NC Fathers Rights

Senator Thom Goolsby – Republican New Hanover County

Republican Senator Thom GoolsbyThe intent of this article is to get Republican Senator Thom Goolsby of New Hanover County to understand issues non-custodial parents and families of these parents have in dealing with the New Hanover Family Courts. Before we begin our article, we want Senator Goolsby to understand that our issue is not related to not wanting to be financially responsible for our children. We believe that both parents should be equally responsible for raising children. However, what we do want Senator Goolsby to understand is that the New Hanover County Courts and Child Support Enforcement is setup to only address one issue in a child’s life and that is money. We believe that empowering BOTH parents to be equal gives children greater opportunities and resources that child support enforcement could ever hope to give. What does child support enforcement do Senator Goolsby that non-custodial grandmothers, parents, aunts, and uncles do everyday? The answer is nothing.


All New Hanover County Family Court Issues

Nothing from Senator Thom Goolsby on the ability for New Hanover County NC children to have two equal parents and extended families in the 2013 Legislative Session

We also want to remind Senator Thom Goolsby that in New Hanover County, given the divorce rate of 52%, non-custodial parents make up just under half of the voting population in New Hanover. When you add just one strong non-custodial family member to this figure, this statistic jumps up well over three quarters of the population. We are asking non-custodial family members and parents to remember this when talking with Senator Goolsby.

Contact Senator Thom Goolsby today and ask him and other Senate Judiciary Members to vote YES on the Shared Parenting bill before the Senate in 2013.

Senator Thom Goolsby and New Hanover County Voters

Posts related to Senator Thom Goolsby of New Hanover County NC: Representative Daniel Mc Comas, Representative Carolyn Justice, New Hanover County District Court, New Hanover County Department of Social Services

Issues we want Senator Thom Goolsby to understand when it comes to child support and child custody in New Hanover County:

  • Senator Goolsby, we understand that there are non-custodial parents who are not active physically or financially in their lives and we strongly advocate for enforcement in these situations. Undoubtedly, these parents receive all of the media attention. However Senator Goolsby, there is a much larger segment of parents and extended family members who do want to be active in their children’s lives, both physically and financially, and are denied by the family courts. Why do the New Hanover family courts continue this parental warfare where one parents is awarded physical custody of a child, financial awards, tax incentives, and state assistance when needed, and the other parent is denigrated to a visitor role four times a month? Why are we denying these parents the right to have equal access and parenting roles, then putting them in an enforcement situation with a federal agency?
  • We ask Senator Goolsby to respond to the fact that NC Child Support Enforcement is a massive federal agency that generates revenue for the State of NC in the form of incentive payments from the federal government each year if States collect MORE child support. What is the the relation to MORE child support and LESS visitation by non-custodial parents Senator Goolsby? For many New Hanover County non-custodial parents, this seems like an incentive for the state to diminish their role in a child’s life so that this revenue stream can continue. In addition, drawing your attention to this website:, how much Title IV-D money is it going to cost to build this software system and why would it not benefit children more to develop a system that rewards two parents for getting along for the betterment of their child and giving both parents equal access? Does Senator Thom Goolsby think that a software system gives greater opportunities for children than non-custodial parents, grandparents, step-parents, aunts, uncles, etc… ?

Senator Goolsby, we are not even going to go into the fact that the New Hanover NC Family Courts continue to allow custodial parents to move children hundreds of miles away from non-custodial parents each and every day. Or the fact that custodial parents get FREE legal care with enforcement while non-custodial parents and families have to secure private lawyers with $5,000 retainers. Or that custodial parents receive federal/state assistance, tax incentives, educational assistance, medical assistance, and job assistance when they have a hard time making ends meet financially, while non-custodial parents go to jail when they have the same hard time.

The issue that we want Senator Thom Goolsby of New Hanover County to understand is that there is so much media coverage about “Deadbeat Parents” these days, but given the data can you understand why Senator?


Senator of NC

Roughly half of custodial mothers today have male children who will one day be pushed to the margins of their kids lives if they experience a divorce and have children. Where do you think these non-custodial grandmothers (who will also be marginalized as well) will stand then? With Equally Shared Parenting Senator Goolsby?

Thom Goolsby

Senator Goolsby, why are we creating an incredible dichotomy between two parents and then publicly ostracizing the non-custodial parent as a “Deadbeat” and relegating them to an enforcement agency that is built around money for children, money for the State, and money for government contractors?

Will Senator Thom Goolsby of New Hanover County, NC Respond to Area Non-custodial Families?

Again, going back to our earlier assertion that non-custodial parents and their families are one of the single largest swing votes in North Carolina. The issues above affect people across all gender, racial, and socioeconomic boundaries. We will be happy to send Senator Goolsby emails we receive from African American grandmothers, Caucasian Fathers, Step-Mothers, Hispanic Uncles if needed. Regardless, it is important to understand that the Family Courts in New Hanover County are historically biased and centered around separating parents for the greater good of special interest groups that benefit financially and we are asking you to remember your voting numbers for Senator Goolsby.

Be sure that we will contact Senator Thom Goolsby on this issue and let New Hanover County Non-Custodial families know where he stands on this issue.

New Hanover County NC Republican Party

Senator Thom Goolsby FAILS to respond to New Hanover County Non-Custodial Families

Over the past few weeks, we have attempted to contact Senator Thom Goolsby for some simple answers to the issues non-custodial families in New Hanover County face each and every day that are keeping you alienated from your children and prevent you from equal parenting. We attempted to contact the honorable Senator using his social networking streams and legislative email and he has yet to respond to you. We think this is pretty shocking given that he is a father and must understand his importance in his childrens lives, but seemingly does not seem concerned that you are PREVENTED from seeing and parenting your children equally. Is Senator Goolsby more interested in the money generation from child support enforcement and his lawyer friends staying rich on your backs to respond?

In November of 2012, NC Fathers emailed Senator Thom Goolsby about a custodial father in New Hanover County who contacted our organization regarding being owed roughly $8000 in child support arrears, and who cannot get child support enforcement to pursue the non-custodial mother. Senator Goolsby and others should immediately recognize that there are fathers in jail for MUCH less child support arrears. I guess in NC, not only are you denied equal parentage and access to your children 85% of the time, but if you are lucky enough to get custody the message clearly being sent is that if you are a father receiving child support don’t expect enforcement to help you.

Senator Goolsby, is child support enforcement only interested in child support collection for women?

Update June 1, 2013 – NC Fathers has attempted to contact Senator Thom Goolsby many times on the issues discussed in this article, as have many of our supporters. Our organization can officially say that the Senator absolutely has no interest in New Hanover County non-custodial parents, step-parents, and grandparents having equal parentage and access to their children.

NC Fathers believes that since Senator Goolsby refuses to even contact us back regarding this case, he has no interest in New Hanover County NC non-custodial parents, step-parents, other members in non-custodial families, OR custodial fathers. If you identify with this article, please consider joining our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE where you will have the opportunity to share your thoughts on Senator Thom Goolsby.

Show Support by Copying and Pasting the code below to your Website or Blog:

Help ask <a href="">Senator Thom Goolsby</a> to bring Shared Parenting to New Hanover County's children.

October 25, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,


  1. I understand that Senator Thom Goolsby heads up the Senate Judiciary Committee which is trying to kill a shared parenting bill. If the Senator does it, it will be a slap in the face of tens of thousands of fathers and women in New Hanover County NC and I hope this site gets in touch with them all.


    Comment by Tim and Karen Sutherland (New Hanover County NC Father and Step-Mother) | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  2. Are you kidding me? You expect Senator Goolsby to reform the family courts when he makes so much money from retainers in family law?


    Comment by Jack | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  3. I hope that New Hanover County NC non-custodial families, which must be a lot of people contact Senator Thom Goolsby and demand family court reform and stop placing fathers importance as payment providers instead of active fathers.


    Comment by Karen (New Hanover County Step-Mother) | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  4. Senator Thom Goolsby, I am a Wilmington Father who has desperately for going on 6 years now tried to see her more through increased visitation and Judge Noecker refuses. I have no Domestic Violence or abuse history and she lives just two blocks from me. Can you tell me why we excoriate fathers who want nothing to do with their children AND excoriate ones that do want to be with their children?


    Comment by Jose (New Hanover County Father) | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  5. I voted for the Senator each time he ran for office, and I just learned today via this website that the Senate is killing a bill that would mean I have more time with my daughter. I can tell you this, Senator Goolsby will not get another vote from me if this happens.


    Comment by Thomas Macklin (New Hanover County Father) | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  6. Just got the message on the mailing list that Senator Goolsby is stalling on the Senate Bill that would bring equally shared parenting to New Hanover and NC Fathers. You have my utmost respect and support and I urge him to ratify this bill.


    Comment by David Gager (New Hanover County Father) | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  7. Another New Hanover County NC Father and family who is watching the shared parenting bill closely. Ratify this bill Senator Goolsby!


    Comment by Jim Jenkins | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  8. Senator Thom Goolsby must do something about false allegations of domestic violence that mothers use in the family courts. We need strong domestic violence laws but I understand there can be no evidence for fathers to be convicted.


    Comment by Guermo Galeos | April 24, 2013 | Reply

    • Guermo, what you are referring to is that Domestic Violence in New Hanover County (and all other NC counties) is handled under what is called preponderance of the evidence rather than innocent until proven guilty and you are correct, there need not be any evidence or witnesses to be convicted. This has fostered a culture of false allegations especially in the family courts which lawyers love because it means more billable hours. Surely, as a lawyer, Senator Goolsby knows this.


      Comment by stompkinsnc | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  9. Just saw the post on the mailing list and Facebook page, I too am reaching out to Senator Thom Goolsby and other Republicans in the General Assembly to bring shared parenting to NC Fathers now! We are tired of the bias. We are tired of being visitors! We are tired of paying money to a federal agency! We want to directly support our children Senator!


    Comment by Henry Pickard (New Hanover County Father) | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  10. Senator Thom Goolsby, Why do you consider marginalizing fathers to 2nd class status to their kids remotely acceptable? By allowing the same system to continue you condone a concerted effort to keep kids from their dads…all the while blaming the misbehavior of the kids on movies…video games…TV. you demand there be better family values yet hold more value in how much a father pays in child support as opposed to the positive impact a father makes in his kids life? One day judgement will call on you and only you and god will truly know what your intentions were…did you honestly feel a fathers value is the current system? Or if your motives are really driven by money and special interests?


    Comment by michael sample | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  11. Hope Senator Goolsby will support shared parenting in NC. Family court system should be revamped and require proof of false allegations against fathers. Our children are missing out on fathers, grandparents, other family members that give support with love and moral teaching that help children grow into well rounded, productive adults. There are a lot of women that abuse the system for their own agendas, with no thought to the harm done to their children. I have seen the family court system in action and as a grandmother that is not allowed to see my grandkids, not by the courts, but by the mother, I see nothing good in a judicial system that is one sided in all instances that I have been a witness to so far. I could go on and on, about Men giving most of their income in child support to mothers that buy diamond rings with it, Men that cant afford lawyers to fight in court, so they sit it out with no hope of getting a fair shake to just visit with their children, mothers that by just speaking against the father can declare a restraining order against them for years with not a shred of evidence. There needs to be change and fairness to fathers and their children….and soon.


    Comment by Karen G | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  12. Senator Goolsby, Unless you have been through it, you cannot understand parental alienation. please look up or Shared parenting is essential for children to be able to have equal time with both parents. Please explain to me what is the downfall of this concept. This is an ethical issue. Shared parenting would decrease the amount of time divorced parents spend in Family courts…that’s a GOOD thing. It would enable children to be have relationships with BOTH parents, that’s a GOOD thing…The entire divorce laws in NC need overhaul and shared parenting is a big step..Do the right thing. Be ethical and support shared parenting and mandate judges to adhere to a minimum percentage.


    Comment by Pete Smart | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  13. I am not optimistic about this shared parenting bill and court reform happening at the hands of Senator Goolsby. He profits too greatly from it. And, to be honest, neither the House or Senate bill addresses judicial discretion so even if we had a perfect law Judges are going to continue to be bias. That said though, every father and woman in their families still need to look at Senator Goolsby if this small baby step fails.


    Comment by Michael S (New Hanover County Father and Republican) | April 24, 2013 | Reply

    • I agree. These dirty politicians and judges see how this is a huge cash cow for them to get their new Cadillacs, houses, vacations, etc. I know first hand how Sandra Ray Criner and Melinda Crouch work hand in hand to milk every dollar they can, at the cost of the child growing up without a father. I certainly don’t call 8 hours (or less) a month being a father. I consider that legal bastardizing of children. It’s sad that our own judges and politicians don’t care about the difference between what is legal and what is right in life.


      Comment by Screwed Father | April 25, 2013 | Reply

  14. Senator Goolsby, I see that you are a father. Well imagine from the time your 1st child was born only getting to see her a couple hours a week & never by yourself. Imagine your 1st child looking at you like you are a stranger her whole 1st year and a half of life because her mother barely lets you see her. Imagine after 18m your child finally realizes you are important & starts to call you dada. Imagine for the next year at the conclusion of you 1-2hr visits watching her scream & reach out to you as her mother drags her off. Imagine not being able to get anywhere in the courts to obtain a remotely acceptable agreement & being forced to accept 1-2hr visits each week simply because after rent, utilities, food & gas, car ins, & child support there is nothing left to pay an attorney to buy real time with your baby. Imagine actually having to pay the mother of your child your own hard-earned money as she keeps you from developing any sort of meaningful relationship with her, starts & quits jobs at will, & shares her childhood bedroom with your child with minimal living expenses, while you & your wife have a bedroom waiting on her. Since my husband’s daughter was born in January 2011 they have spent hour-wise less than 15 days together. He is doing his best to wait patiently for a custody order/agreement as the mother’s attorney drags this custody case out as long as possible – 15m so far. If he was to walk off with his daughter it would be kidnapping, however the mother is allowed to go & do as she pleases with their child. My husband can never get back the 1st 2 & a half years of his daughter’s life. But you have the power to keep him from missing out on the next 15 years. Something has got to change.


    Comment by Erin | April 25, 2013 | Reply

  15. Dear Senator Goolsby:

    The push for a presumption of shared parenting is the most positive move imaginable. It is impossible to convey the damages, abuse, and exploitation which I and others have personally seen occur for ourselves, children, and society as a result of poor ethics and poor government policy. I, like many others are also tired of the conjunction of money and politics, most especially in the spheres of family court and the ridiculous game playing of attorneys. I hope this message finds sincere reception and understanding!

    -Joseph Paul Duffey


    Comment by Joseph Paul Duffey | April 26, 2013 | Reply

  16. I have attempted to contact Senator Goolsby about these very issues for many years and when you talk to him he is very attentive and seems genuinely concerned about all the issues I brought up. But at the end of the day nothing is being done. I just don’t get why these legislators in New Hanover County would not want equal parenting since for many years they have been talking about a absent parent problem across NC? Do I need to talk with other Republican leadership who can help this organization?


    Comment by Claire | June 2, 2013 | Reply

    • Claire, you have to remember that Senator Goolsby is an attorney who probably made a lot of money off family law and still has friends working. The Senator also presides over one of the Judiciary committees (also made up entirely of lawyers) who take their orders from the NC Bar Association to not support shared parenting. Family law is their bread and butter. Apparently they would rather have parents at each others throats terrorizing their kids so long as they pay retainers. We have attempted to contact the Senator on these issues MANY times and he is just not inclined to talk.


      Comment by stompkinsnc | June 2, 2013 | Reply

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