Kent Harrell For New Hanover County NC District Court Judge In 2014?
So it’s Kent Harrell for District Court Judge in New Hanover County NC is it? Well good, it’s about time that we see some new faces in the New Hanover County district courts because quite frankly a large part of this organization is from non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members who tell us the courts in the county as it relates to child custody and child support enforcement matters is highly divisive and marginalizes many people. If you are a non-custodial family member, you know all too well what marginalization feels like after the courts relegate you to visitor roles in your child’s life instead of empowered co-parent. And, you know all too well that the court is focused on how much child support you pay via the federal system rather than how much direct financial, psychological, and emotional support you can give your child as a equal and empowered parent, step-parent, or grandparent. Kent Harrell for district court Judge? Ok great, but let’s see where he stands on THESE ISSUES. Additionally, if you are a New Hanover County NC non-custodial family member we strongly encourage you to join our FACEBOOK PAGE and/or MAILING LIST to stay up to date on our efforts to bring about family court reform and we hope that you will extensively share this article with other families in the county via Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and other social networks so that families can join in this conversation.
Update 2/14/2014 – Kent Harrell speaks. See update at the end of this article.
If we had the opportunity to speak with Kent Harrell, no doubt he would recite the long used script of “It is all about a child’s best interest” in the family courts because that best serves the industry that surrounds the courts. Let’s take a look at that industry now.
- Upon separation from a marriage or relationship breakdown, one parent leaves the relationship with the children and there is nothing in the law to prevent that parent from moving hundreds of miles away and/or preventing the other parent (and family) from seeing the child again. This cost the parent with child in hand $0 to do. Conversely, it costs the other parent upwards of $7,000 to fix. Oh you don’t have that money? Well guess what, under our current family law system, if you don’t come up with that money you never see your child, grandchild, or step-child again. With this in mind, we ask the Kent Harrell for District Court Judge campaign to explain to us how this is in the best interest of children not to ever see a parent or grandparent again? Purposeful and court ordered parental alienation in the family courts is rampant, it is very real, and it is very destructive.
- The typical New Hanover County NC family court battle costs around $17,000 PER PARENT and studies show that these parents will fight two in 18 years for a total of $68,000. Additionally, these parents will fight minor battles over child support and modifications for a grand total of around $90,000 expended by parents over 18 years. Best interest of children of lawyers Mr. Harrell? Oh that is right, this is why Judges encourage mediation as the best route to go in the family courts. Ok, lets educate the Kent Harrell for District Court Judge campaign on how mediation works in NC.
- Why on earth would one parent mediate when the family courts for the past 70 years have socialized one group of parents to KNOW they are going to win custody and everything that comes with custody? It sounds noble Kent, but that is not reality.
- Everything that comes with custody? Surely, as a practicing lawyer, Kent Harrell knows that with custody and the other parent having 4 days a month visitation that child support of several hundred (sometimes thousands) dollars a month comes into play. Add in the fact that custodial parents get put at the top of Section 8 free housing, daycare subsidies, Medicaid that could not have been gotten without custodial parenthood, educational subsidies, job programs, food programs, tax incentives, and many other programs all offered to ONLY the custodial parent, and we again have to ask, why mediate? Why would it not make more sense to empower and help both parents Kent? Why do we need one marginalized parent to help trigger federal Title IV-D money to help another parent? Best interest of children?
- We would love to hear from the Kent Harrell for New Hanover County NC District Court Judge campaign to explain to us why for the better part of 60 years have we put a lot of time and effort into encouraging absent parents to be more active when the courts are equally involved in creating unequal absent parents who likely gave up working within a biased system that requires money that another parent does not have to have in order to play ball?
- Mr. Harrell, why are we putting parents in jail for inability to pay child support when they have a major illness, illness of a close family member, loss of employment, or other major unforeseen life event while we give every single government subsidy known to custodial parents to escape financial hardship then excoriate the parent we don’t help in the public as a deadbeat parent? How exactly does this help children to visit a parent in jail because he/she had financial problems that we don’t allow to affect the other parent?
- What do we do about the fact that the State of North Carolina has become dependent on federal Title IV-D money to pay for social services programs and therefore the state needs marginalized parents paying child support and having little time with their kids as opposed to being actual hands on parents? What a great way to further breakdown families and marriages Mr. Harrell.
Further Issues New Hanover County NC Non-custodial Families Need To Remember
NC Fathers sees your importance in a child’s life as an actual hands on parent instead of federal trigger of money the state uses to maintain federal programs that are being bled dry. It is also important to remember that many Judges and legislators try and make this a mother vs. father issue or woman vs. man issue and we just want to make it very clear that there are many women in paternal families who have it handed to them daily when the father of a child is marginalized. Let’s be clear, there is a 70 history of men getting the bad end of the stick in the family courts, but the fix to this is not to create more non-custodial mothers so that non-bias can be claimed. The fix is to empower both parents, take away any reason to fight in court (nothing to win) and put the focus of the court on which parent is working the hardest to include the other parent in a child’s life. From this, you will see parents go from doing everything possible to excoriate another parent in the hopes of winning a custody battle to working hard to include the other parent. This is what we would like to see the Kent Harrell for District Court Judge campaign push if he becomes elected.
Furthermore, non-custodial families in New Hanover county need to realize that you come from every political party affiliation, racial and cultural background, and socioeconomic background and therefore make up a huge amount of votes in the county that could bring about family court reform in one election cycle if you wanted to. If you are tired of being treated like second class visitors and ATMs to your children, then fix is to unite around an organization that can advocate for you.
Thankfully, we are in a position to be the organization non-custodial families find after leaving court, and we hope you will join our organization and help bring reform.
Update: In a Facebook comment by two supporters of NC Fathers, a question was put to Kent Harrell about family court in which he responded:
“ I’ve had cases where 50/50 custody worked well but I’ve also had cases where the parents were so hostile to each other that they sabotaged the other parent and the child ended up being used as ammunition. Whether a 50/50 custody arrangement can work depends on the parents and the child(ren). Hope that answers your question but if not, send me an email at kent@kentharrell.com and we can discuss it further.”
In other words, if the parents get along, 50/50 works. If not, then 50/50 does not work. Sounds reasonable right? Wrong. What happens when one party does not want 50/50 and creates hostility and conflict knowing that it will end any talks of 50/50 as this commenter pointed out in a reply to Kent Harrell:
“So in other words, if you don’t want to share custody, want to move hundreds of miles away, and dispose of the other parent, just create a hostile environment. What about when the custodial parent is the one being hostile? Seems to me if the courts started to socialize people into the notion that the parent who does NOT work with the other parent will be the one losing custody will cause parents to trip over each other to be nice. As it stands now, the game is about excoriating the other parent to win. There is your conflict.”
Tags: Kent Harrell for District Court Judge in New Hanover County NC
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When Child Support is Good, and When Child Support is Bad for NC Fathers (click the image below)
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I think as long as non custodial parents send a sufficient amount of child support to help take care of the children involved; the co-parenting would naturally happen as opposed to the “visiting role” people who don’t help provide for their children in a significant way. I know with my situation, when my ex husband sends ample support where I can could t on his contribution to help provide for our children, I am way more obliged to coparent with him and keep him included and involved since he is helping provide. When he does not help with the responsibilities– I feel resentment when he wants in on the fluff. And I’m angry at him for allowing me to struggle to provide for our children; and to allow our children to go without. Also from a custodial parents in Charlotte, NC’s perspective— the courts do NOT enforce consistent and sufficient child support– Mecklenburg County has even changed its mission statement to move away from that.
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Non-custodial parents roles aren’t to make sure you are supported so that you can support the children, our role is as a equal parent supporting our own children directly. Your entitlement theory of “as long as you do what I say, I will let you have…” is exactly what is wrong with the courts. They have socialized you into thinking your control everything and make the rules.
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After only a few generations of corrupt government meddling in private family issues, we have created a culture and society in which a majority of the female population is chronically suffering from “entitlement princess syndrome”.
Destroy your family, Destroy your husband, Destroy your children…and get financially rewarded for doing so.
As the Virginia Slims ads says, “you’ve come a long way, baby!”
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Thanks for the ongoing information you provide. I have been fighting the battle of non-custodial Dad for over a decade and I know how it is. The best interest of our children is to have to involved parents, not just another court date. However, for many, this is the only alternative for real change. As a Father I have been fighting in court to find my custody order unconstitutional. Visiting my daughter just “every other weekend” violated the 14th Amendment by making me a “second class parent”. I have already tried this case in NC district court (3a), NC court of Appeals, and the NC Supreme Court. Now I am preparing to take it to the US Supreme Court. A win here would really change things. I am a dad and not an attorney so I would appreciate any suggestions. Are there any other cases to support non custodial dads like this? Michael Goetz – http://mikes-pc-shop.com/dad – (252)753-0072 – mike@mikes-pc-shop.com
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We are good enough to work in county ER’s as nurses and doctors, law enforcement officers, to die for our country, to handle your taxes and financial worth, to teach children, to bury your loved one’s, to market your business, to make sure you have running water and electricity, to empty your trash cans, to fix your car, to make sure there is gas to pump in your car, to watch your children at daycare… yet the State of NC Judges and Legislators will only allow us to see our own children 4 days a month.
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Janice, funny how that works huh? This would be a great statement to make to your local legislators and Kent’s campaign.
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Interesting, I went to High School with Kent Harrell and come to find out he does not think I should have equal parentage of my child because my ex-wife refuses to get along with me?
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This is what Judges don’t get, we are voters, real people, working in the community. For some reason Judges only see custodial parents as real people. You come into contact with us daily, Judges are creating us by the droves daily. Keep letting them know about the organization.
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That was not his response. If you check out the actual facebook post the author is referring to, then you will see his complete answer, not just bits and pieces. He also encouraged both this author and the man who presented the question the option to sit down and talk with him. Kent is a wonderful man, who wants what is best for the child, no matter whether the parent is the dad or the mom. He has done a lot of guardian ad litem work and really tries to do what is the best interest of the child. Yes a lot of people have been hurt by the court system, however Kent knows the law and works diligently to protect the child.
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I read the facts, I copy and pasted his statement word for word. We are not disagreeing that he is a wonderful man, and we make no claims to how he will conduct himself as a Judge. But there is a clear 80 history here of complete bias that we must contend with. If he becomes a Judge and people tell us he is not biased, then we will praise him. Note that our article simply asked questions and made no statements.
In fact, our article is not meant for Kent, it’s for half the population of non-custodial families and voters to realize that the only path to reform is not talking with Judges and legislators but garnering a 10,000+ member (like .0001% of NCPs in the state) plus family members to prevent governor’s from being elected forcing both parties to reform.
I’m sorry, people have been talking to Judges for 80 years about the family courts. This is why we didn’t take Kent up on his offer. Our goal is to find 10,000 NCPs plus two family members and start handing it to Governors until they get it.
This won’t be a hard task given the anger level and numbers of NCPs created daily.
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I mean seriously, Judges and the industry surrounding the family courts stand ready to marginalize his own son when he becomes a father. I sure hope Kent and his wife are about change.
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I tell you what, if you can explain how this scenario is in the best interest of children, I will contact you at your email address and make arrangements to send you $200. This happens daily in NC and not one single Judge or legislator discusses it.
Parent A and B separate. Parent A takes the kids and leaves the home, moves 8 states away. Does not answer phone calls from Parent B inquiring about the kids. It cost Parent A $0 to do this. Parent B has to hire a lawyer starting at $7,000+ JUST to get before a Judge. If in poverty or lower middle class, and can’t get that money together, he, and his family never see the child again.
Explain it.
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Then, again you should talk to Kent face to face. You are showing bias against him, without speaking to him 1:1 or in a group. The only way to facilitate change is to be part of it, not try and make things worse. See what Kent’s ideas are for change. There are people in the world who do try and do the right thing, and Kent is one of those people.
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Unfortunately Kent would be run out of town if he discussed reform. The lawyers are making $80,000+ off just one family over 18 years. Kent knows the NC Bar is dead set against reform. Kent is likely a good man, honorable, with a good heart caught up in a massive industry ready to chew up anyone who who speaks against the system. You think I want to put my face out there and be retaliated against? Not a chance. My earlier challenge proves that family law is about money, not kids. “Best interest of a child” is a script designed to appear human. Nothing about my challenge says best interest. Nothing about pitting two parents against each other for 18 years to win something is best interest. Nothing about jailing one parent for money problems while giving one parent 8 major state and federal programs is about best interest. I’m sorry, there is no best interest here.
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Love how candidates for judges and legislators say that it is only about the children but suppress the fact that if you don’t hacve money to get into a court of law you will never have a relationship with your child. It’s about the money and politics no way around it.
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My husband’s ex-wife keeps making false allegations of domestic violence even though each time he had 6 to 7 people testify that he was at work when she claimed he hit her, and Judges do nothing to stop it. I’m guessing because if they made her stop there would be no billing? I’m thankful that Judges in the county see through the tactics but how does one make it stop and surely she will claim he was abusive in likely further modifications.
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You are probably right, she creates a lot of billing for lawyers, and Judges do not want the culture of false allegations of domestic violence to get out because it helps in their billing cycle and politics. Keep in mind that Judges are scared of feminist and their lobby groups that do not want anything to do with false allegations even though everyone knows it happens.
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I was a faithful 3 day a week father who recently became a one month in the summer dad because a New Hanover County Judge allowed my ex-wife to move to New Mexico because she met someone new and took a job there. Your are damn right I am supporting this organization.
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Jeffrey, this is very very common and something that happens hourly in the NC and New Hanover County courts. It’s been going on for over 60 years.
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There is a bigger picture here that judges are too stupid to see because right now it makes theme and their colleagues a lot of money and that is ideological groups and political organizations who want to destroy the current idea of marriage and family and rebuild it to what it looks like for them.
Let’s hope this affects this candidate’s son in the family courts in the future then watch him and his wife turn on a dime to what this organizations has been saying.
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Terrance, I get what you are saying as this has primarily been a father’s issue but there are also non-custodial mothers who need our support as the courts try to correct 60 years of bias. We can’t let them create a new generation of marginalized families and must hold them accountable for strengthening both parents regardless of gender.
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I want to remain anonymous because I live in Burgaw NC and know Kent Harrell personally. He absolutely knows the raw deal I got in the courts 16 years ago so I hope he will use this information if he becomes as District Court Judge.
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Are you kidding me????? Joint custody is fine as long as parents get along but not if one parent refuses to get along? Does this judicial candidate have ANY idea how frustrating this statement is when the custodial mother refuses to get along and I have to be denied access to my son because “conflict” is used in court?
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Tony, that is exactly what this candidate seems to be saying but let’s not forget there are many organizations and lobby groups who have open doors at judicial retreats that teach them ONLY men and fathers create conflict.
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The Kent Harrell for Judge campaign will likely say that this organization has valid points and we all need to discuss them PRIOR to election. After the election, the now Judge won’t give a damn about what a non-custodial family has to say.
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Are you saying the 60 history proves this?
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The dice are loaded and the game is fixed before you even enter the courthouse.
Create conflict and “win” a valuable prize- a miniature human being(s). Then the other prizes follow…..a “free” house in which to store your miniature human being(s). More conflict….more false allegations….more prizes flow from the big top tent of the judicial freak show. Every precious little tax deduction and its new handler deserves a vacation……so the less than honorable stooges also loot and hand over the former family vacation home.
No money???….no problem. File a few more false court reports and police reports and you too can sell your soul and “your” newly minted children on the courthouse steps and receive regular monthly installments of cash, assets, etc in exchange for the only childhood “your” kids will ever have.
Animal shelters are more honorable and humane than the “family” courts and the inhabitants that line their walls.
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