NC Fathers Rights

Senator Tom Apodaca – Republican – Buncombe, Henderson, Transylvania County

Senator Tom ApodacaRepublican Senator Tom Apodaca is a Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC Senator who serves on the Senate Judiciary I committee at the NC General Assembly which would take on the issue of equally shared parenting and family court reform. NC Fathers emailed Senator Apodaca in December of 2012 to get his insight on court reform and shared parenting and further down this article we are going to reveal his thoughts on it. NC Fathers wants to remind Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC non-custodial families (fathers, mothers, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc…) that you represent a massive amount of voters in NC who typically get very hurt in the Family Court system in NC when you are reduced to visitor roles 4 days a month. In fact, our organization thinks that HALF of the population in Buncombe, Henderson, and Transylvania county NC have direct ties to a non-custodial family and the NC General Assembly needs to hear their experiences. Furthermore, given these numbers, it is assured that Senator Tom Apodaca and other Republicans in NC enjoy their positions as Senators because of non-custodial voters. Lastly, Senator Apodaca needs to understand that each court day, roughly seven new FAMILIES become non-custodial and leave court very angry. OUR GOAL, is to reach these families. Please consider joining our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE where you will have the opportunity to share this article on Senator Tom Apodaca with the many non-custodial families on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, and other networks. Help us bring the information contained in this article to members of the NC General Assembly.

Posts related to Republican Senator Tom Apodaca in Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC – Sheriff Van Duncan, Judge Ward Scott, Buncombe County Department of Social Services

Senator Tom Apodaca - Buncombe, Henderson, Transylvania County NC Non-Custodial Families

As we do in virtually all articles we write, we invite Senator Apodaca and Non-Custodial Families to click on the RED and BLUE graphic below to get a reminder of the many difficulties NC Legislators and Judges ask you to live with for 21 years. Our message to you is that you should not be asked to live this way just because our current court system demands that one parent win in a custody battle, and the other parent (and extended family) lose. Our organization believes that Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC children receive maximum resources and opportunities at all levels when they have BOTH equal parents and extended families at the table for children. And quite frankly, this is something that big government enforcement can not do. If you are tired of being marginalized in your kids lives, then we again ask you to join our organization and extensively share this article with others daily. And this includes the MANY women in paternal families who get equally hurt in this system.

Senator in NC

Republican Senator Tom Apodaca and Buncombe, Henderson, and Transylvania County NC Court Reform

Here are many of the major concerns for Republican Senator Tom Apodaca to consider when thinking about NC Family Court Reform:

  • There are too many organizations, lobbyists, and other groups who derive money from a divisive family court system. The two biggest are the NC Bar Association and NC Social Services agencies. Here is some disturbing information for Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC non-custodial families to educate themselves on. Did you know that by paying child support, you are helping to make sure that Welfare and Low Income assistance programs are funded? In looking at the Social Security Act Title IV-D program, for every dollar collected in child support, the State of NC gets back an equal match of federal money that is then used for social services programs. In essence, by you being marginalized and paying increasing amounts of child support, you are helping Welfare recipients with housing assistance, educational assistance, food assistance, medical assistance, job assistance, and other programs? Senator Apodaca, are you at all concerned that the State of NC has become dependent on this money and therefore has an incentive to distance non-custodial fathers, step-mothers, paternal grandparents, aunts and uncles, and step-siblings from their children and loved ones so that these families pay more child support? With regard to the NC Bar Association, would you rather see lawyers have access to $95,000 in 19 years or Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC children?
  • Can Republican Senator Tom Apodaca explain why there is a pay wall between Fathers and Children in NC, and that if these Fathers do not have $20,000 to START a custody hearing on their children, that they may never see their children again? What typically happens with a divorce is that parents will split, and the kids will go with the mother and many times moves hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away and not allow any contact until there is a court order. If non-custodial families can not come up with $20,000 their children are gone. Does Senator Apodaca realize how many Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC families do not have access to this type of money?
  • Can Senator Tom Apodaca explain why custodial parents have access to the above public assistance programs and tax incentives when they have a hard time making financial ends meet, but then we imprison non-custodial parents who have the same problem making financial ends meet? Would it not make more sense to strengthen BOTH parents for the greater good of children?
  • Can Senator Tom Apodaca explain why Judges and other professionals keep talking about the horrible problem of absent fathers, but on a VERY routine basis Judges in Buncombe, Henderson, and Transylvania County NC CREATE Fatherlessness when they allow the custodial parent to move kids many hundreds of miles away or order 4 day (in some cases HOUR) a month visitation?
  • No doubt Senator Tom Apodaca will hear from the NC Bar Association that Judicial Discretion is a must in Family Law because every case is different. But with discretion, comes WILDLY different outcomes for many families which breeds mistrust and anger. Additionally, it is the perfect setup for corruption and bias.
  • No doubt Senator Tom Apodaca will hear from the “Womens Rights” lobby that shared parenting is a bad idea for a myriad of reasons. But Senator, what about the great number of WOMEN in non-custodial paternal families who are being hurt? What about the great number of female siblings not seeing a brother but four days a month? And here is something that the Senator will not hear from the “Womens Rights” lobby, roughly HALF of all custodial mothers with MALE children will be the ones screaming about this issue when that child is marginalized in his child’s life.
  • Republican Senator Tom Apodaca should know that we hear DAILY from non-custodial families in Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC who have court orders that are being broken by custodial parents, and they are spending thousands of dollars in court asking Judges to deal with this contempt and Judges just overlook it.
  • Under our current system of Family Law in NC, the object is to win a custody battle and parents are doing the most disturbing things to each other and children in order to win a custody battle. After winning, the parent who is significantly marginalized in a child’s life works harder to win the next day in court, and the custodial parent works just as hard to prevent that. This eighteen year cycle Senator is having a great impact on Children in NC.

Tom Apodaca

NC Fathers message to Senator Tom Apodaca and other Republican/Democrat lawmakers in Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC Regarding Domestic Violence and Family Law:

NC Fathers believes that Domestic Violence is an insidious problem that needs to be eradicated using all available tools. The problem with our current Domestic Violence lobby is that many are using this issue as a political football to politicize an agenda, bring in more grant money for their organizations, and increase their political stature within the organization. Domestic Violence receives over one billion dollars annually in funding and there are many organizations who want that money. Unfortunately, under this system, as long as Domestic Violence is an issue, they will continue to get this money for their organizations. In short Senator Apodaca, they NEED for Domestic Violence to remain an issue so that the programs, services, and jobs within the organization stay intact.

All Domestic Violence organizations in NC are strictly opposed to shared parenting because they say that this will allow more Fathers to kill and hurt their children and former spouses. The problem here is that by setting this hurdle, they have effectively said that ALL Fathers in NC are potential abusers when that is not the case. And, why is there no hurdle for Mothers who kill and hurt children? According to the DOJ and CDC, 40% of Domestic Violence offenders are Women, yet nobody is talking about violence at the hands of women or in domestic partnerships in the LGBT community which is at the same levels as heterosexual marriages.

Due to the emotional level of Domestic Violence, Judges in NC will routinely allow false allegations of Domestic Violence to proceed to conviction because they they know there is an enormous lobby that is well funded and it is safer to allow a false conviction. This has opened up a culture where parents are using false allegations as tactical tools in family court to gain a tactical advantage.

Senator Tom Apodaca should know that NC Fathers approach to Domestic Violence is that this issue needs to be eradicated completely and if we allow politically motivated groups to make this more about gender warfare and who is doing it the most, then we are never going to deal with the core issues.

NC Fathers is asking Senator Apodaca to view a document that the single largest child support enforcement lobby has to say about Fathers, yet remarkably we are doing everything possible to instigate and create Fatherlessness.

Republican Senator Tom Apodaca and Buncombe, Henderson, and Transylvania County NC Non-Custodial Family Voters

Senator Tom Apodaca and State Republicans should be aware of the divorce rate and rate at which parents are conceiving children outside of wedlock in Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC. In fact, over 40% of children born in the United States come from unmarried parents. Given the divorce rate, and the numbers of Fathers and Families who have zero rights to their children, we believe that roughly half of the population in the Senator’s voting district have direct ties to the issues above.

Now a word to non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends of these families, there are many well funded and highly entrenched lobby organizations who derive money and political importance in seeing you alienated from your children so that you further their organization’s agenda, as well as keeping funding alive for state resources. Until you realize your importance as voters and rally around your own organization, these policies of the family courts and legislators will continue. This includes all women in paternal families, families from every racial and ethnic background, and political party affiliation. Our organization is very well aware of the power that the NC State Bar Association and others organizations yield, but aligned around these issues non-custodial families bring far greater power given our numbers.

Again, we hope that you will join with us by signing up on our MAILING LIST and collaborating with us on FACEBOOK to help send the message to Republican Senator Tom Apodaca that Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson County NC non-custodial families matter, and that we are tired of being marginalized in our children’s lives.

Show Support by Copying and Pasting the code below to your Website or Blog To Help Send this Message to Senator Apodaca:

Please Ask <a href="">Senator Tom Apodaca</a> to bring Equally Shared Parenting to Buncombe, Henderson, and Transylvania County NC children.

NC Fathers and Republican Senators in Buncombe, Transylvania, and Henderson NC


December 18, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized |


  1. Yes, I would have to agree with this information. But this also takes place in Forsyth, Randolph, and Guilford County. This happens a lot more in the Guilford County Court System. I am Pro-Active with some Legislators in North Carolina to support my plan to reform the Judicial System in regards to Family Domestic Law. Help me work for you.


    Comment by 360TriadeDirectory | December 18, 2012 | Reply

    • Hi Sheree,
      Thanks for commenting on our article to Senator Tom Apodaca, Have you joined us on Facebook? Once there, send our social media people a message.


      Comment by stompkinsnc | December 18, 2012 | Reply

  2. There is a Senate Bill 627 fro grandparent’s rights currently in the senate in the rules committee. I personally spoke with Apodaca yesterday. In no way is he willing to let it out of rules. He wishes it to die. And since he is chairman of the rules committee, he sadly has that power of authority. He stated he was sued in 2004 by some “crazy grandparents rights group in federal court and he was not ever going to help them.” He states this comes up every year and every year he shoots it down. He is not in this chairmanship position working for the people of this state. He has a personal vendetta and that takes precedent over families. Let me know how I can help in getting this man out of office.


    Comment by Elaine Cobb | May 11, 2013 | Reply

    • Elaine, thanks for commenting on our blog about Republican Senator Tom Apodaca. You have to realize that the family courts have become an industry where many people are profiting around the system by which two parents and extended families fight for 18 years, and this includes grandparents. As long as one parent is winning, and the other parent is losing, there there will be fighting and lawyers getting rich. As long as one parent is marginalized, he/she will pay greater child support which means greater Title IV-D money coming from the federal government to pay for social services programs. As long as parents are fighting, there will be sick kids for therapist to medicate, diagnose, and fix. As long as one parent wins while the other parent loses, there will be greater domestic violence for which non-profits can get state and federal money to run their political and ideological campaigns. Under an equal system, where parents and grandparents are maintain their status as a direct parent there will be less fighting.

      With that said, I doubt Senator Apodaca cares what Buncombe, Henderson, and Transylvania parents and grandparents think or go through as long as they are triggering money for this industry. We certainly can’t get the Senator to respond to any of these problems.


      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 11, 2013 | Reply

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