The EXTREME divisiveness of the NC Family Courts

Roughly half of custodial mothers today have male children who will one day be pushed to the margins of their kids lives if they experience a divorce and have children. Where do you think these non-custodial grandmothers (who will also be marginalized as well) will stand then? With Equally Shared Parenting?

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Why are there so many absent Fathers in NC?

NC Coalition on Domestic Violence and your sons, brothers, husbands, and fathers

NC Fathers frequently gets contact from custodial families complaining about our website, and all too often they tell us that the NC Family Courts are NOT divisive and there is equal treatment of both parents and extended families.

While this may be an exercise in futility, here are the MANY issues outlining what we believe is EXTREME divisiveness that alienates children from non-custodial fathers, paternal grandmothers, step-mothers, paternal aunts and uncles, and other family members who EQUALLY get hurt in this division.

It is important to point out that it is usually Legislators and Judges in the Democrat Party of NC Who Are Historically Pro Social Services and Women That Have Created The Climate That is Alienating Non-Custodial Fathers, Paternal Grandmothers, Step-Mothers, Paternal Aunts and Uncles, and Other Females in Non-Custodial Families From Their Children.

NC Family Courts

• Despite NO presumption for who gets custody of a child, mothers continue to get custody 85% of the time according to the Administrative Offices of the NC Courts. Does 85% sound like presumption to you?
• When custodial parents get into financial difficulty, they have access to extensive federal and state housing, educational, medical, job, and financial services. Additionally, filing for IRS earned income credits. When non-custodial parents get into financial hardship, they go to jail.
• Despite many Judges and other agencies screaming about absent fathers, the NC Family Courts still give the majority of fathers 4-5 days a MONTH visitation.
• Despite many Judges and other agencies screaming about absent fathers, the NC Family Courts routinely allow custodial mothers to move children hundreds and even thousands of miles away from non-custodial families.
• In child support enforcement matters, every time there is an issue, the federal office of child support enforcement provides a FREE lawyer for the custodial parent. Non-custodial parents have to secure private attorneys at $5000-$7000 PER INCIDENT.
• Providing that a child is under three years of age, a DIVORCED custodial mother can QUIT work and and go on social services assistance. To help replenish these funds, NC child support enforcement petitions for double and even triple the amount of child support guidelines so that custodial mothers can stay at home with children. NC Father contends that this may work with MARRIED parents, it is bizarre for divorced parents.
• Judges and Legislators in NC routinely say that NO parent is forced to pay money to see their children. Non-Custodial Fathers, Paternal Grandmothers, Step-Mothers, and Paternal Aunts and Uncles ALL over NC understand that it is ROUTINE for custodial parents to keep children from their Fathers UNTIL he is forced to spend $5000 with an Attorney to get minimal visitation in the Courts.
• Paternal Fraud. We have followed several cases where women named a father after having a child, and the fathers did not question it because they were happy. In these cases, SEVERAL YEARS passed and the fathers filed for custody or to modify for greater visitation and the mothers then said the fathers were not the kids fathers. In all cases, it turned out they were right, and destroyed the non-custodial family and most likely the kids. Judges and Legislators REFUSE to prosecute mothers for this fraud.
• There should never be a pay wall between kids and parents. Typically after a separation a mother will leave with the children and not allow any contact between Fathers and Children. For people who do not have $7,000+ dollars to hire an attorney, they never see their kids again.

NC Child Support Enforcement

Thought child support enforcement was ONLY about financial assistance to children? WRONG!

• According to Section 458 of the Social Security Act Title IV Part D which is entitled “INCENTIVE payments to States”, the FEDERAL government gives ALL US States TWO dollars for EVERY ONE dollar collected in child support that can then be used to replenish low income assistance programs at social services. This means that for every non-custodial parent paying $400 dollars a month to child support enforcement, the federal government is giving the State of NC back $800 to use for OTHER PEOPLES low income assistance. Sounds like Revenue huh? More on this HERE. So where does INCENTIVE fit in? Does this have anything to do with low visitation awards from politically motivated Judges so that child support payments can be maximized, and thus federal funding for social services lobbyist who have enormous power over NC Judicial elections?
• Purposeful Stigmatization and Ostracism by the Federal Government on NC Non-Custodial Families
• Here is a government contractor building a high tech software program for NC child support enforcement? Any idea how much it cost to research, develop, train, implement, and run quality control on this large of a software program? We suspect easily many millions. Since they are seeking Title IV-D money, this means that non-custodial families child support payments is the primary funding for this. More aggressive child support enforcement measures and less visitation awards anyone?

How Do You Feel Knowing That Democratic Lawmakers and Judges in NC have devised a system that helps Welfare and Low Income Assistance Recipients Have An Easier Time Enjoying And Raising Their Kids While You Are Alienated From Yours And Treated Like a Second Class Visitor Family Who Only Deserves 4 Days Visitation With Their Kids? Angry knowing that your Child Support Efforts Are Making This Happen?

Why are NC non-custodial families paying for low income assistance for OTHER PEOPLE, and putting food on plates of software developers? Does this open the door for major bias and abuse from social services since they NEED us for funding?

Are non-custodial fathers akin to International drug dealers and organized crime bosses? Be sure that there are FEDERAL ENFORCEMENT agencies watching out for these individuals (DEA & FBI). Why are non-custodial men put into a FEDERAL ENFORCEMENT PROGRAM simply for not being ALLOWED to have equal custody? Is this a stigmatization technique?

Why do we see the term “Deadbeat Dad” used so frequently of NC Sheriff’s, Judges, and State Websites? Why are they so quick to use this highly politically correct and derogatory term for fathers, but you WILL NEVER see the “N Word”, “Medicaid Mom”, or “Spick” on ANY elected officials website or State sanctioned website? We figured by age… oh say 12 that most people recognize that using derogatory terms for other groups of people is immature and solves nothing.

Domestic Violence

NC Fathers believes that the NC Family Courts are fueling Domestic Violence. When 85% of women get custody, we believe that every non-custodial family member KNEW before court that they were going to be leaving that day as a non-custodial visitor family and that pets in the custodial mother’s home were going to have greater access to our children then we were. As a result, we believe that men endure bad marriages rather than seeing our children leave our lives. Anyone that has been in a bad marriage knows that it is not pleasant, and there is a lot of frustration, anger, resentment, sadness, and depression that results from choosing between living in a bad marriage and continuing a normal relationship with our children. Unfortunately, this setup always leads to a flash point.

According to the “Violence Against Women Act” (VAWA) – Domestic Violence IS defined as slamming a door, yelling and pointing a finger, or shouting loudly. Commit one of these offenses, and you are immediately removed from your home, jailed, and prevented from returning for up to a year. Additionally, you are prevented from contact with your children.

Now, if a woman slams a door, points and finger and screams, or shouts loudly at a man, call the police or go to a magistrate and see what happens.

Be sure that there are MILLIONS of cases in the US where men lose jobs, custody, and their homes for slamming a door because politically motivated Judges DARE NOT cross Domestic Violence lobbyist who have a MAJOR impact on funding of elections.

Are we sure that hopeful custodial mothers do not use this hot button social issue and make FALSE allegations because crafty lawyers told them that if they could recall a time when “he yelled loudly and slammed a door” we can get sole custody and likely unequal distribution of community property”?

ABC News even did a piece on this, if they get it, how come NC Judges don’t get it?

No divisiveness huh? Any questions?