Posts related to the NC Democratic Party – Representative Susi Hamilton

In the video below, you can view a significant portion of a speech given by President Bill Clinton at the Democratic National Convention in which he addresses equality for African-Americans, Hispanics, Women, and members of the LGBT community, all who for the most part identify Democrat. Continuing with this article, we are going to explore why many in these groups will come into conflict as it relates to family law and the courts which have for a long time been maintained by the Democratic Party and lobby efforts by supporters of this party. I also want to make it VERY clear that this organization does not have a problem with equality for African-Americans, Hispanics, Women, and members of the Gay and Lesbian community. In fact, we advocate strongly for that. But we do have a problem with the fact that, as it relates to family law, NC Democrats seem quite content with throwing Men and Fathers (along with Women in their families and non-custodial Mothers) under the bus when it comes to talking about equal parentage and access to their children. For us, equality is about equality for everyone, not just groups that vote Democrat.

We also want to make it very clear that we are not accusing Democrats for everything wrong with the family law courts because Republicans have just as much culpability. This article simply exists for NC Democrats and their families to use when talking with their Representatives and Senators, especially if they have been pushed to the outer margins of their children’s life after a divorce or relationship breakdown. In our discussions with Democratic lawmakers, we have talked to a few who actually support equally shared parenting like Senator Daniel Clodfelter and we are sure there are others. In the same vein, we have talked to Democrats in the NC General Assembly who we feel, if they had a choice, Fathers would never see their children.

NC Democrats, Equality, and The Family Courts

While there are people and groups that disagree, most everyone in NC agrees that the family courts very much favors Mothers when it comes to child custody, and sees Fathers as the ones who work to provide for their children. And, it is this reason why many believe Fathers should not have custody (or equal custody) of their children. Of course, while this may have been appropriate many decades ago, there are just as many Mothers who are working full-time jobs in 2013 as Fathers. And while many will say that Mothers should not lose custody of their children because of career advancement, these same groups sure do advocate that for Fathers. This has been the narrative played out when we talk to NC Democratic Representatives and Senators.

Our organization does not believe that Women should be losing custody or their children, we believe that they and the courts should be developing a plan by which both parents can put aside their differences and work together as equal parents along with their extended families to provide healthy amounts of support, love, nurturing guidance, and growth that no State or Federal Government will ever be able to achieve.

NC Democrats and Women

As stated earlier, when we talk to Democrats in NC, we hear many talk about Women’s and Mother’s Rights and we agree. Women and Mothers are very much needed in their kids lives and when non-custodial Mothers find their way to our organization, we advocate very hard for them. But what is missing, is the talk about the importance of Fathers and WOMEN in paternal families like step-mothers, grandmothers, female siblings, and aunts who bring tremendous amounts of support and love to children that they are related to by paternity. Why are these Women consistently thrown under the bus by the NC Democratic Party in the name of equality? Why do these Women only have the opportunity to do this four days a month?

In the game of sexual and gender politics, many people forget that Women birth many Male children who we suspect that they love and want the best possible life for. In the movement for equality for Women, are we sure that we are not putting a barrier in front of Women’s sons when they become Fathers and experience divorce which will likely lead to their marginalization? And where will these now marginalized paternal grandmothers be when they talk about his right to be an equal parent?

Another group of Women the NC Democratic Party is overlooking in their refusal to discuss family court reform, is non-custodial mothers. Of course, we suspect that many in this party will advocate for a system where no mother is ever a non-custodial parent for ANY reason, but the reality is that many are. If inequality is wrong for Fathers under this system, it is also wrong for Mothers who lose custody of their children. Again, we are talking about equality here, not Fathers gaining the upper hand in custody battles. The fix to family law for the Democratic Party in NC is not to create more custodial fathers to even out the clear bias, the fix is to empower BOTH parents and ending the system of the courts that encourages and mandates fighting.

The NC Democratic Party And Fathers

In the convoluted world of politics, many believe that Men usually vote Republican and that Women vote Democrat, but this is just not the case. There are MANY NC Democratic voting Fathers and Mothers, and Women in their extended families, who are experiencing devastation in the family courts almost hourly in North Carolina. With this in mind, we have to wonder why these Women and Men are NOT talking frankly with Democratic lawmakers about equality when Democrats make it one of their biggest talking points?

And what about African-American and Hispanic Fathers and Women in their families? What happens when these families experience inequality in the family courts and fail to recognize that NC Democratic lawmakers have their heads in the sand on this issue?

NC Democratic Party and the LGBT Community

Gay Marriage is not only a NC debate, it has clearly become one that Americans are going to be asked to either oppose or defend in the very near future. And, NC Democrats have  solidly said that as a party, they support and advocate for the same rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered persons in marriage that heterosexual citizens enjoy.

And our group is completely neutral on this subject.

However, equality in the family courts is something that, once gay marriage is defined and becomes reality, members of the LGBT community will quickly face. What is going to happen when two women are LEGALLY married, and they either adopt a child, or one of them birth a child from a donor and they decide to divorce? Who gets custody in this case? Will Democrats continue to advocate that the birth mother retain custody, and the Woman who did not birth the child be marginalized like non-custodial families experience in the family courts? Or, will Democrats come out in favor of equally shared parenting because this is a Women’s Rights issue? If the later is the case, how will Men in the Democratic Party react?

What about when legally married Gay Men adopt a child, or find a surrogate to birth the child? In this case, things get even more complex. Will Democrats side with the Woman who birthed the child over the Men who have long supported the party? How will Democratic lawmakers decide which Man gets custody of the child given the historical stance that Men should not have custody of their children? If Democrats come out in favor of Men gaining custody of the children, what happens if the birth mother decides she wants to keep the child? What happens if these Men divorce? How will heterosexual Democrats in NC deal with the party advocating for shared parenting in Gay Marriage but no heterosexual marriages?

Again, this is not an argument against Gay Marriage, we are just pointing out emerging complications where inequality in the family courts that proponents have long advocated for is going to come back and hurt them.

NC Democratic Voters Who Support Equally Shared Parenting Need To Talk With Their Lawmakers and Party Officials

As we have just shown, inequality in the family courts, a position that NC Democrats favor, is affecting hundreds of thousands of Men and Women, and it is about to affect hundreds of thousands more when Gay Marriage is realized in our State. If the party of equality is serious about their stance, then it is time they come out and support equality across the board especially with regards to the family courts and child custody.

We believe family law reform for equally shared parenting is an issue that affects every person on this planet in some form or fashion. It affects people from EVERY single racial and cultural background, socioeconomic status, educational level, gender and identification of gender, and political party affiliation. However, for some reason, the issue of equality in the Family Courts of NC has been an easy one for NC Democrats because they just decided in favor of whichever group supports them or their ideology and this article should lay to rest that unfortunate decision. If you are a Democratic voter, and you love your children but have been pushed to the margins of their life because of the family court process that chooses one parent over the other (or you are a member of the family that got hit by proxy), then it is time you have serious talks with the party you support.

If you identify with this article, then we hope you will extensively share it with friends and family on the popular social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and Linkedin because we do value and enjoy hearing support or dissent on the issues we discussed in this article. Additionally, please consider using the comment system below to leave your most thoughtful comments on this issue. When submitting comments, please tell us what NC county you reside in and what efforts your local party are doing to end the damaging and divisive family courts. As always, we would love to hear from party officials in the NC Democratic Party.

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Learn More About The <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/19/nc-democratic-party-and-equality">NC Democratic Party</a> and Equality.

Posts related to Republican Senator Warren Daniel – Judge Gary Dellinger, Cleveland County Department of Social Services, Senator Richard Burr

Family values? Rights of the people to be free of oppressive government control? I wonder if Burke and Cleveland County non-custodial families agree with this campaign message from Warren Daniel?

As an attorney, Senator Warren Daniel knows very well how destructive the family courts are to Burke and Cleveland County NC children and the relationship they have with their non-custodial family. While the Senator may disagree with this assertion, it is likely that non-custodial families will not and that is what is important here. If you are in a Burke and Cleveland County NC family and need a reminder of what Judges and Legislators ask you to live with for 21 years, then we encourage you to click on the red and blue graphic below and we would love to see your comments using the form below this article.

It is also important to remember that the Senator, as an attorney, is a member of the ultra powerful NC Bar Association that is steadfastly opposed to equally shared parenting and who believes that the position you are in is just fine with them.

Republican Senator Warren Daniel, The Burke and Cleveland County NC Family Courts And You

First and foremost, as an attorney, NC Fathers encourages Senator Daniel to explain to county families how it is that Legislators and Judges advocate for a system that pits two parents against each other in a court of law, encourages them to excoriate each other in an attempt to win custody and control, takes $20,000 from each parent in the process (twice over 18 years), and lives with themselves knowing that this money could go towards starting a business, medical expenses, college tuition, or for a down payment on a home?

Often, opponents of shared parenting will say that this arrangement will cause greater conflict between parents, but the above question contains enough conflict potential than anything we can imagine. Senator Daniel, would you rather see $80,000 dollars go to children or lawyers?

Other issues Senator Warren Daniel and Senate Republicans must address regarding the NC Family Courts:

• Senator Daniel, the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence claims that only men and fathers are responsible for sexual and physical abuse of wives, former wives, and children and this is a good reason to deny fathers equal parentage and access to his children. Yet, they are fine with fathers having visitation with their children. Can you explain how 4 nights a week is a magical number that prevents fathers from killing their ex-wives and children? And if the patriarchal rants of gender and sexual politics coming from this organization is correct, are you and other male legislators also wife beaters and child molesters? Or, is it possible this organization excludes you and your sons because they need your votes?
• NC Fathers encourages Senator Warren Daniel to explain to Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial families why their sons go to jail and are excoriated on the public Internet for being deadbeat fathers when they have tough economic times, yet custodial parents are able to escape this via social services educational assistance, job assistance, daycare assistance, food assistance, daycare assistance, medical assistance, housing assistance and tax credits? Senator, would it not make more sense to either create a system by which both parents are empowered for the good of their children, or help offset the need for all these assistance programs by allowing the non-custodial parent and extended family to provide these services naturally?

• Republican Senator Warren Daniel will be told that we cannot have shared parenting because there are powerful women’s rights groups that have enormous power in the NC General Assembly. Senator, have you considered grandmothers, aunts, and step-mothers in non-custodial families? What about non-custodial mothers? Have you considered that every mother in Burke and Cleveland County NC who has a male child will one day be marginalized as a paternal grandmother when these same organizations need for her son to be stereotyped as an abuser? This seems like a lot of women to us Senator.
• Senator Daniel, how is it that our State Legislators and Judges continue to talk about the “absent parent” problem that we supposedly have in this state, yet each day in the Burke and Cleveland County family courts Judges allow custodial parents to move children many states away from non-custodial families who are active to the extent Judges will allow them?
• Does Senator Warren Daniel realize that there are tens of thousands of parents who come home daily to find their spouse has decided to leave a marriage and under NC law, that parent does not have to allow the other parent to EVER see his children again unless he can come up with $20,000 to exercise his rights? What happens to those parents who don’t have that money Senator? And you are fine with this? Have you talked with Senate Republicans about this? We see where you sponsored bill S41 which honored boy scouts, but you won’t sponsor a bill that protects a parent from this family court pay wall?
• Senator Warren Daniel and Republican lawmakers need to realize that we are tired of being triggers for increased federal and state money through collection of child support. Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial families should realize that for every dollar collected in child support, the federal government gives make an equal match of Title IV-D money that can then be used to replenish welfare expenditures. To us, it seems like the State of NC and lawmakers have developed a system why which one family is purposefully pushed to the outer margins of the kid’s lives in order to increase federal support payments which triggers greater funding for the State. For every non-custodial parent who pays $800 a month in child support via enforcement, the federal government gives back Burke and Cleveland County $800 to pay for food stamps, WIC, and other social services programs. We are not opposed to these services, we just don’t think pushing parents to the outer margins of their kids lives is appropriate to obtain funding for these programs.

Republican Senator Warren Daniel versus Cleveland and Burke County NC Non-Custodial Families

Senator Warren Daniel should see the message that we sent on 5/18/2013 to our 6,000 member mailing list and growing social media channels:

“There are a LOT of lawyers in NC who have united around the NC Bar Association (lobby group) who has a direct impact on legislation that keeps your families marginalized, disenfranchised, and socialized into the role of a visitor to your children assuming your even allowed that. Unfortunately for this lobby of lawyers, the number of voting non-custodial families in just ONE NC county equals every lawyer in this state. Add in non-custodial families from the other 99 counties and we will have legislators emailing us daily wanting to talk reform. Also, keep in mind that there are lawyers in NC who do support equally shared parenting. The tide is turning, but we have to keep the pressure on. Invite just one non-custodial family member to our organization daily.”

We realize that the Senator will immediately recognize the issues we discuss in this article as uncomfortable and unpopular topics especially with colleagues that make so much money from the system. But Senator Daniel, what happens when Burke and Cleveland County non-custodial family voters ALONE equal every lawyer in this State? And, since we are the only organization advocating for these issues, we are finding that our network is growing at an astounding rate.

If you are a Burke and Cleveland County NC non-custodial step-parent, parent, grandparent, aunt or uncles, or possibly even just a friend of the family who sees what they endure daily, then we encourage you to share this article on Senator Warren Daniel with other NC families using Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and Linkedin to help gain maximum exposure.

Additionally, we think it is vitally important that you use the comment system below to leave your personalized comments to the Senator and his staff so they have a good idea of the numbers of voters these issues hit.

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Please Ask <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/18/republican-senator-warren-daniel-burke-cleveland-county-nc-families">Senator Warren Daniel</a> to urge NC lawmakers to bring about Family Court Reform in Burke and Cleveland Counties.

Posts related to Republican Senator Harry Brown – Onslow County Department of Social Services, Judge Sarah Seaton, Sheriff Ed Brown

If you are a Onslow or Jones County non-custodial parent, step-parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, or friend of the family who witnesses the sever conflict the family courts creates for children and the relationship with their non-custodial family, then we urge you to click on the red and blue graphic below to read a list of significant issues Senator Harry Brown and the Republican Party needs to address. NC Fathers wants to make it painfully clear to the Senator that given the divorce rate and rate at which parents are creating children out of wedlock, along with the numbers of people experiencing social services abuse, that these families make up an incredible amount of voters in Onslow and Jones County NC. We realize that many of the issues discussed in this article will not be easy fixes, and nor will they be popular, but this organization is the only united front advocating for the families and we are quickly building our numbers. At some point Senator, we will have amassed a large number of very angry people who have experienced historical bias in our court system and we will direct them to you to ask why this system was allowed to prosper.

Republican Senator Harry Brown and the Onslow / Jones County NC Family Courts

Below is a list of issues that we are calling on Senator Harry Brown to address with the Judiciary members of the NC Senate as it relates to Family Law reform, more social services oversight, and equally shared parenting.

• Senator Brown and Republican lawmakers need to realize that we are tired of being triggers for increased federal and state money through collection of child support. Onslow and Jones County NC non-custodial families should realize that for every dollar collected in child support, the federal government gives make an equal match of Title IV-D money that can then be used to replenish welfare expenditures. To us, it seems like the State of NC and lawmakers have developed a system why which one family is purposefully pushed to the outer margins of the kid’s lives in order to increase federal support payments which triggers greater funding for the State. Every non-custodial parent who pays $800 a month in child support via enforcement, the federal government gives back Onslow and Jones County $800 to pay for food stamps, WIC, and other social services programs.
• Since social services in Onslow and Jones County is the recipient of huge amounts of federal money that keeps jobs and programs alive, we feel that there is a wide open door of abuse that happens on non-custodial families so that we continue to trigger money for them, or for them to create problems and get increased amounts of money. Historically, social services has been very service driven with custodial families in providing educational assistance, food assistance, housing assistance, daycare assistance, job assistance, financial assistance, medical assistance, and programs to make sure they have an easier time maintaining stability while non-custodial families only have the option of jail when they need assistance. This system by which only ONE side of a child’s family is helped by Onslow and Jones County is sick Senator Brown. Furthermore, the absolute immunity social services workers have who only have four year degrees in any human services field and who have no professional organization oversight is beyond dangerous.
• If Senator Harry Brown and Republican lawmakers do inquire about the issues contained in this article, they will be told that equally shared parenting creates greater conflict in kids lives when you put parents who cannot get along together more often. This Senator, is a myth, and it only takes common sense to realize this. When one parent realizes that a divorce is about to happen, and that he will likely lose any custody battle, that his kids will likely be moved 7 states away, and that he will only be able to see them four days a month or summers, and that the family dog will have more ability to raise his children than he will, this creates far greater conflict, domestic violence, and murder/suicides than equality will. In fact, the “one parent win, one parent lose” system of our current family law process demands that parents do the most incredible things to excoriate the other parent in hopes of winning custody and control of children. Therefore, we really do not want to hear about conflict and how reform will cause more.
• Senator Harry Brown will also be told that with equally shared parenting, more children will be sexually and physically abused by their fathers. Here is the problem with this line of thinking, if a father is going to physically or sexually abuse his child, he can do so even if he only has one hour of visitation a month. There is nothing magical about four days a month that prevents fathers from killing their children. And, of course this assumes that mothers do not physically abuse their children. Why are fathers being held to a standard that mothers are not?
• Republican Senator Harry Brown will be told that we cannot have shared parenting because there are powerful women’s rights groups that have enormous power in the NC General Assembly. Senator, have you considered grandmothers, aunts, and step-mothers in non-custodial families? Have you considered that every mother in Onslow and Jones County NC who has a male child will one day be marginalized as a paternal grandmother when these same organizations need for her son to be stereotyped as an abuser? This seems like a lot of women to us Senator.
• Senator, did you know that the average cost of a custody battle is $20,000 per parent and that parents fight two of these battles in 18 years for a grand total of $80,000? And this does not include minor child support and contempt battles that increases this figure well above $100,000. Clearly, lawyers make a lot of money when parents fight for 18 years, the problem is that children lose. Would you rather see this money go to lawyers, or Onslow and Jones County kid’s college educations, a down payment on a home, money to start a business, or medical coverage for children?
• We wonder if Senator Harry Brown has any idea that thousands of Onslow and Jones County NC families never see their children again after a divorce because they do not have the ability to get $20,000 in cash to hire an attorney to secure visitation after one parent leaves a marriage or relationship and refuses to allow the other parent to see his/her child unless a Judge says so. NC Fathers believes that this one issue is more dangerous than any issue discussed in the General Assembly in the past five years.

Republican Senator Harry Brown and Onslow / Jones County NC Non-Custodial Family Voters

In Onslow and Jones County, there are tens of thousands of non-custodial parents, and when you add in the immediate family, we believe that this number jumps to a very large amount of voters. If united and using your voices and votes to have a talk with Senator Harry Brown, you can change your role as court ordered visitor to your children to that of equal parent (and family) with equal ability to nurture, love, and raise your children as the custodial family has. We know you are feeling this way but have been unable to have your voice heard in these matters because NC Judges seem more concerned about how much child support you pay rather than being directly active in your young loved ones lives. By joining our organization, and inviting one non-custodial family to our organization daily, you can help us change that.

With this said, it is vitally important that you share this article on Senator Harry Brown and Onslow/Jones County NC Republicans on the many social networking sites like Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and Linkedin to bring about maximum exposure. We also encourage you to use the comment system below to leave a message for Senator Brown and his legislative staff.

Lastly, we believe that is it incredibly important that women in non-custodial families get more active in this process as there are very powerful lobby groups using sexual and gender politics who want to make Senator Brown believe that by supporting equally shared parenting, he will be voting against women.

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Please Ask Republican <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/18/senator-harry-brown-and-jones-onslow-county-nc-non-custodial-families">Senator Harry Brown</a> to urge NC lawmakers to bring about Family Court Reform for Onslow County NC Children.

Posts related to Heidi Baur – Onslow County Department of Social Services, Judge Sarah Seaton, Senator Harry Brown, Sheriff Ed Brown

If you read nothing else in this article, if you are a parent in North Carolina, you simply have to read THIS ARTICLE on the Family Court Pay Wall because it is affecting tens of thousands of NC non-custodial parents yearly.

While our organization is primarily a non-custodial family advocate for equally shared parenting where non-custodial parents, step-parents, and grandparents can utilize for our purpose, we do recognize that social services agencies not only in Onslow County, but all across North Carolina engages in conduct that is blatantly illegal and it is likely there is nobody there to help right those wrongs if your experience abuse.

If you are in a Onslow County NC non-custodial family, we encourage you to click on the red and blue graphic below to see if you identify with our exhaustive list of issues we have identified within the NC family courts that needs the attention of NC legislators. If you are tired of being marginalized and disenfranchised in your kids lives whether you are a non-custodial parent, step-parent, grandparent, or other member of the family, and you are tired of being seen important only because you are a payment provider and visitor to your children then this organization is for you.

Heidi Baur, Reform Onslow County Department of Social Services and Child Protective Services Now

In the matter of Shawn Schmidt, Heidi Baur has refused to put her agencies full resources into this non-custodial mother seeing her children in 2070+ days (As of May 2013).

NC Fathers has had contact from many non-custodial parents in Onslow County NC who tell us that social services routinely will tell one parent to do something that many times is against a court order, or there will be consequences. We are aware of no less than 7 cases where Child Protective Services staff told custodial parents to keep a child(ren) from an investigated non-custodial parent, but refused to file for a hearing to ask a Judge to make that order or even bring cases of abuse or neglect. In these matters, social services has elevated themselves to Judges in an obvious attempt to save money. However, as we have been told, Judges in Onslow County will likely overlook this illegality because it is in the best interest of a child. If this is how things work, why do we even need Judges?

While on the subject of “best interest of a child” this statement is often used by social services, Judges, and Legislators when they need society to overlook things because it is keeping children safe, even if these things are illegal or cross serious boundaries. These people love to used children as tools in order to do bad things. We see this over in the middle east all the time where terrorist will put kids in military institutions so that we can’t bomb them because they know it is very easy to say you hurt kids and killed kids.

NC Fathers is aware of pediatricians in Onslow County who have sent letters to Heidi Baur asking her to remove kids after they did investigations and found that parents were engaging in medical neglect.

NC Fathers is aware of Jason Shupe’s social services case hat has been going on for over three years and defies any logic or professionalism and has likely traumatized thier children for many years.

Onslow County NC non-custodial families needs to understand that DSS cannot operate without a budget and a huge part of their budget comes from federal Title IV-D money through collection of child support. For every dollar collected in child support, Onslow County DSS gets back an equal match of money that is then used for this agencies programs, services, staff, and salaries. With this in mind, it is important to remember that social services has a tremendous incentive to see non-custodial families severed from their children so they pay greater child support which triggers more federal money.

Ask Director Heidi Baur what the average educational level of child protective services staff is and you will learn that they only have a 4 yr degree in any human services field, but they are allowed to make very serious decisions, many times clinical decision, that can have extreme consequences for families when biases, ideologies, a need to be a hero, or job justification is an issue. Most professionals that decide matters involving children and families have advanced degrees and professional associations that regulate what they can say and do. But not at social services. They have complete immunity and they have no oversight from regulatory organizations that can remove their licenses if they breach policies and procedures. Since Heidi Baur is solely responsible for her staff, then non-custodial families in Onslow County need to hold her accountable with your elected officials.

NC Fathers is very aware that there are MANY citizens in Onslow County NC who have experienced abuse at DSS, and if you contacted an attorney to stop that abuse, you likely found that none were willing to help because it is not popular to sue a state agency. If you don’t have money to hire a lawyer, DSS does not care, you will never see your children again. If you disagree with DSS, they do not care. If DSS wants to take your kids and adopt them out, or put them in foster care and you are unable to hire an attorney, they do not care. All they care about is staff having jobs, and federal and state money.

If you are not prepared to hold Heidi Baur accountable, and your elected officials accountable, then nobody is going to come to your rescue.

Heidi Baur and Onslow County NC non-custodial families

Onslow County NC non-custodial families represent a HUGE amount of voters that come from every racial and cultural background, educational level, political party, and socioeconomic background that if united would make up the single largest lobby group in NC. And you have good reason to unite. For going on 6 decades the family courts and social services agencies have found ways to monetize a breakdown in families through lawyers making money when parents fight for 18 years, social services staff taking kids to get federal and state money, along with keeping the adoption industry happy. Many people at Onslow County Social Services get involved to be hero’s, or to advance some political or gender ideology. Each day, all social services agencies do the most disgusting things to children and families for job justification and more money and it has to stop. But the only way this will stop is when families in this county unite and start having talks with Director Baur and their elected officials.

If you identify with this article on Director Heidi Baur of the Onslow County NC Department of Social Services, then we ask that you join our organization and extensively share this article on the many social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Linkedin. Additionally, we want to hear from military families at Camp Lejeune who identify with this article because we see an overwhelming number of military personnel who come to us and tell us unbelievable stories that turn out to be true after we get documentation. Heidi Baur can dismiss this article, but you can’t dismiss a unification of families who have experienced social services abuses, and we intend to do this.

If you agree with this article, please share it with Director Baur via her email or her office number: (910) 219-1847 / Heidi_baur@onslowcountync.gov

One thing is for sure, we are going to make sure a Internet search of Director Baur is first and foremost in the search results as it is likely that when people experience heavy handedness with this agency they will search out the Director’s name. And, the writing is on the wall Director, you cannot keep dealing with Onslow County NC families like this agency has an not expect them to fight back.

Now, using the comment system below, what do you want your elected officials to know about Onslow County DSS and their Director?

Please Ask  <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/17/heidi-baur-onslow-county-nc-social-services-director-alert">Director Heidi Baur</a> of the Onslow County Department of Social Services to reform her agency.

NC Fathers does NOT endorse the law firm in this video, it is simply here for educational purposes:

Posts related to NC Grandparent Rights in Child Custody matters – NC Adoption Laws, NC Domestic Violence Industry, Putative Fathers

If you are a NC non-custodial parent or grandparent, then it is important that you click on the blue and red graphic below to get a reminder of how divisive the family courts are and how they systematically disenfranchise one side of a family from their children while empowering custodial parents and their extended families. As a NC Grandparent, many times you are seeking rights to your grandchildren because the State of NC made it impossible for the parent in your life to actually be a parent. Many times, we believe there would be no need for grandparent rights if the system empowered both parents instead of trying to push one as far away as possible to feed the industry of rich lawyers, political agendas, and ideology.

NC Grandparent Rights And What We Support For The Best Interest Of Children

• Our organization believes that when one parent dies, the love, support, and importance of grandparents and surviving siblings still remains and often times after one of their parents dies, the other parent has total control to COMPLETELY remove children away from their other family because there is significant ambiguity in NC laws protecting surviving siblings and grandparents.
• When one parent meets with incarceration, substance abuse, mental or physical incapacitation, or other impairment, the one parent will move to seek total control of children which has serious implications for the grandparents, step-parents, and siblings of the other parent who is experiencing difficulty. Many times we see where when one parent in incarcerated, the other parent will attempt to start a new life many states away when there is very much a fit, loving, and important grandparent locally who needs to continue that relationship.
• In almost all social services situations where this agency desires to place children with foster parents, or even wants to adopt them out, we believe that the rights of NC grandparents should be considered above everything else.
• We believe that when one parent meets with a restraining order or other domestic violence situation, the rights of grandparents to have visitation and decision making ability should remain intact.
• NC Fathers believes that when BOTH parents have been found unfit, that BOTH grandparents in NC should have equal visitation (when applicable) and decision making ability before social services and the courts feed the adoption industry.

Where we DO NOT believe in NC Grandparent rights, is when a grandparent fights a FIT parent because he/she believes that the grandparent is the better parent as this just gives ammunition to the other parent to seize on this breakdown and move for complete control.

What are your thoughts on the rights of grandparents in NC? Use the comment system below to let us know your thoughts even if you do not agree with us. Also, please consider sharing this article with other grandparents in NC on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Linkedin so that we can get a good debate going on this issue.

Are you a grandparent in NC who has legal and/or physical custody of a child? We would definitely like to hear from you. Or, if you are a grandparent in NC who has lost contact with a grandchild because of ambiguity in the law then we also would like to hear from you and see your comments.

NC Grandparents at odds with each other over the rights of children of divorce

Each day, we hear from maternal and paternal grandparents who fall victim to the socialization that the family courts in NC have imposed on us where we get contact and comments about how bad the other parent is in an effort to cast themselves in the best light to maintain / achieve custody for their son or daughter and this process is disturbing to us. Before we start talking about grandparent rights in NC, we have to first fix the system by which one parent is pushed to the margins of their kids lives because in reality most grandparent rights are tied to their son or daughter having equal parentage and access to their children. All too often we see maternal grandparents doing everything possible to denigrate fathers and vice versa. This has to stop, but we realize this is how our system is setup. We think that a lot of grandparents do this so that if anything happens to their son or daughter then they will be most favored to win custody of their grandchild(ren) which is unfortunate.

In the comment section below, there is a very good comment by a Mecklenburg County grandparent who hit the nail on the head regarding a loophole in NC law that allows for a grandparent to file for visitation rights after the death of a parent. We often refer to this loophole as the “Family Court Pay Wall” that prevents parents and grandparents from ever seeing their children again if poverty or inability to get funding together to hire an attorney before a malicious parent established consistency for a child. We hope that NC grandparents concerned for their rights will contact their Senators and Representatives today and ask them to close this loophole not only for themselves, but for their sons, daughters, and grandchildren.

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Why Women Should Support Equally Shared Parenting

Each day, our organization hears from many women who all express outrage with family court officials and legislators who have used the breakdown of marriages and relationships to monetize various agendas, gender and sexual politics campaigns, and for financial interest by organizations that have a interest in two parents fighting for 21 years. The problem is, this fighting is hurting children physically, mentally, and emotionally. With Shared Parenting, kids can continue to receive equal amounts of love, nurturing, guidance, support from both parents and extended families. With Shared Parenting, no longer will the goal be about winning a custody battle where parents do everything possible to excoriate the other parent in order to win; the focus with Shared Parenting will be about teaching parents the only way to a brighter future for children is through learning to work with the other parent and developing a parent plan that is mutually beneficial to everyone.

We want to make this very clear, there are probably more women who support shared parenting then there are men when you consider each time a father is marginalized in the family courts, there are at least two women in his family who will be equally marginalized and hurt in the process. Undoubtedly, it is these women who formed Leading Women For Shared Parenting. If you are a member of our group, we ask that you join this organization and do everything in your power to volunteer and help these group of women and their mission. We ask you to do this for your young loved ones, and we ask you to do this for yourselves because if you are reading this it is likely that you have found yourself alienated from your children by a very divisive family court system that seems to value you only for your financial contribution via a federal enforcement agency rather than your direct impact on your kids, grandchildren, step-children, and nieces and nephews.

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Learn more about the <a href="http://lw4sp.org/">Leading Women For Shared Parenting</a> organization.

If the custodial parent does not have a job, then her child support will also be based on the federal minimum wage figure but it is important to remember that if she has no job, then she is likely getting very significant social services benefits that makes life pretty secure. There is no concern for going to jail, being called deadbeat, or losing her children. On the other side of this coin, this is very much a real possibility for you.

One option you do have if you do have a job and are still having a hard time in paying child support is to get a second job, but with two jobs, it is hard to spend time with you children then isn’t it? By not being able to spend time with your child because of your child support obligation, you will likely then be called a deadbeat parent because you are not seeing them regularly. But then again, your going to be called a deadbeat parent if you can’t pay child support.

It sure would be nice for the court and social services agencies to find a way to equalize the system to where both parents could get help so that they can be the best parents possible who are able to support their children and spend valuable time with them instead of the State of NC making this an option for one parent only.

Not Having A Job And Still Having To Pay Child Support Is A Real Problem For Seasonal Workers And During A Bad Economy

If your community is like where we live in North Carolina, it is largely considered a tourism dependent state especially along our sprawling coast and mountainous regions where very little industry exists. In the winter months and summer months, depending where you live, employers can lay people off for up to 6 months at a time. The problem with then not having a job and having child support payments is that there exists nothing in the enforcement system that takes this into account. The only thing they care about is you paying child support so they can get Title IV-D money and justify their jobs. If you can’t find another job, then you go to jail. It’s that simple. Of course things are not so bleak on the custodial side of this issue. If a custodial parent loses their job, then there is ample and significant social services programs to make sure they stay stable. Another thing that bothers me about this system is that there are agencies who love to gather statistics on non-custodial parents, mostly fathers, who have an interest in making sure dads are cast in the worst light possible. When a dad does not pay child support, or most likely UNABLE to pay child support, it gets tallied in statistics as “men are bad, they WON’T pay child support” that then gets used in public policies to make a very biased family court system.

Another are that gets overlooked in this system is during times where the economy is very bad and many people do not have jobs but are still expected to either maintain multiple jobs and never see their children, or go to jail. Again, custodial parents do not have to worry about this because the system is built around taking care of them.

Are you without a job right now and expected to pay child support? If so, we would like to see you use the comment system below to tell us about your experiences. Additionally, please share this article with others on the many social networking sites for those that may be experiences a loss of a job but is also obligated to pay child support.

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Posts related to District Court Judge Robert Martelle – NC Domestic Violence, NC Adoption Crisis, Deadbeat Dad Myth

To help send our message to Judge Martelle and other District Court Judges in the district that family court reform is greatly needed, we ask that Rutherford and McDowell County non-custodial families click on the red and blue graphic below to see if you recognize any of the major difficulties that Judges ask you to live with for 18 years? Does the custodial parent have to deal with any of these?

Judge Robert Martelle and Rutherford / McDowell County NC Non-Custodial Families

Non-Custodial families in Rutherford and McDowell County NC represents a large number of voters from all political, socioeconomic, and educational background, not to mention racial and cultural background. One of the reasons that non-custodial families have such a hard time in the family courts is that the system is built around one parent being custodial and having control, access to social services benefits and tax incentives while another parent is marginalized so that they pay into the child support system and triggers federal Title IV-D money that helps replenish money the State of NC needs to keep these programs afloat. NC Fathers, in being a past Social Services attorney, would like to see Judge Robert Martelle contact our site and write an article on the relationship to child support, Title IV-D money, and Welfare so that we can ascertain if the goal of the district and family courts is to keep one parent as far away from their children as possible so that the parent pays greater child support which triggers more and more federal money?

NC Fathers would also ask Judge Robert Martelle is he believes that certain groups have found a way to monetize the family courts and domestic violence issue that now needs a steady stream of male abusers coming into the system so that lawyers can bill, special interest groups can get funding, and everyone use this hot button issue to drive political agendas?

As a former social services lawyer, does Judge Robert Martelle now have any concerns that since social services is dependent on Title IV-D and domestic violence money, is there an open door for abuse on Rutherford and McDowell County NC non-custodial families to remain marginalized so that social services jobs and programs can be funded while remaining service driven to custodial families?

NC Fathers would like for Judge Robert Martelle to explain why custodial parents get ongoing educational assistance, job assistance, daycare assistance, housing assistance, medical assistance, financial assistance, and tax incentives to make ends meet while non-custodial families only have jail as an option and are you supportive of Sheriffs in the counties you serve excoriating non-custodial parents on public and permanent websites as bad people because they have problems with poverty while custodial parents escape this public humiliation because of public assistance?

Is Judge Robert Martelle concerned about the family court pay wall that is keeping hundreds of thousands of NC parents and families from their children? Without a doubt, the single most disturbing fact about family law in Rutherford County NC  is that there is a HUGE incentive to alienate a child from another parent. Here is how it happens: One parent decides to leave a marriage/relationship and makes plans while the other parent has no idea. The parent leaving the marriage/relationship contacted an attorney who told them as long as there is no order in place, he/she does not have to allow the other parent to see the child. That parent then leaves the marriage or relationship, likely moves out of state, forcing the other parent to find the other parent, get $7,000 (to start) to retain an attorney, and start the process. For those that CANNOT find this money, they never see their child again or signs an agreement that is not in their/child best interest just to see the child again. Unfortunately, this makes that parent LOOK like a disinterested parent because they signed an agreement assuming the role of marginalized parent. For those that can get access to money, by the time they get their ducks lined up, the alienating parent has established consistency which is a huge part of what Judges use in their decision making process. Judges routinely never look at how consistency was established because they just want to move through the other 30 cases and get home at a reasonable hour. This “pay wall” between parents and children is highly destructive and often times results in domestic violence and/or murder/suicide. NC Legislators and District Court Judges in McDowell County NC really need to hear this scenario from you because it is happening on a very frequent basis daily.

NC Fathers hopes that you will join our organization and continue to help us build a massive organization of NC non-custodial families who use their collective voices and votes to end the divisive family courts and we hope that Judge Robert Martelle will help be a part of this process and end the system where profits is more important that parents and children.

NC Fathers welcomes any comments below to this article from Rutherford and McDowell County NC non-custodial families and District Court officers.

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Posts related to Preponderance of the Evidence, Domestic Violence, and Child Custody issues in the courts – NC Adoption Crisis

If you are a NC non-custodial family member, or someone who wants to help us bring family law reform, then you can help us by joining our mailing list and Facebook page where you will have the opportunity to collaborate and learn more about us and our goals. Additionally, you can learn more about why we want to bring family law reform by clicking on the red and blue graphic below.

Preponderance Of The Evidence and Domestic Violence Cases

Most people who enter begin the process of divorce or a child custody battle are not aware that domestic violence cases are NOT prosecuted under the clear and convincing evidence or innocent until proven guilty standards as we have in the criminal courts. Per NC law and federal law (Violence Against Women Act), Domestic Violence is prosecuted under preponderance of the evidence that states a person in North Carolina can be found guilty of violence in domestic situations ABSENT any evidence or witnesses to the fact, and that all a Judge needs to find is 50.01% likelihood that a incident happened. Additionally, it is also important to note that the definition of domestic violence per NC Bar documentation is “Anything that causes another person to feel threatened, or that their life is in imminent harm or death.” Some examples that qualify for domestic violence is a heated argument where both parties yell and scream at each other, or where one party to the argument slams a door. Each day, people in NC go to jail and lose access to their homes and jobs because they have been found guilty of violence where all they did was scream, slam a door, or some other body language that made the other person FEEL threatened. Furthermore, these statistics get sent to Congress and NC Legislators as another violent statistic and many times we feel that these politicians do not realize that these statistics include inappropriate non-violent displays of anger.

It is also important to realize that domestic violence is a very hot button emotional issue that many groups use to fund their organizations or drive political purposes. Every time we hear that someone has been arrested for domestic violence, especially when they are in a child custody battle, we want to emotionally deal with this and assume they hit or beat someone to death when statistically it is likely they did something that another person just felt was violent. An example to help drive this point home is that 30 minutes after 9/11/2001, if anyone in this country were to yell out in public that the two Muslim standing on a corner were terrorist, there would have been an over reaction and response to their demise because of the emotional related to September 11. But with this in mind, because of the laws surrounding domestic violence, all that is needed to bring a violence charge and restraining order is a feeling that your threatened EVEN IF that person making the claim was mutually involved and screaming at the other person and initiated the fight. Under preponderance of the evidence, the case is going to be decided by a Judge even if there is no evidence or witnesses to abuse, and it is likely that this case will be adjudicated as guilty because Judges typically deal with these cases on the “it’s best to be safe than sorry” principle. Although, it is very important to remember that many Judges and Lawyers sit as board members on domestic violence organizations because it looks good politically, and it looks good for that Judge to appear harsh on domestic violence. As more and more convictions are obtained via preponderance of the evidence, the more they can use this issue to propel their re-elections or political aspirations.

Lawyers are another group that loves preponderance of the evidence because the burden of proof is so low, and the definition of abuse is even lower, that it is usually a very easy matter to deal with in the courts and win a case.

Other groups that benefit from this financially are non-profits who get State and Federal money based on statistics. As long as we have domestic violence, we are going to have politicians throwing large amounts of money at this issue which keeps organizations funded, jobs alive, and political aspirations of these organizations going forward. Many people seem shocked when we say this, but organizations like the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence can’t exists without federal and state money, so they actually need the APPEARANCE of violence to be getting worse. I surely won’t say they enjoy knowing women are being beaten so they can use the statistic to get money, but I will say they LOVE the lowered definition of violence and preponderance of the evidence because it means a lot of statistics that they can push as violence.

We suspect our next assertion will ruffle the feathers of many women, but there is most assuredly a anti-male and anti-father component to domestic violence that is being pushed by radical feminist against your sons, your husbands, your brothers, and your fathers. We are not talking about feminist who want equality for all, we are talking about radical feminist who have a very real hatred for men and who see them all as abusers and oppressors. It is these feminist who are in control of Domestic Violence laws in NC, it is them who got preponderance of the evidence thrown in, and it is them who lowered the definition of violence so low that just about anything can be found to be violence.

Domestic Violence and Child Custody Issues

In just about every child custody case these days, there is an obligatory allegation of violence because the accuser knows it puts him/her in good position to win custody. Because our courts are based upon one parent winning, and the other parent losing, after a divorce or breakdown in a relationship where kids exist, both of the parents NEED the other parent to be the most horrible person on the planet so they can win custody and control. Because lawyers know about preponderance of the evidence and the lowered definition of violence, they many times will encourage their client to file this allegation because it will usually stick and be prosecuted successfully. They do this because in any marriage or relationship, parents will have arguments, they will yell, and they will scream, and they will slam doors. It has gotten so bad, if you are going through a divorce in 2013, and there are kids involved, someone will make an allegation of abuse because it is the perfect tactical weapon. The accuser knows that the accused is now labeled and throwing money at a defense for the domestic violence and not focusing on the child custody issue.

In turn, both lawyers for the accuser and accused know that there will be lots of billable hours in this scenario, and that is will likely go on for many many years.

NC Fathers believes that it is unfortunate that child custody cases have devolved to where parents are doing everything possible to win in a custody matter, and we feel that if equally shared parenting was the gold standard and Judges and Lawyers decided fit on how well one parent includes the other parent in everything, we will see a lot less fighting and healthier kids. Unfortunately, this not sit well with the Family Court lawyers, Judges, and Domestic Violence lobby who have all found a way to monetize this process.

It is very likely that is you are a non-custodial parent, step-parent, grandparent, or some other family member, you are the marginalized family because a false allegation of domestic violence was used as a tactical weapon in a child custody matter where preponderance of the evidence was used to convict you, and from there you were removed from your home, belonging, children, and job which started the process of you throwing tons of money at lawyers. Because you were convicted of possibly slamming a door which caused the other parent to feel threatened, you helped the Domestic Violence lobby send another example of why they need more money to stop this process.

NC Fathers encourages comments using the system below, and we especially want to hear from ALL family members in non-custodial families who have faced the information outlined in this article in a child custody matter. We also hope that you will extensively share this article with your family and friends on Google+, Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks.

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Posts related to the Miller Bowles Law Firm in Charlotte NC – NC Domestic Violence Coalition, NC Lawyers and Child Custody, NC Adoption Crisis

Before we get into the arguments made by the Miller Bowles Law firm regarding Shared Parenting in North Carolina, we invite Charlotte NC non-custodial families to click on the red and blue graphic below to get a reminder of issues NC Judges, Lawyers, and Legislators ask you to deal with on a daily basis and remember these issues when this law firm uses “high conflict” as a reason that shared parenting should not exists in NC. Simply put, the NC Family Courts create FAR greater conflict between parents over 18 years and it is done to keep parents fighting and making lawyers very rich by paying them large retainers every few years trying to gain equality in a system that is built around inequality.

Official Rebuttal Arguments To The Miller Bowles Law Firm in Charlotte NC On Shared Parenting and Senate Bill 610

Before beginning this section, we must state that we agree with Kate Bowles Miller and Christopher Miller on one issue, and that is that Senate Bill 610 is a bad idea. And, it is a bad idea because even if the NC Legislature passes this bill, Judges in North Carolina still have discretion to continue the historical bias and divisiveness in the family courts. Until Judges are stripped of their discretion to alienate and marginalize one parent and extended family from their children there will never be true shared parenting in North Carolina.

In their press release, the Miller Bowles Law Firm stated “In making that determination, the Court must consider all relevant factors, such as acts of domestic violence and the safety of the child.”

The immediate problem with this statement is that while it looks and sounds good, and has the “do it for the children” argument attached to it, the reality is we have examples of custodial parents in the new that are being arrested for domestic violence and who find themselves in DSS court on child abuse, neglect, and dependency. Miller Bowles appears to make the argument that custodial parents are good, and non-custodial parents are bad, and this just is not the case. The reality is, both custodial parents and non-custodial parents are perpetrators of domestic violence and abuse on children. Our belief is that when parents find themselves in situations that lead to domestic violence or abuse of a child, we should do everything possible and provide an avenue for these parents to rehabilitate and then get them back into their child(ren)’s lives as equal parents. Under our current system, there seems to be advocacy for “one mishap, and your out of your child’s life forever.”

Another argument from this law firm – “Based on the evidence presented, the Judge may make an award for child custody as he or she sees fit, as long that award promotes the best interest of the child.”

Unfortunately, Judges in NC are locking themselves daily into a standardized visitation schedule for non-custodial families. The argument above makes it look like Judges are deciding visitation schedules based on individual merits of each case, but that is simply not true. How many of you have the standard visitation schedule of every other weekend? And, as a Charlotte NC family, do you think it’s in the best interest of your child to see your children moved six states away and see them maybe once a year?

Bowles Miller went on to state – “Family law attorneys throughout North Carolina have had strong reactions to Senate Bill 610 and the policies stated therein. According to the attorneys at Miller Bowles Law, while the Bill promotes noble goals, such as uniformity and shared custody, those goals are thought to be lofty and potentially unachievable.”

Some examples that the lawyers at this firm allude to are 1) encourages “both parents to share equitably in the rights and responsibilities of raising their child” even after the marriage or relationship ends. 2) To encourage this policy, the Bill proposes promoting certain ideals, programs, laws, and court practices that encourage and support the maximum participation of a child in the parents’ lives. 3) This presumed shared responsibility standard requires that each parent have as close as possible to an equal amount of time with the child, but not less than thirty-five percent of the amount of time with the child. 4) the proposed State policy also encourages “parents to take responsibility for their child by setting the expectation that parenthood will be a significant and ongoing responsibility requiring the creation of a joint parenting agreement.

The best rebuttal we can think of to this assertion is, how do these lawyers know that these lofty goals can not be achieved? Do they have some empirical evidence from other States that this does not work? Here is the problem for the Miller Bowles law firm, nobody knows for sure that shared parenting does or does not work because it has never been put into practice. Of course, there is ample research that Lawyers and Judges get educated on during retreats that suggest that it does not work, but we surmise that only researchers that advocate against shared parenting get invited to these educational sessions. We would sure like to see Kate Bowles Miller and Christopher Miller’s UNBIASED research on shared parenting and why it does not work.

Miller Bowles went on to state again – “First, every child custody case is unique and distinguishable from another; therefore, uniformity is not a realistic expectation.”

Every time we see this argument, we have to laugh. If you do some consistent research on shared parenting and the American Bar Association’s response to it, you will see lawyers using this exact phrase in almost every article they write. It has clearly been scripted, taught, and is being regurgitated by lawyers who say that uniformity is a bad idea. The problem they have is that what is uniform is the large amount of data coming out that shows every child benefits greatly when they have two very active parents and their extended families at their side nurturing, loving, and supporting them directly. So, we disagree that every case is different. In a large majority of these cases, there is a child who needs and loves both of their parents, grandparents, step-parents, and aunts and uncles. This nurturing, support, and direct love cannot happen from six states away, and it cannot happen 4 days a month.

The lawyers at Miller Bowles stated – “while it is the hope of all involved that the parties will be able to communicate effectively and compromise with regard to the custody of their child, often times that is not the case. Therefore, expecting the parties to create a joint parenting agreement is unrealistic in light of the often contentious nature of child custody disputes.”

If you are a Charlotte or Mecklenburg County NC non-custodial parent, you are well aware that the family courts actually created more conflict than either you or your ex-spouse could ever dream up. Unfortunately, the Charlotte family courts actually encourages conflict because it is setup on a “one parent win, one parent lose” system by which both parents NEED the other parent to be a horrible person so that he/she can get custody and control. There is conflict because these parents are in an arena where only one parent can come out victorious. The minute Judges in NC start deciding custody or shared parenting on how well one parent gets along with the other parent, you will see a LOT of parents busting their tails to get along with the other parent which is good for kids. In short, when there is nothing to fight about, nothing to win or lose, parents will have no reason to fight and there will not be nearly as much conflict.

Lastly, the lawyers at Miller Bowles stated – “While family law attorneys are always striving to ensure the best interest of the child.”

Bull!

Most Family Law attorneys are vested financially in a unequal system by which parents fight like gladiators to keep/lose custody for 18 years and paying lawyers retainer fees. The love the conflict, because it pays the bills. As a Charlotte NC non-custodial family, how much did your child custody battle cost? $10,000? $20,000? And how much did the other parent pay? I suspect about the same. We estimate that parents (from just ONE family) spend on average $80,000 over the life of a minor child in custody, child support, and contempt hearings. With Shared Parenting, and strict words from Judges to either get along and work on a parenting agreement, parents are going to get it together quick and not spending this money with lawyers.

Now, lets talk about “Fit Parents” and Domestic Violence. In their press release, Miller Bowles stated that Senate Bill 610 has the potential to bring conflicted parents together more often and this will lead to more domestic violence.

“…the Bill’s proposed State policy purports to “[e]nsure that a child will have maximum contact with both parents through a presumption of shared responsibility unless it has been established based on a preponderance of the evidence that one of the parents is unfit or obstructs a healthy relationship with the other parent.”

Here is a video that clearly explains preponderance of the evidence in very clear terms. While this video is about medical malpractice, the same standard is applied in Domestic Violence and it clearly shows that absent evidence or witnesses, one can be found guilty simply on “likelihood” that violence existed. This is why just about every divorce and child custody case today involves an allegation of abuse because the burden of proof is so low, it’s almost a given that a Judge will find fault. From this fault, again, with no evidence or witnesses, just the mere word of the accuser who gains big time from the allegation, you can be removed from your home, belongings, kids, lose your job, loss of reputation, and could very well never see your children again. Sounds like serious conflict to us that Miller Bowles is not explaining. And of course, many Judges and Lawyers sit on Domestic Violence organizations boards that continue to get significant money with increased statistics on Domestic Violence. With preponderance of the evidence, it is assured that statistics will continue to rise, thus triggering federal and state money into non-profits.

We would like for Christopher Miller and Kate Bowles Miller to explain how pushing one parent to the far margins of their children’s lives after spending $20,000 with an attorney, seeing their children moved off to another state, or bringing contempt motions over and over regarding visitations orders not being followed, only to have a Judge roll his/her eyes,  is not creating more Domestic Violence?

I imagine once a Divorce or Separation is realized, both parents take on a LOT of anxiety, fear, and depression knowing one of them will not be an equal parent anymore and who will likely not have a say so in how their kids are raised and will essentially become a visitor. We suspect that this then leads to substance abuse and other unhealthy coping skills that culminates in Domestic Violence.

With Shared Parenting, those fears, anxious thoughts, and depression can substantially be lowered. And, I can assure you, if a parent knows that he/she is going to be seeing their children 10-15 days per month after divorce, the last thing on their mind is Domestic Violence.

Miller Bowles Law Firm and Charlotte NC Non-Custodial Families

Another thing the lawyers at Miller Bowles did not comment on is what we call the family court pay wall. Without a doubt, the single most disturbing fact about family law is that there is a HUGE incentive to alienate a child from another parent. Here is how it happens: One parent decides to leave a marriage/relationship and makes plans while the other parent has no idea. The parent leaving the marriage/relationship contacted an attorney who told them as long as there is no order in place, he/she does not have to allow the other parent to see the child. That parent then leaves the marriage or relationship, likely moves out of state, forcing the other parent to find the other parent, get $7,000 (to start) to retain an attorney, and start the process. For those that CANNOT find this money, they never see their child again or signs an agreement that is not in their/child best interest just to see the child again. Unfortunately, this makes that parent LOOK like a disinterested parent because they signed an agreement assuming the role of marginalized parent. For those that can get access to money, by the time they get their ducks lined up, the alienating parent has established consistency which is a huge part of what Judges use in their decision making process. Judges routinely never look at how consistency was established because they just want to move through the other 30 cases and get home at a reasonable hour. This “pay wall” between parents and children is highly destructive and often times results in domestic violence and/or murder/suicide. NC Legislators, Judges, and Lawyers in Charlotte NC  really need to hear this scenario from you because it is happening on a very frequent basis daily.

NC Fathers wants to remind Charlotte NC non-custodial families that you equal a HUGE voting block of very angry parents and extended families who have been reduced to visitor and federally enforced payment providers to your children while lawyers get rich and Judges and legislators use you to push political agendas.

We also want to remind you that you come from every single racial and cultural background, political party affiliation, socioeconomic background, and educational level. The minute that the estimated 5.5 million citizens with direct ties to a non-custodial family unite around a central organization, you will see legislators, judges, and lawyers advocating for a system that keeps you in this predicament with your children.

Additionally, a figure that the lawyers at the Miller Bowles Law Firm can not dispute, non-custodial parents are created almost hourly in the family courts in all 100 counties and we are determined to reach them and unite you so that you can advocate for yourself collectively.

With this information in mind, we again ask that you join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE and begin learning more about how preponderance of the evidence is being used in domestic violence cases to inflate convictions where there was no evidence or witnesses to corroborate violence, but allows a Judge to convict you on “likelihood” rather than innocent until proven guilty. This has lead to MANY of you being non-custodial parents and it has to stop. Furthermore, we need you to realize that the State of NC is generating federal Title IV-D money to replenish social services programs on each dollar collected in child support and how the State NEEDS more and more of you alienated from your children so that you pay greater child support and trigger federal money.

If you identify with this article as a Charlotte NC non-custodial family, we ask that you extensively share this article on sites like Google+, Twitter, Facebook, and Linkedin to bring about the greatest exposure. We also ask Charlotte NC non-custodial families to use the comments section below to tell us your experiences with the Miller Bowles Law Firm, or your experiences in the NC Family Courts.

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Where does the <a href="http://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/miller-bowles-law-firm-in-charlotte-nc-rebuttal">Miller Bowles Law Firm</a> in Charlotte NC stand on shared parenting?