NC Fathers Rights

The Family Court, Preponderance Of The Evidence, and Domestic Violence Game. Learn How To Play!

The NC family court gameAt the risk of teaching the few remaining people on the planet how to play the family court, domestic violence, and preponderance of the evidence game successfully, we wanted to give you some insights on how things are played and show you why nobody within the court system and legislature is clamoring to fix things even though when you email them they are all to familiar with the problems. If you are a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, or another member of a non-custodial family and you have lost access to your young loved one’s, the information in this article is why.
family courts of NC

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If you are reading this document just to learn how to win full legal and physical custody of a child in any U.S. State and not spend any money, SIMPLY CLICK HERE.

In this article, we are going to be very hard on lawyers, legislators, and Judges, but we do want to acknowledge a select few who are actually opposed to our current system and speak out when they can, but it is important to note that these lawyers and some Judges run the risk of being ostracized and alienated within their own industry for speaking out.

There are actually some good Judges and lawyers in North Carolina who understand this game well, and how it is causing chaos in children and families.

Please consider using our comment system at the end of this article to leave an exhaustive comment about your case in the Family Court system, if it involved Domestic Violence, and how Preponderance of the Evidence was used to make a ruling that did not happen the way the complainant alleged it happened. Also, if you comment, please let us know that city you are from and which County/Parish Family Court you were in (ie. Columbia County SC Family Court)

It is also important to note that many of the laws in place that impact the domestic courts and family courts were created by lobby groups and legislators for good purposes, it is people who have found a way to pervert the laws and use them for ill will. The reason that the courts and lobby groups who represent lawyers and Judges do not fix the problem is that it is just too lucrative to keep the status quo.

First and foremost, there is nothing about our current family law system that is about the best interest of children. Creating a system that encourages two parents to battle for 18 years and each needing the other to be the antichrist is having a devastating impact on our children and people in our state.

We believe that if the courts were setup as a STARTING POINT of equal parentage and equal time, and Judges demanded that parents work together and then start taking away visitation and time as people refused to work with the other parent and for the child, we would have an incentive based system for parents not to battle and actually work together.

Under our current system, one parent who just automatically loses, while the other parent wins, sets off the 18 year battle and game. This starts the process of Mom needing Dad to make a mistake, critiques everything, sets him up, and makes allegations daily because she needs to remain the custodial parent and needs to prevent him from gaining any ground.

Conversely, I have no doubt this happens when fathers have custody and you really can’t blame either parent for playing the game they are FORCED to play in the system.

But be sure, as the game is played, billions of dollars annually are pumped in to the hands of lawyers, psychologist, law enforcement, and other industries.

It is important to note that NC Fathers is NOT a law firm, nor is anyone associated with us a lawyer. All information you read in this document is for informational purposes only.

This concept is the hardest fact to get across to folks who come to us asking how this happened, or wanting to know how he/she could get away with this. It just can’t be legal! Oh but it is.

Our family courts and domestic courts operate under a burden of proof model called “preponderance of the evidence” unlike our criminal courts which operate under either “clear and convincing” or “until proven guilty.”

Under preponderance of the evidence, a Judge needs only 51% information in his/her hands to say that the LIKELIHOOD of either an allegation or some other claim happened to make a judgement. Under preponderance of the evidence, you do NOT need evidence against you to lose in the family courts, and nobody has to prove anything for you to lose. If a Judge FEELS like it happened, it happened and nobody needs to prove it.

This opens the door for bias and ideologies.

Because we have a system where one parent HAS to lose custody and one parent HAS to win custody, people have learned to use false allegations to smear the other parent and hope that they make an impact. The lawyers love false allegations because it starts a billing cycle. Psychologist love false allegations because it means they can bill for assessment and therapy. Lobby groups love false allegations because they compile numbers to present to Congress to appeal for more and more money. NC DSS loves false allegations because it keeps them employed and getting federal money (See Title IV-D below).

At this point we have a family court and domestic court system that is based on an arena where one parent will lose, and one parent will win. Each parent needs the other parent to be responsible for the plague so that he/she can win. We have developed a system where neither parent needs evidence to PROVE the other party did something, and we have a system where the courts do not punish one parent for using a false allegation in order to win.

Why in the world would Judges punish a false allegation and let it be known that you can’t do that when that claim initiates billable court actions. Lawyers across the county would be up in arms!

To make matters worse, Judges, magistrates, and law enforcement in NC operate under the “It’s best to be safe than sorry principle” when likely it’s more just using this principle so that they can get more litigants in to the billable hours system. But, for the sake of this article let’s go with “It’s best to be safe than sorry principle” and show you how everything comes together.

Many of you will recognize this game. In our example we are going to take gender out of the equation because while it may be hard to see it, every gender in the family courts suffers WHEN you take in to consideration the extended families who love their grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and step-siblings.

Ready to play the game? This is how to win full legal custody of a child and force the other parent (and family) in to submission and out of a child’s life using the NC courts own rules. Let’s get started…

The starting point can vary and usually happens like this:

1. One parent has decided to divorce and has planned for months, then decides it is time to leave and does so with children in tow. That parent can move anywhere in the country or world legally with the children and not communicate his/her whereabouts if there is no court order. This costs exactly $0.

The other parent is then forced in to the system at the STARTING COST of $5000 to hire a lawyer to find the other parent and children. Don’t have $5000? Then you never see your kids again, and nor does your extended family.

If you do not find the money within 6 months, then the other parent has established residency in another country or state, and has also gotten the child in school and established CONSISTENCY. Now, one parent is burdened with traveling abroad or across country to hire an attorney and lord knows we know that you can attend 40 hearing before a final action is taken. Can you imagine traveling to California from NC 40 times? Our legislators, lawyers, and judges simply do not care, as long as money is exchanging hands. Can you imagine what visitation looks like between NC and California? You are effectively done.

Now, if you are lucky enough to find the other parent and you have $5000, the minute the other parent is served, there will be an immediate allegation of child abuse, spousal abuse, or sexual sexual abuse. It is every divorce attorney’s favorite go to weapon and it works because remember under preponderance of the evidence you need NO evidence, witnesses, or proof to make a claim, a Judge only needs 51% likelihood to say it happened, and there is no penalty to make a false claim.

Once the claim is made, you are not seeing your children and there will be an automatic restraining order placed on you. Again here no evidence is needed, and magistrates and judges hand them out like candy on the “It’s best to be safe than sorry” principle to cover themselves politically (or look good politically).

In this country, once you are alleged to be a child abuser or spousal abuser, a Judge is then in a politically bad position. He or she only needs 51% likelihood to send you down the river in the first place, and it is not a good political gamble to take a chance on the accused when children are involved.

It just to easy politically to cut you out of the child’s life.

2. If one parent decides that it is time to leave a marriage or relationship and decides not to leave the house, the other parent WILL be leaving and this too is thanks to our “It’s best to be safe than sorry” system and preponderance of the evidence.

It is important to remember that lawyers groups and others have successfully lobbied Congress to lower the definition of Domestic VIOLENCE down to emotional levels. Domestic Violence as defined by the NC Bar Association today is:

Domestic violence is attempting to cause or intentionally causing bodily injury or placing the victim in fear of imminent serious bodily injury. Continued harassment can constitute domestic violence if it causes substantial emotional distress. There needs to be a current or former relationship between the victim and abuser such as spouses, roommates, parent/child, or boyfriend/girlfriend“.

Let’s take a close look at “Continued harassment can constitute domestic violence if it causes substantial emotional distress” because this is where they get you. What does “emotional distress” look and feel like? How is it quantified and qualified? It is about as subjective as it gets. If I know that all I need is me getting emotional over a loud argument I helped create and engaged in to make him/her an abuser in public and can win immediate custody and maintain status of all community property, you bet I am going to jump all over that!

Hello, 911?

With this in mind, when one parent knowing he/she wants to leave a marriage and is ready to make it happen, he/she engages the other parent in a dispute, it gets loud, the neighbors hear it, the kids hear it, doors are slammed, fingers pointed, threats to leave, or “I’m going to take the kids from you and you will never see them again” and under our current laws it is Domestic Violence. There DOES NOT have to be actual battery or assault. There are millions of parents and grandparents who will never see their kids again because one parent is a domestic violence offender because she/he participated in a loud dispute where the other person got emotional and was simply unlucky enough not to be the one to call 911.

It is hard to imagine ANY marriage today not having domestic violence in it and we think many Judges, lawyers, psychologist, court reporters, DSS officials, law enforcement LOVES IT because it triggers billable hours and federal money.

The first parent who hears “911, what is your emergency” is going to be the one who wins. The other parent is now going to jail and lose a job either via the police or magistrate under “It’s best to be safe than sorry” and you have a 50/50 chance of being adjudicated guilty without any marks, witnesses, or evidence. And in today’s politically correct system, it is best for a Judge to send you down the river. It is important to remember that most Judges and their spouses for political reasons sit on Domestic Violence boards, so it’s not surprising to see all of those with allegations adjudicated guilty at least in the civil court sense.

Once the allegation is made, ONLY the allegation, you are jailed, lose a job, have to find new housing even if you can’t get to your bank account, you are on the hook for criminal charges and now hiring a lawyer for the family courts. Can’t get the money? Say good bye to your children because you are not seeing them again.

No evidence, no witnesses, no proof, a politically correct Judge under the gun, and salivating lawyers wanting money and you, the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, and other family members are never seeing your children again until they are 18.

There is another animal involved in this wheel and that is the State of North Carolina (all U.S. States) who scrambles each year to find money for budgets. The State, as are all states, need federal dollars to run services. Without a doubt the single largest influx of federal dollars coming in to all U.S. States is from the Title IV-D system that keeps social services afloat. The trigger for the money? A parent who is not an equal parent, but a parent who is court ordered out of their kid’s lives so they pay child support and the greater amount please because we get more federal money against the more we collect.

less time spent with you kids = more child support collected = more Title IV-D money for NC

Sorry kid, you can’t see your mom/dad, we got money to collect. And the other parent is fine because they get child support, and access to all the wonderful social services benefits if needed (or dependent on).

At this point, one really needs to ask the question. Why end Domestic Violence when it generates so much money for many industries? Why create a equal system when it creates so much money for lawyers when two parents battle like gladiators? Depressed and suicidal kids? Awesome, let’s get them in to court appointed counseling and bill. Oh, you are in jail based just on an allegation that doesn’t need to be proven? That’s OK, we are getting federal Domestic Violence money that is more than what it costs to keep you here.

Our system has LITERALLY monetized Domestic Violence. There is No desire to end Domestic Violence.

While I am sure it makes the public feel good, and no doubt the alleged victim loves it, the only thing we do with domestic violence offenders is put them in jail to further harden them, immediately take away their kids, force them out of employment, and ostracize them in society. And after release, we expect them to be model citizens? The state, nor social services, nor the family court cares about this because the likelihood of re-offending is now greater upon release which is good for lawyers billing schedule and lobbyist who are keeping statistics and fund raising.

As for the lobby groups, you are an awesome new statistic they can put on paper as they walk to Congress and shed a tear at to get new federal money to pretend to want to fix an issue that really makes them RICH!

And, nobody in Raleigh gives a damn because the lobby groups that control this wheel would eat them for lunch!

If you want to learn how all of this works, SIMPLY CLICK HERE.

HOW TO WIN FULL LEGAL AND PHYSICAL CUSTODY OF A CHILD IN ANY U.S. STATE WITH NO MONEY

So, how do you win the Family Court game? It’s easy. 1) If there is no court order, leave the house and go to another country or state and hide out for 6 months. 2) Get emotional, call 911, say “I’m scared” and don’t worry about needing evidence.

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July 28, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

20 Comments »

  1. The NC Family Courts really are a disgusting group of people who should be ostracized in their communities but I realize they have money and people fall all over their feet. My son has not seen his daughter, nor have I my granddaughter in 6 years all because we absolutely have no idea where she fled to after leaving my son.

    We simply do not have the money to hire an attorney and what good would it do now, it’s seven years. She is probably remarried and acclimated her newest husband in as the child’s father by now and established her home and obviously jurisdiction. Seeing this happens makes me hate any public figure in this entire bloody system because everyone is knowing what is happening and they are too scare to stand up to the lawyers lobby union.

    Our case was heard in the Buncombe County NC Family Courts

    Like

    Comment by Areola | July 29, 2015 | Reply

  2. So basically preponderance of the evidence gives any Judge in NC the OK to be bias, discriminating, and insures that as much gas can be thrown on the fire to get it hotter SO that more money comes out of the hands of the litigants.

    Seriously, who really believes that all Judges across use ethics and don’t decide a case until he or she has 51% likelihood? Keep sending more and more men out of their children’s lives and make them lose their jobs on just an allegations and watch the Domestic Violence rate skyrocket, but I guess as you plainly put in this article, Domestic Violence is actually a good thing for lawyers since it’s billable.

    Like the comment above me, these people really need to be shunned in their community, their families need to be shunned, and businesses need to be shunned till they get it. This really is sick stuff and the feminist lobby groups have NO idea that for every father they get they also ensnare two females in his family that they infuriate too. I was in the Wake County NC Family Courts.

    Like

    Comment by Eric | July 29, 2015 | Reply

  3. Get this, I had a family member call 911 on me for assault, the police arrived (THREE OF THEM – 1 FEMALE) and were literally there for 2.5 hours investigating. Talked to all parties 5 times and LEFT on no probable cause. So the female claiming assault decides to go to the local Magistrate who has only ONE side and heard the matter for 2 minutes and issued an arrest order for me. How exactly does this happen? Bias? Just pushing threw ALL Domestic Violence complaints on men hoping to get them in the system so they can be used as a statistic?

    I’m also a highly decorated Marine who served three combat tours, I just want to say to the Judges in the Onslow County NC Courts that you can blow me!

    Like

    Comment by Hamilton | July 29, 2015 | Reply

  4. Mecklenburg County NC Family Court

    When I was at my son’s hearing, it seemed like there was just a backlog and also that the Judge simply hated the domestic court tour and they just dismissed of cases without putting much thought in to it.

    Unfortunately, these cases have seriously profound impacts on emotions and families at a time when things are already raw, and I agree that this inflames domestic violence.

    In short, my son simply wanted to be a partner in his child’s like and got every other weekend instead. As a woman, I figured it was the usual bias but now I read about this federal money and have to wonder just how far down it goes.

    Like

    Comment by Kim | July 29, 2015 | Reply

  5. I have a friend who went to jail again last night because his wife called 911 and said the words needed to say to have him arrested, this is his 15th time in jail and you may say that I need to get a new friend or get him some help. The problem, each time the police come out they find nothing more than two people who should divorce each engaging in a dispute, no bruises, no signs of violence and leave, then she goes to a magistrate and gets an order and then in court is found to be making false allegations.

    So in our case, which I am not discounting this article because I am sure in our NC county this does happen, the court is up on her game but the magistrate seems prepared to take all accusations as true. He is real lucky that he hasn’t lost his job yet.

    And again this is partially his fault for not divorcing her. This is all happening in the Catawba County NC Family Court.

    Like

    Comment by Paul | July 29, 2015 | Reply

  6. There is another side to this that this article didn’t touch on, and that there is a big problem with Domestic Violence in this country and much of it is seen in the county family courts in NC and I supposed in other States as well.

    The courts seem more interested in simply putting people in to another industry to combat Domestic Violence which is jail and does really nothing for anyone and they just come out more angry, or not being treated for the underlying issues like illness and substance abuse.

    Like

    Comment by Margaret | July 29, 2015 | Reply

    • Margaret, that is because the goal is to not stop domestic violence, professional lobby groups need high statistics and more accounts of it happening so that they can get massive amounts of state and federal money. The only goal here is to make someone an offender so they pay greater child support which helps with Title IV-D money, gets a lot of billable hours in for lawyers, gets law enforcement their federal money, then get the “offender” back out more angry and despondent know that they have lost a job and wait for him/her to do it again so another lawyer can bill.

      Nobody is trying to treat the underlying issues that cause domestic violence just like nobody is trying to end the illegal transport of drugs in to this country because we have a prison industry and a lot of guards that need to get paid, lawyers to bill, Judges that have an eye on politics, and others that make lots of money on people going to jail.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | July 29, 2015 | Reply

    • Margaret, that is because the goal is to not stop domestic violence, professional lobby groups need high statistics and more accounts of it happening so that they can get massive amounts of state and federal money. The only goal here is to make someone an offender so they pay greater child support which helps with Title IV-D money, gets a lot of billable hours in for lawyers, gets law enforcement their federal money, then get the “offender” back out more angry and despondent know that they have lost a job and wait for him/her to do it again so another lawyer can bill.

      Nobody is trying to treat the underlying issues that cause domestic violence just like nobody is trying to end the illegal transport of drugs in to this country because we have a prison industry and a lot of guards that need to get paid, lawyers to bill, Judges that have an eye on politics, and others that make lots of money on people going to jail.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | July 29, 2015 | Reply

  7. Ok in Granville county, wife wanted me out. Took easy way out. Went to magistrate, lied said i was yelling and throwing things and guess what?? Booted out, no evidence. What kind of state is NC? It is all going to be thrown out but i mean displaced, have not seen children in months!!! Where is the justice for DADS????

    Like

    Comment by Chris | July 29, 2015 | Reply

    • Chris, while it may seem like it is just happening to fathers, this kind of thing is also happening to females. We get contacted by hundreds of females a day you are losing their children to issues that could easily be fixed if the courts would start looking at helping families instead of the one strike you are out policy. Now certainly this happens to 10 times more fathers and men, and I am not suggesting that there isn’t a bias. But there are a LOT of people who make money of Domestic Violence. Just from VAWA there is 500 million dollars a year going to fund 1) Research grants run my college professors 2) Lobby groups 3) Law Enforcement 4) The family courts 5) Social services. There are authors who have made millions off writing about Domestic Violence. There are psychologist and psychiatrist who need people to treat. Law enforcement gets money off every Domestic Violence arrest that is ten times what the get from the state to house an inmate. Lots, and lots, and lots of people are making money off there being a Domestic Violence epidemic and it’s not hard to manufacture an epidemic by lowering the definition to essentially what happens in every marriage and that is arguments that many times get loud.

      Then when you add in preponderance of the evidence, which dictates that you don’t need any evidence to make an allegation or win your allegation in courts and that Judge knows that many agencies are going to get much needed federal money for a conviction, it’s not hard to see the problem. We aren’t saying there isn’t a domestic violence problem cause there is a horrible one, but you see very little money actually making it down to shelters and for treatment programs to actually stop it. All the money is going to book writers and researchers and professional lobbyist who really need there to be a problem to they can make money.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | July 29, 2015 | Reply

  8. Reblogged this on FOUNDATION FOR THE CHILD VICTIMS OF THE FAMILY COURTS.

    Like

    Comment by JILL JONES-SODERMAN | July 29, 2015 | Reply

  9. This describes void judgment by offending procedural law denying due process.

    Like

    Comment by Old Patriot | July 30, 2015 | Reply

    • Again, we are not a law firm nor an attorney, but “due process” is a criminal court procedure, not a civil court procedure.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | July 31, 2015 | Reply

  10. Oh I was arrested on false charges of April Fool’s Day, punished for being a US Marine kept in jail over Memorial Day, punished for being a dad kept in jail over Father’s Day and held for $40,000 secured bond for my wife coming to see me and not getting what she wanted and the judge declaring me guilty and after a year and half still waiting for my appeal to happen. We must come together and be one supporting one anther.

    Like

    Comment by Alan Hoyle | August 11, 2015 | Reply

  11. This is Shayne with an update from Asheville yesterday my wife’s attorney filed an emergency custody order on the grounds that I am homeless I was falsely evicted from my home but was in another home in a week. She stopped letting me see the twins wont let them talk to me on the phone calls the police if I stop by to see them her sister who works for DSS filed a no contact order claiming I was stalking her after sending one text telling her to stay out of my custody battle. I just cant understand how all her attorney has to do is file lies and I cant see my twins I have gone from fighting to have equal time to fighting just to see them if anyone can help or has advice call me

    Like

    Comment by sthomp1972 | August 13, 2015 | Reply

    • Shane, we moved your comment here as we thought it would be a better article for your comment and will give you the opportunity for you to read what has happened to you.

      FACTS: 1) Anyone in NC can go to a magistrate or call 911 to report violence and they will get an arrested warrant without any evidence or witnesses. 2) From that you will have a restraining order and be prevented from seeing your children. 3) You will also likely get an ex-parte order and 4) Unless you have serious amounts of money at hand you sir, are never going to see your children again. All over an allegation and no witnesses.

      Within the family courts, you will hear the clinks of wine glasses coming together because there is a new group of people to bill in to bankruptcy. If you have the money, you better get on it fast. If you don’t have the money this service will allow you to pay $199 a month and help you get the papers and whatnot to fight pro se.

      There are millions of men that this is happening to, don’t feel alone. The new federal definitions of Domestic Violence make anything family violence as it’s assured to create more court battles for lawyer billing and for professional lobby groups to get more federal money on the surge of “violence” which is usually both parties yelling and screaming at each other, a slammed door or two and the first one to 911 wins.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | August 13, 2015 | Reply

  12. Bit different scenario in my case. Full custody of a child for 15 years, mom no where in the picture. Now that he’s a teenager, he stays with her for a month during the summer, she files emergency custody on a lot of false allegations. Though Judge Helms of Union County admits he has no jurisdiction on the case he will not dismiss, so I have in effect lost my child and been unable to see him for 5 months now. Bio mother is calling all the shots and seems even with attorney, there is nothing I can do. Having mental health issues(son), he just goes along with anything he’s told as long as she lets him do as he pleases. By the time an appeal is heard it’s too late to make any kind of difference. There is definitely something seriously flawed in the system that allows this type of thing to go on.

    Like

    Comment by Sharon C | January 10, 2016 | Reply

  13. One item that needs addressing is the magistrate system. This needs to go the way of the dodo. Magistrates are poorly trained, many spectacularly ignorant, and have no clue of constitutional rights. warrants and restraining orders are issued without any supporting real evidence. I was the victim of this. I did the lawyer thing, only to be ripped off. If you have an attorney with the last name of Massie or Van Dyken, run like hell. I fought myself, all the way to the court of appeals and won. But the damage was done. Lost my career, had to move from my hometown, tons of money. It is time for men to band together and combat this insanity. The domestic violence industry is more corrupt than most anything else I have seen.

    Like

    Comment by w. Rudder | December 29, 2016 | Reply

  14. This article is BS. I do actually have an ex that verbally/emotionally and at times physically abused me and my son. After 18 years of marriage – I left, walked away from everything I had worked for – because he never worked- and took my kids and left. I tried to be amicable even though he had treated his family so poorly. I always swore that I would never use my children as pawns – if they wanted to see him, they saw him – I tried to follow their lead. My ex continued to make up lies, rant around my children – then inappropriately touched my 12 year old daughter – I called DSS and was told by my ex that I over reacted – that he got no gratification from it so it should be ok!!!! DSS disagreed with him. Now he is angry – I’ve had to call the police 4 times in the last month to make him leave my house – once banned from my house he would park across the street and blow the horn for an hour! Even with all of that I couldn’t get a protective order to make him stop harassing me – so this week he calls my bosses wife to spread his lies and then showed up at my work and the police were called. I still couldn’t get a protective order to make him stay away and he didn’t go to jail. The system is NOT for the victims – it protects the bad guys always. If he hasn’t threatened physical harm to me or my kids they do nothing!! Even with a safety plan from DSS in place saying he cannot be around my daughter he does as he pleases, the police make him leave but there are no consequences for him. It is all a bad joke

    Like

    Comment by Nancy | February 2, 2017 | Reply

    • So because you experienced it, then it must be true across the board huh?

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | March 10, 2017 | Reply


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