Governor Pat McCrory and the Family Courts

NC Fathers is reaching out to Republican Governor Pat McCrory and asking him to work with both Democrats and Republicans in bringing about comprehensive family court reform for the presumption of equally shared parenting to children after a divorce, breakup of a relationship where no marriage was in place, and to end abuse of the NC Adoption system where fathers not married to mothers are losing out on the ability to be biological parents and seeing their children adopted out without ever knowing about it. NC Fathers is an organization of non-custodial families who are on a mission to end their century long socialized visitor roles and payment providers they are stigmatized with by the courts, who understand that children need two equal parents and extended families, and who are tired of watching an industry encourage parental warfare for profit. Governor Pat McCrory needs to hear from North Carolina non-custodial families, to include parents, grandparents, step-parents, aunts and uncles, and other family members who are daily being marginalized in their children’s lives when they want equal parentage and access to their children. If you are in a NC non-custodial family, then we encourage you to join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE where you can have your voices heard and collaborate with other families who seek change. We also ask that you review OUR GOALS and encourage other non-custodial families in your communities to join our organization so that our collective voices and voters can send a loud and clear message to the Governor that we are tired of the systematic bias and divisiveness in the family courts. NC Governor Pat McCrory should also be clear that NC Fathers is not a “Men’s Rights” organization or a “Fathers Rights” organization as we advocate for non-custodial mothers and women in paternal families who get equally hurt in this system. NC Fathers is asking that NC non-custodial families extensively and routinely share this article on Governor McCrory on sites like Google+, Twitter, and Facebook to help propagate this message.

Wake County Child SupportPosts related to NC Republican Governor Pat McCrory – NC Adoption Crisis, NC Senator Richard Burr

Why isn’t the Governor fixing these issues in the family courts?

NC Fathers is asking Governor Pat McCrory and his legislative staff, along with NC non-custodial families to click on the red and blue graphic below to get a reminder of the devastating divisiveness the NC Family Courts ask families to operate under for 18 years.

NC Republican Governor Pat McCrory and Non-Custodial Families

The first thing NC Fathers is asking Governor Pat McCrory to understand is that non-custodial families consist of a lot of citizens in NC who come from every cultural and religious background, political party affiliation, race, gender, educational background, socioeconomic background, and the family courts are creating us each and every day. NC Fathers is the only organization reaching out to these families, and we are finding a very angry group of people who are ready to join with us in this fight. Additionally, the Governor should understand that for many decades, special interest groups have attempted to define this fight as a Mother vs. Father or Woman vs. Man fight and this couldn’t be further from the truth considering the following information.

Roughly half of NC custodial mothers today have male children who will one day be pushed to the margins of their kids lives if they experience a divorce and have children. Where do you think these non-custodial grandmothers (who will also be marginalized as well) will stand then Governor McCrory? With Equally Shared Parenting?

Also, the NC Governor must understand that if being a marginalized non-custodial father is bad, then it must be bad for non-custodial mothers who represent about 15% of mothers in North Carolina. Our organization does not advocate for either Mothers or Fathers independently, we believe that BOTH PARENTS and their families provide far greater resources and opportunities than social services and child support enforcement can ever hope to achieve.

Furthermore, Governor McCrory must realize that there are many women in non-custodial families who get equally hurt when their grandchildren, step-children, nieces and nephews, and brother and sisters see them on average only 4 days a month assuming the family courts didn’t allow the custodial parent to move them seven states away.

With regards to NC Child Support Enforcement, NC Fathers believes that federal enforcement of parents who make a decision not to be involved in their children’s lives when they understand they have children, and who have resources to financially support them is very appropriate. However, to tell a parent who does want to be an equal and active parent that they cannot and must submit to federal enforcement as a payment provider and visitor to their children is wrong. NC Fathers believes that the family courts are more focused on child support enforcement rather than building a system that provides a child as stable as possible family system after divorce or when a relationship between the unmarried parents ends. NC Governor Pat McCrory and NC Republican and Democrat lawmakers must realize that our organization is educating non-custodial families on why child support enforcement has become the standard by which one parent is defined, and it has a lot to do with politics and money. We are educating these families that the State of NC is receiving federal Title IV-D money on each dollar collected in child support that is then used to replenish Welfare money. In short, NC needs millions of alienated and marginalized non-custodial parents paying child support so that more and more federal money can be received into state coffers. If the NC Governor believes that this system is more beneficiary to children over these parents having their natural biological attachment with both parents then we have a problem. Governor Pat McCrory should also understand that there are many organizations and non-profits who have organized and found a way to monetize the inequality between parents and who make money from the system. One of the most notable is the NC Bar Association who gains when lawyers can bill and get retainers for 18 years when two parents fight. Unfortunately, when parents fight, the trauma ends up on kid’s heads. Another organization that has recently come out against shared parenting in NC is the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence who says that shared parenting will bring highly conflicted parents together on a more frequent basis and this will spur Domestic Violence. Additionally, that the more fathers who have access to their children, there will be increases in abuse of children. The problem with this theory Governor is that this assumes that the non-custodial parent is the only parent who has the ability to abuse children and creates a hurdle the non-custodial parent has to clear while the custodial parent does not. If the Governor does not believe this, we will be happy to provide ample evidence daily from across the nation where custodial parents kill and abuse children, and commit Domestic Violence. It is also important to keep this in mind, because of how the NC Family Courts operate, we know that one parent WILL HAVE TO BE labeled non-custodial, meaning they will likely only be getting four days a month with their children IF a Judge does not allow the custodial parent to move many states away. We believe this is much more of a spark for Domestic Violence than anything. Another spark? Perhaps Governor Pat McCrory has never been through a custody battle, but they are expensive and parents fight an average of two over 18 years. When fighting a custody battle, it cost EACH PARENT roughly $15,000 for a total of $30,000 times two over 18 years for GRAND total of $60,000. This assumes that neither of the parents fight minor battles over child support, contempt hearing, and modifications as those can easily add another $20,000 to the GRAND total. So which would the Governor of NC rather see $80,000 go towards, lawyers and anxiety riddled children or a college education, down payment on a home, money to start a business, or life saving medical coverage? Governor, is it possible this financial stress sparks increased Domestic Violence?

Lets take a look at the issue of Domestic Violence closer Governor McCrory, it’s OK that non-custodial fathers get four days a month with their children because it is some mysterious magical number that prevents men from killing their ex-wives and children, but if we give them fifteen days per month then something happens and suddenly there is mass killings? Really? One would think that these fathers would be so elated to be seeing their children and directly supporting them (empowerment) (equality) that Domestic Violence would be the last thing on their minds.

In the opening segments of this video, you see Governor Pat McCrory visiting schools talking with kids and educators, yet I bet he never asked where the non-custodial parents were. If he did, he would likely be told that their non-custodial parent is absent and disinterested. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Many of the school children in this video have had a Judge allow the custodial parent to move these children many states away from their other parent. Many of these kids fathers don’t even know they have children because there is no law requiring a mother to tell a father than he is a father. Many of these kids fathers are in jail because they can’t pay child support due to the economy or because they got hit with child support arrears for 10 years because they were never told they had kids. Many of these kids fathers are working two jobs and don’t have access to food stamps, medicaid, educational assistance, housing assistance, work assistance, and financial assistance like custodial parents do. Many of these kids fathers are putative fathers that by NC law have zero rights to their biological child because they weren’t married to the child’s mother.

In the video below, you see Governor McCrory talking with various groups about issues important to them, but noticeably non-custodial parents weren’t invited.

Unfortunately, there are many special interest groups and organizations who have come together in North Carolina who use gender and sexual politics to drive fund raising efforts and who get federal and state grants and money to drive parental warfare, and they will say and do anything to drive this agenda if it means political power. NC Fathers is asking NC Republican Governor Pat McCrory to rise above this and do what is in the best interest of children and real equality.

Governor Pat McCrory and NC Republicans and Democrats Must Hear From NC’s estimated 5.5 Million Citizens Who Have Ties To a Non-Custodial Family.

Earlier in this article, we pointed out the numbers of non-custodial families than exists in North Carolina, and the amount of their friends who witness what we experience within the family courts. We also pointed out that non-custodial families are a natural swing voter block given that we come from every major diverse background. And, that the courts create on average 100 more families per week in the NC District Courts. Can you imagine what can be accomplished if we all come together and send the message to Governor McCrory that we demand changes? Can you imagine what will happen if this article is shared 5.5 million times on social networks like Twitter and Facebook? Can you imagine a system where the anxiety, depression, and turmoil can be lessened after a divorce knowing that you will still be a vital part of your children’s lives that does not consist of just payment provider via a federal enforcement agency? Can you imagine a system where lawmakers create a law demanding shared parenting but do not address judicial discretion that allow Judges in NC to continue the century old bias? Can you imagine a system where the other parent moved your children 700 miles away one day while you were at work and never saw your children again unless you found $15,000 in cash to give to a lawyer? Well this system can be realized, but not until Governor McCrory hears your concerns, and not until there is a substantial organization that opposes the organizations who have an open door in Raleigh and who want you to remain marginalized in your kids lives at their profit.

In an effort to help send our message to Governor Pat McCrory that Equally Shared Parenting is the best option and interest for NC Children, we ask that you use the following graphic on all your social media profiles to show support:

Here is what we are asking NC non-custodial families to do. First, Governor Pat McCrory must hear from you, and he must read this article. Please CONTACT HIM and ask him and his staff to read this article and respond to you. If you prefer to call the Governor, he can be reached at (919) 733-5811. Second, extensively share this article on social networking sites. Third, use the comment section below to leave the Governor your personalized message regarding the NC Family Courts. This is your chance to collectively create a substantial document that his staff can not ignore. Fourth, identify five other NC non-custodial families in your family, or friends, and invite them to our organization as well as sharing this article with them. And lastly, repeat all of this monthly.

Governor Pat McCrory can be reached on Twitter @PatMcCroryNC or FACEBOOK.

NC Fathers welcomes any personalized non-form letter or pre-written response from NC Governor Pat McCrory on the material we covered in this article and will be happy to include it in this document and share with our growing social media presence and 5,000+ mailing list.

Show Support by Copying and Pasting the code below to your Website or Blog:

Please Ask <a href="https://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/01/20/governor-pat-mccrory-and-the-nc-family-courts">Governor Pat McCrory</a> to urge NC lawmakers to bring about Family Court Reform.