Facebook Recap For November 2013

Below are two articles recently published on Facebook in November of 2013

Oh My God, You People [NC Fathers] Are Full Of Crap!

Daily, we get custodial parents who come on our Facebook page and website to attack us over their belief that our organization is going to bring shared parenting to fathers and mothers who are not active in their kid’s lives. Does anyone REALLY think that the State of North Carolina is going to enact a law that MAKES people who don’t want to be parents to have 50% time with their children?

Our organization is about those parents WHO DO want to be active as an equal parent and are denied that access by the courts, not attempting to get parents who don’t want to be parents equally shared parenting.

Of course, we suspect that those that SAY they want the other parent to be more involved will be the first to be in court to prevent it.

So for those of you who come on our page and scream at us about trying to bring legislation to force non-interested parents into having equal parentage, please stop your whining and try to do more listening than arguing to protect your coveted family court sanctioned power trip.

Well, It Has Happened Again

Well it’s happened again. Today another custodial family member came on our Facebook page to inform us that what we are doing is teaching deadbeat parents how to hurt their children and to keep from paying child support.

Now we understand that for the custodial parent and family, the current system is perfect. They get all the power, >80% of the time with the children, financial assistance, daycare assistance, educational assistance, housing assistance, job assistance, tax incentives, medical/dental assistance, and other programs to do pretty well. And of course, custodial families need for us and our horrible family to be the worst people on the planet so they they can maintain custody and build a support system around being victims of our desire to hurt our kids and their families. I have yet to meet a malicious custodial parent who wanted to maintain custody not say that the other parent is responsible for killing children, baby kittens being killed, is responsible for all the rapes in NC, all domestic violence, global warming, the plague, and other various social ills. Indeed this is what are courts have created. In their desire to only see one parent have all the power, it’s sets off a 18 year war where both parents try to “win” and the only way to win is to make the other parent the “bad” parent. This is very damaging to children, and all it takes to see that is the rising divorce rate, rate at which parents are fighting custody battles, and it’s direct relation to teen pregnancy and suicide, bullying, the dramatic increase in kids going to Dr’s being put on various powerful drugs, and whatnot.

But I have had enough of the statement that non-custodial parents just want shared parenting to keep from having to pay child support. Well, to the individual who made contact with us, chew on this bit of data.

The person your were talking to today is a parent that has EXACTLY 50% of time with his child and pays no child support. Prior to that, I was a NCP who payed $450 a month to the ex and that was ALL I had to pay. Now that I have my children 50% of the time, I am responsible for clothes, food, medical costs, school related activities, social activities, medications, and the various other monies expended on children.

In reality, I put out FAR more money to my children then I was ever required by the State of North Carolina.

The narrative that we want joint custody to keep from paying child support is a clever statement made by various legislators and other groups who love the current system and are scared to death that NC’s non-custodial families will rise up and change things so that they can continue to get federal money from collecting more and more child support; federal money that keeps social services afloat. Therefore, they hope that by making these statements we will be scared to be vocal and stay in our little boxes by social stigmatization.

We know most of you on our Facebook page are scared to death to contribute for fear of your friends will confront you and say “Oh my god, you don’t support child support enforcement? How dare you not want to support your children!!”

In reality, you do want to support your children DIRECTLY as an equal parent.

The other issue I have a problem with is that this person told us that the “bad” parent, the one we were helping, is nothing more than a drunk who has no desire to see his kids.

This statement was said in almost a gloating way, like she enjoyed the other parent having a alcohol problem so that he would lose in court. Not, we really are concerned that little David’s dad has a problem with alcohol so we are trying to help this man out so that little David can have a dad. Nope, in short, David’s father having a alcoholic dad fits nicely in which us continuing to maintain custody. And that people, is a not only sick, it is exactly why we are attempting to reform the courts to empower both parents so that parents have no reason to excoriate the other parent in order to win a court battle.

Stop Letting Misinformation Define You As It Relates To Child Support

We can’t tell you how many people per day who come to us and tell us that they want to be more involved, but fear being chastised by friends and family over disagreeing with child support. We understand that because the state and government has done a great job of socializing people into believing that the ONLY way you can support your children is via paying money to them via the government.

When confronted with the notion that you are a bad parent because you do not believe in child support, calmly explain that you do want to support your children directly and have equal parentage. Explain that child support enforcement just deals with financial needs, and that by your being an equal parent, you can address financial and emotional and psychological needs. Also explain that you actually spend more money on your kids when you directly have them as opposed to a set dollar amount dictated by the government.

Also, something we have noted is that when you talk about this issue, the opposition automatically has either been trained or socialized into defining you by the parents who make a decision to not be a parent. Do not let them define you. Calmly tell them that we are talking about parents who ARE NOT absent by choice, but rather by the courts.