NC Fathers Rights

Colleen Delaney Eubanks, National Child Support Enforcement Association

National Child Support Enforcement AssociationColleen Delaney Eubanks is the Executive Director of the National Child Support Enforcement Association (NCSEA) which is the primary lobby organization for child support enforcement in the US Federal Government. If anything related to the federal child support enforcement program comes across US Senators and Representatives desks, then you can be sure that the National Child Support Enforcement Association has their hands in it. In this article, we are asking non-custodial families (parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and others), shared parenting advocates, and others to share this article on Colleen Delaney Eubanks with the hundreds of millions of parents who are paying child support (overwhelmingly a father) in the United States with others on sites like Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks to bring about greater awareness to the data contained in this article. Primarily, much of the information we bring together in this document will come from THIS PDF contained on the NCSEA website. Therefore, we ask that you read it first then come back to this article for our response to it.

Judge Lean Ward Sears

Before going any further, NC Fathers wants to align itself with a general concept that we are sure Colleen Delaney Eubanks and NCSEA advocate for, and that is that both parents should support their children financially. Where our organization differs from the National Child Support Enforcement Association is that we believe the non-custodial family should be directly responsible in financially supporting their children as equal parents, with equal access, and around the concept of shared parenting instead of being pushed to the margins of kids life four days a month so that these families pay greater financial support via enforcement.

OK, so back to the document that we asked you to read. Why is the National Child Support Enforcement Association inviting a retired Georgia Chief Justice of the State Supreme Court to speak at a child support enforcement conference on the effects of Fatherlessness on children? At first thought, it appears that NCSEA and Colleen Delaney Eubanks have finally come around to seeing the importance of fathers in children’s lives, and that they are prepared to support equally shared parenting so that these fathers can go to work reversing many of the problems outlined in the article. Citing the article, these problems include:

  • “Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It is the leading cause of declining child well-being in our society.”
  • “The Center for Disease Control, the Department of Justice and the Bureau of the Census report: Of the 30% of children who live apart from their fathers, they will account for 63% of teen suicides, 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions, 71% of high-school dropouts, 75% of children in chemical-abuse centers, 80% of rapists, 85% of youths in prison, 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders, and 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.”
  • “Children born to unwed mothers are ten times more likely to live in poverty as children with fathers in the home.”
  • “The causal link between fatherless children and crime is so strong that controlling for family configuration erases the relationship between race and crime and between low income and crime.”
  • “Most social problems — crime, drug abuse, unwed pregnancy and abortion, youth suicide, school dropouts, domestic violence, and the like — are the direct consequence of fatherless households.”
  • “They don’t have the benefit of a father’s wisdom, guidance, love, no, but what’s far worse is that they never knew such things existed.”
  • “Children who grow up with their fathers do far better — emotionally, educationally, physically, every way we can measure — than children who do not.”

NC Fathers and Child Support Enforcement

So with these problems identified, the glaring question for Colleen Delaney Eubanks and the National Child Support Enforcement Association is, why do the Family Courts and your lobby organization do everything possible to CONTRIBUTE to Fatherlessness?

And this brings us to the main focus of this article. So many Fatherhood Initiatives in America are focused around getting Fathers to be responsible and engaged from WITHIN a government control system rather than being direct fathers as they should be. In the NCSEA article, and credit should be given, NCSEA stated “And, of course, not all fathers are separated from their children voluntarily — many are forcibly removed by mothers who’ve bought into the lie that fathers aren’t necessary. There are also mothers who just want to “upgrade.” Under such circumstances, most courts provide fathers limited responsibility or visitation with their children, and only now are some states acknowledging the critical role fathers play in the lives of their children”. So why do we not see lobbying from the National Child Support Enforcement Association to stop this? Why is Colleen Delaney Eubanks not talking to Senators and Representatives about this issue?

NC Fathers

Unfortunately, the article from NCSEA goes into way more depth in pointing out that a majority of Fathers are absent and disengaged by choice. But is there very plausible reason for this? NC Fathers thinks so, and here is why:

  • Fathers have learned that historically the US Family Courts are going to be very harsh on them and marginalize them to a visitor role four days a month EVEN IF they WANT to be responsible and engaged as equal parents; but this is assuming that these fathers can find $20,000 to make it into court in the first place. Our organization thinks that a significant number of fathers just “go away” because it makes no sense to pay this amount of money to lose in the system even if they wanted to be parents.
  • Unfortunately, there is a large majority of men and women who are engaging in recreational and irresponsible sex outside and inside marriage that often times results in pregnancy. Many times, these “parents” are not prepared emotionally, physically, and financially to support children. But it is important to remember that Fathers do not have abortion, adoption, and safe haven laws as tools to skip out on their responsibility as a parent that is afforded to women. So, of course there are more numbers of problematic fathers. Also, one must note that the National Child Support Enforcement Association goes to great lengths to use these figures when discussing child support policy with Legislators which we believe sends the message that fathers are by nature bad parents while mothers are good parents. Furthermore, we would like for Colleen Delaney Eubanks to consider this analogy. If you sit a mother and father down and tell them that they are going to be tied to a chair and put in water and that the one who survives is the better person/parent, then give the mother a knife to free herself, is it really fair to then tell the father that he is bad because he didn’t have a tool to free himself?
  • Fathers have learned that the family courts are 85% of the time going to give custody to a mother, and of the 15% that lose custody, 50% will regain custody shortly after completing some type of treatment or counseling. From there, the mother will have access to work assistance, housing assistance, financial assistance, food assistance, education assistance, counseling assistance, and tax incentives to make it to prosperity. Surely Colleen Delaney Eubanks and the National Child Support Enforcement Association recognizes that the only assistance fathers get is help in getting into a patrol car as they are carted off to jail during tough economic times?

So are fathers absent and disengaged by choice? Clearly there are a LOT of barriers to fathers being seen as equal parents, and we think that a large majority of the identified “absent fathers” simply didn’t have the stamina or resources to fight within a system that really does need them to fail.

Does Colleen Delaney Eubanks and the National Child Support Enforcement Association Really Need For Fathers To Fail?

National Child Support Enforcement Association and DadsMany child support enforcement professionals absolutely deny the fact that US State Governments need fathers to be marginalized four days a month so that they pay greater child support amounts which then triggers Title IV-D money. If Fathers were allowed to have shared parenting, then of course they would not be required to pay as much child support via government enforcement and States would then receive less IV-D money that they most often times use to replenish Welfare and Low Income Assistance Programs. But then there are child support enforcement professionals that absolutely point out the kinship between child support and Welfare on the grounds that many custodial mothers are driven into these programs by bad fathers who abandon them (or who weren’t given a knife to free themselves) and it is appropriate that these fathers replenish that money. While this makes sense on some levels, what about Fathers who are triggering Title IV-D money when the mother IS NOT on Welfare or Low Income Assistance programs?

With this said, NC Fathers concern is that Colleen Delaney Eubanks and the National Child Support Enforcement Association’s goal in asking a former Judge to speak on Fatherlessness is to help repair and mend the hostility and anger directed at them from non-custodial and unmarried fathers, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other family members that are making a lot of noise about equally shared parenting. But we want to make it very clear that our view of shared parenting does not offer a place at the table for child support enforcement because we believe that far greater resources and opportunities exists for children when they have two equal parents, extended families at the table, and government enforcement out of the picture.

In short, if Colleen Delaney Eubanks and the National Child Support Enforcement Association were truly concerned about Fatherlessness, then they would be in the US Senate and House of Representatives daily demanding a equal playing field, THEN focusing on enforcing parents who TRULY made a conscious decision (with tools in hand to succeed) to not support their children.

And finally, going back to the article mentioned early in this post, Judge Leah Ward Sears stated what is absolutely one of the most astonishing and disturbing comments we have ever seen a Judge and Child Support Enforcement professional ever make.

In speaking to the 2011 conference of the National Child Support Enforcement Association attendees (which we presume Colleen Delaney Eubanks attended), Judge Sears said:

I cannot underestimate the weight of this next statement: What each and every one of you in this room does on a daily basis, what you have devoted your lives to, is the greatest step toward reversing fatherlessness and restoring the family unit.”

And with that statement, we believe that Executive Director Colleen Delaney Eubanks of the National Child Support Enforcement Association completely lost the respect and support of hundreds of millions of voting non-custodial families and unmarried fathers in the United States. Clearly, our concern is that NCSEA believes that their work in securing MONEY for children carries as much weight as a FATHER.

We would love to hear how Judge Leah Ward Sears, Colleen Delaney Eubanks, and the National Child Support Enforcement Association explains to ALL US non-custodial families how securing monthly money ends Fatherlessness.

And the truth comes out.

In the past few years, the National Child Support Enforcement Association has talked a lot about “Families” and has included a lot of talk about non-custodial parents in this process like they are part of the team. This video above really demonstrates that. While we can’t speak for ALL Fathers, we feel very comfortable saying that a VERY large majority of Fathers do not feel like a member of the team. NC Fathers believes that NCSEA sees the writing on the wall as more and more non-custodial families are starting to speak out on being marginalized as 4 day a month visitors that always results in far greater child support awards. NC Fathers stands firm that NC non-custodial families brings far greater resources and opportunities to the table than any big government collection agency can ever bring.

NC Fathers would also like for the Executive Director of the National Child Support Enforcement Association to explain why enforcement on spends $1 in visitation programs for every $499 spent on actual enforcement if they are concerned about ending Fatherlessness? Is this nothing more than just a way to keep visitation awards low so that more fathers pay increased performance based child support to generate more and more money for US States and increase the association’s political stature?

Association

Roughly half of custodial mothers today have male children who will one day be pushed to the margins of their kids lives if they experience a divorce and have children. Where do you think these non-custodial grandmothers (who will also be marginalized as well) will stand then? With Equally Shared Parenting?

Child Support

Please be sure to share this article on Colleen Delaney Eubanks and the National Child Support Enforcement Association with other non-custodial families on sites like Facebook and Twitter to bring about greater awareness of child support, Fatherlessness, and the impact of government enforcement on families.

National Child Support Enforcement Association and Non-Custodial Families

Unfortunately, for NC Fathers and Women in Non-Custodial Families, paying child support means that you have to be a non-equal parent and family to your children, thus we feel that Colleen Delaney Eubanks and the National Child Support Enforcement Association have missed the mark on how to end Fatherlessness. And, the statement by Judge Leah Ward Sears is dangerous in that you cannot end Fatherlessness by collecting child support. Furthermore, many will argue that Child Support Enforcement and US States NEEDS for Fatherlessness to exist so that the relationship between Title IV-D Money and Welfare can continue. Additionally, NC Fathers seriously doubts that Custodial Mothers and Womens Rights groups want to end Fatherlessness because this allows for control and access to the tons of public assistance programs available to poverty stricken mothers who use this as a path to better lives for them and their children at the demise of US Fathers. Remember, Fathers who are paying child support still trigger Title IV-D money back to North Carolina even when the custodial mother is not on public assistance.

NC Fathers wants to make it very clear that many child support enforcement professionals frame enforcement as if it is the only way that a Father can be responsible, and that anyone who disagrees with the child support system is against supporting children. The fact is, we believe that the greater responsibility in being a parent is to DIRECTLY support children financially as equal parents. And, until Colleen Delaney Eubanks and the National Child Support Enforcement Association realizes this then non-custodial families and women in these families will continue to be marginalized and there will be conflict.

Update 11/21/2013

In a recent study, marriage is at an all-time historic low with only 1 in 3 women being married. We believe that the National Child Support Enforcement Association is largely responsible for men beginning to wise up and go their own way. Men are refusing to participate in creating children, they are not getting married, and they are refusing to participate in an industry that seeks to destroy them. At NC Fathers, we encourage more and more men NOT TO GET MARRIED AND STOP GIVING WOMEN CHILDREN in an effort to starve the beast that has undervalued men and fathers for the benefit of women and association like the one Colleen Delaney Eubanks runs.

Please join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE to stay up-to-date on issues like family court, child support enforcement, false allegations of domestic violence, adoptions, and other issues that have profound consequences on NC non-custodial families. And lastly, we again ask that you excessively share this article on Colleen Delaney Eubanks and the National Child Support Enforcement Association with other US Families so that we can build a massive organization that holds Legislators, Judges, and others accountable for the clear bias that exists in the family court system.

Below is a list of images taken from a very large Facebook page of custodial mothers who advocate for domestic violence and turning children against their fathers: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Child-Support-You-Owe-it-Pay-it/310454502303229

Where do you think Colleen Delaney would be if Fathers advocate for Domestic Violence against Mothers? Yet not a word. Women in paternal families better wake up!

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Please Ask The  <a href="https://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/colleen-delaney-eubanks-national-child-support-enforcement-association">National Child Support Enforcement Association</a> To Bring EQUALLY Shared Parenting to US Children.
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December 15, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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