NC Fathers Rights

NC Judges advise parents about child custody mediation on Youtube

NC Judges advise parents about custody mediation on YoutubeIt appears NC Judges have taken to social media (Youtube)  in an effort to advise parents on how the family courts operate and there is a strong emphasis on custody mediation. Having come across these videos, we obviously decided to watch them and do so with an open mind. In this article, we are going to provide our assessment of the message these Judges have for parents and their families, and we are going to ask one, just one very simple question of non-custodial families in particular. That question is, given your experiences in the NC family court, do you REALLY believe that these Judges have the best interest of children in mind, or is there a balance of best interest of children, and serving the many special interest groups who have formed around the family courts in order to monetize the process? The fact is custody mediation in NC does not work because Judges are unable to overcome the 80 yr systematic bias they have for one parent over the other, and have socialized parents and probably everyone in North Carolina to understand that the goal is to win custody and control of the kids at any cost.

there is no excuse for domestic violence

There are simply too many incentives to not be the parent with custody, and until Judges and Legislators deal with that, this entire system is going to be a joke. Everyone knows that if you have one parent adamant that she/he is going to win custody, then the entire system is pointless. And, these malicious parents know that their chances are very high given the history and statistics on the courts choosing one parent over the other. In short, why mediate when I know I’m going to win everything in court? Why mediate when I know I will have all the control? Why mediate when I know the other parent just wants to get into court where there is a system built around winning? Our belief is that the day the courts take away ANY chance of one parent winning, these parents will stop fighting and focus on working together because that is the path that has the best outcome for children winning.

After we break down these Youtube videos on custody mediation put out by NC Judges, we are going to explore the many special interest groups that have a stake in the NC family court industry. Under each video we will provide some commentary and thoughts on each one.

It is refreshing to hear Judge Enochs tell parents that they should not allow a Judge to hear their custody case, but unfortunately Judges fail to recognize that the malicious parent wants custody mediation to fail so that he/she can get into court and win at any cost. In listening to Judge Sue Burch talk about resolving custody cases, we had to laugh because the reality is these cases are never resolved. The courts are ridiculous, it is a never ending cattle call of the same parents filing motion after motion after motion in system that is setup for only one to win. When one parent wins custody, the other parent tries to unseat the other, then the other parent tries to prevent it and you end up having 18 years of fighting. This is good for lawyers, but very detrimental to children.

In viewing the video above, we simply have to ask non-custodial families, are you pleased with the disposition of your child custody case? How about you step-parents, grandparents? Do you like being only allowed to see your kids or grandchildren four days a month because someone HAD to lose a custody battle? Do you like being in a federal enforcement agency who takes your money instead of directly supporting your children as an equal parent?

Honest with each other? Are you kidding me? The goal of our current child custody system is to win, at any cost. This system NEEDS for each parent to be the most horrible person on the earth so that the parent wanting custody can win. The fact is most child custody matters are filled with extreme manipulation, lying, and false allegations aimed at forming a tactical advantage in the courts and NC Judges allow it.

We honestly do not know where to begin after viewing the video above and will just allow non-custodial families to sit back and pray or laugh.

NC Judges fail us using social media
So you thought that child support enforcement is simply a federal program aimed at supporting children who have an absent parent and who refuses to support his/her child huh? Most people do, but what they also fail to realize is that many times the parent ordered to pay support was PREVENTED in doing so directly as an equal parent and was forced into this federal agency. Why? Because the State of North Carolina gets upwards of 300 million dollars a year from the U.S. Federal Government in collection of child support and paternity establishment. Pursuant to the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458, for each dollar collected in child support, the government will send back an equal match of federal money they can use for social services programs. In short, the State of NC does not need equal parents directly supporting their children, they need one side of the family court ordered into marginalization four days a month and pushed into this federal agency that helps the State pay for the rising cost associated with social services programs. If NC parents were successfully doing mediation, they might actually learn to get along and share custody, which would mean no ability to enforce a parent. For those of you who have been in child support court, you will immediately recognize that the workers seemed more interested in how much money you had that day and payed no attention to whether you were an equal parent and even had access to your children as a parent, step-parent, grandparent, or aunt and  uncle. These child support enforcement workers are under federal mandate to get money, NC Judges know it, and Legislators need it to pay for Welfare.

Earlier we talked about incentives to not mediate by a malicious parent. Why mediate when that parent needs financial assistance, food stamps, housing assistance, educational assistance, daycare assistance, medical and dental assistance, job assistance, and tax incentives to live? Only custodial parents receive this, and if we had an equal system where both parents were empowered, it would likely mean less benefits and incentives for the one parent who wants to win.

NC Judges fail us on domestic violence as it relates to custody mediation.

Domestic Violence in North Carolina is an insidious problem that is going to require every man and woman on this planet to stop it’s existence, but the problem with the response to Domestic Violence is that it has become monetized and used for political purposes. And, the lobby groups that have their eye on this issue are one of the biggest advocates of the current court system where one family is pushed as far away as possible, while the custodial family enjoys power and control. Using the issue of Domestic Violence to gain political power and money is disgusting, and it is actually exacerbating violence, especially for those in the family courts. Each year, Congress hands out 550 million dollars a year to special interest groups who have formed to do Domestic Violence work. These include book writers, and professional lobbyist who want to make a living from this issue. If you look on the website of the NC Coalition Against Domestic violence you will only see data related to male on female violence, and zero information about female on female violence, male on male violence, and female on male violence. Additionally, the causes for domestic  violence, as explained by NCCADV, is patriarchy and gender oppression despite a wealth of data showing that substance abuse, mental illness, poverty, job loss, emotional disorders, and anger management problems being first and foremost as the causes for domestic violence. By this organization singling out only Men, it is clear this is an organization using gender and sexual politics as it’s lobbying efforts, and this spells disaster for women in paternal families, and even Mothers with male children who will get caught up in this web of deception when they are Fathers.

If you subscribe to the idea that domestic violence laws and lobbying should be centered on Men ONLY, while overlooking other gender types and sexual orientation, consider this example: If you have two children, a male and female, and both are throwing temper tantrums, you do not only correct that behavior in the child who may be doing it 10% more and let the other child throw them. This is exactly what the NCCADV is doing and NC legislators are listening to them. This organization is the single most influential organization preventing shared parenting in NC because they have legislators believing that all Men are natural abusers of Women and Children, including your sons, brothers, nephews, and fathers.

NC Judges and lawyers make money when custody mediation fails.

Family court battles in North Carolina are big business. The average cost of a custody battle is $20,000 per parent. The latest studies show that parents will fight two of these battles over an 18 year period along with minor battles over contempt violations, visitation modification, and child support. Parents in NC are spending roughly $90,000 with lawyers over 18 years and if there was nothing to fight over, or mediation worked, then parents would not be forking over potential down payments on homes, college educations, and medical coverage fighting. The NC Bar Association, along with the Domestic Violence lobby is adamantly opposed to a system where parents are not fighting and spending money with lawyers. Thankfully, in recent weeks we have met a few lawyers who have joined NC Fathers who are expressing outrage over this and we want to thank them.

NC Judges and social services

Since social services agencies in North Carolina are completely dependent on Title IV-D money from non-custodial families, and they need a lot of families not having regular access to their children so that they pay greater child support and trigger more federal money which keeps them employed and being service driven for custodial families. We believe that social services is very abusive with non-custodial families because of how the system is setup and opens the door for overly aggressive child protective services investigations. Without marginalized visitor and non-custodial families, there would be no money to maintain their employment.

NC Judges and lobby groups love when custody mediation fails.

As we have shown, the family court process is big business with many different groups having political and financial interest in and there are countless lobby organizations who fund their organizations by funneling members to their cause using gender and sexual politics and misinformation. A simple search of the Internet will reveal lobby groups who believe Fathers are natural sexual and physical abusers that should never have access to their children, and vice versa. The problem here is that when one of these groups get big enough, their membership and money yields significant power over politicians who need their votes. For going on 60 years now, lobby groups that represent custodial parents, child support enforcement, lawyers, and others have had a seat at the table when legislation is considered. The reason that non-custodial families keep getting the short end of the stick is because there is not one single lobby that is united and representing them and their children.

Until you as non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other families realize that you are a HUGE group of voters with considerable power, and who use that power through unification then the current joke of the family law process will always be like it is and no amount of right or wrong will ever change it. Politicians and Judges understand four things 1) Money 2) Power 3) Votes and 4) The lack thereof.

There are roughly 4.7 million people in NC who are either directly or indirectly related to a non-custodial family, and these numbers EASILY allow you to affect numbers 1-4 above.

July 22, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. LOVE this blog.


    Comment by Greg | July 23, 2013 | Reply

  2. The solution to the mystery, the factor that determined most cases, turned out to be the question of child custody. Women are much more willing to split up because — unlike men — they typically do not fear losing custody of the children. Instead, a divorce often enables them to gain control over the children.

    ”The question of custody absolutely swamps all the other variables,” Dr. Brinig said. ”Children are the most important asset in a marriage, and the partner who expects to get sole custody is by far the most likely to file for divorce.”


    Comment by Navin R. Johnson | July 25, 2013 | Reply

  3. More “fair and impartial” judicial headlines…

    Fathers disappear from households across America
    Big increase in single mothers


    Comment by Navin R. Johnson | July 25, 2013 | Reply

  4. Married To The State

    The single mother does not resist the state’s encroachment. On the contrary, she is our society’s principal claimant on a vast array of state services, without which she cannot manage her children. When the state usurps the roles of protector and provider and disciplinarian, the state becomes the father…


    Comment by Navin R. Johnson | July 26, 2013 | Reply

  5. Ripped Apart

    Divorced dads, domestic violence, and the systemic bias against men in family court.


    Comment by Navin R. Johnson | August 3, 2013 | Reply

  6. Divorced Dads Can’t Catch A Break

    “Fundamentally, men get screwed in family court,” says one veteran divorce lawyer on condition her name not be used. “Judges make sure that assets are split equally, but they don’t do that on custody and child-related issues.”


    Comment by Navin R. Johnson | August 20, 2013 | Reply

  7. Missing dads is a problem 
not only in poor 

    In the ensuing decades, policies focused on propping up single mothers economically rather than addressing fatherlessness.


    Comment by Navin R. Johnson | August 24, 2013 | Reply

  8. Whats wrong with family court…


    Comment by Navin R. Johnson | September 12, 2013 | Reply

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