NC Fathers Rights

Senator Floyd McKissick, Jr. – Durham and Granville County Democrat

Senator Floyd McKissick Jr - Durham and Granville County NCNC Democratic Senator Floyd McKissick Jr is a member of the Senate Judiciary II who is tasked with deciding on new legislation that affects the NC Courts. NC Fathers is an organization of Durham and Granville County NC non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members from all political party affiliation, socioeconomic, cultural and racial background, and educational background who have had enough of the biased and divisive family courts and we are calling on Senator McKissick and other Democrats in the Senate to level the playing field, focus on equality, and bring equally shared parenting to North Carolina. If you identify with this article, we ask that you review our organization’s goals, join our mailing list, and collaborate with us on Facebook in an effort to get this message into the hands of as many Durham and Granville County NC non-custodial families as possible. Additionally, we ask that you share this article on Senator Floyd McKissick Jr with other families and parents on sites like Google+, Linkedin, Twitter, and Facebook to bring about greater awareness. As an attorney in North Carolina, we believe that Senator McKissick knows quite well how the family courts work, and we are also sure that he understands the enormous amount of money that is being made when two parents fight for 18 years and pay retainers which would end under equally shared parenting because there is nothing to fight about. While this scenario may be advantageous to lawyers in North Carolina, it is not to voters and children in Durham and Granville County NC who get extensively hurt when their parents and extended families are divided and fighting to win the coveted prize of custody and control.

Posts related to Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Senate Democrats in Durham and Granville County NC – Representative Larry Hall, Durham County Department of Social Services, Judge Doretta Walker

Senator McKissick, why wasn’t Derek Walker allowed to be an equal parent and Father?

Senator McKissick Jr and Durham County NC Non-Custodial Families

In the video below, Senator McKissick Jr shows that he has motives to protect NC youth, but will he go the extra mile to make sure that they also have both parents and extended families in a position to help these children?

If you are in a Durham or Granville County NC non-custodial family, be it a father, step-mother, grandparent, or aunt/uncle, you already know how difficult it is to watch as the courts value you more for how much you are alienated from your children and paying child support via a federal enforcement agency like you are some criminal, instead of how much time you are directly with your children supporting, nurturing, and loving them. However, other people and families may not understand the system for which we are about to expound upon. We ask that you click on the red and blue graphic below to reveal a rather long list of problems we have identified and which we are asking Senator Floyd McKissick Jr to respond to.

Granville County NC Senator

Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Durham / Granville County NC Non-Custodial Family Voters

NC Fathers is asking Senator McKissick to explain why two parents, when fighting a custody battle, end up paying around $15,000 per parent for just one battle. Also, given the national statistics, parents fight two of these battles in 18 years for a grand total of $60,000. When you take into account minor family law battles in the Durham and Granville County NC family Courts for child support, contempt, and other matters, you easily have parents spending $75,000+ over the life of the minor child(ren). Our question to the Senator is, would he rather see this money in the hands of lawyers, or this money used to things like a college education, to start a business, for medical expenses, or a down payment on a home?

As an attorney in Durham and Granville County NC, Senator Floyd McKissick Jr must understand one of the most unfortunate problems with the family courts that has severe consequences for NC voters. Without a doubt, the single most disturbing fact about family law in Durham County NC  is that there is a HUGE incentive to alienate a child from another parent. Here is how it happens: One parent decides to leave a marriage/relationship and makes plans while the other parent has no idea. The parent leaving the marriage/relationship contacted an attorney who told them as long as there is no order in place, he/she does not have to allow the other parent to see the child. That parent then leaves the marriage or relationship, likely moves out of state, forcing the other parent to find the other parent, get $7,000 (to start) to retain an attorney, and start the process. For those that CANNOT find this money, they never see their child again or signs an agreement that is not in their/child best interest just to see the child again. Unfortunately, this makes that parent LOOK like a disinterested parent because they signed an agreement assuming the role of marginalized parent. For those that can get access to money, by the time they get their ducks lined up, the alienating parent has established consistency which is a huge part of what Judges use in their decision making process. Judges routinely never look at how consistency was established because they just want to move through the other 30 cases and get home at a reasonable hour. This “pay wall” between parents and children is highly destructive and often times results in domestic violence and/or murder/suicide. NC Legislators like Senator McKissick and Senate Democrats really need to hear this scenario from you because it is happening on a very frequent basis daily in the Granville County NC courts.

Furthermore, we are asking Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and other Durham and Granville County Democrats to not buy into the politics of this message. This movement is not a Democrat vs Republican battle, Women’s Rights vs. Father’s Rights, or Male vs. Female. There are Women in non-custodial families that equal the same amount of Men being affected by this (grandmothers, aunts, daughters, step-mothers) issue. Additionally, Non-Custodial Families come from every political party affiliation, cultural and racial background, and socioeconomic background. This message is about children and their ability to be loved, supported, and nurtured by both parents and their extended families that no government agency in Durham County NC can ever deliver.

We realize Senator McKissick and other Democrats in the NC General Assembly will immediately deflect from this message out point out the numbers on Granville County NC fathers who are purposefully absent from their children’s lives as a reason to not bring reform, but this is disingenuous. This message is about non-custodial fathers who are active, who do want to support their children directly, who do visit, and who are wanting to be with their kids physically and are being denied this opportunity at the rate of seven per day per county. This is a lot of voters Senators, and it is a lot of African-American fathers, grandparents, and step-parents.

North Carolina

Democratic Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Durham / Granville County NC Social Services and Adoption Issues

As a legislator in North Carolina, Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and other Senate Democrats fully understand the relationship between child support enforcement’s mission to collect child support and federal Title IV-D money the State receives in collecting this money. If not, then we will explain here. Pursuant to the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458, when the Durham County NC child support enforcement agency collects $800 in child support, the county gets back roughly $689 from the federal government to be used to replenish social services money. The thinking here is that custodial mothers rely on social services programs when dads are absent. And, of course we support this idea. However, our problem is that we believe the State of NC is making ALL fathers absent via the family courts whether they want to be our not in an effort to maximize this money. Also, it is important to remember that parents paying child support where the other parent IS NOT receiving social services benefits are triggering this federal money too.

Senator McKissick, this seems like the State of NC legislators have found a way to monetize absent parents and then decided to just make one parent always absent via the family courts with an eye on helping with your budget woes in funding social services.

Here is Senator McKissick Jr thanking NC military personnel for their service, but is he aware that military fathers have an even greater hurdle to clear in having an equal relationship as possible with his children while serving in the armed forces because of family courts who deny him this right because of his service?

Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Senate Democrats in Durham and Granville County NC need to end the “putative father” loophole that allows mothers who are planning to adopt a child out, to not notify a biological father and give him the opportunity to raise the child. Our organization hears from fathers who learned about this long after it happened, and it is happening at a frequent rate now that 40% of children born in the US are coming from unmarried parents. Again, we realize that attorneys in North Carolina who do adoptions love this idea, but it is about as immoral and wrong as anything we can think of.

If you are a Durham or Granville County NC Democrat or Republican voter from a non-custodial family, you likely identified with this article. If you are Hispanic, Caucasian, Asian, or African-American, you probably identified with this article if you are in a non-custodial family. Additionally, if you are educated or not, and you are from a non-custodial family, you identified with this article.

If so, then we are asking that you strongly consider joining our Mailing List and Facebook page to help us build a massive organization of Durham and Granville County NC non-custodial parents who can have daily talks with Senator Floyd McKissick Jr and Senate Democrats about the issues discussed in this article.

Be sure to use the social sharing buttons to helping propagate this article on social networking sites!

On May 4, 2013 NC Fathers sent this blog to Senator McKissick and in the section below, we will provide his message to our 1900 daily readers if he decides to comment.

Show Support by Copying and Pasting the code below to your Website or Blog:

Please Ask <a href="https://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/nc-senator-floyd-mckissick-jr-durham-and-granville-county-democrat">Senator Floyd McKissick Jr</a> to urge NC lawmakers to bring about Family Court Reform.
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May 4, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized

21 Comments »

  1. I just saw this come across the mailing list. As an African-American father, I have to say that I hope the good Senator will take into account the fact that for many decades African-American fathers have been excoriated far greater than fathers in other racial groups. How can we be what they keep wanting us to be if there is no path to getting there outside this horrible system?

    Like

    Comment by Antoine | May 4, 2013 | Reply

    • Antoine, you have a very good point. Most Democrats are staunch supporters of social services programs, but one can not overlook the fact that fathers are being put aside for Title IV-D and the fact that enforcement focuses on African-American fathers more. Look at all the Sheriff’s in North Carolina who have “Deadbeat Dad” websites and what do you see most often? African-Americans? The reason for this is clearly NOT that they are notoriously bad fathers, it’s that they have a harder time with poverty when they can’t pay child support compared to other racial groups. I agree, African-American fathers get a far greater bad rap that fathers in other racial groups.

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      Comment by Karen | May 4, 2013 | Reply

    • Antoine, this is a very good question for Senator McKissick! I am glad you posted on this article because you are correct, African-American have a FAR greater problem in the family courts than Caucasian fathers. The media spends far too much time painting these fathers out to be thugs, dope dealers, and womanizers when in fact the greater majority of them are really good fathers. And Karen is correctly, for every white father on a deadbeat dad website, there are 9 African-American fathers listed. Furthermore, I just got off the phone with a grandmother in Forsyth County who’s son is having a very hard time in the courts and is currently in jail for child support arrears because the mother of the child waited 10 years to apply for child support and never informed this father that he had a child. Of course the Judge agreed to 10 years of back child support, a figure that most parents can’t pay up front and off to jail he went. Now this father is stigmatized, and nobody asks why the mother never told him giving him the chance to either be a active father, or be paying into the system to avoid arrears. If you do contact Senator McKissick, we woukld be interested in hearing what he has to say.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  2. Democrats are too busy courting Women voters to be interested in creating a fair system for fathers. If the system was fair, there would be less social services programs for women to escape what we are shoved into.

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    Comment by Timothy (Durham County Dad) | May 4, 2013 | Reply

    • Timothy, Senator Floyd McKissick might be inclined to go this route, but he can’t escape these figures 1) Half of all women in North Carolina have MALE children who one day will become marginalized in the courts, along with her as a grandmother. 2) For every father handed their hind ends in the courts, there are two women in the paternal family who get hit hard too (step-mom, grandmother). This is a LOT of women voters. At some point, African-Americans need to start asking Democratic legislators what they are going to do about the fatherlessness problem instead of wagging the same old tired story that fathers are naturally absent.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  3. I live in Granville County and just saw this on the mailing list. I support this site and want to thank your for helping our family and son understand what is happening to him. It is disgraceful that this system seems to be more about profits that kids.

    Like

    Comment by Lasheka Davenport (Granville County County Grandmother.) | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  4. This article is SPOT ON! I am a consistent Democrat voter and have for my entire life. Just last week I was handed a death sentence and can only see my daughter 4 days a month even though I petitioned the courts for joint custody.

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    Comment by Craig | May 4, 2013 | Reply

    • Craig, the NC Courts and Legislators do not recognize joint custody (shared parenting), thus there is no vehicle in the court process for that to happen unless you arrive at that plan outside of court. Many fathers think that the courts are going to be impressed that they aren’t the usual deadbeats and reward them as equal father. Won’t happen.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  5. Senator McKissick, I support this site and message, and I am a African-American voting Father!

    Like

    Comment by Dante | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  6. I am a father in Durham County who just got out of jail and I damn well want to ask the Senator why I have to go to jail for basically being in poverty and can’t find a job, but mothers get educational, food, daycare, job, housing, and other assistance and tax incentives to make ends meet and escape being seen as unable to care for their child. Take all that assistance away and see just how many deadbeat moms there are.

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    Comment by Zack | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  7. Thank You for this article, I was sorry to see the NC Senate not have support for the shared parenting bill before the Judiciary. When are these Senators going to realize they are throwing dang near HALF the population under the bus? Do they not look at Divorce statistics?

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    Comment by Jennie | May 4, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Jennie,
      This is a great question to ask Senator McKissick yourself. I do think they look at the divorce statistics, but they also realize the custodial parent lobby is MUCH bigger and have been at it for decades. We can equal their strength if you keep inviting Durham and Granville County NC non-custodial families to our organizations. Judges are creating us every day!

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  8. Senator, where is the party of equality when we start talking about family law and fathers rights? I thought equality meant equality?

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    Comment by Tamara (Durham County Step-Mother) | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  9. I almost puked when that Senator pandered to military families. I am a father who gets about 2 hours time with his daughter because as a Judge put it, I am deployable. Yet, mothers in the service get to see their children when they serve. It’s a complete biased system that makes me sick. They talk crap about bad fathers, then when we stand up, we get shoved down!

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    Comment by SSGT Cameron DeLaney (Onslow County NC Father at Camp Lejeune) | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  10. Great post, just saw it on the mailing list. Keep up the good work in working with Democrat and Republican Senators. We need this reform!

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    Comment by Janelle | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  11. I believe that Senator Floyd McKissick Jr should support equally shared parenting because my party is about equality and I am a dad who loves his children.

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    Comment by Darnell | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  12. I can tell you this, the minute I see Democrats bringing shared parenting to North Carolina is the day this Republican switches parties. This is an insanely biased system. Thank you for this post!

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    Comment by Campbell | May 4, 2013 | Reply

  13. I have read some of the articles on this site and as a female SOME I agree with. Unfortunately, in my situation the father of my unborn child (I am 5 months pregnant); refuses to have a conversation with me concerning future shared parenting. I wish him no harm but the relationship did not work out but a child was conceived. I have spoke to him via texts and phone conversations but hostility exists. He has a lucrative federal position therefore job security is great. I was inform by him in our last conversation because of my occupational pay; I won’t need his assistance financially or emotionally in the rearing of the child. I was quite disappointed and right now consulting with an attorney. Based on my attorney conversation he will have to pay child support and I can advocate for future financial needs for my child. In my case, I attempted to meditated with the father but he refuses. Why would any man refuse to solve child and custody issues outside the NC courts? I guess I have to go the court route but I wish courts did not have to get involved.

    Like

    Comment by Van | February 15, 2014 | Reply

    • Van, thank you for commenting on our article about Senator Floyd McKissick.

      This website is for fathers who DO want shared parenting and to be active fathers and are denied that ability via the courts. If your situation is exactly as you say it is, then we very much advocate for this man to have to pay excessive amounts of child support.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | February 15, 2014 | Reply


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