NC Fathers Rights

NC Family Courts Hurt Families And Children

NC Family Courts Hurt Families And ChildrenBefore we talk about how the NC Family Courts hurt families and children, it is important to say that hopefully anyone alive with children these days wants the best outcomes for their children even if that involves a divorce or relationship breakdown. And, there is overwhelming evidence that divorce has a serious impact on children physically, emotionally, and psychologically if the divorce is bitter and involves 18 years of battles.

Simply put, any divorce involving kids has the best outcomes when the parents are able to put aside their differences and reaches their own child custody and visitation/ shared parenting agreement outside the NC Family Courts. Unfortunately, that is hard to do for a large number of parents because of bad communication skills, even if they have the mentality and even desire to reach an agreement.

We suspect that many parents are able to reach agreement, it’s their ability to communicate that gets in the way. And, unfortunately, these cases always ends up in the family courts.

NC Family Courts and Judges

Divorce Lawyer

Today, in talking with a friend of mine, a female who has custody of her child and who’s husband has the usual every other weekend and one other day every other week confided in me that she really wants to do equally shared parenting with her husband, who also wants to do it. But here is the problem she grapples with.

We all know that the NC Family Courts knows no other way to deal with custody that to empower one parent while pushing the other parent to the farthest margins of the child’s life. It’s all they have known for going on 70 years. It makes sense to the courts, because it extracts the largest child support possible which ensures U.S. States get the largest possible Title IV-D money at the end of the month from the government, and it ensures that two parents will fight for 18 years which makes lawyers money.

My friend told me that if she tells the court that her ex, while in her assertion is a horrible husband but a good father, she may lose the upper hand with the courts that could possibly give him custody.

NC Family Courts and Lawyers

In short, she needs the courts to see him as a horrible person so that she does not possibly lose custody even though she wants her children to have access and be raised by both parents.

This is why if shared parenting was how our family courts operated, it would allow more parents like this to not lose custody as there is no advantage for either parent and every bit of advantage for the children.

If there is nothing to win (or lose in this case) in the courts, then parents will find ways to put their children’s best interest at heart instead of manufacturing data to excoriate the other parent so he/she can win a court battle.

If you are a non-custodial family member in NC who has concerns about how the NC Family Courts operate, or if you are someone who realizes that the family courts in North Carolina create more problems for children, then we encourage you to join our FACEBOOK PAGE and get involved within the organization. Also, we hope that you will share this document with friends and family on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and other networks so that we can send a message to Judges and Legislators that the time has come to reform the NC Family Courts.

Additionally, we STRONGLY encourage you to use the comment system below to give us your most succinct thoughts on the family courts in NC, and suggest ways in which the industry can be reformed.

If you comment, please indicate which NC county you are from.

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December 16, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized

13 Comments »

  1. Has it occurred to anyone in this organizations that the family courts are biased against men because you are systematically beating women to death on a cataclysmic scale?

    Like

    Comment by Shannon | December 17, 2013 | Reply

    • We might consider that if it were true. You should probably read -> https://ncfathers.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/judy-chaet-operations-director-turns-her-back-on-some-violence/ as well as the 8 linked pages at the bottom, and check back daily for new additions.

      Your narrative that only men are committing domestic violence does not work anymore, but I realize that for now the NC Courts are aligned with you. We plan on changing that by uniting the 4.5 million non-custodial families in this state, and getting women in those families to stand up and start talking their experiences with female on male abuse.

      Also, you do realize that Judges have sons who probably don’t appreciate you painting such a broad stroke over their sons?

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | December 17, 2013 | Reply

      • So you are saying that men do not commit domestic violence? That is pretty sick

        Like

        Comment by Shannon | December 17, 2013

      • Shannon, you are looking for a fight and not staying in context of my reply. I said no such thing. I said that both men and women commit domestic violence and it does not matter who is doing it the most/less our goal should be to end ALL violence.

        Like

        Comment by stompkinsnc | December 17, 2013

  2. My biggest problem with the family court is that it cost one parent no money to leave a marriage, leave the state, hide the kids for years, and costs the other parents tens of thousands of dollars to find the kids and then get a petition into the courts.

    By the time that happens, Judges usually say that the child is acclimated where they are and the malicious parent gets away with it.

    Also, do you realize how many families in NC do not have tens of thousands of dollars, mush less a few thousand dollars? In these cases, it appears that lawyers and judges are fine with you never seeing your children again.

    Like

    Comment by Timothy in Wake County | December 17, 2013 | Reply

  3. It REALLY makes me angry that the State of NC will come after you with the full force of the federal government if you are late on child support, but if you are not late and they other parent plays games with you visitation, judges blow it off and it costs you thousands to get into court only to have the courts tell you it’s OK.

    Like

    Comment by James in Buncombe County | December 17, 2013 | Reply

  4. paternal grandmother in Guilford County who is very much a supporter of this organization. Tell me who to vote for and you best believe I will follow after being involved in this system!

    Like

    Comment by Kate | December 17, 2013 | Reply

  5. If I am late on child support, I go to jail. I can’t get social services help because I’m not a custodial parent.

    The custodial parent gets in trouble financially and there are tons of support systems in place to save her, help her go to school, get jobs, health insurance, etc…

    Yea, real fair system!

    Keep up the good work Mrs. Terrell

    Like

    Comment by Kevin Hodges in Pitt County NC | December 17, 2013 | Reply

  6. I am a father who has daughters that are adults now. I went through the family courts when most of you weren’t born and let me tell you it was medieval back then compared to now.

    Here is some information that may help most of you. Save all documents, everything. On the morning of your kids 18th birthday, when you can effectively tell all NC judges to go to you know where, show your children who likely were taught you abandoned them all the documents and let them have discussions with their mothers on why.

    I may have missed 18 years of their lives because of the courts, but now I have a very solid relationship with my girls, who have a very real problem with their mother’s alienation tactics with the courts approval.

    Like

    Comment by Jack in Mecklenburg County NC | December 17, 2013 | Reply

  7. Why can’t the courts see that their two tier system, empowering one parent while demoralizing one parent to a visitor creates family fighting which hurts the kids?

    Why can’t they see that their mediation program is a joke? Why would mothers mediate when they can go into court and win everything?

    The NC courts are a joke.

    Like

    Comment by KM in Carteret County NC | December 17, 2013 | Reply

  8. I hope NC Fathers reaches enough people soon to start changing legislation to make the system more fair. I will be watching and tell me how I can help.

    Like

    Comment by OP in Onslow County | December 17, 2013 | Reply

    • OP, we already have enough members in this organization to cause real problem for the Governor come next election. If we can get all members to invite just one family member to follow their vote, then the Governor will not be re-elected unless he takes on family law reform.

      I think most legislators under estimate how many really angry NCPs and families there are in this state who are coming to us behind the scenes.

      Stay tuned my friend.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | December 17, 2013 | Reply

  9. The NC courts have destroyed my relationship between me and my daughters, and my daughters and their grandmother (my mother). You can best believe I support this organization!

    Like

    Comment by Jackson in Wake County NC | December 17, 2013 | Reply


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