NC Fathers Rights

First, Second, Third Wave Feminism and Family Law

First Wave, Second Wave, Third Wave FeminismThis is a discussion on First Wave, Second Wave, and Third Wave Feminism and it’s relation to Family Law. Daily, many of you ask the question “How Did We Get To This Point” in the Family Law system where so many in the non-custodial families are being hurt. So, I want to take you back to the good ole days for many in a certain movement that layed down the bricks for the current family courts. For women reading this, I want to point out that this is not a article against women or the women’s rights movement. I can make this assertion because I stand firm on my past statement that actually MORE women are getting hurt in the divisive family courts than Fathers are. I make this claim because for every ONE Father getting hammered in the courts, there are at LEAST two women that are getting nailed as well. These two women are typically a step-mother and paternal grandmother. Furthermore, as we have pointed out in the past, HALF of all custodial mothers with male children will one day get to experience what we experience today. That is a lot of women. And, while this organization may seem like a “Men’s Rights” group, we routinely go to bat for non-custodial mothers that happen across our pages. If being marginalized is bad for us, it’s also bad for non-custodial mothers.

Waves of Feminism and the Family Courts

A note about feminism. There are really three groups of feminist, those being 1) First wave feminist 2) Second wave feminist, and 3) Third wave feminists

First wave feminist was the initial women’s rights movement who simply fought for equal rights… for EVERYONE… including Fathers. This group of feminist actually were the first to bring up shared parenting because by sharing parenting with men, it allowed women to further their careers, education, and climb the corporate ladder to independence. The first wave feminist movement was from around 1920-1960.

Second wave feminist are groups that evolved from first wave feminists and want equal rights for all women AT THE EXPENCE of men/fathers. Second wave feminists believe that there are inherent “De Facto” inequalities for men and these extend out to family law. The second wave feminist movement occurred from 1960-2000.

Third wave feminism is the current state of feminism and this movement is widely still evolving.

Feminism

Roughly half of custodial mothers today have male children who will one day be pushed to the margins of their kids lives if they experience a divorce and have children. Where do you think these non-custodial grandmothers (who will also be marginalized as well) will stand then? With Equally Shared Parenting? How come Second Wave Feminist Never Tell This Fact?

Law

Feminism

Read more about the history of feminism here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First-wave_feminism AND here, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second-wave_feminism, and here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third-wave_feminism

Now to my point.

Much of what we are experiencing in the NC Family Courts has much to do with second wave feminism and I want to point you to a page on the National Organization For Women website: http://www.nowfoundation.org/issues/family/all-links.html?cat=120&paged=3

While on this page, scroll down until you see the link pointing to “The Liz Library” which is cited as “Debunking the Claims About Joint Versus Sole Custody”

Now click the link to go to a website run by a woman who is a DEVOUT and VERY RADICAL second wave feminist and who is still by many standards considered the “Go To Girl” for NOW in family court matters. Just 10-12 years ago, that website was the gold standard for what second wave feminism demanded in their lobbying efforts. Take about 30 minutes to read other sections of this website because it is these teaching from NOW that entirely run the family courts today.

While I think every man or father reading this website will cringe, this post is mostly for WOMEN in paternal families, custodial mothers who will find themselves in our seats one day, and for non-custodial mothers to realize the backlash that is occurring against these teachings that has thrown our system into one HUGE mess.

So you still think that Feminism does not hurt women?

First wave, second wave, third wave

As a paternally related WOMAN, step-mothers, grandmothers, aunts, now adult female children of fathers…. is the Liz Library REALLY about equality (NOW’s mission for a century) and how are these teachings affecting YOU today as you are systematically alienated from your grandchildren, step-children, nieces and nephews, and step-siblings because of your relation to paternity?

Show Support by Copying and Pasting the code below to your Website or Blog:

Learn How <a href="https://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2012/12/17/first-second-third-wave-feminism-and-family-law">First Wave, Second Wave, and Third Wave Feminism</a> is hurting custodial mothers and women in paternal families.

NC Family Law Waves

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December 17, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized

4 Comments »

  1. I like your website. But at least you are in North Carolina. Out here, feminism in family court, is obvious and politically correct. Maybe its just my perception, but in California, feminism is the political party.

    Like

    Comment by Adam Johnson | February 15, 2013 | Reply

  2. Dialogue between a Feminist and a Man

    FEMINIST: I demand equality.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: Harvard must go coed, not Wellesley.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: And circumcised girls must be called “genitally mutilated,” while circumcised boys remain…”normal.”
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: After we engage in adult activities, I get three choices (birth, abortion, or adoption). You get none.
    MAN:
    Okay

    FEMINIST: I can kill your child, or make you pay for 25 years, or give it away.
    MAN:
    Okay

    FEMINIST: I can join the army and never fight.
    MAN:
    Okay

    FEMINIST: I can wear what I want, but you can’t look at what you want.
    MAN:
    Okay

    FEMINIST: I’m rough and tough, but can sue for name-calling.
    MAN:
    Okay

    FEMINIST: I can come in 70th in a Marathon and still get first-place prizes.
    FoxNews: “Catherine Ndereba (search) of Kenya won the Boston Marathon (search) for the third time Monday, her 16-second margin of victory tying for the smallest in women’s race history.” — Well, that wasn’t hard at all. Women got a half-hour head start. Full Story
    “Catherine Ndereba, the top female finisher (13th overall), and Timothy Cherigat (1st overall), the top male finisher, each got $80,000. I can’t find the prize amount for those placing 2nd through 12th.” Full Story
    (Well, would it not stand to reason that they all got $80,000? To do otherwise would be discriminatory! —WHS)
    MAN:
    Okay

    FEMINIST: I want to technically make divorce no-fault…
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: …but actually blame you.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I want all the benefits of marriage post-divorce, not the burdens. You must keep all burdens and lose all benefits.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: If I say you made booga-booga eyes at me, I get to call the cops and have you arrested.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: Arrested, you become a “batterer” and I can kick you out of our home. I also get temporary custody of your kids.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: If I have a restraining order, and you call me, I can call it “stalking.” You’ll be jailed even if I call you.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: At permanent custody hearings, I can bring up your “abuse” record that I make up and keep the kids, car, cash, and castle.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I can kill you and say you provoked me. You can’t lay a hand on me since “There’s NEVER an excuse to hit a woman.”
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: Men who beat women will suffer harsh Federal punishments and public censure. Women — who start better than half of all domestic fights with men and cause most abuse/neglect of children and the elderly — will be called “nurturers” and “care-givers.”
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: Divorce will cost you big bucks. I’ll get free help from the state, and women’s advocates, and even make you pay my legal bills.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I get the kids, because I spent more time raising them. You don’t keep the cash, though you spent more time earning it.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I’m a mommy, you’re a money-mule.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I get to go back to school, or stay at home. You must work.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I get to track your earnings. You can’t track my parenting. In fact, you can’t see your kids school records without my say-so.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: You must make up for my lost career momentum. I don’t have to make up for your lost time with the kids.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: You have to pay child-support (CS) to me. I don’t have to tell you how I spend it or if I use it on myself.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: Your CS orders will be higher than if we were still married, being based on Lenore [Weitzman’s] cooked statistics.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I get to have “space” and to “find” myself. Judges will make you stay at lousy jobs.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I get 25 per cent of your gross income for Jimmy. Make more, I get more.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: After divorce, I can “train” or go to college instead of getting a job. You have to work.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I get to move the kids out of state without your permission. You can’t budge without mine.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: “Family” now means “women and children.”
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: Birthing slatterns will now be called “single mommies,” their chosen sex partners “predators.”
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: States and feds will enforce my child-support rights – for free. You must pay to ” try” to enforce your visitation rights.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I don’t have to make up denied visitation to you. You must pay all missed CS payments to me, with interest.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I can call you a “deadbeat dad.” You can’t call me a “welfare queen.”
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: Welfare mothers can’t be forced to name abusive fathers since ALL fathers are now “abusive.”
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: The tax office can dog you on the Internet for CS. My privacy is sacred, my rights endless.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: CS agents can hunt you like a fugitive slave, making you register with employers like an apartheid black.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: Whales matter now, not males.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: In cultural coin tosses, it’s “heads I win, tails you lose.”
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: I can keep expanding my perks and punishing you.
    MAN:
    Okay.

    FEMINIST: If you want me to bobbittize you, say “Okay.”
    MAN:
    Okay.

    —Source unknown

    Feminist: I will get Norton (Symantec) and O2 to block your websites and blogs, so you can no longer whine and complain to the public about what the big, bad feminists are doing to you. (More)

    Man:
    ….(?)

    Feminist:
    I will remove the men studies programs from all universities and colleges.

    Man:
    Okay.

    Like

    Comment by Anon | May 22, 2013 | Reply

  3. This NC Fathers seems pretty biased and bitter. There are a lot of misconceptions going on here. One being that women LIKE being single moms. Strapped for time and money… Anyway, I understand the custody / child support system isn’t always fair. I liked the bit connecting federal dollars to custody- makes sense. But a basic statistic is that when a family splits up, regardless of what custody arrangement takes place, women and children get a lower standard of living, while Men’s standard of living goes up. The assistance single parents may receive is necessary and usually not enough. Many times, single mom is synonymous with poor. Same for dads. But less often. In any case I agree that reform is needed.

    Like

    Comment by thiswackylife | July 21, 2013 | Reply

    • We won’t apologize for being biased or bitter, after a century of experiencing biases in the family courts and with feminist theories, it tends to do that to people.

      As for the others part of your comment, you assertion that women don’t like being single moms and that they are strapped for time and money, then perhaps more single moms should share custody of their children with their fathers to free up some time and have more money because he is spending money on them 50% of the time. If you fight so hard for 90% of the time, then cry about it, we I’m just as sorry as I can be.

      And where is this rule book that says when two people divorce, their standards of living have to be equal at the time they divorce? But let’s take into account some figures. Lets pick $500 a month in child support, being a single mom automatically gets her food stamps, lets pick $250, and many times free Section 8 housing, lets use $600 in rent, free medical and dental, this could EASILY (with meds) be around $500 a month, daycare help, lets say $200, educational assistance and job assistance, the $2500 tax credit divided by 12 = $208 per month. So we are at $2258. Oh how I WISH I made $2258 per month. Oh but wait, they get free child support enforcement attorneys at $150 an hour dads have to spend. They can’t go to jail when they get sick, or lose a job, so no bail money going out.

      The assistance wouldn’t be necessary if they shared custody and got a job.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | July 21, 2013 | Reply


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