NC Fathers Rights

Contempt Motions and Hearing in Family Court – Child Support and Custody

Contempt Motions and HearingsBefore discussing the issue of a “Contempt Motions and Hearing in Child Support and Custody Matters Within the NC Family Courts“, it is important to note that NC Fathers is not a law firm, nor are we attorneys and you should not take this as legal advice. If you find that you need to file a contempt hearing or motion in the NC Family Courts, or one is filed against you, then you need to contact a licensed attorney within your county. This article is not legal advice, and here for educational purposes only. NC Fathers is an advocacy organization for all NC non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members who we believe have had enough with the bias in the family courts, and watching custodial parents having free reign to do as they please. And, with a readership of over 1800 people daily, inevitably the issue of contempt hearing and motions come up with our group as it relates to child custody and child support enforcement proceedings. A contempt motion or hearing is simply something your attorney (or you if you are representing yourself) files with the court on your behalf when you feel that the other party is not following orders imposed by the courts. As a non-custodial family, you are probably aware of contempt hearings brought upon you by child support enforcement when you are late or not paying child support and you realize that you always lose these hearings. The State of NC is very serious about child support, if you don’t pay (or can’t pay which is usually the case), then you will likely face jail because you are in contempt of a court order. The court does not care if you lost employment, have a serious medical issue, your dying, or a family member is having a medical crisis, you are to pay child support and there are no discussions about it. Of course, as non-custodial parents and families, we are all aware that custodial parents have extensive tax incentives, social services incentives, and financial incentives to rely on that you will never have access to. However, what we find is that when you, the non-custodial parent files a contempt motion because perhaps the custodial parent is refusing to follow the visitation agreement or some other order of the family courts, things aren’t as serious are they? If you are found in contempt of court, you go to jail. If a custodial parent is found in contempt of court, which is unlikely, then they are usually only given a warning, or multiple warning, and they walk from court laughing knowing that you just spent over $1,000 to get absolutely nothing.
NC County attorney
In fact, we have a non-custodial father within our organization who has filed 15 contempt motions over the past eleven years after the custodial mother refuses to follow the visitation agreement and she is never held liable for her actions and this father has spent over $18,000 on the contempt hearings in attorney fees. This is in addition to the $22,000 child custody hearing. Unfortunately, his case is not unique. Of course, none of this should be of shock to you if you are a father or woman in the paternal family as it is common knowledge in our culture that fathers rarely win anything within the NC Family Courts except jail sentences for being in poverty.

Contempt hearing in child support and custody case

If you are reading this site as a NC non-custodial parent, step-parent, grandparent, or other family member then we encourage you to review OUR GOALS, consider joining our MAILING LIST, and FACEBOOK PAGE as we continue with our mission of reforming the NC Family Courts to be less divisive and more about equally shared parenting. Furthermore, we hope you will click on the RED and BLUE graphic below to get a rather exhaustive reminder of the contempt that Judges have for non-custodial families in NC.


Judges, Contempt Hearing and Motions Within the NC Family Courts

NC Fathers would like to be able to tell you that there are ways that you can win in the NC Family Courts if you find that you are best served in filing a contempt motion or hearing in a child custody matter, but the reality is that family court Judges across this country have been trained by lobby groups that have a vested interest in the “mother take all family court” system and it does not appear that anything is changing. We think this is not changing because there is no organization of non-custodial families or Father’s rights groups that hold Judges and Politicians accountable, where there are very well funded and entrenched groups that advocate for mothers.

However, we are not suggesting that you give up on the process or your children if the custodial parent is not following a court order, and we strongly encourage you to document your case very well and present everything to your attorney. But having said that, I would not expect much. Each day in North Carolina, custodial mothers do very bizarre things that have serious impacts on their children and non-custodial families and they are rarely held accountable. This has allowed mothers to be socialized into thinking they can do anything they want to and will never be held accountable. Or, if they are held accountable, it’s very insignificant.

Probably the single greatest problem we have with filing a contempt motion or hearing in the NC Family Courts when it is over visitation is that for going on eight decades now just about everyone in the family court system has had no problem talking about “deadbeat fathers” and “absent fathers” and the minute that we do stand up for our kids, we are usually forced to sit down, and sit down hard. Additionally, NC law provides for reimbursement for the person filing a contempt motion in the family courts to be payed by the offender if the contempt violation is found to be validated and ruled as such, but this very rarely happens.

NC Father Contempt violations

A Sure Way For NC Non-Custodial Families To Win a Contempt Motions in Child Custody and Visitation Hearings

NC Fathers strongly believes that the minute NC non-custodial families, from all ethnic, political party affiliation, and economic backgrounds unite around one central organization and have their voices heard through voting and activism, Politicians and Judges in NC will take note and provide a better family court system that is truly built around equality and the best interest of the children, not the best interest of mothers and children only. Moreover, we can not express enough how important it is for women in paternal non-custodial families to start speaking out on the biases that are systemic withing the NC Family Courts. Each times that a NC Father is sent from the court room hanging his head after spending thousands of dollars to have his visitation upheld via a contempt motion and was denied that, many women in paternal families get stung as well.

Please, consider sharing this important article on Contempt Motions and Hearing in Child Support and Custody Matters Within the NC Family Courts with other NC non-custodial families on sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ so that greater awareness is obtained, and we have can build an organization that works to reform the family courts.

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9/2015 – Updated tags for Contempt Motions and Hearing in NC Family Court – Child Support and Custody


March 20, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. I brought a contempt motion in the wake county nc family court and everything you just stated in this article is 100% true. I am so tired of biased judges and lawyers that tell you everything will be fine when it really won’t be as a father


    Comment by Danny W | March 24, 2013 | Reply

  2. Danny W. – You are so right in your comment regarding a contempt motion. My son has been through the same thing but in Cumberland County NC. His attorney did absolutely nothing and it appears that attorney’s and judges are totally against FATHERS PERIOD. His attorney kept telling him everything will be fine and I will fight for everything you wanted. SHE did nothing, she never produced any of the evidence I sent her, she ill advised my son on certain issues and I ended up filling an official complaint against her with the NC Bar Association. But they too, are against FATHERS, especially if they’re in the military. I could have done a better job representing my son then his attorney did, however, it costs us an arm and a leg to hire her and we’ll never see that money again.


    Comment by Toni | May 21, 2013 | Reply

    • Toni thanks for commenting. Daily, literally by the hundreds we talk to non-custodial fathers who have filed contempt of court motions in family court over and over and over and each time they spend significant money only to have a Judge slap the custodial mothers hand and say never do it again. You are very correct, and I applaud you as a woman and non-custodial grandmother to stand up to the family courts. We hope you will join us on Facebook or Mailing list and help us end this abuse.


      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 21, 2013 | Reply

      • You are most welcome. I’m so upset with the judicial system in NC I could just spit. I see so many men get tossed aside over “unfit mother’s”” I can’t hardly stand it. The men of NC really need to rally together to get this injustice changed. I for one, will help in anyway I can. When my son was in Iraq fighting and three months after he arrived in Iraq, his wife called him and told him she didn’t love him anymore and that she wanted a divorce. Needless to say my husband and youngest son knew of the telephone call my son in Iraq received from his ex-wife (now) but since my doctor said to keep the stress out of my life, I wasn’t told of what was going on. Then one day the phone rang and I didn’t recognize the phone number but picked up the phone anyways. It was my son calling me from Iraq. He asked me if I knew what was going on and I told him no, then he proceeded to tell me and I just about broke down, but I knew I had to be strong for him. Here he is fighting in Iraq and this dumb stupid woman calls him and tells him this stuff…My biggest fear was he needed to keep his mind on what he was doing over there so that he came home safe and sound. But his ex didn’t give a rats behind about him because she already had a boyfriend. This happens constantly in the military, but when it hits home, then its a different story. When any of my son’s life is in danger you had better watch out because the Mama Bear will come out of me in a heartbeat. And now that I see that this injustice doesn’t only happen to military men, I’m doing all I can i.e., writing everyone I can to start a petition to get this bias laws changed. I wrote a letter to our local newspaper and it took two times before they’d publish it, but they finally did. I’m sure it didn’t settle well with everyone, but then the truth hurts. Please know that I’m standing with you and if I can do anything to help, please don’t hesitate in letting me know.


        Comment by Toni | May 22, 2013

  3. I just wanted give fathers hope.. keep trying and never give up on your children. As my son was one of the lucky ones who won sole custody of his son and the mother who was proven by the courts to be unfit. But this took lots of work and detective work by us to prove our case.We hired a very good atty and gave him all the ammo we had on her. But men can win custody just keep working at it. He has won child support also but the mother is refusing to pay. She has already had a contempt of court charge for not paying. Judge ordered her to pay an additional $20 a month for arrears. and still she had not paid. I see another contempt charge in her future and maybe this time she will go to jail to learn she has to pay.


    Comment by Grandma the Protector | June 5, 2013 | Reply

    • Who was your son’s attorney?


      Comment by Sister fighting for justice | December 4, 2013 | Reply

  4. @Toni who was your son’s attorney?


    Comment by Heather | September 22, 2013 | Reply

  5. My fiance has been fighting a child custody battle since July of 2012. The “mother” prolonged the court date for over 6 months. All while not getting to see her daughter. The proof we had on the so called mother was unreal. Drugs, domestic violence, no income, no job, no stable home….the list keeps going. The biased judge let her show her ass in court, cussing, pitching fits, literally acting like a child. Then ordered her 50/50 custody. While still standing in the court room she stated she didn’t want the child that week and she needed my fiance to provide a carseat and clothes for the child. The judge didn’t see any red flags there either!! Within a month of the order being made the child witnessed the mothers boyfriend beat her up and the child was hit in the process. The mother abandoned the child, again, for 5 months this time. She has a history of abandoning the child. They went back to court and we finally got a decent judge! He ordered the mother to only have supervised visitation on Saturday or Sunday from 10am-7pm at a specified location. The mother violates this order every weekend and has had zero repercussions for this! We even called the cops, per the order says, and they said they couldnt intervene. Even though the order says enforceable by law!!! My fiance has spent over $9,000 and the mother still gets away with everything!! All while he is the supportive, fit, and stable parent! Tell me how this is right??? Next step, filing a motion for contempt!! Just to spend more damn money for it to probably be laughed at. Our court systems need an eye opener!!!


    Comment by Sam | March 4, 2014 | Reply

  6. I have witnessed this first hand it started mid july last year when my x denied my two weeks in the summer going as far as to call the hendersonville sheriff when i tryed to pick them up. A week later i found out by the clerk of buncombe county family that an emargency custody order had been filed and granted. After sevrel emails to her attorney Adam Bull who refused to send me a copy of the order. I was Pro Se and aware that by law he had to. I had a run in with a slum loard in Hendersonville that filed an evction when i turned him into the city for code violations. My x knew i moved into a new place my twins stayed at the house with me she even told the kids they should not be there because it was in the woods and there would be bears. Her sister who workes for Henderson County DSS was at my friends house who lived next door doing a walk through saw my dog in the basement i had asked my friend to watch here over night so i could move called my x. After a nasty text from my x on how my dog had no water andhadccused me of being homeless. I sent one text asking her sister to stay out of our case she filed stalking charges i sent her one text in over a year. After sevrel emails where Mr Bull tryed I make it look like I was homeless and could not verify my address I finally sent me what he filled. His and my x’s statement was that during an unrelated investigation by DSS they found i was homeless and living in someones basement without the owners consent. That my last visit was held at a homeless shelter and that i am currently homeless not able to verify my address. Now keep im mind i was served the summons from her sister for stalking that was thrown out due to no proof. Mr sent a certified letter to the same address that i signed for. And after speaking with Henderson County DSS i found out there has been anything against me after finding out who my sister inlaw was the Derictor informed me of what i already knew. Due to conflict of intrest they could not get involved with me. Now keep in mind all the filings were sent the my home address Mr Bull claimed he could not verify. At the hearing i proved what was filed by Mr Bull and my x were false even having my x state on the stand that DSS found i was homeless after i gave the letter to her and the judge from DSS she had no choise but to state the truth that her sister stated this to her. The order was dropped. Mr Being The dishonest attorney still tryed to make a case i was homeless at the time he filed. The same address he has sent certified letters to that i signed for. The 19th of December i get a text from my x stating”Im finaly devorced from you!!do not bother picking up the twins that i would get a copy of another emergency custody order in the mail the next day that I was not to see the children untill the Judge Dray made her final ruling in late Januray and i am blocking you calls untill further notice” i have not seen or spoken to my kids to this day even loosing Christmas nothing was filed to the court till 5 days before court and given to me 1 day before court after i forced Mr Bull to send me what he filed. He stated that i had repestation due to the court apointed attorney for his motion to show cause for not paying my child support he or my x would not set up with child support enforcement who i was court ordered to make my payments to. The custody was still being handled by me along with my motion to show cause he sent me the motion to modify my custody order 1 day before court. Having rented a home from an unlicensed property manager that had been taking my money and not paying the homeowners mortgage the home went into forclosure in an act of revenge the person who had commited fraud contacted Mr Bull and stated untruthful statments that she testifyed to in court not given any time to get my own witness to prove she was bias. I only had the case i had against her and a text from her stating she would make sure i loose my kids. I pointed out all the lies filed by Mr Bull and stated by my x on the stand having her admit she violated my visitation and that Mr Bull told her to even got her to admit the parent alianation she was doing. Her justification for blocking my text was harassment for texting her to speak with my twins that i could only contact through her cell phone so she could control when i could talk to them despite having a landline that i could have called them on also stated by her on the stand. I purchesed a large RV after decovering the only homes i could rent were not sutable due to me not making enough money to rent a place over 500 a monrh the rv park i rent a site from is only 320 a month with everything inclued i have a separate room in the back for my girl and my boy and i sleep in separate beds in the front its a large RV having everything DSS requires for custody. But since i do not get mail there its not suitable. The judge made the statement to me that she was not making her desision due to my financial state but what was in the best intrest of the children. Now she is going to revoke my visitation because i cant pay 1200 a month in rent like my x or drive a brand new car as well but if i miss my child support that i cant pay if i rent a home that the court considers suitable. But it has nothing to do with my financial state. O and i am going to be ordered to pay for a mental evaluation Mr Bull and my x have asked for making the false statment that im mentally unstable nit a word to her for not allowing me any contact with my twins or to Mr Bull for the countless false statments he has filed.


    Comment by Shayne Thompson | February 10, 2016 | Reply

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