NC Grandparent Rights and Child Custody
NC Grandparent Rights is an issue that has heated up lately, so we wanted to write an article that gives our personal thoughts on the issue of grandparents and their rights to minor children after a divorce or relationship breakdown. Before we do, NC Fathers is an organization of non-custodial parents, grandparents, step-parents, and other family members who are trying to reform the family courts for judicial non-discretion equally shared parenting when it comes to custody matters when both parents are fit. You can join our organization’s FACEBOOK PAGE and MAILING LIST after reading our GOALS if you identify with this article. Our organization believes that the current family court system is build around one parent winning custody and control while the other parent loses and becomes marginalized with the system as a mere visitor and payment provider. We believe this has the result of pushing one parent, grandparent(s), and step-parents to the outer margins of their kids lives which creates great divisiveness and leads to increases in domestic violence, fighting, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and eventually very hopeless and sick children. Under an equal system, there would be nothing to fight over, no need for parents to excoriate each other, and parents and grandparents could learn to work together for the betterment of NC children. While we place a lot of impact on parental empowerment, we also realize several areas where grandparent rights do come into play in NC and we will address those below.
NC Fathers does NOT endorse the law firm in this video, it is simply here for educational purposes:
If you are a NC non-custodial parent or grandparent, then it is important that you click on the blue and red graphic below to get a reminder of how divisive the family courts are and how they systematically disenfranchise one side of a family from their children while empowering custodial parents and their extended families. As a NC Grandparent, many times you are seeking rights to your grandchildren because the State of NC made it impossible for the parent in your life to actually be a parent. Many times, we believe there would be no need for grandparent rights if the system empowered both parents instead of trying to push one as far away as possible to feed the industry of rich lawyers, political agendas, and ideology.
NC Grandparent Rights And What We Support For The Best Interest Of Children
- Our organization believes that when one parent dies, the love, support, and importance of grandparents and surviving siblings still remains and often times after one of their parents dies, the other parent has total control to COMPLETELY remove children away from their other family because there is significant ambiguity in NC laws protecting surviving siblings and grandparents.
- When one parent meets with incarceration, substance abuse, mental or physical incapacitation, or other impairment, the one parent will move to seek total control of children which has serious implications for the grandparents, step-parents, and siblings of the other parent who is experiencing difficulty. Many times we see where when one parent in incarcerated, the other parent will attempt to start a new life many states away when there is very much a fit, loving, and important grandparent locally who needs to continue that relationship.
- In almost all social services situations where this agency desires to place children with foster parents, or even wants to adopt them out, we believe that the rights of NC grandparents should be considered above everything else.
- We believe that when one parent meets with a restraining order or other domestic violence situation, the rights of grandparents to have visitation and decision making ability should remain intact.
- NC Fathers believes that when BOTH parents have been found unfit, that BOTH grandparents in NC should have equal visitation (when applicable) and decision making ability before social services and the courts feed the adoption industry.
Where we DO NOT believe in NC Grandparent rights, is when a grandparent fights a FIT parent because he/she believes that the grandparent is the better parent as this just gives ammunition to the other parent to seize on this breakdown and move for complete control.
What are your thoughts on the rights of grandparents in NC? Use the comment system below to let us know your thoughts even if you do not agree with us. Also, please consider sharing this article with other grandparents in NC on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Linkedin so that we can get a good debate going on this issue.
Are you a grandparent in NC who has legal and/or physical custody of a child? We would definitely like to hear from you. Or, if you are a grandparent in NC who has lost contact with a grandchild because of ambiguity in the law then we also would like to hear from you and see your comments.
NC Grandparents at odds with each other over the rights of children of divorce
Each day, we hear from maternal and paternal grandparents who fall victim to the socialization that the family courts in NC have imposed on us where we get contact and comments about how bad the other parent is in an effort to cast themselves in the best light to maintain / achieve custody for their son or daughter and this process is disturbing to us. Before we start talking about grandparent rights in NC, we have to first fix the system by which one parent is pushed to the margins of their kids lives because in reality most grandparent rights are tied to their son or daughter having equal parentage and access to their children. All too often we see maternal grandparents doing everything possible to denigrate fathers and vice versa. This has to stop, but we realize this is how our system is setup. We think that a lot of grandparents do this so that if anything happens to their son or daughter then they will be most favored to win custody of their grandchild(ren) which is unfortunate.
In the comment section below, there is a very good comment by a Mecklenburg County grandparent who hit the nail on the head regarding a loophole in NC law that allows for a grandparent to file for visitation rights after the death of a parent. We often refer to this loophole as the “Family Court Pay Wall” that prevents parents and grandparents from ever seeing their children again if poverty or inability to get funding together to hire an attorney before a malicious parent established consistency for a child. We hope that NC grandparents concerned for their rights will contact their Senators and Representatives today and ask them to close this loophole not only for themselves, but for their sons, daughters, and grandchildren.
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