NC Fathers Rights

NC County Restraining Order Abuse

Restraining Order crisisNC Fathers believes that Restraining Order Abuse in NC is at epidemic levels and they are being used successfully to alienate children from one parent, line the pockets of lawyers who defend the accused, providing the framework for political endeavors by many Politicians and Sheriffs, used as tactical tools to win custody battles, and helping the domestic violence industry here in North Carolina to use manufactured statistic from false allegations to drive up their fund raising efforts. NC Fathers is NOT a law firm, and nothing in this article should be taken as legal advice. If you are the accused who is facing a NC Restraining Order then please seek out a lawyer. NC Fathers is an organization of NC non-custodial families who are seeking family court reform, social services reform, and for the presumption of equally shared parenting for children after a divorce. You can help our organization simply by joining our mailing list and our Facebook page where you will have the opportunity to learn about our mission and interact with others in our group who have faced restraining orders that were brought against them wrongly. Additionally, if you identify with this article, please consider sharing this article on the many social networking sites so that others can learn more about our organization and goals.

restraining order abuse nc

NC Family Courts and fathers county lawyer can advice you on social services complaints and petitions

Posts related to NC Restraining Orders – NC Domestic Violence lobby, Contempt Violations in Custody Matters

How NC Restraining Orders encourage Domestic Violence

NC Fathers invites every NC non-custodial parent, their spouses, and family members to click on the blue and red graphic below to get a list of issues we have identified as being wrong with the family court system here in North Carolina which includes how false allegations and restraining orders are frequently and commonly used to alienate the other parent from children in divorce and to put the accusing parent in a better light to win custody of children more easily. The remaining data in this article will focus on how the issues described above allows for restraining orders in NC to be abused by Judges, Magistrates, Sheriffs, and others.

Restraining Order Abuse

NC Restraining Order Abuse Perpetuated By County Officials

Key facts related to NC Restraining Orders:

  • Restraining Orders in North Carolina are handed out like candy on the “better to be safe than sorry” principle. While this may sound good, feel good, and look good, the reality is that it exacerbates most domestic violence scenarios. Whenever Judges and Magistrates issue an order that removes one human from his/her home, prevent access to their children, causes job loss, and loss of reputation based on the word of another human being without due process or proof, then you are essentially throwing gasoline on fire.
  • As with human nature, humans will use existing laws, and loopholes in laws to further their agendas. We typically see Restraining Orders being sought to put the other parent in custody battles and divorce of having to spend their money defending themselves in court (while the other parent does not) on simple allegations that required no proof, then having no money left to fight for their children in the family law system. Furthermore, if a restraining order can be issued for a year, this allows the accusing parent to establish consistency with a children which is one of the foundations for Judges when deciding custody battles.
  • There is absolutely no prosecution of accusers when they file false restraining orders on false allegations, and the accused has to spend money getting the arrest off their record.
  • Restraining Orders in North Carolina (and Domestic Violence)  are prosecuted under “preponderance of the evidence” rather than “innocent until proven guilty.” This means absent any proof or witnesses, one can still be found guilty of this crime if a Judge believes that it is likely violence was committed or there is a need for the restraining order. For Judges and Politicians who use domestic violence as a political tool for re-election, we believe that they allow these alleged crimes to proceed to conviction under preponderance of the evidence to stay in the good graces of the highly popular NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and their federal money.
  • Think this does not affect women? Women in paternal families see this abuse daily, and mothers with male children will likely experience this in the future once their sons are married or in a relationship. Furthermore, we do see restraining orders against women being used on a frequent basis, especially in custody battles. Also, one may want to consider this.
  • It is important to remember that Domestic Violence is a very serious matter, but in NC the definition of abuse has been lowered such that almost anything can be considered domestic violence where a restraining order can be sought. This includes raising one’s voice or slamming a door.

Combating NC Restraining Orders By Non-Custodial Families

If you are a NC non-custodial parent or a member of their family, it is likely that you have had a prior restraining order placed on you which affected your employment, ability to see your children, live in your home, and have access to your personal belongings. It is also likely that you are the non-custodial parent because a restraining order was sought against you and this used in your custody battle. Furthermore, it is likely that the restraining order was given based on zero evidence or proof and you were either denied due process in defending yourself, the Judge used preponderance of the evidence to find culpability and you were summarily removed from your children’s life permanently.

NC Fathers encourages NC non-custodial families to contact NC Legislators and encourage them to make changes to NC Restraining Order laws that are being used as tools to win custody and as terrorism against the other parent.

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9/2015 – Updated tags for NC restraining order abuse NC


April 18, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Great article. There is no doubt restraining orders are a automatic and common thing that women use when they separate or divorce even if there is no reason for it. Having a restraining order allows the mother to perpetuate herself as a victim which causes her friends and family to surround her and give her support. And you are correct, by having the order it puts her in a much greater position to receive custody although I’m not sure why since it is pretty much automatic that they get custody anyway. Also, when these orders are handed out for harassment, they are infrequently given to men who experience stalking and harassment but automatic for women.


    Comment by Harrison D | April 18, 2013 | Reply

  2. My ex-wife filed a restraining order on me 5 hours after filing for divorce, a clear sign to me that she didn’t want me having anything to do with our children, and it worked. Even though the Judge found that I neither harassed her or stalked her, or committed domestic violence and dropped the action, it was enough to allow her to move to Arkansas and establish consistency. Thank you for this article and keep up the good fight for NC parents.


    Comment by Jacon Peresian | April 18, 2013 | Reply

  3. NC Restraining Orders are a joke, my husband gets one on him almost monthly from his crazy ex and the Judge keeps finding no fault but we still have to spend money with an attorney.


    Comment by Alison | April 18, 2013 | Reply

  4. I go to court next week on a restraining order violation where I was stupid enough to believe after my wife called ME over to the house to talk about our divorce. I went and hours later a sheriff’s deputy was at my house. This is insane. Thank you for saying what nobody else is saying and I sure will be telling other Men about this. It’s harassment


    Comment by George | April 18, 2013 | Reply

  5. I am currently under a Carteret County NC Restraining Order that was filed WHILE I was away on business. Now how could my wife feel threatened or in immediate danger when I was 7 states away and she can’t show any emails or texts where we had a fight (which we didn’t). What happened was she decided to do the divorce while I was out of town, change the locks, etc… and get a protection order that apparently was given by Carteret County NC Magistrates based on nothing. It’s a very sick process. Now I can’t see my kids and that who this system is REALLY hurting.


    Comment by Carteret County Dad | April 20, 2013 | Reply

  6. My ex gained an ex-parte Temporary Restraining Order, which she never filed for a Hearing, and apparently never intended to file, simply to have an “Official” looking document (it WOW fooled the School Principal and all our son’s Teachers!) that stated I am a ‘danger to my son’ (huh?) and will continue to be such, so am not allowed to see him (…until the 10 days run out.) Yet I discovered that no one looks at the little dates at the bottom of such “Official” looking (must be true!) documents, but everyone saw ‘official’ words stating I am “a danger to my son!” Later, the CPS Social Worker who actually did see our son and I together over time, and at play, and who actually interviewed our neighbors etc, then testified I was a wonderful Dad sharing an excellent relationship with our son and should definitely have 50/50 custody. Despite this, a Judge (in Granville Co) then reduced my son’s time with me in half at my ex’s request. I was speechless. There are tricks out there on the Internet teaching unethical parents how to subvert the Courts, and thus their child’s best interests. This I sadly know only by experience. There are also very unethical lawyers and their ‘associates’ who aggressively demonize good parents, thus harming the child even more. Harrison D (above) has it right about “gaining sympathy” for all those who NEVER met me ‘know’ I am a monster, yet all those who knew us as a family prior to the false DVPO (used to gain immediate custody- higher child support not based on NCCS guidelines-along with UN-equitable asset distribution) all see my son and I as we really were and still are, loving, warm, caring, understanding, trusting, and very well bonded 🙂 Still, she gets all the sympathy and support, while I get to fight on my own in the Courts and his Schools. C’est la vie.


    Comment by Bob-0 | April 22, 2013 | Reply

  7. False Domestic Violence Reports are out of control…


    Comment by Navin R. Johnson | July 26, 2013 | Reply

  8. Magistrate J.D. Guthrie of Carteret County will issue these protective orders with absolutely no probable cause or evidence, or proof. I subpoenaed Guthrie to court to answer for his acts, and the Justice Department in Raleigh sent a lawyer to argue that Guthrie had “Judicial Immunity” and therefore could not be made to testify. Yes, that is right. judicial officials in North Carolina cannot be made accountable for their corrupt acts. WE HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM HERE FOLKS, AS THIS IMMUNITY BREEDS CORRUPTION. Write your state representative, in this district it is Pat McElraft, P. O. Box 4477 Emerald Isle, N.C. 28594. We must repeal this law, and repeal immunity of these corrupt court officials.


    Comment by Rudder | November 4, 2013 | Reply

  9. Don’t bother with Representative McElraft, she is worthless, no, worse than worthless. She promised to address abuse of this law, and to date has failed. She is a do nothing representative. A rich person from Emerald Isle. If you want someone to thank for the abuse of this law, thank her.


    Comment by ozzie | November 26, 2017 | Reply

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