NC Fathers Rights

Shared Parenting Caution: Beware Of Preponderance Of The Evidence In Domestic Violence

Shared Parenting Caution: Beware Of Preponderance Of The Evidence in Domestic Violence CasesThis article on shared parenting and how caution must be used when considering preponderance of the evidence in domestic violence cases within the family courts is not legal advice, nor is it written by a lawyer. If you are facing a domestic violence charge within the criminal courts or family courts, we do not encourage you to use the data in this article to proceed with your case. With the upcoming release of the Divorce Corp movie, shared parenting is getting a lot of attention on social media sites, the blogosphere, and traditional media leaving many advocates to sense that a more fair and reasonable family court is soon near and you will have the opportunity to regain some level of normal parenting with your children. This organization does not share your enthusiasm because we think that if any organization could wave a universal magic wand over the world and declare shared parenting law of the land, there is still a massive 800 lb gorilla in the room that is going to mean nothing changing. In fact, it could make things much much worse.

First things first. Every single international group pushing tirelessly for shared parenting always states that “In the absence of abuse, neglect, or violence, we think shared parenting is a great idea” and every legislator who sides with shared parenting feels the same way. Therefore, it is likely that any state or federal amendment that passes in favor of this idea will contain that language. At face value, it sounds good because nobody wants for a child abuser to have access to children. But there is a hidden gotcha.

Let’s delve into the world of domestic violence laws in America to see the hidden obstacles laying in wait for any future litigants in the family courts who may be trying to hammer out shared parenting.

Related: Visit Yes She Does to see state by state female perpetrated child abuse and domestic violence.

Very few people understand that the definition of domestic violence in all U.S. States have been changed in the past decade to include what most would consider non-violence. Each day this organization talks to individuals who tell us that they are not worried about a domestic violence charge or allegation because he/she isn’t harming anyone physically.

The only organization we know of dealing with the information contained in this article is Stop Abusive And Violent Environments.

Here is the legal definition of what domestic violence is according to the NC Bar Association and likely mirrors laws in a majority (if not all) of U.S. States:

“Domestic Violence is attempting to cause, or intentionally causing bodily injury, or placing the victim in fear of imminent serious bodily injury. Continued harassment can constitute domestic violence if it causes substantial emotional distress.”

Notice that you do not need to hit or actually cause bodily injury, you just have to place a person in the fear of being hurt or in some level of emotion. And, the terms “harassment” and “emotional distress” are pretty subjective terms open to serious interpretation.

Here is what domestic violence in NC legally looks like:

  • A married couple verbally fighting, both slamming doors and cursing at each other. The first person to the phone and who is able to call 911 and says the magic words “I feel like” is the victim despite mutual fighting. The other person is going to jail and will likely lose employment, access to personal belongings for a year, access to his/her kids, access to bank accounts, and housing.
  • A divorced couple, where one person has purposefully alienated a child from another parent in another state causing the alienated parent to experience great anxiety and fear and who calls repeatedly to make sure his/her child is OK? The alienator can call 911 and say “I feel like he/she is harassing…” and it’s violence.
  • A divorce or custody battle where all one has to do is say “I feel like” he/she is going to do something. Or, “I feel harassed” and want protection.
  • A couple who is fighting, where one person leaves with the car and causes the other person to FEEL cornered and unable to move about freely.
  • A person who demands a joint account bank card from another person so he/she can remove all the cash in the account when deciding to leave a marriage. If that card is not handed over, it is harassment and domestic violence even if the emptying of the cash in the account leaves the other person with no money to feed himself/herself.

No evidence, no witnesses, just feeling and emotion and/or interpreted fear and harassment (even if the argument and actions are mutual) is enough to remove one parent from everything he/she owns and children in the United States.

It should also be noted that the definition of domestic violence is federal law, which U.S. States have adopted and are held accountable to by the federal government as dictated in the Violence Against Women Act. Additionally, the burden of proof in all domestic violence cases is defined by preponderance of the evidence rather that the stringent “innocent until proven guilty” or “clear and convincing” burdens of proof.

So what does preponderance of the evidence mean? First, it means that you are not innocent until proven guilty, and there does not have to be any clear and convincing evidence or witness to alleged violence, harassment, or attempted harassment. All that is needed is a Judge who FEELS like the LIKELIHOOD of domestic violence occurring in his/her mind is greater than 50.01%. Or, just because he/she wants to, because of his/her discretion.

In the United States, the allegation IS the evidence.

domestic violence and judges

So How Does Preponderance Of The Evidence Fit In With Shared Parenting?

Before we begin this section, let’s take a look at where we are in regards to domestic violence. A person who feels like you are harassing him/her has had you jailed absent any evidence or witness pursuant to mandatory arrest laws. The allegation alone is all the evidence that is needed for an arrest and law enforcement is trained to follow it strictly.

When facing trial, or a custody battle, all a Judge needs is a feeling that domestic violence happened even if there is no evidence or witnesses.

So let’s now bring our article full circle.

As the movie Divorce Corp has pointed out, there is a international system called family law controlled entirely by the people who have the opportunity to benefit from it financially and politically. There is no oversight, no objections, no discussions permitted. And we know that Judges and Lawyers want NOTHING to do with shared parenting.

Now let’s imagine that National Parents For Families And Children And Shared Parenting somehow forces every State in the nation to bring strict legislative shared parenting laws that Judges must follow as GUIDELINES. But, they do not have to consider shared parenting if there is domestic violence even if the guilt is based on a slammed door.

What is going to happen is, this international system is going to get clever and train lawyers and other experts to find domestic violence in ALL child custody matters as a way to shut down shared parenting. And it’s not hard to do with preponderance of the evidence since all Judges need is a feeling to find guilt. Can you imagine what this would look like in the criminal courts?

preponderance of the evidence is bad in the family courts

This is going to lead to a allegation of domestic violence in every child custody matter, a Judge using preponderance of the evidence to find fault, and they are back in business with a family court system that is a joke but very profitable for the one’s that have 100% control.

In short, until preponderance of the evidence is defeated as the burden of proof in family law and domestic violence cases, shared parenting laws are worthless and legislators know it. They are going to throw us a carrot to make us feel good knowing that their buddies are going to defeat it using their discretion.

When virtually every custody battle in the United States has a violence allegation attached to it as a tactical tool, what is going to happen is those that are against shared parenting are going to start documenting a massive rise in violence statistics that they will use to convince Congress that shared parenting was a bad idea and we need strict new emergency laws to undue everything. And oh yea, we need you to allocate us $500,000,000 for us to address this issue yearly which will open another industry.


  • The lowered definition of domestic violence coupled with preponderance of the evidence insures that there will be plenty of parents in court battling for which an enormous amount of billing can be done.
  • The greater the statistics are, the more money Congress throws at domestic violence for which there is an enormous industry ready to suck up this money. These organizations actually benefit from violence or a never ending perception that violence is epidemic.
  • Shared parenting can be defeated on the premise that if men have equal parenting they will kill their wives and children and that women never commit violence.

We likely will never see an end to domestic violence because there are simply too many people and organizations who benefit from state and federal money allocated in the hundreds of millions annually. Simply put, there are books to be written and sold, research grants to be received, careers built, university classes taught, non-profits to fund, political platforms to build, legal battles to be won all on domestic violence actually existing and being a perpetual problem that involves women being victims and all your sons as likely offenders. We have allowed others to make the mere allegation of violence evidence in court rooms, lowered the definition of violence so low that raising a voice can remove your sons from his home, career and children permanently, and allowed the one’s who profit to decide guilt on no evidence or witnesses. And unfortunately, the one’s to blame are ourselves by not uniting around a central organization or group of organizations tied together to put a stop to it legislatively.

So, are you still excited about the current state of shared parenting discussions? There is much work to be done folks.

We hope that you will share and link to this article as we work to bring about shared parenting that maintains strong domestic violence laws that are gender neutral and EVIDENCED based so that the system that wants very bad to maintain their international collusion and profiteering over fighting parents does not find a way to subvert all the work we have done.

Your comments below are also welcome below.

domestic violence politics

December 30, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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