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Why are there so many absent Fathers in NC?
Please join our low volume ANNOUNCEMENTS ONLY mailing list so that when it comes time to notify you of pending legislation as it relates to Non-Custodial Fathers and Family Members we will have a way to contact you. Also, as we contact NC Legislators advocating on your behalf, we will send their responses to this list so that you can stay informed at the next election on who supports or does NOT support your desire to see and parent your child equally.
NC Fathers is also now on FACEBOOK and TWITTER
It is vitally important to get EVERY SINGLE Non-Custodial Father and members of his extended family on this list so that when it comes time to send Judges and Legislators a message we have the power to back it up.
Please, encourage others to join this list so that we can reform the NC Family Law Courts.
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NC Fathers Rights 
i have made mistakes i have paid for them. but you baby daughter of mine are not one of them. i am trying to do the right thing and the cards have been stacked against me. i love you baby girl i will not stop fighting..
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I have been falsely accused of hurting my children and prove my innocence in court. My childrens mother still received a 50-b against me. I have proof that she is the one that has been hurting our children, and my children are now with me but not legally. Even though my ex says she can’t take care of them anymore and me and my fiance are willing to, I still have been unable to file for emergency custody(my children ARE in danger with her) and received food stamps or medicaid for them. My ex still receives STATE assistance even though she has not seen our children in over a month. What ever happened to “Whats best for the children?” I will go to jail to protect my kids, BUT SHOULD I HAVE TO?
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Jamie, 50B orders are very important for Judges because they bring a lot of praise and attention politically from the EXTREMELY well funded Domestic Violence lobby groups. NC Fathers believes that tens of thousands of false domestic violence allegations proceed to conviction so that Judges appear strong financially and continue to receive support from lobby groups. Also, Judges know that hopeful custodial others use these allegations as weapons in court, and the Judges are all too happy to allow it.
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I have friend who is a wonderful father, His son mother want allow him to see him.She recently made a false child abuse report on him that the case got close because they found that the information is false. She had a doctor write a report on the father saying he was abusing the child when he has not seen the child since August of 2011. The Child mother God mother is a Judge. So when he went to court to show all his documents showing he was a good father and she be lieng on him the judge still order supervise visitation because that’s what the mother wanted, but it seems as the judges are working in her favor because of her god mother so what is a parent to do then.
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Joce,
Yea, it is a common tactic for custodial parents, or hopeful custodial parents to make false domestic violence claims, or abuse claims because it draws so much attention. And, it’s very helpful for Judges to allow false allegations to proceed to conviction for political purposes.
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What is a father to do in that case and it really not helping him by her god mother being a judge and helping her case out.
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Joce,
If you have verifiable proof that a Judge is using his/her authority to bring about a favorable result in another case, then your best option is to make a formal complaint with the NC Judicial Standards Commission, contact your local Representatives and Senators, and use the media.
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My son’s mother has kept him out of my life since before he was born. I have met him only twice, when he was 8, Recently he found me on Facebook and wanted to get to know me. His mom blocked all messages between us. I’m not asking for visitation, just communication. He’s 14 now. Shouldn’t he be able to choose to talk to me legally? She has threatened me with stalking and harassment if I don’t leave him alone. Isn’t there a lawyer out there that can help me get communication rights? Or at least someone who knows the NC system? Thanks for your input.
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Jay,
There are several issues here. We are not attorneys, nor should anything in this comment be construed as legal advise. Since the childs birth you have had the option to hire an attorney to get custody/visitation. It is very likely since you have not attempted to get visitation with your child, the court is going to have very little sympathy for giving you communication. In fact, it is routine for parents who have not attempted to have visitation with their kids to have their legal rights removed after a few years. This may or may not be the case in your situation. We are more concerned about active and involved Fathers who seek to be equals in their lives and are denied that by Judges and Legislators, who continue day after day seeking to be there for their kids.
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Please allow me to retort. The mother told me the child was not mine when she was pregnant. When he was 6 I was sued for child support. After 2 years of paying support I was allowed 2 meetings with my son. Soon after she met another man and left the state with no forwarding address. Again, my son contacted me recently on Facebook of his own accord because he knows I am his dad, his mother kept him from me, and he wants me in his life. So perhaps you should read up on how kids as young as 12 can be allowed to communicate and even decide which parent to live with. An attorney? You pay for an attorney on barely minimum wage. Sadly it seems I am more familiar with case law on this matter than you. Had I been able to afford an attorney I would have paid for one years ago.
Perhaps more questions and less of a judgmental mindset would serve you well.
You can’t visit a child who lives with his mother 4 states away under a remarried name when you can’t afford a lawyer. Perhaps that thought hadn’t crossed your mind?
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Jay, actually the issue of this father not being able to pay for an attorney was the FIRST thing that crossed my mind. However, please note in your initial contact you said that you “did not want visitation”, thus how I went down the road I did.
We realize that Custodial Mothers, and even Mothers who have not been designated by the courts as such routinely and daily prevent fathers from seeing their kids until a Judge orders it, and that this expense is great for many.
Now that we have more data, here is where I see you standing. A Judge early in this conflict likely would have excoriated the mother from preventing you from seeing your child and moving away. However, it’s been 14 yrs and a Judge is going to have a hard time believing that in 14 yrs you could not save up a few thousand dollars.
HOWEVER, what you do have on your side is a 14 year old BOY who is reaching out for his biological father, and this carries a lot of weight. But you are still going to have to travel to wherever he lives, hire an attorney (or represent yourself) to get him into court.
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Thanks for the article, I’m not a father but my son is for the love of god I just couldn’t figure things out about Wake County family court. My grandson’s mother has custody and my son gets him every other weekend, and the child is 9 with no one to supervise him in the morning before going to school mother not home when he gets out of school, this has been going on since he was 7yrs old he is failing in school no one to help him my son is paying for sylvian learning center to help his son, but when she decides not to talk to my son the child suffers she doesen’t take him to the class at sylvian my son was trying to give him music lesson once again she doesn’t take the child. The child’s mother has two other children they didn’t finish school both of them got into trouble with the law they each have felonies now my grandson. The child likes to be with his dad and me. I found your site after talking with my son today his son is failing in school a good chance of being left back I was trying to find a lawyer for my son I know he can’t afford it but I just feel something has to be done the child needs guidance in his life which the mother doesen’t give she busy in the street all over raleigh anywhere but home the father works from home he needs to be the parent in the childs life. Do you think a lawyer will help she she uses the child as her weapon because she knows how it hurts my son like not allowing him to see his father for the christmas holiday that my son kept the tree up with all of the child’s gifts until his weekend to have his son. Keep the good work up.
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Hi Merrian,
Sorry to hear that you and your son are going through this. NC Fathers is not a law firm, and nothing in my reply should be taken as legal advise. In regards to what you should do, there really is not an answer. Judges in NC have so much discreation, that it makes it impossible to determine what they will do. We have seen Judges make the most insane decisions on some pretty dangerous cases, and there is nothing that can be done about it without spending a fortune in the appelate courts. All you can do is hire an attorney and hope for the best, but keep it in the back of your mind that since you are the paternal grandmother it’s unlikely your side is going to win.
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I am a female but going through the same issues. Father was out of my daughters life from 2 until she was 4 (his decision…stated “he just couldn’t handle it”) Dealt with a lot of abuse towards me and our daughter, so had a legitimate 50B. When he returned he demanded custody & visitation. It was brought before a HORRIBLE judge who after seeing his record (DUI, drug use, abuse, etc) gave my precious baby to him every other week. Why I am still not sure of to this day. Within a week DSS was called on me. I have had over 30 cases filed with DSS on me because of him. All were dropped except one. After 2 years jumping through DSS hoops it was brought before a different judge who dismissed it all and said the whole situation was ridiculous as I was a very fit parent and he was not. God Bless that judge…After that time I still was unable to see my daughter or talk to her because he prevented it. Filed a contempt as he was not following a very strict custody order. Same HORRIBLE judge denied the contempt even though I had overwhelming evidence. Asked the court to have him rescused (?) and a new judge hear the case – DENIED. My daughter is now 10 years old…I have not seen her since she was 6…and I am still fighting the NC Courts…all bc this judge decided HE should see her and DSS believed an abuser. It is not just men who are losing the rights here.My daughter’s rights are being taken away…my daughter says she WANTS to live with me…he won’t even pick up the phone when I try to call her. THANK YOU NC COURTS & BUNCOMBE COUNTY DSS for NOT looking out for my daughter. Hearing my daughter’s tears and cries is a wonderful feeling…There needs to be a change. No more children’s tears need to fall so that DSS and courts can get funding…It is sickening.
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NC Fathers is NOT a “mens rights” or “fathers rights” groups, the person who made this site just happens to be a father. Actually, our organization is made up of many women. Additionally, our group is not advocating for fathers to get custody over women, etc…
Our goal is to get ALL special interests, politics, etc… out of parents lives and stop the 18 yrs worth of custody battles and develop equally shared parenting.
We are VERY concerned that DSS agencies in NC, who btw enjoy 100% immunity, derive money from child support enforcement. It is very clear they need a “bad parent” so that their funding can continue to flow, and we surmise they many times CREATE this bad parent.
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My sons rights were taken away from him in Brunswick County yesterday by Judge Tyler. Even though my grand daughter has been kept away from him by the mother, they said he had neglected her. The mother said in court that she had not returned his cals or text when he called about visiting,and that my son did not file a show cause to her not following the court order of visistion,that he rights were taken away. He just found out that he could do this his self, he was always told that he had to HIRE an lawyer. Regardless if he filed the show cause or not he still loves and wants to be a part of his daughters life.He went to jail 2 or 3 times for not paying support. But she broke the court order took him to court for neglect and they took his rights away. How is this even fair when her parents pay and take care of my grand daughter all the time.Is there any way he can get his rights back? His lawyer is going to appeal the case but we really thought he would not lose his rights. We honesty think that the judge was paid off or that she was friends with the granmother on the other side.The mother of my grand child told my son “you will not see her again until you pay your support” that is exactly what she done, then she said he had not seen her. I really do not understand how this can be in the best interest of my grand daughter.
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I have fought hard and sent letters to the state bar, Judge Bullocks office and all agencies. I have the supporting documents. DSS also allowed my 2yr old daughter burns to go unresolved. I have contacted raliegh head office. That continues to send my to Lee couty to the same person that was sending e-mails to employers of people hanging from trees. I can not say much here. e-mail me and I will send all supporting documents. As well as make sure that I support the cause. There is a vast number of none residents of Lee county that go there because they know that is how the system works there.
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My son is in court now trying to get split custody of his 9 month old daughter. The child’s mother stop letting him come over to see her when he didn’t give her more money. His attorney recently met with the judge(Angela Fox, Guilford County) and she informed him that she would not consider split custody because my son has a part time job. His part time job is from 11:00 pm- 3:00 am. I wrote a letter to the judge stating that I would be there with my granddaughter while my son works. What information do you have on judges and lawyers in Guilford County.
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Wilma, there really is no split custody in North Carolina. Legislators and Judges do not think split custody (joint physical custody, shared parenting) is in the best interest of children. As for the mother keeping the child from the father, if there is no court ordered visitation, she can do that. Actually, even if there is a court order, this is typically done without any contempt being brought by Judges.
Remember, this is a game. The longer there is conflict, the lawyers get payed, and the lawyers keep Judges happy at election time.
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i have been through the whole process by myself and did well.
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Andrew, join us on Facebook and tell us about your experience: http://www.facebook.com/ncfathers
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I have my children more than their mother because of her addiction issues. In November our divorce is supposed to be final but dealing with the unstable nature of the mother…
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J, it’s best that you hire a lawyer and make everything as tight as you can because I seriously doubt the thing you two signed will be honored by the courts.
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Yes, thank you we both have Lawyers and I have spent $10,000 and we never went to court. I wanted to go to court coming out of the gate just to put a stop to what was going on. The attoney talked me out of that but like I had said before it made them a lot of money and with all that I could prove (not just my word), I felt a judge could not turn them over to her. It might have gotten her into rehab and then maybe she would be productive as a mother instead of a problem. But they keep saying no we can work it out. In November we sign divorce papers….we will see.
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J, keep NC Fathers informed about the progress of your case.
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How can I get signed up to be on the email list? The way in which is listed in this article will not work; maybe it’s because I’m using an iPhone to email from?
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We just sent an invite to your ymail. Follow the directions in the invite to access our mailing list.
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How do I sign up for this maikling list..Me and my sons relationship is suffering from the same situation with the outrageous ruling from David Strickland..
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I just tried to get on the mailing list and the mail was returned.
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Bob look for an invite email shortly and follow the directions.
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I am still fighting the NC Courts…all because this judge showed bias and discrimination towards me and gave the father full custody with me no visitation and now a no contact order is in effect. It is not just men who are losing the rights here. My daughter’s rights are being taken away as well as mine as a natural born mother.…my daughter says she WANTS to live with me…he won’t even pick up the phone when I try to call her. I have not heard or seen a thing of them since September 2012.. Thanks A lot NC COURTS in District 20 A & Anson COUNTY DSS for NOT looking out for my daughter. Hearing my daughter’s tears and cries is a horrible feeling…There needs to be a change. No more children’s tears need to fall so that DSS and courts can get funding…It is sickening
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Hi Brittany,
NC Fathers is not a “Fathers Rights” organization just because of our name. See this document: http://www.facebook.com/notes/nc-fathers/statement-on-nc-fathers/448073991915072
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After one vist to this court it is clear he has a preference to a mother getting custody over the father!
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GOD IS NOT PLEASED WITH THE N.C. COURTS, JUDGES AND JUDICIAL SYSTEM, JUDGE MELINDA CROUCH,SUSAN BETHEL, AND CAROUSELL CENTER, THE SCHOOL CALLED ACCESS ACADEMY ALL HAVE CAUSED GREAT PAIN FOR GOOD FATHERS AND THERE CHILDREN. MAY GOD JUDGE ALL THESE AND WILMINGTON NC.
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I could tell u some stories
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Join us on facebook and use the message feature to tell it to us
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thank you for this site
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Hello my concerns are not concerning child support or welfare of a child. I want to know if I can get and appointment with Judge Pete Hunter to talk with him concerning and accident I was in and that I have witnesses to the accident.
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Debbie,
This website is not maintained by the NC Courts, or Judge Hunter.
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My faith in the NC court system has been decimated. I have been a loving father since before my children were born. I supported My ex wife and children from the beginning and still do. We lived in South Carolina until 2010 . Me and my ex wife separated in 2010 She took my children to Burke co. to live ,where she grew up. For 2 years I had to drive 5 hours each way every other weekend to see my children. My children and myself missed each other terribly. Finally it was to much. I moved up to Burke co. to be near my children. My ex wife protested about me spending more time with my children even though I now lived 2 miles away. I was forced to spend thousands of dollars on an attorney to try to get more time with them. I gave up a state job in SC of 12 years to be closer to my children and be equally involved in raising them. Judge Sherri W Elliot ruled in favor of my ex wife without any regard for my children . They were heart broken. I believe with all my heart that this decision was biased and immoral based on her friendship with the family and friends of my ex wife along with the corrupt attorneys on both side . I wasn’t even granted 1 over night weekday during the school year. There reason was to much of an inconvenience and disruption to the children’s schedule. Is this fair? Is this justice? Is this looking out for the children’s best interest? This is an atrocity !!
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Its a sad thing when families are separated, and amends cant be made Justly from the Courts . Judges are supposed to protect the future of families and children .
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My story begins and ends with complete disdaine for the system used for rulings involving children and divorced parents. First of all… when a government agency actually uses the term “deadbeat dad” it is an infringement on my rights as a US citizen. I am being profiled like I have committed a crime or I am trying to get away with something. The fact that the system requires us to “FIGHT” for the right to see our children, is also a travesty. It elevates the situation to a level which is unecessary… who is going to go into court and not try to Fight for their right to be with their children and their well being. It forces the possible future relationship with your EX to become immediatly hostile. Who among us really believes that some judge with a full schedule everday is going to take the time to really understand the dynamics of every single family and child, who’s welfare and emotional state and future is resting upon. I loved my wife very much. When I found that she was cheating she left and took my children with her. It absolutely destroyed me. I was in no state of mind or condition to think clearly. I began drinking to ease my emotional pain. She set me up telling me to come and have lunch with her so we could talk about our possible future, which I was excited about. when I showed up at her new residence, I found her with another man. I kept myself from Kicking ass I don’t know how but I did. That didn’t keep her from marking her face and taking out charges on me. Seeing it was a friend of mine hurt even more. As far as I am concerned, I feel that if a parent makes a decision to do what she did, they are forfieting there right to any custody. Now I pay child support for her and her boyfriend to be on an extended vacation. On top of the fact that they set my child support on my “POTENTIAL” earning ability. I moved to NC to wind down and spend time with my kids. Now I have been forced to move Back to DC to be able to afford my child support obligation. I am heart Broken and so are my kids. The court system has empowered my EX. she took out a restraining order against me which the judge granted for a year. She violated me every time she felt like it. She even violated me once while I was sitting in court waiting for my trial. She got up and went to the majistrate and had me arrested in court for another violation. It is ludicrous what is happening. The bottom line is: Why do I have to fight the system to be with my children. they are OUR children. When my EX communicates with me… she refers to them as HER children. The system has put that crazy idea in her head. They have stripped me of my ability to be a good father. Now I see the boyfriend posting facebook things with “Thats my boy!!” refering to my son. When I responded he said “well I am raising him”. I don’t want to sound like a whimp or anything , but I do alot of crying.
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I totally understand where you’re coming from because my son is going through the same thing. The statement of why Father’s aren’t around in NC is a total bunch of bull. The justice system in NC is so out of date and so misleading it isn’t funny, especially in Cumberland County, NC. The judges in that court house are so prejudice against the Military it isn’t funny. They will give everything to the ex-wife before they would give any rights to a Father. They will take any lie the ex-wife has to tell and use it against the Father’s. It is a shame and it should be an embarrassment to how justice is service in Cumberland County. The ex-wife isn’t always the best person to have custody or primary custody of the children…what just because she gave birth doesn’t mean she’s automatically the best one to have custody. When an ex-wife commits adultery and plays house while the Father is fighting in Iraq and she contacts the Father and tells him she’s in love with someone else and the court system in Cumberland County feels this is acceptable, then they don’t deserve to be judges. A member of the military has a stable income, can provide a good home and can be a good role model for any child, but not according to Cumberland County – the WOMAN is always right even when they LIE right to the judges face. I’m sick and tired of hearing about how prejudice judges are against the military member. I’m sure most of them NEVER SERVED THEIR COUNTRY. I’m also under the impression that some of these judges have outside dealings with some of these attorney’s or either that or they’re all lesbians. Too much has happened when one attorney gets everything she wants from one judge and doesn’t accept what the other side has to say. This this merely an opinion…from my views of what has happened to my son. I would say to any member of the military DON’T GET MARRIED IN NC AND DON’T GET A DIVORCE IN NC BECAUSE YOU WON’T GET A FAIR DEAL THROUGH NC COURTS.
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I’m in a bad situation. I was recently put in Franklin Countys custody and my Social Workers are not helping me at all. They took what I said and court and said I was still making the same accusations when before court I talked to them and told them I lied. My mom was supposed to get custody back of me but the social workers LIED and told my mom that I was still making those accusations. And my Social Worker keeps changing up her story to me and my mom. And then my real dad in Florida was going to take custody of me but NO ONE has called him and told him anything. And so now no one wants to deal with this anymore. But I made my own bed and I’m gonna lay in it. I’m only 15 but my birthday is in February. My social worker assigned me an Attourney to help me get emancipated. And as of right now I’m on foster care. But my foster parent has put me back in school and is helping me find a job. I’m gonna save up my money and buy my own things. I’m gonna buy a phone and pay my own bill. But all these social workers are making it hard to do cause I don’t know what to believe. But I am a VERY responsible person. I took care of my younger brother everyday for, basically 2 years, making sure he ate, showered, went to bed on time etc. I also had to take care of myself. I stayed home alone with my younger brother everyday while my parents were at work or out somewhere. Sometimes till 2 in the morning. And my mom said that she would help me get emancipated. I was wondering if that was an option? Because these social workers don’t believe me when I say I lied and they’re not gonna let my mom have custody of me. If I could get emancipated I have a place to go, Ill be in school, I had a job offer in Rolseville not too long ago, and Ill be supplying for myself. I just need to know what to do. I don’t know who to believe.
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Because you are a minor, and the fact that we are not a law firm, we can only encourage you to contact the NC guardian ad litem office in your county as they are an advocate for minors who are involved in the DSS system.
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I am a mother of 2 beautiful angels and it’s tearing me up inside 2 b away from my children like I am.. I do have a lawyer which I can’t afford to pay frr 2 recent moves, but my ex has temporarily custody of my children which his mother takes cars of & setting up visitation. With her is difficult because she us always busy, my children need me as much as I need them. Can someone please help me?? I have always been there got children & taken real good care if them & now after bring with my ex 4 .. 16 years the family acts like I don’t exist … I need my babies back in my life daily & can be involved in five visit, school & daily activities that a loving, caring mother should b!! Someone please help me… Lost with out my 2 souls that came from me , & miracles God blessed me with
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we at National Liberty Alliance is here to help. Join, Take the Civic Course, and then file the paperwork. Hang in there. i understand
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Wilkes county DSS has taken my grandson and given him to a man that is not any relation to him. When they first took him and gave him to the paternal grandmother (who had close friends at DSS) I was told by Ms. Coffee that if I came to court she would guarantee me he would go to a home and never see any of his family again. The paternal grandmother got custody and 4 years later she died. I again contacted DSS requesting consideration for custody and was told I would need to fill out the proper paper work. While they were keeping me busy with information on paperwork they secretly had court and appointed the ex-husband of the paternal grandmother honarary grandfather. He now has custody. I have not been able to see my grandson in over 2 years. I have no record, I don’t mess with alcohol or drugs. I have custody of my other grandson (brother) and my ex-husbands daugther but cannot even visit my oldest grandson and he is not allowed to meet his brother. He also has a sister due in a few months. The mother has been completely straight for over 2 years but she cannot get any rights to visit her son. The kicker is the father of these 3 children has never been ordered to pay any child support. They let me fill out the paperwork and it always end up in the dead file. How is this right? How can DSS of Wilkes County be allowed to get by with this. They have threatened me over and over. Tried to say I had DSS trouble with my kids growing up which is a lie. I have never dealt with DSS before in my life. It is one lie after another. We have no idea what is happening to my oldest grandson and is it not in his best interest to know his siblings?
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This does not surprise us in the least. DSS is an out of control agency that is no longer about reunification and best interest of children. We hear stories like this daily. In our opinion they are maintaining too close of a relationship with adoption agencies.
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Judge Henderson is a lop sided crook. Went to court for emergency custody. Had a lot of proof and child protection services even said they found proof the kids were being abused. They passed it on to the police department and is still under criminal investigation. But I got denied the custody because the county the mom lives in says the home itself, not the people just the home is safe. In what world does safe living arrangement constitute children going back to a proven abusive situation.
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A world that devalues fathers in all circumstances.
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It burns me to see good men fighting to be a part of their children’s lives only to have one Judge decided it’s in the children’s best interest that you only see them every other weekend. I went before Judge Hill in Moore County and listened for 4 days to my ex-wife and her parents accuse me of child abuse, spousal abuse, animal abuse, adultery and rape with zero evidence. They blatantly lied, opposed even themselves with their false stories, and yet Judge Hill failed to see through their phoniness and the took over 8 months to deliver a verdict where I see my boys every other weekend and an absurd child support check. I would not have wasted thousands of dollars, time and energy if I knew the corrupt court system was doing to give me the ‘default’ verdict. I have served my country for 20 years, no police record, active in the same church I grew up in, never drank or even smoked and always wanted kids. Where is the incentive to be a part of your kids lives when the court system is constantly separating men from their kids? What an extremely corrupt system where profit over a child’s ‘TRUE’ best interest is more important.
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Brandon I concur with you, but understand it could be far worse. I cannot get into my whole story as it is very long.
The highlight of my story is similar but more sinister at the end of the day. After 3 judges in 2 different states told my ex that her claims were unfounded and refused to vacate my visitation (note my visitation was once a month, travel to Chicago at my expense and no overnights), she found a forth judge who dragged out things for 25 months giving me only 6 total hours of supervised visitation over the entire time of countless court appearances. I was in Chicago from Florida 20 times yet saw my kids 3 times. He couldn’t understand why my kids came to the decision of not wanting to see me attributing it to “mixing up your son’s name is abusive and will scar him for life,” not the fact my ex had been threatening and manipulating them for 5 years and telling them I was going to kidnap them or take their house away.
So instead of the judge making sense of matter or recuse himself because of bias he revoked all visitation and communication with them until they are 18. So now I am in the State Appellate court on the matter. The kicker is my ex shook down a homeless shelter to build her a brand new house and the judge has connections with the shelter.
All I can tell you is love your kids and be grateful for the time you have. Being a positive influence on them may put them in a position to want to be with you more than her then you fight that fight. Keep a positive attitude.
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Ten and a half years ago I had a “one night stand” with a woman. She and I never got together again. She began a relationship with another man. However, she was pregnant with a child she failed to tell me about. Subsequently she married this other man, gave birth and is saying he is the father. I suspected the child was mine when I saw him at age six, as he looks just like me. When the mother was confronted about the boy’s paternity she claimed that her husband is the natural father. I asked an attorney to represent me in ordering a DNA test. What should I expect with NC law? I am willing to pay child support and would like visitation when the truth is revealed
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Join us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/ncfathers and let’s discuss it.
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Someone please help me with advice on my current situatiuation. My daughter was recently taken from her mother from social serves due to drug and alcohol abuse and deplorable living condition. I am still having child support taken out even though she resides with me. What can I do to get this adjusted?
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Kirk, let me first say that I am not an attorney, but I have experienced some of what you are going through personally.
The first question will be, does your daughter reside with you full time or does she reside with someone else? If she resides with you there are a couple steps you must take to stop the madness. You will need to file 2 separate things with the courts. The first thing will be a motion for custody. The second filing will be a modification of support. This may be a packet that is all inclusive and you will have to check with your local clerk of courts. If you have moved since the initial filing you may need to file a change of jurisdiction, most don’t if they live close enough to the county of jurisdiction. The other thing you will need to look into is if your court can do an emergency hearing.
All of this will need to be filed prior to any changes in support as child support hinges on who the custodial parent is and who the non-custodial parent is and where a child resides the most. Understand this is a process which could take several months. In as such whatever is garnished until things are resolved will remain status quo. As a result whatever money has been garnished until that time WILL NOT be reversed unless a judge puts it as part of your order. The odds of this happening are slim but it is worth a try.
This paperwork can be done by yourself as a Pro Se litigate, if you feel you can handle it. If you are unsure about the process, consult with an attorney.
I hope that helps.
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To – The Father’s rights movement of NC
Re: Choose to reduce effort because  “5,000 members and 10 replies”.Â
It take a long time to convince people to make changes – especially legislators – so  Don’t be so easily discouraged. Â
On the positive side, with just a small budget – you have captured enough attention to get 5,000 people to join your grassroots group ..
And , I have heard, it takes at least  3 separate and well timed positive impressions in advertising to get the message across – probablyÂ
More for a group under duressÂ
Like Dads missing their children
And under financial stress.
Also, the systematic violation ofÂ
Fathers constitutional parental rights and property rightsÂ
In NC family courts today has made
Me a “single issue” voter .
So your “call to action” needs to be essentially about e-signatures on legislation to personally present to incumbent NC legislators and their future challengers  … And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS hammer home to politicians the 5 Millions of NC voters and 51% of the population Election year SWING  VOTE  who will SUPPORT and VOTE for NC legislators who make PUBLIC statements in support of your stated agendaÂ
And always videotape PR clipsÂ
Of politicians,  But never put them on YouTube Until the Friendly politician oks it themselves . Â
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I have made every effort to be a part of my three boys lives and have been blocked with every attempt but sooner or later they will find out the truth and when that day comes they will know the real reason for me not being there and I look forward to that day!
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I pray that the very not so honorable Judge Fox is removed. I was heard before her yesterday and she sided with great grandparents over myself “the father” on a contemp charge for visitation rights. The court order allows my daughters visitation on Sundays except Sundays that a holiday are followed. Apparently Columbus day and Veterans day are not holidays in the eyes of judge fox. As well as my ex wife withheld them from a summer vacation but that is my fault too. How do great grand parents have more rights that a dad. Can you guys know anyone who will take this story and he it out there? Judge fox didn’t even here the whole case. I was first to take the stand and as soon as I was cross examined, judge fox called the lawyers out of the courtroom and they came back saying that she has already made her ruling and if we decide to proceed with the case, it would be a harsher penalty.
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I have a problem my son went to Onslow Courts to get parte order for child custody and no one would help him. The mother has not been around the baby since the beginning of August he asked her where she is living and will not tell him so he would like to put a parte child custody order on so she just don’t show up to the house and just takes the baby. The clerk would not help my son what so ever can you please help him with this
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Help me see my kids again their mother stopped letting me see them in jan it’s been almost four months I pay child support it’s emotional draining not able to spend/ see my children help me please
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You and everyone needs to Join http://www.NationalLibertyAlliance.org and take the Civics course and join me in filing the paperwork on our situations and then in our law suits. 704-732-3011. We all CAN make a difference in court when we do it together.
i understand Christopher it has been 3 years since i have seen mine. You see they are breaking the law and the Constitution which IS the highest law in our land.
help is on the way
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I’m a women and on a winter day I sent my son to school. At 6pm I received an email from the Dad explaining that he had been granted Primary Custody of our son. No I wasn’t and the hearing and didn’t receive anything in the mail about the hearing. I retained an Attorney, she filed a motion to set aside. The judge asked me one question during this hearing, ” We’re you having problems with your mail” and I responded “No”. The motion to set aside was denied. Because my son didn’t adjust to that transition well he was institutionalized in a mental hospital. DSS was involved in this and they released him back to his Dad. Prior to being institutionalized my son had several spells in which he acted out severely! On one visit I’ve picked my son up and his whole lower left leg was black and blue. DSS was involved yet again. My son was sent back to live with this man after this severe beating. My son’s Dad has had me arrested 2x falsely under Domestic Violence Charges. He called my place of employment and told them about the charges and they in turn suspended me until the charges were dismissed. Rather him going to court the 1st month, he drug it out for 7 months, putting me in the rears with child support. The charges were of coursed dropped because they were lies. Then he tried to have me arrested because the child support had gone in the rears. I of course had to pay that to prevent my Career being messed up. He then up and moved with my son to a different city without telling me anything! My Attorney filed for a motion to modify based on a substantial change in circumstances. During the hearing nothing was brought out about the abuse allegations, the false charges didn’t set because his Attorney stated “No foundation” and at the end of this hearing my motion to modify was denied.
I’ve basically had my only child taken, Career almost Deliberately Sabotaged for the Dad to gain leverage in the Modification Case. During the trail the Judge explained she didn’t see anything wrong with him moving my son further away from me and closer to his 2nd child of the same age. My first Attorney who is the main reason for my son being taken away from me was disbarred as a result of fondling his female clients. His Attorney and him we’re able to build a case on me while my Attorney was going through disbarment which aided in the removal of my son.
I’ve done nothing to have my child taken away from me and now since this man has gotten away with doing anything and every to me he continues to do so. I only get phone calls 2x a week and if I miss the phone call then I just don’t get to speak to my son because when I try to call back he refuses to answer the phone. On the weekends I do get to exercise my visitation, that Sunday I’m putting on a peep rally for my son because he’s never wants to go back with his Dad and struggles to do so.
I’m at my wits ends with him and need help desperately. This is not a life for a dog to live let alone someone who didn’t do anything to deserve this in the first place. PLEASE HELP!
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I have been fighting for equal time with my twins for over a year now my wife started having a guy staying at her house 3 month after we separated. She caused me of abuse twice once when she tried to put a restraining order on me. She was untruthful in court and it was dropped I filed for equal time her attorney countered with verbal and physical abuse in front of the kids on the stand she stated we had a peaceful marriage we only argued about money when she was asked about the abuse she stated that it was something her attorney wrote down . Her and the boyfriend lied in court I have over 185 insulting text from them due to my attorneys mistake of not turning a final proposal in on time I only got everything other weekend and 4 extra hours in the week. I am being alienated from my twins her boyfriend has stated to me he should be the kids father he makes more money than i. I filed to modify the order not that it will do any good but I have to try I love my twins having taken care of them for 4 years and worked at night. In Asheville when a father fights for equal time he is a deadbeat dad that does not want to pay child support.
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I am 8 years into the corrupt Child Support Empire. I did not know it’s a $500 Billion industry. How does a Non-Custodial parent that makes probably minimum wage fight such an evil corrupted beast that lies through its teeth when saying we are here for the BEST INTEREST of the child. I would venture to say no judge or lawyer have ever in the history of its creation have used any of its Billions to PERSONALLY take a child out to dinner or a movie or to the park or read a child a bedtime story or gave a child seeking justice a hug. Yet the best interest is printed in there mission statements and other administrative documents and processes. SMH… This is a matter between the parents and the court system should have no part in making riches of parents and children sufferings
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I would love yo join your group . My son has had nothing but problems with DSS in Jacksonville, NC . Heid and a few others
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Join us on Facebook
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My son is not allowed to see his daughter, nor am I.yet he pays child support . I. have asked to see her yet she will not allow us to see her. we really want to be apart of her life
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I would love to see my grand daughter. Son has gone to jail for 6 months for being 600.00 behind child support, and he has paid his support and never is able to see his daughter. I have not seen my grand daughter in 3 years
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Can a mother just get a restraining order to keep me from seeing my kids and there hasn’t been any violence?
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Unfortunately yes. When it comes to OP (Orders of Protection), Keep Away Orders or Restraining Orders, a judge can make a said order without evidence and merely on the assumption of fear mongering. Typically these will be issued not because you did something wrong only that tensions COULD rise to have future issues. It is what I call the Minority Report ruling……you are guilty of a potential future incident and you must prove your innocence rather than the other party prove your guilt.
The number one reason why men have restraining orders against them is not because they have done something wrong but rather because they are men and women, due to the women’s lib movement, push that all women are victims as all men are abusers.
It is less of a written law and more of an understood bias of the courts. This is not the only one but is the first step of parental interference. Be careful as a judge will run all over you and your fighting back is not looked at as self defense rather passive aggressive behavior. Make sure to have an attorney and fight like hell. Once an OP is granted against you all hell breaks loose as it is the number one excuse to restrict or eliminate your parental rights and also violates your second amendment rights to have a gun as you will be put on a government watch list.
Be vigilant as I am there and have had 2 against me that have expired but used as the excuse to ruin my life on many levels.
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I had know idea it was so many men out here going through what I am.
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Hey Antonio, there are countless men across this nation who have been stomped on, kicked around and just plain beaten down because of the archaic and backward court system. I will never understand why a Judge will not allow a Father to be with his kids if he is willing to be a Father and the kids want him to be in their lives. There are too many kids growing up these days without a Dad in their life and then everyone wonders why their kids are so screwed up on drugs, dropping out of schools, pregnant or worse yet, commit suicide. I have been accused of Domestic Violence, Harassement, Stalking and more to the point the local police are tired of dealing with her ‘cry wolf’ accusations but they still have a job to do even though they have better, more important REAL problems which are going on. You’re definitely not alone Antonio, all you can hope for is that your kids will realize that you love them and you did the right thing and did what you could to be a Father despite having a constant brick wall in front of you. Stay strong Brother!!
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Please contact me ASAP. I am a grandmother, retired teacher, president of statewide KN2P (KidsNeed2Parents), & member of international LW4SP (LeadingWomen4Shared Parenting. I’ll be speaking at a Raleigh rally, along with many others, on Wed., April 27, 2016, & need you there. Thanks! Sheila Peltzer – 704-350-1343, sheila@KN2P.org.
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Hi, I myself and several other parents that I know are also dealing with fighting to keep their child in the home or have lost all rights to their child. Their are Sooooo very many heart wrenching sad stories that I have heard through friends and social media of having encounters with judge Hoyle. I am a female though and so are the many others that have stories that desperately need their stories heard. We all need someone who can make a difference to hear our stories.
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I’m here to say thank you for this group as I am well developed in Child support and the system they use.
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does anyone know of any pro-father lawyers to help me with getting full custody of my son?
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I have had proof of lies, falsifying documents and abuse and I think every custody judge here in mecklenburg and let me just say it is a complete one side show! Every judge has listened to words that can’t be proved instead of evidence. I will say if your in union county, pray you get judge williams. He looks at what can be proven over he said she said.
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Paternal grandmother. Grandson’s father nor I have have seen grandson in 6 years. Mother has hid him. Found her address in 2015. Don’t have money to fight her in court. No custody was set up after paternity was established. Mother left town. Limited contact down to no contact now. We are suffering but my grandson is being emotionally abused.
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I am a single mother BUT damnit I feel the pain !! They commit unprofessional acts !! Very very rude ….most certainly do not follow by nc policy guidelines ….. I’m in disbelief …. my children have been in kinship going on 2 months even after demostrating and providing a stable home (it was NEVER unstable to begin with) but “for their sake” I did what was asked of me …. there is never a “finish line” they continue to add task for you to do …..and unnecessary services are provided to make them “look good” they went from 30 days your case will be closed to now 6 months !! smh it’s more I could add ….but too much to write
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My grand daughter was allowed to be adopted by her foster mother 4 years ago despite that I fought 2 1/2 years to gain custody of her myself. I’ve NEVER been in any sort of trouble other than a simple traffic ticket. My son has not been the best at staying out of trouble despite my efforts to keep him straight as a single mother. (when he was a teen) Nevertheless, He would never harm any child. However, my daughter was always a honor student and a great kid and role model. I learned in the state of NC grandparents do NOT have rights. So we went in as next of kin. My grand daughter Never had the chance to live with any of us. We weren’t given a chance. Between judge Peter mack and dss we were doomed from the beginning. All I ever heard Foster now adopted mother say was “dss better get me another kid” (money) oh and by the way had already adopted 3 siblings In which as soon as they turned 18 have left and despised adopted mom. She also had my grand daughter going to the doctor by age 2 for medication for adhd. She was 2!!! Really?!?! Oh and also changed her first and middle name. How confusing was that must of been for her. I learned a behavior child brings in more money. In the 2 1/2 yes we formed an unbelievable bond. We miss her every day! It’s a pain that I don’t think any of us can ever undue. My daughter (aunt) as well as myself have really been tremendously depressed. Our lives have forever been sadly changed. We will always love and miss you sweet girl!!!
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The whole system is mess up. They say they’re doing what is in the best interest of the child whith out interpreting exactly what they think is best for your own family member besides your own blood family. Then the good family court attorneys want outrageous amounts of cash to represent your natural family rights. The majority of people including my self cannot afford the representation needed leaving the family apart during the most important developmental stages of the child’s life while a bond is a major part. I believe that bond is best with paternal family roots.
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Misty, I cannot overstate how I feel for you and your case. The judicial system needs a major overhaul to rectify things as you have gone through and it would be in the best interest of a child to have FIRST chance to a blood relative, no different than what would happen should parents die. With that said it is a hard road to trek but I will tell you to not give up.
On a side note, how are you doing? I know this type of battle takes a toll on everyone involved especially during the holidays. I have a book that will be coming out this Spring that I would like to send to you once it has been released to help you through the process. It touches on the emotional roller coaster a parent/grandparent suffers from as a result of Parental Alienation. I hope that this could bless you and give you the energy to hope loose hope rather to heal and watch as God works in your storm. Leave me a note if you are interested.
Sincerely,
CAL
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Judge Fredrick wilkson Rockingham county Nc ruin my life broke my soul as well..bias crook has destroyed my life totally and my girls …I wish I seen these statement on these judge’s I want justice for me and my girl ….these begin in 2003…and I hired one lawyer after another crooks and seem good ol boy system and I even made compliments to North Carolina State bar….one attorney even ask me to sexual activity with my cousin in my custody which was 16 years old …I just couldn’t believe what was happening I hired another attorney after another ,,and even was charged my self with parental kidnapping fugitive from Justice’s when I was so unbelievable this was not being legally and just by these judge’s and lawyers in North Carolina..my baby was suffering and me and my older daughter was just devastated writing judges ,attorney General in Va,And Nc pleading for help for justice system to do what was right …and fighting year after year..I was broken hearted I still.am …haven’t seen my child since she 8 she 17 now ..so much more to tell…but I’m breaking down just Remembering how the system that suppose to protect and serve ,,and these people who took a oath of office..destroyed our lives forever ..as I seen this I seen an attorney I hired Craig Blitzer, also known as the one good ones took 5750.00 dollars my daughter was worth that and more and paid other attorneys for my right to be violated time and time again ,but he’s Craig Blitzer has gotten him self charges not surprised, made complaint on him to state bar..as well as all the others who I felt there was no way this could be happen ..and my life totally was devastated by a corup system and biss judges…i want justice for me and my children..
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My son’s ex-girlfriend just gave birth two days ago. He has kept in contact with her and expressed his desire to be in the child’s life throughout the pregnancy. Just days before the birth she cut off all contact. What does he do? He lives in Rocky Mount NC. Do you know of any good lawyers in Rocky Mount?
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We don’t know of any good lawyers in Rocky Mount, but given that he is not married to her by law he is not recognized as the legal father until she or he establishes himself as such. Or, until child support enforcement does it.
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Someone please help me i am breaking down just writing this post. My kids mother died and the family basically took my kids! Who do they think they are I am a good father and took care of my kids. Was very active in my kids life please help cb81nov@gmail.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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