NC Fathers Rights

Senator Richard Burr and NC Non-Custodial Families

Senator Richard BurrSenator Richard Burr is a North Carolina Senator representing millions of non-custodial families across this great State. NC Fathers is an organization representing these families to bring about real change to the NC Social Services system and the Family Courts so that they are less divisive and creates an environment more closely related to Equally Shared Parenting for both parents and their extended families. NC Fathers encourages readers of this blog who are members of a NC non-custodial family to aggressively share this blog on Senator Richard Burr with other families across NC on the major social networks to help gain awareness, momentum, and bring about change. Additionally, we ask that you join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE so that we can keep you informed where the Senator stands on this issue and bring you other information about legislation affecting non-custodial families. As always, we welcome any insight and contact from Senator Burr on the issues we present in this article.

Republican Senator Richard Burr and Families

Posts Related to Senator Richard Burr – Senator Kay Hagan

Undoubtedly, Senator Burr will recognize the controversial nature of the hot button topics in this article that we believe few politicians want to deal with. And, the lobby groups behind these issues are significant and well entrenched. However, we ask Senator Burr to recognize that the issues here DO affect millions of North Carolina non-custodial families each and every day. As uncomfortable as these issues are, they have to be dealt with.

Senator Richard Burr and the NC Family Courts

Senator Richard Burr needs to hear from NC non-custodial families that the NC Family Courts are extremely divisive in that one parent “wins” while the other parent “loses” and we believe it is this dichotomy that sets the stage for 2 decades of fighting between two parents. The unfortunate problem here is that the children in this fighting suffer immensely, parents go bankrupt paying attorney retainers, and lawyers become wealthy. In a equal system, like equally shared parenting, there is nothing for parents to “win” or “lose” and the courts encourage and reward two parents for learning to set differences aside for the betterment of their children. Senator Burr, when you bring fathers to the table as equal responsible adults and they can shed their “visitor” role we believe that you will see great change to the many significant problems that affect kids and families today.

NC non-custodial fathers and his entire family needs to remind Senator Burr of the current system that in no way respects the needs of NC children:

  • Despite no presumption for who gets custody in the courts, 85% of women continue to get custody of minor children. 85% is a huge number and sounds like presumption to us. Does this mean that 85% of NC fathers, paternal grandmothers, step-mothers, paternal aunts and uncles, and other family members are unfit to equally parent their children?
  • Why do custodial parents retain their parent role while the non-custodial parent receive “visitor” status and immediate sent to a federal enforcement agency where they are assigned a unique MPI # ?
  • Senator Burr, why is it that custodial mothers get extensive housing, financial, educational, and medical state assistance when they get into financial troubles, but non-custodial fathers are sent to jail when they get into financial trouble?
  • Senator Burr, why do NC Family Courts continue to allow custodial mothers to move children hundreds of miles away from non-custodial families and then perpetuate a “inactive father” problem in NC?
  • Why do NC Fathers still only get 4-5 days a month visitation with their children despite a “inactive father” problem in NC?
  • Why do custodial mothers get free legal services from the office of child support enforcement while non-custodial fathers and families have to secure private attorneys at $5000 per incident?

Surely Senator Richard Burr sees a significant dichotomy with respect to these issues that NC non-custodial families face every day and we encourage you to send the Senator to this blog and ask him to respond to these issues.

Does Senator Richard Burr not see that millions of NC Fathers are in a federal enforcement agency for doing nothing wrong except losing a custody battle? Fathers are not criminals that need to be enforced and assigned PIN numbers with the federal government.

NC non-custodial families need to be educated on the fact that the NC Child Support Enforcement system generates revenue for the State of NC who then uses that generated revenue to pay for low income assistance programs at NC social services agencies. Senator Burr, why are non-custodial fathers and families paying for women and children to get assistance on the back of non-custodial families being denied equal parentage and access to our children?

We encourage readers of this blog to sit down and read the sections of the Social Security Act Title IV Part D and pay particular attention to Section 458. In reading this section, you will notice that for EVERY ONE Dollar collected in child support via enforcement, the federal government gives back TWO Dollars to the State of NC for use at Social Services. This means that for every father paying $350 a month in child support, he is securing $700 a month at Social Services. Senator Richard Burr must understand that this seems like an awful big incentive for fathers to not get equal visitation and parentage with their children so that child support and funding for social services can be maximized. NC Fathers also asks readers of this article to review THIS INFORMATION.

Lastly, NC Fathers and NC non-custodial families needs to ask Senator Burr how much this government contractor will seek in Title IV-D funding for this software program. Why are NC non-custodial families paying for software programs and employees, developers, and lobby organizations for this industry via our child support? Is funding programs like software really in the best interest of children over their fathers and his extended family?

Senator Burr, why are NC non-custodial fathers and families funding social services and software companies instead of the federal government putting this money into a system like equally shared parenting that brings both parents and both extended families to the table for children that brings more psychological, emotional, financial, and nurturing to children than any federal enforcement agency or software could ever hope to?

NC Fathers is sure that Senator Richard Burr will acknowledge that Domestic Violence is an insidious problem that needs to be dealt with very strongly and NC Fathers agrees. However, the problem with NC Domestic Violence policies is that it ONLY focuses on MALE on FEMALE violence despite new statistics showing that WOMEN hit and use aggression to control MEN just as much, and that FEMALE on FEMALE violence in domestic partnerships is equal to MALE on FEMALE violence and control.

NC Fathers concern is that since North Carolina and the Federal Government is appropriating 1.6 BILLION dollars a year to deal with Domestic Violence, and the systems in place to deal with this are only focusing on MALE on FEMALE issues, are we not putting a lot of wrong just on the backs of men? Senator Burr, the other issue we have is that there are tons of services, programs, shelters, and ancillary costs associated with this issue, it almost seems that NC needs for there to be male MONSTERS in place so that funding can continue to flow. Senator, are you sure that many of these agencies are not perpetuating a male on female violence issue only so that funding can flow and to keep the ultra powerful lobby groups that want male on female violence stopped?

Senator Richard Burr must hear from females in paternal families who are contacting us and telling us that Judges and Law Enforcement agencies are dealing very strictly with alleged male on female domestic violence, while turning a blind eye when women hit and use aggression to control men. Additionally, because of provisions in the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) that defines male on female abuse as yelling, slamming a door, or pointing a finger, we believe hundreds of thousands of NC men and fathers are going to jail and losing access to their children on ZERO evidenced based cases. Additionally, because of the hot button nature of Domestic Violence, Judges and Law Enforcement typically over respond to allegations of Domestic Violence and issue restraining orders like candy that ultimately alienate fathers and non-custodial extended families from their children for years.

Equally disturbing Senator Burr, is the amount of FALSE Domestic Violence allegations being leveled at men as a tactical weapon in divorce and custody cases. Women, because of VAWA, have learned that there does not have to be any evidence to convict a man of violence, and that Judges and Prosecutors are wanting to appear politically correct and convict these men at an astonishing rate.

Senator Richard Burr must understand that NC Fathers hears from WOMEN of Paternity on these issues daily and it is affecting millions of NC voting citizens.

Senator Richard Burr must understand that if NC Social Services agencies are the recipient of so much Child Support Enforcement and Domestic Violence funding FROM non-custodial fathers and families, is the Senator sure that administrators of these agencies are not developing policies and procedures that maintain that funding and inadvertently vilify men and fathers in social services CPS investigations while reacting softly to women being investigated? Senator Burr, social services is an ultra powerful agency with 100% immunity from lawsuits when they do wrong or make mistakes. And trust us Senator, when Social Services makes mistakes, it can be devastating and there is absolutely NOTHING that can be done about it.

Senator Burr must hear from non-custodial fathers, paternal grandmother, step-mothers, and other extended family members that the funding going to social services FROM programs designed around non-custodial families is a cause for significant concern. Senator, it is almost like Social Services NEEDS for there to be “Deadbeat Dads” who are Domestic Offenders so that Social Services can continue to get money. Is Senator Burr sure this agency isn’t creating them for that purpose?

Senator Richard Burr and NC Non-Custodial Family Statistics

Senator Richard Burr must understand that given the current US Divorce rate, that non-custodial parents equal about 42% of the voting population in NC. And Senator, these fathers come from all ethnic backgrounds. When you add in FEMALES and males in these fathers families (paternal grandmothers, step-mothers, paternal aunts and uncles, and others) who are EQUALLY disturbed by the issues we bring up in this article, you can imagine that there exists greater than 80% of North Carolinian’s who are affected by this. This is a lot of voters Senator Burr. Additionally, Senator Burr must understand that this group of voters are a significant, if not the most significant, swing vote in the United States given the numbers of African American and Hispanic Fathers AND females in these paternal families who these issue affect daily.

Additionally, our organization estimates that Monday-Friday, the NC Family Courts creates SEVEN new non-custodial fathers, and with him, hurts at least three WOMEN in the paternal family. This equates to over 4900 NEW people weekly that we believe are ready for reform.
Senator Richard Burr needs to hear from NC non-custodial families all over the state in order to make changes to the system that we believe alienates millions of NC non-custodial families from their minor children. As shown earlier, there are very powerful organizations, agencies, and lobby groups who are very well entrenched and who have deep pockets and make money from the current divisive system. NC Fathers is committed to reaching NC non-custodial families who need to drive this message home for Senator Richard Burr so that they can achieve EQUALLY Shared Parenting with their children and be out from under the umbrella of federal funding derived from lobby groups.

NC fathers is initiating a significant campaign to reach NC Senator Burr and other members of Congress on this important issue, but we need your help. PLEASE, share this article extensively with other non-custodial families in North Carolina on the major search engines and email the Senator. Also, we encourage you once again to join our MAILING LIST and would even appreciate you copying the code below and pasting it into your website or blog to show support.

Show Support by Copying and Pasting the code below to your Website or Blog:

Please Ask <a href="">Senator Richard Burr</a> of NC to bring Equal Shared Parenting to NC children.

December 16, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,


  1. I have contacted Senator Richard Burr on this very same issue many times as a step-mother. I have watched year after year my husband’s son’s mother use the system. I guess I thought women were on Welfare BECAUSE of men but I am now learning that they use children to get on Welfare. No amount of work we do are we ever allowed to have anything close to meaningful visitation. Thank You!


    Comment by KAL | August 6, 2012 | Reply

    • Karen, Senator Richard Burr has not contacted us at all on this issue either. We have tried on his Facebook, Email, and Legislative email address. Senator Burr apparently isn’t brite given the numbers on non-custodial family members in this State.


      Comment by ncfathers | August 6, 2012 | Reply

  2. Senator Richard Burr, while a member of the Republican Party who clearly wants entitlement reform, will never support this organization because Democrats have Republicans believing that the system is “for the children” and to oppose it means you want children not to be supported. Like this organization, bring equal shared parenting would mean greater money going to children when fathers have them. But Senator Burr will never go for it. Thank You for this organization!


    Comment by Renee (Step-Mother) | September 15, 2012 | Reply

    • Renee, thank you for your comment and it is good to see women of paternity getting involved in this issue. We wholeheartedly agree with your posts. We are not asking Senator Richard Burr to understand and reform the system. We are asking the 4.7 million voters from non-custodial families to end his career. Our posts on Senator Burr was not meant to change his mind. It was meant to introduce him to voters he is hurting.


      Comment by ncfathers | September 15, 2012 | Reply

  3. I thought Senator Richard Burr and NC Republicans were all about entitlement programs, clearly he should be on the right side of this issue. It is very clear that many custodial mothers want custody and are having babies to get INTO these programs.


    Comment by Thomas | September 22, 2012 | Reply

    • Senator Burr and Republicans are about entitlement program reform, but they do not see child support as being an entitlement program although it is funding Welfare. Also, Republicans refuse to reform child support because it is presented as a “do it for the kids” which we think Senator Burr refuses to address this issue as he would be seen as doing something to hurt kids. Our contention is that NC Senator Richard Burr is already hurting kids by supporting a program that keeps them alienated from their paternal side of the family.


      Comment by stompkinsnc | September 22, 2012 | Reply

  4. Here is my message to Senator Richard Burr and other Republicans in North Carolina. I am a non-custodial father who makes $30,000 a year and my wife who has a Masters Degree when she left our marriage was making $55,000 a year. Of course, she got the kids and married a doctor who let’s her not work. Thus, I pay child support on her $0 income even though she is capable of working. Senator Burr, this is in no way fair and I am supporting this site.


    Comment by Darryl Wellons | March 26, 2013 | Reply

  5. Senator Richard Burr needs definitely needs to hear the plight of non-custodial families, and I have as very similar issue as the commenter above. My wife left our marriage making considerable money and married someone else with money, quick work, and now I pay premium child support. I do not mind supporting my children, but I don’t want to pay an increased amount just because my ex-wife found a sugar daddy! Thanks a lot Senator Burr!


    Comment by Angry NC Republican Father | March 30, 2013 | Reply

  6. I want Senator Richard Burr and other Republican Senate members to know that child support enforcement should only apply to parents who choose to be absent parents. This process of court ordered absence to gain child support Title IV-D money back to the states is harsh and unneeded. It’s abusive.


    Comment by NC Step-Mother in Catawba County | March 30, 2013 | Reply

  7. Senator Richard Burr, why is it that you and your fellow republican and democratic politicians continue to ignore the repeated and continued bias and corruption in N.C. Domestic Courts and with N.C. Child Support? Is this Title IV-D money enough for you and other politicians to ignore the damage being done to our children, to ignore basic human and Constitutional rights, to ignore doing the right things ethically and morally? Certainly, from a self preservation point of view, you and the other politicians have to understand that the increasing numbers of Non Custodial Parents that are being mentally and financially abused by this corrupt system will eventually number too many to ignore. I have continued to pay support for a child that is nearly twenty years old and a second that hasn’t even lived with the custodial parent for over seven months. This is despite spending thousands to have a “modification hearing”, only to have two convicts cases heard instead of mine when I was promised my case WOULD be heard that day. Then, seven months ago, NC Child Support advised me in writing they were required to re-evaluate my support, but never did. I continue to overpay, with no visitation because “reasonable visitation” cannot be enforced, since it’s not defined by NC State law. Had I gone seven months or nearly two years without paying child support, I’d certainly had the custodial parent’s free N.C. Child Support Enforcement attorney throwing me in jail. How can you with any conscious, allow injustices like this to continue, but worse, to continue against our children and future generations.


    Comment by R.C. Woody | March 31, 2013 | Reply

  8. My message to Senator Richard Burr is as a grandmother, wife, mother, single mother, step mother, I have been on all sides of this issue. i have seen the pain and anguish as the courts pull families apart instead of putting them back together. i do not have all the answers and i know that each case is separate and individual. I believe that each case needs specific individual attention and not just a “blanket” law. there are some states that have better family laws than NC. NC has committees for road expenditure, taxes, health care school systems requirements, but there is no one set committee for family law. Each county and jurisdiction is a separate entity. We need to find a way to come together and communicate the needs of our children. A program that is enforced for the children would be a start. mandatory counseling,mediation, assistance for school, medical, housing, child support, for both parents involved. I am not talking about the little programs that only assist one parent but a full fledged program that helps mother father and child. We all have prosperous times in our lives but we also all have hard times. being parents should not be a punishment but a joy. a life style. a tier program I guess,though it would not be perfect it would help all involved. a checks and balance system. Senator, I am not saying everyone should be robots but if a mother/ father is working, going to school, providing and nurturing if they are TRYING then why should they be punished, if a father needs assistance to obtain a job to support and provide then assist them. if a mother needs a place to live then assist them. but be equal. Senator Burr, If the parents are not progressing then that is when the courts should step in. the courts are so back logged, and even the cs system is behind. what would be so wrong for a system where the parents register and say this is my child or i think this is my child what do i do next. A guide if you will that is standard. but allows for leniency to individualize the standard rules. the thousands of dollars and the millions of dollars that are being wasted statewide could really be put to use “in the best interest of the child”. While no program is perfect we truly need to look at our system and fix what is broken…. for the children. and for all involved. No grand parents rights? why not. they are our babies too. every little one wants a grandma and grandpa. they need the nurturing and love that is provided by all involved. the old saying goes “it takes a village to raise a child” … not an institution. all sides and all involved need to be treated equally. i know personally in our case all involved have paid hefty legal fees, changed jobs, lost jobs, all for the sake of the child. While i would do ANYTHING for my family….. the money and time could have been put to better use.. like a college education fund. I understand that all programs need funding… I believe that we have the funding or a start for the funding already in place… it should be reallocated to provide the “true” best interest of the child. I know I will get back lash… what about the abusive parent, or the dead beat parent or the unsafe parents… I get that…. they need help too and while the safety of the child should be first…. there are court supervised visits that can be set up in a neutral place, with ta court appointed person. Some counties even have safe programs in place. the bitterness and the anger has to stop somewhere…. all we are doing is teaching the next generation the anger and hate that we adults have built up within ourselves. just because we as parents do not love each other anymore or maybe never did… it does not mean we don’t love our children. Maybe they can teach us to be pure and love unconditionally …. at least for their sake, as for cs…. i do believe it needs to be in place. I do believe it needs to be structured….. and most importantly i do believe it needs to be fair. If you are not hiding assets, or trying to beat the system… then you should be given assistance also. when you get behind on a car note or lose your home… you are not thrown in jail; you are given options, assistance, guidance, why can it not be that way for child support also? the “bad eggs ” that have abused the system… they punish all of us. we are each individuals that need help and guidance. Instead of the government taking away our rights… why not “truly” assist us.


    Comment by layla | March 31, 2013 | Reply

  9. Senator Burr, Why is it that a very stable hard working father is having to fight for custody of his own child for 3 years against the mother that does not work, on welfare leaves in a different state and left his child with her father witch has intervened into the custody case? Why is it OK for her to leave her son with her father instead of the natural father? He does not receive welfare owns a very nice home and has never been in trouble until she told lies on him about domestic violence… how can a women say things to get a man into trouble with out having to prove it… can a women say “he hit me” and the man just go to jail… most of all, why is that a man that loves his child with all he has, wants to raise love and care for him can’t especially when the mother is not doing it…. how can a grandfather have rights before the father??? Its a very sad thing to see a grown strong hard working man cry because he can not kiss his child good night hut yet knows another man is and its even with his mother….. some one can change this.. some one can fix this.. some one can care!


    Comment by crystal | April 9, 2013 | Reply

  10. I am a NC Father of three…… Please Mr Burr pass this legislation as a start, then remove any NC Judge that does not uphold it or the constitution!!!


    Comment by Adam | April 9, 2013 | Reply

  11. I am a mother of 4 and I am getting screwed by my ex husband and Judge Michael Paul!!!!! My ex will not let me see my children nor talk to them in over 3 months. And, all the judge said was “let me remind you at the outset that it is against court rules for a party to contact the court to discuss a pending case without notifying the opposing party and allowing him to be heard. Such contact is called ex-parte communication and is strictly forbidden and subject to sanctions” Oh please! My ex is in contempt but does that matter???????????????? Just because I have no money for a liar (I mean lawyer) I get no help in seeing my children! UNREAL!


    Comment by Judy | April 17, 2013 | Reply

  12. I am calling on NC Senator Richard Burr and other Republicans to immediately end the Title IV-D program that is in place to gain State money for Welfare programs gained from non-custodial parent child support collection. This is a bad idea because what State officials are doing in making ALL Fathers non-custodial and with low visitation awards so that greater federal money is received.


    Comment by Jack (Carteret County NC) | June 6, 2013 | Reply

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