NC Fathers

NC Non-Custodial Fathers and Parents READ NOW

NC FathersThis is an article that all NC Non-Custodial Fathers and Parents need to bookmark and read daily because we feel it addresses many issues you face daily in the NC Courts, with NC Judges, NC Legislators, and the venerable NC Office of Child Support and Enforcement. We are not only talking to NC Non-Custodial Fathers and Parents, we are talking to every single voting member of the non-custodial extended family.

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Here is the bottom line for NC Non-Custodial Fathers and Parents:

YOU REPRESENT GREATER THAN 50% OF THE US POPULATION, DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT ONCE YOU FACTOR IN NON-CUSTODIAL PARENTS, AND THEIR EXTENDED FAMILY, THE COLLECTIVE POWER YOU YIELD IS IMMENSE. IF YOU ARE TIRED OF NOT SEEING YOUR CHILDREN EQUALLY, OR GOING TO JAIL, PAYING ENFORCEMENT SO THAT YOU CAN SEE YOUR KIDS, OR HAVING YOUR LICENSE REVOKED, OR BEING CALLED A ABUSER OR DEADBEAT START ENDING POLITICIANS AND JUDGES CAREERS. WE ASSURE YOU IT WILL STOP.

There are well funded, super strong, and well aligned lobby groups and political parties at work every single day in NC who have agendas that need the word “Non-Custodial” (usually fathers) to exist to further their agendas and generate revenue. Until NC Non-Custodial Fathers, and EVERY SINGLE member and friends of his family unite and start using their money and voting power to meet the other side head on, you will continue to lose. You will continue to never win custody (except in extreme cases). You will continue to be jailed. You will continue to have a federal agency devoted to following you daily wanting more and more money. You will never have equal visitation. Judges will continue to allow custodial mothers and parents to move your children hundreds of miles away from you. You will continue to face false domestic violence and sexual abuse charges because they generate a lot of federal attention that gives the accuser an advantage in divorce settlements and child custody matters. You will continue to watch the custodial mother receive federal and state assistance, tax credits, housing assistance, educational assistance, and medical assistance while you RECEIVE NOTHING except your name revealed on a state sponsored “deadbeat father” registry website.

Why won’t NC Judges and Legislators allow us to pay child support to institutions that DIRECTLY affect our children instead of to a woman? Because the women lobby groups want child support to help children and WOMEN

Again, we are not only talking to the “NC Non-Custodial Father”. We know that paternal grandmothers are hurting. Sisters of NC Non-Custodial Father are hurting. We know that Step-Mothers are hurting. We know that a LOT of extended family members of the Non-Custodial parent are being beaten to death emotionally while mothers and her extended family are enjoying the fruits of raising and nurturing your children and grandchildren.

We do not care that NC Judges, NC Legislators, and others say about these issues not existing; YOU know these issues exists because you live it every single day as a NC Non-Custodial Father or Parent.

AGAIN, the bottom line is this, if the NC Non-Custodial family does not immediately meet and get together and start sending severe messages to NC Judges, NC Legislators, and Congress that the time for Shared Parenting is now, then everything outlined above will continue to burden NC Non-Custodial Fathers and his extended family.

We do not care if you are a Republican, Democrat, African-American, Hispanic, Asian, Caucasian, or Martian. The issues above directly affect NC Non-Custodial Fathers and numerous members in the extended family each and EVERY day in NC and it is killing one side of NC kids families, as well as NC Kids.

Until the issues outlined below are addressed as it relates to NC Non-Custodial Fathers and Parents, there will continue to be anxiety, anger, resentment, and mistrust between maternal and paternal extended families, the NC Courts and her officials, and NC legislators. But more importantly all the adjectives just mentioned will continue to form one big black cloud over the heads of NC’s kids.

  • Drop the legal terms CUSTODIAL vs. Non-CUSTODIAL (AND VISITOR). Having divisive terms angers the lesser side.
  • Equal visitation for both parents. We don’t care if you don’t get along. We don’t care that you need to move closer to mommy and daddy for support. We don’t care that you dislike each other. We don’t care that he/she has different parenting skills. We don’t care that you accepted a new job in another state. We don’t care that you met someone on the Internet and want to move where they live. You BOTH created a child and you BOTH are going to raise said child. Stop keeping files on each other outlining everything he/she has done wrong, we don’t care. Stop bad mouthing the other parent in public or face fines. When NC Judges do this, all the crazy and insane mayhem that clogs the courts will stop and parents will be forced to suck it up and get along for the betterment of the child.
  • Get rid of the NC Office of Child Support Enforcement. When you have a designated federal agency that does work for custodial parents against NC Non-Custodial parents you set a fire for resentment, anger, hatred, and angst in the Non-Custodial parent and extended family that only leads to mistrust of the government and legislators. Tell both parents to suck it up and pay equally.
  • Stop giving custodial mothers state and federal assistance. Give BOTH parents assistance to raise healthy and happy children.

Remember, the ones that balk at this idea are the ones who benefit financially from a divisive system. We don’t care what the experts say. We don’t care what the national organization for women or men say. We don’t care what psychologist and psychiatrist say. It does not take a brain scientist to understand when you give one parent extreme power, money, and benefits over the other parent it sets a fire. It is this fire that is destroying NC youth.

Now we realize we just advocated for a system that will decrease fighting and bring peace to NC’s kids. So why are we asking EVERY SINGLE NC Non-Custodial Father and EVERY SINGLE member of the paternal extended family to fight like hell to remove divisive judges and legislators, de-fund lobby groups that fight for “womens rights” or “fathers rights” rather that “childrens rights”, and remove from power anyone that advocates for divisiveness?

The answer to that question is unfortunately because nothing outlined above will happen unless the powers that be are FORCED to do it. There is too much money, power, and votes to be obtained by judges, politicians, and special interest groups in the current system.  If you do not IMMEDIATELY use your money and align yourself and your family with other NC Non-Custodial Fathers and their extended family then you will CONTINUE TO LOSE and your Children will CONTINUE TO BE ALIENATED FROM YOU.

Again, one last time, if you do not make this a daily fight for the rest of your life then you need to stop complaining about your rights being violated or telling us how you have had this and that happen to you. When you are ready to start this journey, Contact US.

NC Fathers is also very interested in hearing from non-custodial fathers who are in the military and stationed at Camp Lejeune, Cherry Point, Pope Air Force Base, and Fort Bragg. We believe that military fathers face an even greater uphill battle than fathers in the civilian world and we want to hear more about your experiences. Specifically, we hear time and time again how Judges will tell military fathers that they cannot have custody or anything close to healthy visitation because they are deployable, yet women in the military who have children don’t appear to have the same hurdle to overcome.

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September 3, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

54 Comments »

  1. OK GUYS IM NEW TO THIS SITE, BUT I SEE WHAT YOUR SAYING. I KNEW I WAS GETTING SCREWED, JUST NOT HOW BAD. GOT A QUESTION, MY DAUGHTER IS 22, MY ORIGINAL PAYMENT WAS AGREED AT $50 DOLLARS A WEEK IN 92 PAID THROUGH THE CLERK OF COURT. ANYWAY LOW AND BEHOLD I GET A NEW JOB, 15 DOLLARS AN HOUR, MY EX GOES TO SOCIAL SERVICES AND I END UP WITH A $310 A MONTH PAYMENT, JOB LASTED ABOUT 8 MONTHS. TRYED TO GET IT REDUCED AND THE JUDGE LAUGHED AT ME. IVE MADE IT THIS FAR WITHOUT ANY TIME BUT BEEN IN AND OUT OF COURT FOREVER. MY LAST PAYMENT WAS MADE IN MAY 2011, I OWE A LITTLE OVER $7000, GOT A LETTER IN THE MAIL FIRST OF THE MONTH, THAT IF I COULDENT PAY 1050 BY THE 17TH OF FEB. THEY WOULD TAKE LEGAL ACTION,,,,, BEEN THERE DONE THAT,,,, THE QUESTION IS I COULDENT DO IT.. ITS ALL AREARS, DO I HAVE ANY OPTIONS OR JUST GO AHEAD AND PACK MY TOOTHBRUSH. IM SELF EMPLOYED, SMALL AUTO SHOP AT HOME, THE ECONOMY SUCKS AND IM STRUGLING TO KEEP THE HOUSE. BUT MY EX SPENT CHRISTMAS IN THE BEHAMAS. ANY IDEAS? AND I DONT HAVE A CLUE IF THEYLL SERVE PAPERS, OR PICK ME UP.

    Comment by JW RAMSEY | February 21, 2012 | Reply

    • Hi JW,
      We are not Lawyers, this is not legal advise. In regards to WHAT a Judge will do is unanswerable by anyone because in NC Judges have so much discretion. He/She could forgive you of the arrears, or imprison you for the maximum allowed time. But in regards to your last question, if they take legal action you will be served with papers and if you do not show then they will come get you.

      Comment by ncfathers | February 21, 2012 | Reply

  2. Hi JW. I completely empathize with your situation and am so sorry you are dealing with such a horrid, seemingly spiteful woman AND system. I know some of the replies may come off as sounding harsh and I know we all need to vent. But most importantly WE need to support this site and their goal in order to make things better. Sure, it might not help you nor I right this moment but slowly and surely it will and someday justice will be served, laws will be changed and we can know we were a part of it. Just keep up with this site and do what they ask. CONTACT LEGISLATORS! BTW, I am new to this site and I check it everyday for updates on what I can do to make a change. It helps me feel somewhat in control. FIGHT BACK!!!!

    Comment by jennygracesmom | March 11, 2012 | Reply

  3. My grandson was taken into DSS custody from his Father within 24 hours after he just got him back, placed into Foster Care, with no reasonable efforts made to keep him with family, where many family members were available. He has been moved 5 times. He is only 2 years old. He is now in kinship care.DSS has no regard for this child’s mental/emotional welfare. They will be going after the Father for child support. They also claim they get no government funds for this child even though they have custody of him. Too much to list here. Do I need to be in this group?

    Comment by Darla McMinn | March 22, 2012 | Reply

    • Darla,
      If you have a desire to see the NC Family Courts and Social Services agencies reformed such that they do everything around bolstering kids BOTH parents instead of pitting them against each other then of course.

      And we agree that when DSS takes children they they should IMMEDIATELY place them with the other parent, and be SURE that DSS receives funding for a child in custody.

      Comment by ncfathers | March 22, 2012 | Reply

    • Dear Darla,
      I feel SO sorry for this innocent little boy! I am sorry for you and your grandsons family and friends as well but as we all know IT IS THE CHILDREN WHOM ARE THE BIGGEST VICTIMS OF THIS MENTAL TORMENT! I very much so empathize with what you and your family are going through and you are on the right site for support! As over and over again emphasized this site is not ‘mama’ haters! :) It is about justice for the children. I know what you are going through is unfair but the family court systems, judges and even our own lawyers are unfair! They ARE darn good at being biased though! read, read, read this site daily. contribute and receive. I have made some head way by following some good advice on this site. You at the very least will learn all the fancy words to use in court and with your lawyer! :) I will pray for you and the little boy. Tamara

      Comment by Tamara Abraham LeValley | March 28, 2012 | Reply

  4. You aren’t going to see much reaction with female on male…why…cause the director herself is abusive to her own employees, esp men.

    Comment by Ida | March 24, 2012 | Reply

  5. Holly, yea, we often hear this from custodial mothers who are just fine with fathers and their families having less time than you with children, women who need child support to live, women who enjoy the tax incentives, women who love the social services goodies that come their way, and the control.

    Comment by ncfathers | May 27, 2012 | Reply

    • Clearly if a person (I’m sure you think its only men who leave ppl, do bad things, and move away) leaves the area then shared parenting won’t work. Our proposol is for that first presumption then if people make bad decisions it reverts back to some other arrangement.

      Comment by ncfathers | May 27, 2012 | Reply

  6. This is reassuring. It’s very sickening that custodial mothers feel the laws were written to protect them as mothers, and forget about the best interest of the children. They alienate the children simply by using these legal terms of “custodial parent” and “visitation with dad” without regard to how it might make their child feel to hear their dad belittled. The children themselves learn to alienate their dad. I want to see NC set a precedence that it’s normal for all parents to share equally in the responsibility and rights to raising their children, and assigning custodial and visitation parents should ONLY be done in rare exceptions. Too many children are losing their childhood and valuable time with their fathers while cases are tied up in over-booked courts. Too many mothers recklessly deny rights to the fathers without any regard to the harm done to their children. It makes me sick, and I support your cause completely. Now to find specific ways I can help!

    By the way, I am a divorced mother who loves my children enough to allow them to love their father. When marriage counseling didn’t work for us, we got divorced and then went through counseling on our own to learn to parent jointly in a divorced family. More judges need to make this counseling mandatory, as we learned a LOT about how harmful it is to alienate your children, and how even the simplest of well-intentioned acts can alienate a child. We are still a family and our children feel completely free to phone either parent anytime they want, and talk through anything they want with either of us. As much as possible, our children still feel part of a complete family. Whoever wouldn’t want this for their children has serious issues!

    Comment by Ann | June 12, 2012 | Reply

    • Ann you and your Ex have done an outstanding thing. If most parents did this then the youth of today would have a totally different outlook on life. Reading your statement was definitely an inspiration.

      Comment by TD | July 30, 2012 | Reply

  7. LAURIE HUTCHENS took approximately 20% of my time with my children away. I went to court and asked simply for half and half visitation and she gave me two weekends a month during the school year and week on week off in the summer. That’s about 85 days a year. Her ruling was based solely on the fact that I live in Fosyth County and drive the kids 30 minutes to school and that “sometimes the kids get to bed late”. My ex has refused to allow me to do homework unless I do it at our old house. She has routinely played mind games with the kids and even moved four of our five kids into her bedroom where they sleep EVERY NIGHT…. In a three bedroom house. So now I will rarely see my kids during the school year which means it will be nearly impossible to keep up with their school work and I’m paying over 900 a month in Child Support PLUS 600-800 a month in daycare during the summer.

    Comment by shawn cox | July 13, 2012 | Reply

    • Hi Shawn,

      I am not a lawyer, but we’ve been going through similar tactics with my husband’s ex wife. Something that has helped him is to keep a journal. Write EVERYTHING in it, good and bad. If you go to court, you can pull out the relevant info and it’ll help to see trends, and is something judges will read! Also, you are on the birth certificate so you have all rights to school records and to be involved. If your ex won’t actively involve you, contact the school and be sure they have your address and send notices to you as well. Meet the teacher and give her/him your email to add to the class list. Make yourself aware of ALL school parties and events, and even volunteer in the classroomm and make a point to have lunch with your children monthly or so. You can be a big part of school wihtout doing homework, but your ex does not have a right to dictate what you do in your own home. If you have children on a school night, then do homework! If you have them on a weekend, make yourself aware of areas they need help and practice flash cards for 15 minutes, or spelling words, and read books. These are ways to get involved with school that no one can take away. When they are with their mom, call them once per day, or every other day, and if she denies phone access or tries to control their conversations with you, be sure to document that. Once you have enough “evidence” that the kids will benefit spending more time with you, hire an attorney and file a motion to change custody. Just be sure at all times you are the mature parent and you don’t play her games back at her. Good luck!!

      Comment by Anne | July 31, 2012 | Reply

  8. A little over 3 years ago my x-wife took me to court with no evidence at all and made ridiculous claims about me. The judge stopped all visitation and contact due to the nature of her claims, which she had absolutley no evidence of. I was ordered to take a psychiatric evaluation, and drug tests. They all came back clean. We went to family counseling and eventually I ran out of energy and money. I am now married to my new wife the whole time this has been going on. I finally managed to get all the tests the judge wanted done and I am ready to go back to court. The order put in place was supposed to be temporary and is very restrictive. I am trying to figure out which route to take and what my chances are. My ex-wife has let me give my daughters birthday and christmas cards the last two years, though I have not been able to see or even speak to the kids. My ex-wife also says in person that she does not think I am crazy or on drugs. That was all just some stuff she pulled in court. I have all the evidence I need to proove my case, plus I have been raising two other kids this entire time. I am ready to go handle it but I do not want to just waste my time and money. I have been broke while dealing with this before and I liked it much less than what I am dealing with now. The court took my girls away with no evidence at all while I was raising two other kids. I really do not understand this.

    Comment by Wade Boothe | October 25, 2012 | Reply

    • Wade, you asked what your chances are but you never said what it is you are seeking. Are you seeking custody or to establish visitation? We are not lawyers and nothing about this should be taken as such, only a lawyer can give you advise, but even that lawyer can not tell you what will happen since Judges in NC have so much discretion and can do whatever they want. My FEELING is you will not get custody since it has been 3 years, and you will probably get the default visitation of every other weekend and the routine order to pay child support. As for the false claim or allegation, this is a very common and routine tactic custodial mothers use as a weapon in court. I hope you will join us on Facebook or our Mailing List to keep us updated.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | October 25, 2012 | Reply

  9. What will it take to bring this growing crisis to the attention of the White House? Would the 1st Lady be interested in tackling this issue the way she did childhood obesity? The damage being done to our kids which is the future of America should be viewed as a NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT!! I recognize that this is all BIG legal business for Attorneys, social services, and the Prison System; but why continue to severely punish innocent children at the hands of Capitalism. Where are the Child advocacy rights organizations??

    Comment by David J. Grogan | November 23, 2012 | Reply

    • Hi David,
      Thank you for your comment on NC Non-Custodial Fathers and Parents. I seriously doubt that the White House or first lady Michelle Obama would take on this issue simply because this administration is supported by the liberal agenda, and the liberal agenda is firmly on the side of women and children centered courts and have little use for Fathers except as payment systems. If you look at liberal groups like the National Organization For Women, you will see that their belief is that damage to children only comes at the hands of violent fathers who force mothers into economic despair by asking for equally shared parenting.

      As for what it is going to take to fix this, the minute NC Non-Custodial fathers, step-mothers, paternal grandmothers and grandfathers, and aunts and uncles unite around a central lobby that affects elections and yields the same power as the “women and children” centered lobby, this will change. This is why we beg you guys to invite non-custodial families from your community to our organization daily.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | November 23, 2012 | Reply

    • Additionally, you have to remember that President Barack Obama is about increasing entitlement programs for which child support collection helps to fund via the Social Security Act, Title IV-D program.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | November 23, 2012 | Reply

  10. I am thankful for the system in place. I appreciate DHHS helping enforce child support. My ex would not have paid the first dollar toward the children he helped create. If he had custody of the children, I would pay my share of child support toward them. I love them and put their needs over the animosity I have toward their father.

    Comment by Raleighmom2 | December 10, 2012 | Reply

    • Raleighmom2,
      Oh we don’t have a problem with child support, we have a problem with the child support system also reimbursing welfare and that this system is preferred over non-custodial fathers being equal with custodial parents. And I can assure you, as a non-custodial mother, if you were prevented from seeing your children 26 days a month and therefore ordered to pay high child supported and learned this helped welfare recipients you would have a problem. By chance are any of your children male?

      Comment by stompkinsnc | December 10, 2012 | Reply

  11. I have a family member his case is in Durham NC. His wife left him for another man while he was in the military. He pays 1800.00 a month for child support lost his job, house and car. The Judge would not give him a court appointed attorney when he told her all this. She told him it was his problem. She would not lower his support. He was taken to court and put in jail last year at least 34 times. Now she is making up more stories and no one in the family can see the children and he can’t call them on the phone. Two days before Christmas more charges were brought and he could not see them for Christmas. She has lived with 3 different men since last year and he is not allowed to bring anything up about anything she does. And he also has to pay her lawyer every time she takes him to court. He just was layed off from his job again and she told him she would not give him a court appointed attorney. Her family is wealthy ours is not. The children love their father and our family but what she says goes and any lies she makes up he cannot defend himself except to say it didn’t happen. Now he has cancer, But still he can’t get help.

    Comment by Cindy | January 4, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Cindy,
      Thank you for commenting on our blog NC Non-Custodial Fathers, and we especially want to thank you as a female in the paternal family for standing up and pointing out the problems with the NC Family Courts. Before we go any further, it is important for us to inform you that we are not a law firm and our organization has no lawyers therefore nothing in this post should be considred legal advice.

      Unfortunately, there is no mechanism under the law for a Judge to give a court appointed attorney in a civil matter, only criminal. There are literally tens of thousands of non-custodial fathers and mothers in NC who never see their children because they do not have the money to retain an attorney. And, it is VERY common for custodial parents to make false allegations as a tactical tool in maintaining or winning custody. The problem is that Judges have learned that it is best to believe the allegation and err on the side of caution in these matters even if there is no evidence of abuse or misconduct. The problem is, when they are wrong it alienates children from parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and others for many years (sometimes forever).

      As for child support and jail, the State of NC does not care if non-custodial parents go to jail because they believe that these parents so fear jail they will find the money somehow. You have to remember that the State of NC gets back federal money for each dollar they collect in child support so there is an incentive to collect as much as possible, even if that means imprisoning those in poverty to achieve it.

      We hope you will join our mailing list and facebook page, as well as continue to invite the estimated 5.5 million people that come from non-custodial families so that we can built a large organization of voters that can force changes that will never come until there is a organization forcing it.

      Please know that our thoughts are with you and your family.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | January 4, 2013 | Reply

  12. I agree with a lot of what is being said here the same or even worse practices and interpretation of the law is happening in Catawba county as well I haven’t seen my kid since 2008 all because of a drama queen, a DA, and and enforcement officer that is creating work they often try to get a cost of living raise from me while I’m out on the road trying to keep the money coming but can’t appear in court because of job duties; hard to drive a truck OTR and make court dates. It’s really one sided and no one in the married mothers home works and yet my kid does without things learned this from her text messages she sent over the holidays…..

    Comment by H. Eric Parsons | January 6, 2013 | Reply

  13. So Glad I found your site…

    Comment by Rusty | January 8, 2013 | Reply

  14. I am one of the many men who have taken a beaten from the court “system” in Nash County NC. Since our separation in June of 2006, to now, my ex has gotten away with everything and I have paid the price for things I didn’t even do. Need examples, in Aug 06 she assaulted me by trying to drag me down the road with her car, and that same day she used my daughter’s car seat carrier to dent the side of my truck, while my daughter was still in the car seat carrier. Then, in Nov 06 she had her boyfriend try to run me off the road using his car. She followed this up by impersonating a Rocky Mount Police Officer by the name of Officer Joyner. During this incident, she called my friends work number and told her boss that she, Officer Joyner, had an arrest warrant for my friend, and it was for a drug violation. Thank God the boss didn’t fire my friend, but it took some tap dancing to make sure the boss didn’t think my friend was going to be causing more negative police attention because of me. In the end, the Rocky Mount Police Detective told me my ex lied to him about impersonating a police officer, and only after her friends started getting nervous about their involvement in the incident did she decide to come clean with the RMPD. However, the Detective said he was not going to charge her for the offense. Why you ask? Because he was busy working on a recent homicide and he didn’t have time to process her. So, those who live in Rocky Mount, when the next murder occurs, you are free to impersonate any officer you chose. Hell, use the Chief’s name. If his detectives won’t do anything then why would he? Remember I said I paid the price when she gets away with stuff, well, both of the assaults listed above resulted in my ex charging me with Domestic Criminal Trespassing. She had to have some sort of charge against me so that she could get me to drop my charges against her and her boyfriend. Funny thing though, the trespassing charge carried more punishment than the domestic assault she committed or the assault with a deadly weapon he committed. Makes sense to me, I guess. Moving on, I started dating my friend who had the false charges placed her, and she had a 3 year old boy with cerebral palsy. When my ex caught wind of my new girlfriend. her son, and the fact she wasn’t making very much money while trying to raise a special needs child, my ex threatened the little boys life. She also said I should put the “little retard” on my insurance policy so when he dies I can pay her (my ex) more money. From an official standpoint, I filed charges for the communicating a threat, and in court in Lenior County my ex admitted to threatening the child. The kicker, the Judge did NOTHING to her for it. Getting back into Nash County, my ex violated the court order which requires both parents to allow unrestricted access to the other parent. Well, I bought cell phone and my ex, on three separate 30 day periods, refused to let me talk to my own children. On many occasions she called me worthless and many other choice names, all while my children were on the phone talking to me, or in front of me. From the legal standpoint again, when I filed a motion to have the issues heard in Nash County, the Judge did nothing to her, and instead reduced my calling window from once a day, to once every other day. WTF? How did I lose time for her contempt. Then, this past year I retired from the military and I took a major cut in pay. As you can imagine working in law enforcement in NC doesn’t pay much. When I filed for a reduction in child support my ex, and her disrespectful attorney J. Per year from Tarboro, drug out the continuations for the next 7 months. Many times, her attorney would set up court dates without my input or appearance in court, and even after picking his own court dates, he set them for dates he knew he couldn’t make. This will surprise you, he didn’t give a crap when I complained about the constant continuations. Moving on, when we finally got into court the judge reduced the child support, but refused to acknowledge the extensive amount of time I spent unemployed and he assigned a child support amount that covered the time I was without a job. So, I was making no money, and still paying the full amount for several months before going broke, and when it was done he still hit me as if I had a job the whole time, and he hit me for arrears’s and attorney’s fees. Then, even though the matter wasn’t on the calendar for hearing, the judge took away my tax credit for our oldest son. This credit was given to me by my ex because I did all of the driving during visitations. Now it was given back to her, and the judge refused to allow an extraordinary travel expenses for all of the driving. Most recently, the case is now with DSS, which in my opinion ( an official opinion of DSS) stands for Dads getting Shit on by another government Service. OK, so the letters are a bit off but you get the point. Now my ex wants to make sure I pay 75% of the non-reimbursed medical expenses even though I don’t make 75% of the combined income. WTF, again. We know she would want me to pay 90% if I made 90% of the income, but now that I make about 55% of the combined income she wants me to keep paying the 75%. In closing, the judge who have heard my case are Covolo, Britt, Stewart and Cooper. And, after a brief visit to my ex wife’s employer for an eye exam, and extensive interaction between my ex and Judge Britt’s wife Sharon, Judge Britt excused himself from hearing the case. Wonder what they talked about during the intake exam?

    Comment by J Crawford | January 12, 2013 | Reply

    • Sir, thanks for commenting and we hope you will either join our mailing list or facebook page and continue to invite the MANY other non-custodial family members to our organization so that we can put and end to this system.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | January 12, 2013 | Reply

  15. I had thought that “we” were a happily married couple until August 2012. Then I got a job in Georgia (great paying job, when I could not find employment in NC). My spouse me that I needed to go down and get started and they would follow soon after. THEN I found out that she is in Myrtle Beach with another man she meet 4 days after I left (took our daughter on this 3 day trip). September she files for divorce from me for “abandonment of family”. I am (by court order) paying for the house (that I no longer live in), the car (which I no longer drive), credit card bills (that I did not use or open), car insurance (for the car I do not drive) and child support (I did not protest that, I take care of my child). On top of the rent for my place, gas to get to work, utilities and the food I eat (tired of Ramon noodles now). My spouse does not work, is not looking for a job nor even concerned about getting one. She has filed for unemployment (and gotten it), food stamps (and gotten it), medicaid (gotten that too, even though I am paying for her and our child’s medical insurance) AND welfare (got that too)! The system is REALLY screwed up when the father works his butt off and gets punished for the spouse wanted a divorce that he did not want at the time. Right now I am fighting to just get to see my child. I have been fighting to get my daughter full time. But with NC and it’s “maintain Status Quo” that they do? Funny how the law things that “Status Quo” is maintained with a cheating, dead-beat mother and her new boyfriend more than with the father. I also hate that I am under threat of law to pay child support to her. But no one is monitoring the fact that my estranged wife is spending the child support at Victoria’s Secret, Frederick’s of Hollywood and on trips to different places not on our child. Someone needs to talk with the government about how his stuff is being handled.

    Comment by Ronald Corey Annas | January 14, 2013 | Reply

    • Ronald, thanks for commenting on our NC Non-Custodial Fathers and Mothers page. Your message has been heard very loud and clear! Legislators and Judges will never change the family law system till our voices are as strong as the groups that oppose us, and believe us when we say they are well funded groups that have been around for decades with hundreds of thousands of members. Please help us build that member base by looking through your friends list and inviting non-custodial parents, step-parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents. Additionally, non-custodial families are everywhere and you likely come across many in your normal daily travels. Please invite them as well. We don’t want their money, no advertising, not going to call them at home, we just want their voice and to hear their stories.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | January 14, 2013 | Reply

    • Openeyes, let me ask this, if you and your wife adopt a little boy, and no doubt you will love him as anyone can and he turns out to be not perfect and has pre-marital sex and you later find out that the mother never told you about the pregnancy and he came to you and said “I would have loved the child and supported him/her” are you telling me you wouln’t have a problem?

      Comment by stompkinsnc | January 14, 2013 | Reply

  16. a grandmothers story….. my son has an amazing beautiful little boy who is the light of our life. The mother hid the child for over a month when he was born never telling the father that he was premature or on a ventilator. my son with the assistance of us went to a lawyer requested DNA testing so that he could go for his parental rights. the reason behind that… they were never married and in NC when the parents are not married the father has no rights until DNA proves he is the father. in the last two years he has been to court twice. once for the DNA test once for temporary visitations. we have been “on call” and “canceled” over 14 times. for causes of: the mother or the mothers lawyer was not available due to sickness, death, other appointments or did not know they were suppose to be present. we were canceled 3 times due to over extension of court and lack of time. we have spent over 4000.00$ in fees related to the mothers lawyer. when i say that let me explain. we just received an itemized bill from our lawyer 915.00 was for the two court appointments and time led up to the court appointments. the other 3000. was spent on our lawyer reminding her lawyer to do things that had been court ordered…. like the DNA test, social security card release, adding fathers name to birth certificate, custody/mediation agreements that they (the mother and mothers lawyer) requested and then refused to follow. we now owe our lawyer more money and have not even been to court for what is considered “standard NC child agreement visitations.” yes that is correct my son is not requesting custody. he just wants weekends shared holidays and legal equal custody with mother retaining physical custody. at the present time my son gets two 24 supervised visitation with his son. no weekends no holidays no rights to doctor records …. nothing. why supervised… because it was a “temporary” emergency hearing after the mother refused to follow mediation agreement.
    during this whole period of over two years my son pays his child support on time and has no back arrears. he has been threatened with contempt of court for not notifying child support enforcement of a change in jobs. (the reason why he had to change jobs was because he took time off for a court case that was canceled and he lost his job over it) so then he got a crappy job that is just enough to pay his child support. he saved all pay and would send it in at the beginning of every month so that the mother would have a lump sum at one time. but that is not acceptable by NC child support so now the mother has to wait for a little bit every week after it is deducted from his pay check. because my son wanted to send in all the money at once instead of a little bit each week from an automatic paycheck deduction he was threatened by the child support lady with contempt of court. he did not know he was suppose to notify them of changes in job status as he has never received papers on child support except the initial one that states how much he is to pay every month. he has been accused falsely of posting stuff on facebook and twitter in regard to the mother and mothers family when he does not have social media. he took a drug test which came out clean and went for a “drug therapy evaluation” which was negative. we pay all his bills and he lives with us so that he can afford his child support. my son has provided above what is requested in child support.
    that precious little grand baby is the light of my son and our world. we live for the 48 hours we get to see him and yet here we are wondering what to do next. we have nothing left. we are broke, financially emotionally, physically. we feel as if the court system wants us to walk away. it is tearing us up knowing that we love him so much but may not be able to continue down this road. i know that every child is worth all the money in the world but when you cannot provide for yourselves because you are paying lawyers.. what do you do then. our cars are old,our furniture is old, we cut coupons and struggle everyday. and yet it does not seem to matter because if my son quits paying his child support he is a dead beat dad. if my son gives up his rights he is a dead beat dad. if my son leaves state to work or go military then he is considered “abandoning his child because of missed visitations or court hearings” and yet he struggles to find a better job because in every job interview he has to tell the prospective employer that “he is on call for court” and so for two years we have sat waiting and paying and waiting and paying. while that mom moves on with her life. marriage, school, job, etc.
    we have contacted the local congressman, senator and even the primary court system in Raleigh NO-ONE wants to take a complaint, allow us to file a complaint, listen to us, or help us.
    and yet every time i look into my grandsons eyes i am filled with so much love.
    and every time i look at my son i am filled with so much sorrow.
    i am tired of talking i am tired of complaining .. i am just plain tired. tomorrow is our last appointment with our lawyer. we can no longer move ahead. unless our lawyer can guarantee “something” which we all know will not happen. and so they have won. we have nothing left and i hope someday my grandson will understand that. and i hope my son can live with the fact that he did all he could and the mother and court system did not care. and i hope that someday …. there will be a judge, a court system that will care.

    Comment by Layla grims (@Laylagrims) | January 16, 2013 | Reply

  17. I am a non-custodial parent of an 18yo son. I have been heavily involved with my son from day one and his mother and I split up when he was almost 2. I have changed my share of diapers and spent a lot of time with my son. It is just a natural thing for me to be the best dad I can be. I have paid child support, even more than I was required to for over seven years in addition to paying for him to be on my insurance. I have always encouraged his mom that we need to work together to raise our son. In 2010 I had to undergo heart surgery for 6 blockages. In 2011, I was downsized and have been unemployed since/ I am now on permanent disability. My son is 18 now and received a lump sum SSDI payment, plus almost $800/month through August of this year. So, I have been physically and financially “THERE” for my son and will continue to do so. However, his mother does not feel it is neccessary (Or she is required) to discuss with me future raising of our son since Child Support was terminated by the court. I have tried to work with her on FAFSA, she says she doesn’t need to discuss with me since this does not require any info about my financial situation. He is obese and I have tried to work with her on helping to control this and set rules for him on what he eats when away from home. She says she cannot control that. He has self-esteem, anger, and self-confidence issues yet says don’t need to be informed of the problems she has in dealing with these issues. We have joint legal custody, he lives with her, and while I know I am limited in what I can control I cannot help but believe that there are not some kind of options available to me in making sure that I am informed and involved in making decisions. She only fusses and tries to bring our son in the middle.
    So, how about concentrating and addressing things like this in the courts as opposed to beating up the “Father”? Any guidance would be a great help.

    Comment by Philip White | February 11, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Philip, thanks for posting and telling your story as a non-custodial father. I honestly don’t know what advice to give you. If your ex has control and will not let you be a part of the decision making, then she is going to do what she wants regardless of what advice we give unfortunately. Now, do I understand that your son is now 18 years of age?

      Comment by stompkinsnc | February 11, 2013 | Reply

  18. At 18 yrs of age, no one has control or custody. He is an adult. I’d treat this as you would if you were married to his mom. Offer him emotional support but allow him to have independence. Sometimes kids need to learn through mistakes. Maybe you can set aside one day per week that you two do father-son things, and be a listening ear for him. You could also offer to pay for counseling if he wants it. Other than weddings and grand kids, there is little you and your ex have to do with each other anymore.

    Comment by Laura | February 11, 2013 | Reply

  19. Thank you for this site, my son is a NC non-custodial parent who has very little rights to his child which is painful to watch. We always hear about the fathers who don’t want anything to do with his child and then we have dads that do who aren’t allowed. Count me in as a supporter

    Comment by NC non-custodial grandmother | April 1, 2013 | Reply

  20. I’m a father of a six year old boy. I was in the military up until last year December when I official retired. The situation is this I pay $819.00 a month in child support. The ex cheated on me while I deployed and my son was a month old. She was now pregnant three months later after the affair. Took her to court for custody and I got shafted by the system I believed would see through her ways. The main reason the judge gave her primary custody was because I constantly deploying and that would not be a stable environment for a child. I made a comment to the Judge that I have single female soldiers that deploy and have a family care plan that is require for deploying soldiers. That did not matter to him. So as because I was military father I was denied to have primary custody. Now, the court visitation is 1st and 3rd weekend from Friday 7pm – Monday 7pm. Holidays and school vacations alternates per year. Summer I get him for a month but I have to let her see him for the 3rd weekend Friday 7pm – Sunday 7 pm. Since then I have been denied visitation on numerous occasions. I have called to police to get involved and presented the court order and all they can do is a police report. No real help there just documentation that it really happened. The boyfriend that lives with her has had 2 DUI’s and I went to court and files a restraining order against him. Just because I fear that he would get in the car with my son while he was drinking. The courts did nothing. I deployed a short time later after my tour was complete. I arrived on the weekend that was my visitation time with him. She denied me stating that I didn’t let her know I was coming back. Three days later she gives her boyfriend my address to my parents house. He was clearly drunk and comforted me at the house. A physical altercation occurred and the police called. The police showed up and made a report that I was assaulted at my parents house. Was told to file a report at the magistrates office. I went immediately the night of the incident and file it. A week later just a couple of days before I get to see my son. I was presented with a restraining order. I was in disbelief that she could make up some story and get a judge to sign off on it. So now I had to wait for my court date. Hired a lawyer and went to court. She stated that I threaten to do her harm and of her children. That I beat her boyfriend up. Never one stating that she was never there and that he came over my house. My lawyer asked one question. Were you there? Simple and to the point. “No”. The judge looked at her and asked so when then he threaten you? My boyfriend told me. The judge dismissed the case. Finally, she got caught in her lies. Now, even my son is six she is starting the same antics again. Plus, my son told me this weekend that the boyfriend his him. I was extremely angry over these. I called NC Child Protective Services and made a complaint. I was told that it was not illegal to show discipline in that matter. I’m the father and no man will put there hands on my child. She took the report but I in complete shock. I have called lawyers, spent money on consults and asked that now that I’m out the military and live 10 minutes from her home can I get custody or joint physical custody. I tell them my son doesn’t like it there. He tells me all the time. If he does something wrong and I raise my voice he runs and yells don’t hit me. I am very concerned about it. They all say is going to be hard cause she has been the primary custodian for so long. Is there anything that can be done or does anyone know of a lawyer that will fight for the right of father and not bend over. My son needs a me and feel that my hands are tied.

    Comment by Joel | April 9, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Joel,
      Thanks for commenting on our post regarding the difficulties that NC non-custodial fathers and military fathers face in the NC Family Courts when it comes to child support and child custody. There is no doubt that military fathers face a HUGE uphill battle when it comes to being seen as equal parents with equal access to their children. And, your statement that there are lots of mothers in the military who never lose custody of their children is dead on.

      Additionally, the use of restraining orders and claims of domestic violence during a custody battle are very common because it typically gives mothers a tactical advantage in child custody hearings. Restraining orders are usually handed out like candy because Judges and Magistrates figure it is best to be safe than sorry not realizing that the accused, absent due process, has an even further uphill battle. We believe this encourages false allegations of abuse, but many lawyers and mothers use this because it is usually considered the silver bullet for fast track to custody and getting fathers marginalized in their children’s lives. There are many non-custodial fathers in our organization that have experienced this.

      And you are correct, once primary physical custody has gone on for about a year, Judges tend to not overturn that unless you can show substantial abuse or neglect. This is one of the reasons so many women are drawn to military service members because they know that deployment ensures them being seen as the primary caregiver. Also, after a divorce or separation, many mothers will move to another state and hope that the father can’t get enough money to get her into court once she is found, because usually by this time she can claim that the child has been with her all of the time.

      We hope you will join our mailing list and Facebook page, as well as continue to identify other non-custodial families and military fathers to join our organization so that we have significant numbers to start compelling legislators to end this abuse of the family court system.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | April 9, 2013 | Reply

  21. Hello,I am a NC non-custodial father who has struggled to see my kids over the years due to there mother alienating them against me off and on.I last year finally scraped up enough cash to higher a good atty. to get a decent agreement in place and the mother still will not go by it and now she want let me see my 3-kids now and has told them all kinds of stuff that’s not true i love my kids and miss them I don’t have the money to take her back to court and she always gets away with everything!I need help or I may not ever see my kids again??any advise? I would love to have more info. Thank You!

    Comment by Randall | May 5, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Randall,
      The problem you are describing is one that we hear daily, many times a day. Unfortunately, unless you can find money to hire an attorney, it is very likely you will never see your children again unless the mother relents. There is another option where you can pay I think it’s $199 a month with the Rosen law firm (http://www.rosen.com/the-next-step/) and have EMAIL access to a family law attorney who can give you the forms needed to file a contempt hearing on her for breaking the court order. But beware, there are MANY non-custodial fathers in NC who go this route and Judges just let custodial mothers go on it.

      I see you joined us on Facebook and we appreciate it. Continue to identify non-custodial fathers and THEIR FAMILIES in your city and invite them to our organization. Once we build a 20,000 member organization we are going to ask first, then demand, then force shared parenting and family law reform.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 5, 2013 | Reply

  22. Hello, I am a stepparent of a NC non-custodial father who struggles to see his children. When my stepson went to court finally in December the mother of the twins was granted everything she wanted. The court automatically believed everything she told her lawyer. Because of this my stepson had to be supervised by his mom when the babies got to visit their dad for a few hours on Saturday and a few hours on Sunday for several weekends. He was only granted a few hours each weekend In January 2013 unsupervised. His lawyer was only interested in the money up front and then she did very little to help him. Father’s in NC are treated very unfair. It takes two people to make a baby and why is it always in favor of the mom. My stepson wants to be in his babies lives more and be more involved but he only gets every other weekend Friday thru Sunday. Then every Thursday for a few hours. The twins are 14 months old now and the excuse he is told is they are to small and need to stay with their mother. My stepson works 3rd shift and somehow in court that is used against him. He has 2 sets of parents that love to spend time with the grandbabies and we could each take turns caring for them at night when he works. I hope one day very soon NC will wake up and treat each parent equally. The mother gets help from the government on top of child support. My stepson is struggling to pay everyday bills but the court system doesn’t care. He wants to pay child support but he also needs to live. The state calculates child support before taxes. This needs to change.

    Comment by Belinda Cline Pennington | May 24, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Belinda, and thank you as a Woman and Step-Parent for speaking out on this issue. It is good to see Women in paternal families standing up about everything wrong in the family courts. We actually have a lot of Women on our FACEBOOK PAGE who you can collaborate with, allow us to learn more about your family, and help be a part of building a very large organization of people that can force these changes.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 24, 2013 | Reply

  23. Hello this is my first time on this site. I would like to know if a child stops coming to a non custodial parent house can that parent stop paying child support? The child don’t want to come because of her sister at the house.

    Comment by Eddie Gamble | July 22, 2013 | Reply

    • We are not lawyers and nothing about this answer should be taken as legal advice. But the answer to your question is no, only by court order can you stop your child support.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | July 22, 2013 | Reply

  24. Thank you for the help. I am a stepmother and we are going through a custody battle the child’s father trying to save his daughter and we don’t have the funds for a attorney we paid $3000.00 and she’s asking for 3000.00 more we are very stressed and don’t know who to turn to and in this situation we can’t see the child go back to the mother due to crimes she has done and the kind of life she put the child in.very sad this is very heartbreaking.thanks so much,Jessica

    Comment by Jessica LaDue | August 10, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Jessica,
      We hear from Fathers and non-custodial families in NC who are spending upwards of $20,000 in the courts as lawyers drag these things out until everyone is bankrupt. He who has the most money wins a custody battle in NC, it’s just that simple. In either case, your custody battle has already been decided regardless of how much money you spend. He will lose custody, be pushed to the outermost margins of his child’s life, put into a federal enforcement program while his ex smiles just like millions of Fathers have in this State before him.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | August 10, 2013 | Reply

  25. I admit I have been lucky and ONLY spent $7000 so far on getting custody of my children from their drug addicted mother. But the courts are clearly sided for the mother on these things, and being that I live in California makes it worse for me. Because it was already proven in open court that my ex-wife was addicted to Heroin. But the judge still allowed the kids to live with her and her father, while letting me have them for the summer Then she goes a rebukes me for “You need to make sure you are doing what’s best for these kids”.
    Well if you have ever heard the phrase “Give someone enough rope, and they will hang themselves”, well it is true. When I had our children this summer she completely went downhill. She went and robbed a little old lady and is now in Davidson County Jail on $300,000 bond. Needless to say my children are happy and healthy, they love it out here.

    http://myfox8.com/2013/08/02/3-accused-of-pepper-spraying-elderly-woman-in-thomasville/

    Comment by Josh | August 27, 2013 | Reply

  26. I can understand some points of view here, but I have to say that there are probably as many mothers out there who don’t receive support (or receive very little support) for children the father has chosen not to have contact with. My ex was ordered to pay support based on a false income amount. He easily made 3-4 times what he claimed he made. Of course under the table so there was no proof. We have gone to court and mediation for visitation and he never followed through and has chosen himself not to have contact with my two children. Last year our child support case was up for review. I chose not to review at that time because he had lost his job and I knew there was a good chance in my support amount going down even further. I didn’t receive ANY support for a year during his unemployment. Now that he is employed again and making good money, all taxable this time, I cannot have our case reviewed because it’s outside of the 30 days that I was given to review it last year. The only way I can have the case reviewed now is IF there were significant changes in circumstances for my kids. (Physical or mental, or if I had gotten a job that required a significant change in child care costs.) I am not employed at this time, I am a full time student and the kids go to school now (I home schooled before) AND the non-custodial (absent, dead-beat, jackhole) “father” has a great job with more income and NONE of that counts for anything. It’s garbage!!! Why is childcare the only “significant change” as far as cost goes? School supplies and clothes and extracurricular activities are expensive as hell!! Not to mention all the fundraisers brought home and school pictures, yearbooks and everything else that is FOR THE CHILD. Nope, not a factor.

    You want to complain that I get to file my kids on my taxes? I pay the majority of everything for them, not their “father”!!! You think $388 a month for two kids goes very far?? You want to complain that I get help from the govt? I no longer have insurance benefits, even if I did it’d cost a good bit of the $388 to pay for it. If the father stepped up and did his job I wouldn’t need help from the govt!! I don’t see him covering them on his insurance plan, or offering to pay for an individual plan….

    So for those of you who think your money shouldn’t be going to your ex, think again. Children are expensive. And despite the circumstances, we didn’t make these babies by ourselves. As a custodial parent and the ONLY parent that has ever made an effort for my children, I’m tired of being punished financially. I am tired of struggling by myself and hearing about all the frivolous crap he does and buys. If he doesn’t want to pay and if he doesn’t want to spend time with them or have a relationship, then I should be able to have full custody and full rights to my kids. I shouldn’t have to “fight” in court to have that…and you know what? I couldn’t care less about the money if I didn’t have the possibility of him coming into our lives and deciding he wants to be involved whenever it’s convenient for him looming over my head. He can have his money, I want ALL of the parenting rights to my children!!

    Most of the posts here are all about DRAMA between the two parents. Stupid crap. That *should* be taken into consideration when making decisions about children’s lives and the lives of their parents. But you only hear one side of the story here…and from how crazy some of these posts sound, I can only imagine what some of you have done yourselves. Of course there are going to be some crazy people out there…of course there are going to be some normal people on the other side…of course you’re going to have 2 parents that can’t get along due to circumstances that have nothing to do with the children…that is why there is a system put in place, no matter how broken it is. But remember, there’s people like me who bust their tail and struggle to provide a stable life for their children with no help from the father and there’s very little support or consideration for us too!!

    Comment by OneAngryMomma | August 30, 2013 | Reply

    • Angry Mother,
      We understand there are Fathers who refuse to be involved in their kids lives or pay child support. There are also Mothers who do not want to be Mothers.. you have seen the numbers on adoptions and abortion correct? For Father’s who don’t have State and Federal approved ways to not be a Father like adoption, safe haven placement, or adoption, and who do not want to be in the kids lives, we very much agree that they should be paying child support.

      This site exists for Fathers who do want to be equal parents but are denied in doing so by the NC Family Courts. In these cases those Fathers should be equal parents, directly supporting their kids directly instead of paying Money to the Mother.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | August 31, 2013 | Reply

    • Angry momma,
      I think all of your points are valid. It is because of guys like your ex jackhole that our system is geared for the worst case senario. I don’t know why you are interested in berating someone for complaining about something that is equally unfair. I don’t mind giving my ex money for my kids as long as it goes to t he right thing. If the system simply held the receiving party accountable for where the money is spent… it would make alot of people very happy. including me! I happen to know the ex wife of the guy my wife is with… I would pay my child support on lets say tuesday and he would pay his alimony on wednesday. This senario happened many times. how about that. So Momma… try not to profile us because we are fathers or male… it’s the same as me saying ur just like my ex because you are female and a mother.. and she’s a POS!

      Comment by dspidermancb | September 9, 2013 | Reply

  27. I know this is a site designed to help fathers and many men have been mistreated for years by evil practices of mothers, but why punish all mothers for the acts of others? I am a grand mother that have seen the devastation put on my daughter in Winston Salem. She has been a victim of false abuse allegations, subjected to multiple psychological exams, when even DSS and others have found her to be a no threat to her sons. The Father got custody and use every opportunity to keep her separated from her sons and the lawyer acts like he have a personal hate against her in the name of “Fathers Rights”, because she cannot afford an attorney. The attorney takes his time to construct orders, and when he does, there are items in the orders that wasn’t even discussed in court. Children deserve both parents and now that men are rightfully given equal parenting rights, many innocent “fit”, mothers are now the victims. Children are forced to either love one parent or hate the other because of lying custodial parents. My grandsons R.J. and Nathan will grow up and learn the truth about all the lies and devices used to keep them away from their mother. As for that attorney, I don’t know how he can look at himself in the mirror when he awakens, knowing he is harming my grandsons all in the name of “Super Lawyer”. What about these boys? It’s not about who have custody, it should be about loving your children enough to allow them to have a dad and a mom. May God have mercy on Regrick Howard and Gary Tash for what you are doing to these children. One thing for sure, they will grow up and be able to access every document and find for themselves, you kept them from whom they dearly love, their loving mother.

    Comment by Shelia Smith | September 26, 2013 | Reply

    • Sheila, just because we are a group of Fathers does not mean we are a “Fathers Rights” group. We are a group of non-custodial Fathers in NC who want equally shared parenting. Meaning children have BOTH parents. No more custodial vs. non-custodial.

      Comment by stompkinsnc | September 26, 2013 | Reply

  28. you think that all FATHERS need rights, why don’t you think about the children. small children dont’ have the right to speak for themselves. they might not want to have to go with this man. but who speaks for their rights. NOBODY!!!! THIS DOES MORE HARM THAN GOOD. BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!!!! THE MOTHER!!!!! people wonder why some children grow up with BAD attitudes. it’s because they are made to go places they don’t want to when they are kicking and screaming and takenaway from their mothers that they don’t want to leave. when a child gets old enough to decide for themselves that’s didderent. A REAL FATHER WOULD NOT DO THIS TO CHILDREN THAT THEY SAY THEY LOVE!!!!! CHILDREN are human beings TOO not just an object. how would you LIKE IT if a court decided your life and you couldn’t speak up for yourself

    Comment by jean white | April 8, 2014 | Reply

  29. I dont usually comment on things but I feel so angry hearing about mothers who use their children as pawns and paychecks! When people decide to divorce its not easy . Not on the person who is initiating it or the spouse being told its over. No one should be forced to stay in a marriage because of children. It is not healthy for anyone especially the kids! Not only are the laws for child support outrageous but alimony support is completely ridiculous! I dont see how any self respecting woman could accept money from a man that she is no longer in a relationship with just because they were married.
    A grown woman should be responsible for herself.

    When I decided to leave my sons father I told him I did not want child support! I wanted him to keep our son for half of the week and I would have him the other half so that our son has a mom and a dad. He is responsible financially for his portion of time with our son and I am responsible for my portion of time. We go in half on things like pictures and daycare. I never wanted a dime from him. I never felt like I was owed anything. What he owes is time and the love of a father to our child. It also makes me mad that when I speak to other single moms they seem to think we are in some sort of special club. They abuse the system. I myself had several opportunities make false allegations or pull the “single mom” card to get more. When I needed assistance from the government told me I did not need a job because my child was so young. They actually wanted to go after my ex for child support unless I said he paid a certain amount out side of court.

    My Fiancee was married for over 15yrs and has four kids that he cannot see without supervision. He provided more for his children then his wife and he is supposed to pay over $3000 a month for child support and alimony. Even after his lawyer proved that it is not possible to pay that amount it did not make a difference. I see how hurt he is everyday by this and it breaks my heart for him and other fathers in his situation.

    Thank you for offering your support.

    Comment by Nicole | June 24, 2014 | Reply

  30. This story is a perfect example of why children need their fathers in their lives. sadly it is to late for Michael,,,,Don’t wait for this to happen to your family ….http://michaelswish.com/

    Comment by Hanny Melinn | October 26, 2014 | Reply


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