NC Fathers Rights

Can You Help Me?

As our organization grows, we are getting flooded with Non-Custodial Fathers, Grandmothers, Step-Mothers, Aunts, Uncles, Brothers, etc…. all pleading with us to help. And God Knows, we would LOVE to help, but there are several things to keep in mind about our organization.

1) We are NOT a Law Firm, and we have NO Lawyers in our organization.

2) If this makes things worse in your situation, we are sorry, but what we are about to say is reality. There probably is NO help for you in the State of NC when it comes to the plethora of problems in the NC Family Court. We hear daily about Judges refusing to do this and that, allowing custodial mothers to do this and that, Guardian Ad Litems doing this and that, and even people’s own lawyers promising the sun and moon prior to getting retainer fees, then doing NOTHING. We hear daily about contempt cases being dropped on custodial mothers almost hourly now. We hear about extreme alienation of children from fathers, paternal grandmothers, aunts, uncles, etc… We hear the most awful stories and as much as it pains us, there is NOTHING we can do AT THIS TIME.

And here is why:

1) Lawyers have NO interest in equal shared parenting. In fact, they LOVE the current NC system. It is EXTREMELY lucrative for them to charge $5000 retainers every few months for 18 years.

2) Lawyers keep Judges Elected, in fact many Judges who leave the bench go back to practicing law. You really think they want to take bread out of their own mouth?

3) There are ULTRA powerful, well funded, and large lobby groups who have been around since the 60s that have millions of people motivated to call and pressure Legislators and Judges to further their cause, and remind them that election will be impossible unless they further their cause. And be sure their cause is being furthered in the NC Family Courts.

4) You may have heard of the NC Judicial Standards Commission, they are NOT AN OPTION FOR YOU.

5) The State of NC does NOT want you to have equal parentage and access to your kids. They NEED you paying child support, and the more the better. If you have equal parentage and access, you pay LESS child support which makes less federal funding available to critical state services. Click HERE to read more about the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 485 and the funds YOU make available to NC by being alienated from your kids.

There are TOO many organizations deriving MONEY, POWER and VOTES from the current system.

There is ONLY ONE THING that is going to change this, and it is VERY EASY to do, but requires your HELP. The MOMENT that every single Non-Custodial Father, Paternal Grandmother, Step-Mother, Paternal Aunt, Paternal Uncle, Other Family Member, and Friends of These Families realize that they are a massive, overwhelmingly, and mammoth group of people given the divorce rate, and who can drive/reform legislation in one election cycle if UNITED, everything above will change. There is NO way Judges, Legislators, ANYONE can get elected without the people above. If you will make it a routine in your daily life to reach out to other Non-Custodial Family Members (they are EVERYWHERE in NC) and get them on our MAILING LIST, the minute we have 50,000-100,000 people who can email/call/FAX Politicians and Judges and tell them they WILL NOT be elected in the next election unless my/our kids are brought back into our lives, then you will be a part of the MONEY, POWER, and VOTES process that is driving the current system and your needs will be met.

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29 Comments »

  1. Hi, I have a close friend who is a non-custodial parent. He is currently being rooked by the court system, because Judge Doretta Walker is completely and totally biased against dads. For instance, she makes a big deal about him having a drug history, and forces these drug tests every week, but thinks the mom’s alcoholism background is irrelevant. Even though he had doctors testifying to his current health and drug-free lifestyle. It seems really, really unfair. Sounds like (from above) there is no help for him available, but if you have any ideas, this man is really a great guy, and has been such great friends of my husband and myself for such a long time, and is a loyal friend AND a loyal dad.
    Thank you.

    Like

    Comment by Amy Athavale | April 2, 2012 | Reply

  2. I have a story for you. I am a non custodial mother who has dealt with one of these judges. I was disabled and had no representation. I have since won my battle, but would love to be a part of this battle. This is a story many will not believe.

    Like

    Comment by Tara | April 18, 2012 | Reply

  3. This North Carolina Family Court system is highly biased AND unstable. You can’t get a standardized response throughout the State on ANY family issue. These judges treat the law as if it’s a private soap opera, and give their interpretation of the “facts” on more of a basis of what they had to eat for breakfast or how they get along with their spouses. And their strictness pertains to anything that’s bothering them that day. Beware the parent who seeks justice! BTW – Don’t even dare to send a box of candy to a lawyer who HAS been helpful. They’re not even able to acknowledge they received it! Talk about skewed priorities. We need to write news articles and picket with signs during election times.

    Like

    Comment by Cosmickt | April 27, 2012 | Reply

  4. Personally, I am not sure that there is anything that anyone can do to change the mess that our Judicial System is in right now. Does anyone even care?
    I have a story that I am sure a lot of people would not believe….

    Like

    Comment by MiMi | July 4, 2012 | Reply

  5. I have an extreme case with Judge Scarlett in Chatham County. Her first ruling taking custody of my mentally ill son was found unconstitutional. How can I get some help over here?

    Like

    Comment by sadmom | September 15, 2012 | Reply

    • Our organization offers no help of any kind to non-custodial fathers or mothers. Our organization only exists to educate the masses so that they can then use the information to affect elections. I would contact an attorney, or legal aid.

      Like

      Comment by ncfathers | September 15, 2012 | Reply

  6. I am a paternal grandmother and my son’s two daughters don’t want to go back to their mother. She uses any child support she gets to buy things for herself. She is a very poor excuse for a mother an actually lost her oldest child to her father. I feel strongly that if we can get one ear to listen it will be a start. Thom Goolsby has at least answered my son’s email so maybe we need to start with him and other members of the General Assembly to get started. I would be very willing to help with mailings or anything I can do. It is time for fathers to push for change!

    Like

    Comment by Linda McConatha | December 3, 2012 | Reply

    • Hi Linda,
      First, sorry to hear about your situation. Nobody can say exactly why the system is biased against fathers (and by proxy the entire non-custodial family, including women), but it has been for going on six decades. There are several issues we think stackes the deck against NC Fathers, and the first glaring one is that lawyers make lots and lots of money from parents when they fight for 18 years and the NC Bar Association and American Bar Association thwart any talk of leveling the playing fields. The second glaring issue is that the State of NC actually receives federal money on the amount of child support they collect, and that money is then used to pay for social services programs for which the State has no other way to pay. So the best way to collect more federal funds is to collect more child support. The quickest way to collect more child support is to put as much distance between fathers and children as possible.

      In addition to lawyers, there are very well funded and super powerful lobby groups that have been around for six decades who demand women and children centered courts. They sway elections, and there is no lobby for non-custodial fathers and families. Until this changes, fathers like your son will get the short end of the stick.

      As for Senator Thom Goolsby, we would be interested in what he has to say, and have contacted him any times about this issue with no response. And, quite frankly no NC Representative or Senator wants to talk about change because the committees that would take on this issue is 60% lawyers who make so much money from this.

      But we do want to thank you for contacting us, we have always said that many more women in paternal families are affected and hurt by this system than just fathers. It is good to see women speaking out on this issue. Have you joined us on Facebook? http://www.facebook.com/ncfathers

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | December 3, 2012 | Reply

  7. So glad for this site makes perfect sense now. me and my daughter are being deprived of each other. don’t know when we will ever see each other again. I’m not even allowed to call or anything. This resulted from ex parte order in effect from false statements of the dads girlfriend saying I kidnapped her off the porch. What can I do or how can I help put an end to this awful tyrant government of such bureaucrats. This needs to end. my baby is counting on me! and i will fight for my god given rights to be a mother till the end. I’m not giving up…

    Like

    Comment by brittany simbra | January 9, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi again Brittany,
      We agree that false allegations are a very unfortunate nature of how our courts exists. Parents need to make false allegations in order to win a Ex-Parte hearing or court battle and this would stop when everything is equal and there is nothing to fight about. Just keep in mind that Fathers also have natural born rights, and a mothers rights should never trump a Fathers right. Children need both parents equally.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | January 10, 2013 | Reply

    • I see you are following us on Facebook, please use the message feature to tell us your story in complete detail.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | January 10, 2013 | Reply

  8. We have a great number of repeat offenders jailed and turned loose due to the public defenders and the Judges reducing bonds from secured to little or nothing at all. Typically they are addicted and are made to be coming off the dependency when behind bars. Typically the day they are freed they are back on something , arrested and re-enter our courts. Why negotiate bonds when they are set by standards used by the law enforcement agencies? It makes no sense other than further enhancing the pockets of the few attorneys that re-elect the ones making the decisions ie.-the Judges. Right? Stop selling the system out by making bad decisions that are 100 % in your hands. You set one free yesterday that should not be on the streets. A thief and a drug addict!

    Like

    Comment by Jim Lorenz | January 16, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Jim,
      Thanks for posting on this post, although I am not sure what it has to do with family court reform.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | January 16, 2013 | Reply

  9. I am a non custodial parent and falsely accused Father in NC. After reading the statement above that basically I’m screwed and the judges are biased in NC. This just tells me that the Justice is corrupt and their agenda is to collect revenue. I love and miss my kids sooo much and it hurts. What more proof does one need to see that the system is corrupt and where’s our so called rights?

    Like

    Comment by kim | January 17, 2013 | Reply

  10. Hi, I am having to get a child custody case transferred from Raleigh to Wilmington. Are there any judges in Wilmington that I should hope for? I am a father who is doing any and everything that I can to keep my 7 year old from moving to Hawaii, I am asking for split custody.

    Thanks in advance for any help.

    Like

    Comment by Rob | January 29, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Rob, we really don’t hear anything good about any of the New Hanover County Judges. But I do know that getting split custody is something that likely won’t happen because there is no split custody in NC. This works in favor for the State which wants Title IV-D money from collected child support. And the more collected child support means greater federal money. If you have split custody you will pay less child support which means less Title IV-D money for NC.

      Like

      Comment by ncfathers | January 30, 2013 | Reply

    • Hey Rob, I live in New Hanover County. I would like to meet with you and share knowledge. I am going to court in about 2 weeks time. It is going to be a whole new experience for the judge, I am serious and not playing games with you.

      Like

      Comment by Faisal Ismail | August 25, 2013 | Reply

  11. I am commenting about my child custody case. I was overseas working in Afghanistan all the while sending support to my young children and believing that is going where it should be. When I get back and get a job in California and see how the kids are being raised in. I quickly filed custody and paid the fee. I went for a emergency court hearing in February due several issues being brought up. I saw Judge Burch in Guilford County. Even though I had a HUGE amount of evidence and people to testify for me. She still left them with their mother, but made her move in with her father. Now she is in jail for numerous drug convictions and my case is next month. I just hope I am able to get custody this time because my kids don’t deserve to be around that.

    Like

    Comment by Josh | April 24, 2013 | Reply

    • Josh, have you joined us on facebook so we can talk further?

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | April 24, 2013 | Reply

  12. For anyone thinking its just a NC issue, my divorce and child support case is in SC and its just as bad if not worse. I have to pay lifetime alimony, child support and ex-wife lawyer fees because I literally could not afford to go to the hearing (in fact neither one of us lives in SC). I haven’t see or spoke to my child in 3 years. I file complaints with SC Bar Association over the abuses of both lawyers (in fact my lawyer slept with my ex-wife’s lawyer and the judge said that was not a issue) and they refused to even look at the details.

    I lost my job and SC courts took 7 months to even get a hearing set for a adjustment, I have sold everything I own except for my clothes, computer and car to do the right thing, only to have them tell me that they couldn’t do anything unless I paid to have my ex-wife served, then dropped the case when my ex-wife had child support transferred to Family Court (it was with SC DSS cause the ex-wife had to sign papers giving them permission to take me to court when I lost my job and the ex-wife had to go on public assistance which she complained to me every chance she got over having to go sit beside those trailer trash whores, black welfare queens and illegal baby factories).

    It gets even better I found out my ex-employer did not pay my child support (pocketed the money) for the last 6 months I worked there. The SC court system has told me no matter what I am required to pay that money, however they won’t help (because the employer is in NC). But neither the NC Department of Labor nor NC DSS will assist me either.

    And people wonder why their are so many deadbeat dads, the system is a rigged game that if you try to do the right thing you get stuck in front of the feces fan.

    Like

    Comment by oriondarkwood | May 31, 2013 | Reply

    • Yes sir, sounds like SC and NC play by the same playbook! We keep asking Fathers why they are not organizing and putting a stop to this with their shear numbers. It’s been happening for decades.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 31, 2013 | Reply

      • So many of us are beaten down by the system and by society that on top of the emotion crush of having all common sense, logic and rule of law tossed out the window. Like one of the charges in the contested divorce was I left the family, despite the fact that no less than 10 people personally witnessed me packing up in daylight and moving out with my ex-wife there. She knew exactly where I was moving to, we both had even posted on facebook that I was leaving SC.

        Sadly until more and more Father’s stand up and fight the system and distance ourselves from the true deadbeat parents that actively avoid thier payments, move around, change jobs or make money under the table. We will always be those people, those deadbeat parents that are lower than dirt.

        Like

        Comment by oriondarkwood | May 31, 2013

  13. I have 2 little girls, and their mother has custody and is on drugs. She can’t work because of drugs and alcohol , she is getting more of my check than I am. I can’t afford to live, and she and her boyfriend are living together neither of them work, both do drugs, my children get nothing. They dress poorly, the only nice things they get are from my family and me. Wish I could bring them home to me. PRAY

    Like

    Comment by Joseph meadows | June 8, 2013 | Reply

  14. I am going through this battle right now. She tried domestic violence and temporary custody order, but it was thrown out 8 days later. She actually texted me to pick up our two sons from school 7 minutes before the court stamped the eviction order. July 14, 2013, she decided to take all her stuff out of the house and abduct my 3 offspring. I stop my work everyday right before their bed time to talk to them via video chat on my phone. When I called this time, she told me they aren’t coming home, tell me their location, see them or even talk to them. Something very important, after 10 years of State license marriage, it turned out that we are not legally married and to make her life more difficult we have a contract that puts my food on her throat. That’s why she tried the domestic violence, but to her dismay she failed. On the other hand, she cannot stand in court and argue that for once was a caring, loving and a decent mother or even a wife. She absolutely cannot mention or recall one incident that she can tell the court I did one thing out of love for my family. Her worst nightmare is yet to come, over 50 people, friend and families, are in line to go to court to testify on my behalf even my offspring’s teachers from different schools. When I am around, they don’t even acknowledge her at all. They don’t like her to put them to sleep, feed them, take them to places, even my two years old doesn’t let her brush her hair for. Our next court is going to be on September 9, 2013, that’s going to be the fourth time they postponed it. I hope we start the hearing this one.

    Pray for me

    Like

    Comment by Faisal Ismail | August 25, 2013 | Reply

  15. One thing I forgot to mention, I have audio recordings of her confessing to attacking and abusing me physically and verbally on many occasions. Also, recordings of her admitting that I did not even touch once or lay a hand on her in more than 9 years.

    Like

    Comment by Faisal Ismail | August 25, 2013 | Reply

  16. PLEASE HELP! I have a friend of mine who was forced out of the home by his ex wife who was having an affair while still in the marriage. She has taken child support out on him. When it went to court they passed it off a job that HE DOESN’T even work for anymore. At the previous job he was making $14.00 per hour. At the time of the court date he is currently making $9.00. His check (bi-weekly mind you) he is only left with $90 to last him two weeks. This is absolutely absurd. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT CAN BE DONE?!

    Like

    Comment by Gina | January 16, 2014 | Reply

    • The ONLY thing he can do is hire an attorney and file a modification petition to lower child support. He just needs to know that they rarely allow it.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | January 16, 2014 | Reply

  17. Just checking to see if you guys are on to something? Judge brantley only allows me 12 hours a month to see my twin girls. He says it’s because we’re interracial. I’m a white male so my girls are mixed!! I did make a complaint against him with judicial standards and their investigation starts December 9, 2016.

    Like

    Comment by Terry Davis | November 9, 2016 | Reply

  18. I am a father. I love my kids. I have 50/50 shared custody of my 2 kids. I feel I shouldn’t have to pay child support, increasing medical insurance, dental, and vision and pay all the medical bills. Next year, all these increases put me bring home less than my ex wife and she still tells me she needs more money. Fact, if I make her mad she threatens to take me back to increase child support. I need help. What I need is the names of the individuals that came up with the North Carolina Child Support Guidelines. Any direct info would be greatly appreciated. For once, I’m willing to expose them to all.

    Like

    Comment by James Pollard | December 8, 2016 | Reply


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