NC Fathers Rights

Gregory Currie And Verizon: Thoughts On Domestic Violence

Gregory Currie And Verizon Support ViolenceGregory Currie is a Verizon employee who also sits on the Board of Directors at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and someone familiar with how this organization is run. First, we want to thank Mr. Currie for standing up for victims of Domestic Violence in the first place as a Man, but we have to call him and Verizon out for not being committed to ending all violence. In addition, we are going to ask Greg Currie why Verizon pulled a public service announcement, no actually we are going to ask why it was even made in the first place but we will get to that shortly, that clearly shows Verizon’s attempt at only focusing on one aspect of Domestic Violence while also stigmatizing young underage boys which presumably fits in with the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence attempts to blame patriarchy and gender oppression for violence instead of the more mainstream reasons that perpetuate violence for all Humans. The main question we have for Gregory Currie is, did Verizon make the mistake of partnering with the NCCADV as a PR move and not do their homework on efforts to end all violence, or was this also a PR attempt to appeal to Women?

there is no excuse for domestic violence

In the video below, notice how the little girl speaks for girls, but not boys. Notice how Verizon makes sure they mention Dads as though they are Monsters, and attempts to stigmatize little boys as future Domestic Violence batterers which presumably the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence needs in the future for fund raising efforts or as statistics they can send to Congress to make sure that NC gets their fair share of the $550,000 VAWA pie they hand out yearly. Below this awful video, we will provide more commentary.

Domestic Violence Worker Arrested For Domestic Violence

Coalition at University Campus

We, along with national Domestic Violence organizations who have the goal of ending ALL violence, find it particularly disturbing that Verizon (and presumably Gregory Currie) would attempt to have the public believe that only Fathers are Monsters and batterers, and that Domestic Violence does not happen between lesbian and gay couples or perpetuated by Women. The Board of Directors at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence can bury their head in the sand on unilateral violence if they want to and play gender and sexual politics, but this organization is committed on calling them out using video and news reports of such.

Please be sure to view our articles on Judy Chaet, as well as the ones HERE, and HERE to make this point.

Our message to Gregory Currie is that there is an awful lot of violence going on in the articles we just pointed our 2,000 daily readers to, are you sure Verizon does not want to correct itself on Domestic Violence and help the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence understand that playing politics and games on this issue is bad and seems geared towards just ending certain gender perpetuated violence?

Do I need to continue this article Gregory like I did with the others in your organization showing where Women hit little girls and boys? Do I need to start showing this video to the HUGE numbers of non-custodial Fathers and Women in paternal families who experience false allegations of Domestic Violence in NC?

Another question we have for Gregory Currie and Verizon is why is the NCCADV not doing anything about false allegations used in family court as a tactical advantage in custody matters? Don’t these allegations cast a shadow of doubt on all allegations of violence as more and more Women in paternal families witness them?

Gregory, are you a Father? Do you know how easy it is for an allegation of Domestic Violence to be used against Men (and will be used against little boys in the future) and he be found guilty based on no evidence or witnesses to alleged violence? Gregory, do you know which NC coalition made sure these laws exists in the State?

Why is preponderance of the evidence used instead of clear and convincing evidence in the courts Mr. Currie? Is it used to inflate the statistics on violence so that Congress will feel compelled to send more money to the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence?

Can Gregory Currie and Verizon explain why the definition of Domestic Violence was lowered in VAWA such that almost any disagreement between a Man and Woman can be considered as violence? Here is a quote contained in a publicly available handout by the NC Bar Association which clearly shows this problem “Domestic violence is attempting to cause or intentionally causing bodily injury or placing the victim in fear of imminent serious bodily injury.”

So Gregory, imagine that you and your wife or girlfriend have an argument and she has decided to leave the relationship and wants to win a custody battle. At this point you are just arguing, and she picks up the phone as calls 911 to report you on the fear that you are about to harm her. Any idea who is going to jail for arguing Mr. Currie? Oh your not worried because there is no evidence? Dis you read our article on preponderance of the evidence Gregory?

Millions of Men and Women in NC paternal families are looking at you Gregory. And, if we have any say so in the matter, we will be asking them to look at Verizon as well when they enter our organization. Any idea how many non-custodial families there are in NC Mr. Currie?

Where does Verizon stand on these two videos below? They were all to quick to put out a PSA on Domestic Violence portraying a Dad beating his daughter and wife while implying that he is training his son to be an eventual offender. Yet, they completely overlook the thousands of videos on Youtube showing this.

and in this video the female KNOWS to say “ah I can call the police and say you kicked me in my stomach” and use her unborn child to inflame the false allegation, right before she assaults two people. This is what Verizon is teaching your sons to endure because ONLY men commit violence.

We wonder if Gregory Currie has ever made a decision in his family, and if so, we welcome him to the patriarchy club. Yep, it’s just that easy for the NCCADV.

where is her lawyerShame on Gregory Currie and Verizon, shame on you for only standing up for women and children who have experienced domestic violence and death, shame on you for not advocating for this child, her torture, her need for survival. In all the presentations you give, I want you to remember this child and for anyone who gasps at this article and shakes their head, you remember you are part of the problem because you are doing a great job of only ending half the problem of violence and abuse.


August 10, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Judy Chaet, Operations Director, Turns Her Back On NC Violence?

Judy Chaet, Operations Director at the NC Coalition Against Domestic ViolenceJudy Chaet is the operations director of the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence who is charged with administering lobby efforts within the State of NC. This article is going to call out Judy Chaet on the NCCADV’s gender discrimination and use of gender and sexual politics to misinform the public about Domestic Violence in the State of North Carolina. I also want to make it very clear to Women in paternal families that this organization is directly involved in lobby efforts to quash any talks of equally shared parenting in the State of NC on the grounds that your sons, brothers, husbands, and fathers are likely and probable domestic violence offenders who would kill his ex-spouse and children if he had more time with them. Of course, we are going to ask Judy Chaet if this is true, why isn’t there a massive murder spree every other weekend when Men get their children, and ask her to explain the psychology that says Men will only kill their children and ex-wife if they have their children 5+ days a month but won’t less than 4 days a month. Our belief is that attacking Domestic Violence globally requires every breathing person on this planet to stand up to do so and we are sorry to see the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Judy Chaet devolve to gender and sexual politics in order to more funding. In short, this organization gives us the impression that they are not at all concerned about Domestic Violence, but rather radical feminist theories covered up by this issue and we are asking Women concerned that their sons will be caught up in a zero evidenced based false allegation one day and be found guilty on the bad laws this organization promotes, and most certainly Women in paternal families.


The video below makes ALL the points we could possibly make in this article. This video shows three things, that Women have learned that by making false allegations of male on female violence she can win any argument, or get anything she needs. Notice how right before she threatens to call 911 she says “you just kicked me in the stomach”, WHILE the other female in the room supports it. Then, she used her unborn child to further inflame the issue, THEN commits violence twice. This is what Judy Chaet and the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence are teaching young women. This is happening to your sons daily. This is patriarchy? What IS likely in this situation is that every male in this house would have been arrested, while the females aren’t had the police been called.  And, here is ANOTHER PERFECT example. Boys have been stigmatized as always the batterer, girls and women know this and feel empowered that they will not face consequences.

there is no excuse for domestic violence

Why are we writing this article? On The NCCADV website, they list the reasons for Domestic Violence in NC as patriarchy and gender oppression which is clearly aimed just at Men leading us to believe that this organization is more about politics than violence. Nowhere do they mention alcohol and substance abuse, mental and emotional abuse, poverty, loss of employment, or other stressors that unfortunately leads to  humans lashing out in violence when there is no support system in place to help them cope. Additionally, this organization offers no help for the domestic batterer leading us to believe they are here to simply profit from violence instead of preventing it in the first place. Why is that? We think it has a lot to do with the $550,000 million dollars a year organizations like this receive from the government to end violence and professional lobbyist need their money!

Domestic Violence Worker Arrested For Domestic Violence

And, this article is not condemning feminism who advocate equality for everyone. This article is condemning radical feminism and their hatred of you, your sons, brothers, fathers, and husbands. Whenever we see the words “patriarchy”, which is a buzzword seen often in radical feminist circles, it is a clue that what will spill from their organization is that Men are guilty for everything wrong in the world.

Coalition at University Campus

To make our point obvious, why is Judy Chaet and their Board of Directors not joining other mainstream Domestic Violence organizations in calling for KFC to remove this video?

After gender neutral domestic violence groups petitioned KFC to remove the video clearly showing that we accept and capitalize on female on male violence, they pulled the video.

Why is Judy Chaet, others at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and their Board Of Directors not calling out the Salisbury Post for leaving this image up on the public Internet where four Women encourage and make light of female on male Domestic Violence? What would she tell Travis Alexander’s family in regards to female on male violence not being deadly?

Can you imagine what the response would be if a man posted this on Facebook? Yet, it’s OK that women can joke about domestic violence? Is this what NCCADV is advocating for here in the State? That violence and jokes about it is OK as long as it isn’t towards women only?



Judy Chaet condones violence in NC

Of course Judy will simply pull out her scripted radical feminist scripted statement outlining how Women are FAR more the victims of Domestic Violence than Men and that any acts of violence on Men is rare. We will address that below in the numerous amounts of data on the Internet showing female on male violence. But to address her statement, we don’t disagree, but that still does not mitigate that your organization is turning it’s back on Domestic Violence.

Here are our thoughts on Judy’s assumed logic, the latest statistics put out by the government shows that Women text and drive at far greater numbers than Male drivers. In this scenario, would Judy Chaet call for a media blitz on just female drivers or sponsor legislation that called for female drivers to go through counseling? Or, would she focus on texting and driving by everyone in hopes of ending this issue all together?

Domestic Violence experts warn that violence does not always come in the form of hitting, as it can also entail psychological and emotional power often characterized as things only Men can do. But with that said, how does the NCCADV explain these four Women?

How does Judy explain this Woman?

Or this Woman?

How does the NCCADV Operations Director explain this one?

Even the Huffington Post (shocking I know) is finding female abusers.

Posts related to Judy Chaet and the NC Coalition Of Domestic Violence showing real world examples of female on female/child violence that the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence hides on their website – Beth Froehling, Nancy Emslie, Gregory Currie.

At the end of the day, we suspect that Judy Chaet will sit in her glass house and stand by her feminist logic and will have nothing to do with female on male violence because it does not fit the narrative and mission of this organization which is fine. But this organization is going to continue to provide real world examples each day of data showing that Women are perpetrators of Domestic Violence on Men and their Children, as well as asking NC legislators to explain why the NCCADV continues to get Federal and State money to promote violence.

Another issue that continues to concern us and lead us to the conclusion that the NCCADV actually benefits from violence is that we see non programs that actually address ending violence except for victims. It seems to use Judy Chaet thinks that transferring assets from Men to Women, putting them in jail, stigmatizing them, and causing loss of employment somehow stops the cycle of violence. Is it possible that the reason this organization is not  providing or bringing to light problems that address this issue is because they don’t want it to stop so they can continue to get Congressional money to fund their political organizations by exploiting pictures of Women who have been beaten in the media?

Judy Chaet, NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Does This Look Like Violence To You?

We suspect Judy Chaet will be all too happy to put a video up of a Woman yelling “please stop, please stop, please stop” as a Man is beating her, but is mute on this?

Judy, the misconception that Women can’t do just as much damage to Men when acting violently still hold true?

Naturally protective Mother…

There is no mention or data on the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence website about female on female violence, leading the untrained reader to think only Men commit Violence. Is this by design Judy?

We wonder if Judy Chaet condones Women beating their husbands just hours after marriage?

Judy, even the national media is picking up on Female on Male Domestic Violence and Murder, why isn’t the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence? Because it isn’t newsworthy, because Men deserve it, because it does not drive funding?

Can Judy Chaet and the NC Coaltion Against Domestic Violence explain why ABC News is picking up on the disparity in Male on Female violence and Female on Male Violence, and did so many years ago?

Woman hits her child with a bat to prove to her husband she in untouchable. Which brings up a good point, has all the media attention Domestic Violence Women’s group flood the media and Internet with as it relates to just Male on Woman violence in an effort to control the narrative just let to Women feeling like they cannot be perpetrators of violence and that the Man will always be arrested?

Yes Judy Chaet, even Pia Zadora gets arrested for domestic battering on her Son.

Uh oh, the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence operations director has a problem, even the Mayo Clinic now has facts.

Quoting this pioneer: “Crick is internationally known for her innovative research on relational forms of aggression. Relational aggression, defined as behaviors that harm others via damage to relationships, includes acts such as using social exclusion or spreading malicious rumors. Evidence indicates that girls are more likely to engage in relational forms of aggression than the physical forms of aggression that have previously captured the majority of empirical attention.”

Judy Chaet, And More Female Perpetuated Domestic Violence Revealed. Where Is The Coalition On This?

Judge calls Woman a “manipulative narcissist who convinced her own father to murder her ex-husband.”

And it continues today, the NCCADV operations director needs to explain this to NC supporters. How easy is it to make an allegation resulting in a felony stop and have gun pointed to your head if you are a Man and the one making the allegation is a Woman? Well just ask this Eden, NC guy.

Judy, I thought Women didn’t put guns to the head of their children in North Carolina?

Another day of Women committing sexual abuse of underage boys in the classroom. Sex crimes, 5 boys, Woman teacher. Where is the gender oppression and patriarchy Judy?

If I could sit down with Judy Chaet and the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and tell them ONE thing, it would be that WOMEN in paternal families Are seeing Women (ex of their Sons) being violent and using false allegations of violence and they should be careful in making this all Men’s fault. Here is a perfect example, Mother of a male child has to call the police because a female teacher is having inappropriate sexual relations with her son. And this from one of the Internets most pro-Woman websites.

Surely Judy Chaet remembers Crystal Mangum?

Mets pitcher Kris Benson heard begging 911 operator for help after estranged wife breaks into his home dressed all in black, wearing a bulletproof vest and brandishing a gun. The Woman was booked into the county jail on assault charges. Judy, want to guess what the charge would be if Mrs. Benson was Mr. Benson?

An 80 year old Woman KILLS husband with a baseball bat in 2013. Judy, so I guess the fact that Men always do more damage when they commit violence is not true after all? You want to tell the WOMEN in Travis Alexander’s family that?

Murder for hire!

Again, the NCCADV has a problem parading JUST Women across the media with bruises telling legislators that only patriarchy and gender oppression is the cause of Domestic Violence. Shame on you Judy.

Woman attempts to kill her husband.

Will Judy Chaet and the NCCADV accept the fact that Women try to have their husbands killed for life insurance? Doubtful, because it does not fit in with the feminist narrative or help in their fundraising.

Visit Yes She Does to see female perpetrated domestic violence in all U.S. States.

How in the world this organization is getting Federal and State money to publicly disseminate misinformation aimed at stigmatizing Men and Young Boys is beyond me and we are encouraging readers to share this article with NC Legislators today and ask them why. Once you do, use the comment section below to let us know which legislator you contacted and if he / she contacted you back because we will be HAPPY to call them out on this as well.

And, we hope you will share this article on Judy Chaet with friends and family on Facebook, Google+, and Twitter who have an interest in ending ALL violence in North Carolina.


August 10, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Nancy Emslie – Director of Finance and Administration At NCCADV

Nancy Emslie at the NC Coalition Against Domestic ViolenceNancy Emslie is the Director of Finance and Administration at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCCADV), and the intention of this article is to ask her some questions hoping that she will be able to resolve some concerns that we have. Actually, you can read more about our concerns HERE, but this article will be a continuation of the topics in the other article to make a point. If you do not have time to read the other article, simply put, our concern is that Nancy Emslie and others at the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence are running a gender and sexual politics organization aimed at hurting young boys and Men rather than ending ALL Domestic Violence. And, we have some real concerns that this organization continues to get Federal and State dollars to do that. We make this claim on the grounds that the NCCADV blames patriarchy and gender oppression as the chief causes of Domestic Violence in NC, has tremendous amounts of data helping Women, Lesbians, and Women from other cultures, but very little data about Male on Male Domestic Violence and certainly none about Female on Female Domestic Violence even though national statistics show that Women commit Domestic Violence about 8 percentage points below Men. Now I know what the casual reader is going to say that we are way off base in writing a article to Nancy Emslie and the NCCADV because Women suffer more Domestic Violence, which is true. But is the answer to that simply to overlook all other forms of Domestic Violence and play gender politics and a blame game? Or, should we put gender and sexual politics aside and ALL work together to end all violence? But again, that point is made very clear along with many other concerns we have for the NC Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Nancy Emslie in our previously linked blog. Continue reading

August 8, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Judge William “Bill” Heafner – Randolph, Montgomery and Moore County Courts

Judge William “Bill” Heafner is a NC District Court Judge in Randolph, Montgomery, and Moore Counties of NC who routinely hears family law and child support enforcement cases. Prior to becoming a District Court Judge in the counties he serves in, Judge Heafner was a practicing family law attorney. In this article, we are going to ask the Judge some questions that we suspect he knows the answers to, but this article is mainly for Randolph, Montgomery, and Moore County non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other members of the family to educate themselves on and help us build a very large organization of non-custodial families across NC who have had enough of being marginalized to the role of visitor family four days a month and big government payment provider over being a empowered equal parent and family. Should Judge William “Bill” Heafner decide that he wants to answer the questions we pose in this article, he is welcome to do so using the comment section located at the end of this article or by contacting us on our FACEBOOK PAGE. Additionally, non-custodial families in Randolph, Montgomery, and Moore County NC non-custodial families and voters are encourage to make contact with us and give us their experiences of Judge Heafner, as well as joining our MAILING LIST to get updates about what our organization is doing in the legislature to end the extremely divisive and dangerous family courts in NC. Continue reading

August 3, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | 2 Comments

Assemblyman Michael Montesano Of The New York Assembly – Vote NO!

Assemblyman Michael MontesanoAssemblyman Michael Montesano of the New York Assembly represents the 15th district of which tens of thousands of non-custodial parents, grandparents, step-parents, and other family members live and vote from. Additionally, Assemblyman Montesano also supports the creation of a New York most wanted deadbeat parents list and website and in this article we are going to explain why this is a bad idea, and why tens of thousands of non-custodial FAMILIES in the Assemblyman’s district should turn their backs on him in future elections even if you are a member of his political party. At first thought, rounding up criminalizing parents may seem like a good idea to the New York Assembly, but we are about to show you why it actually does not work and actually creates far greater problems for voters in your community. If you are a New York non-custodial FAMILY member, it is important that you join and help support FaFNY which is an organization trying to bring comprehensive and common sense family law reform in your State.

Our organization wants to remind non-custodial families, even if you made the choice to be non-custodial, that this issue very much affects you it is further important to realize that non-custodial families make up an enormous amount of voters in New York and the courts are creating more and more of you daily. If you desire to be an equal parent, grandparent, step-parent, or other family member, what Assemblyman Michael Montesano is proposing will make it much more difficult for you to be active in your kid’s lives. By not supporting FaFNY, you have nobody to be blame for your situation.

Before we outline why Assemblyman Michael Montesano and other members of the New York Assembly are making a bad decision in advocating for a New York statewide deadbeat parent most wanted list, we want to educate you on one of the biggest reasons politicians in New York have developed an incredibly polar family courts and why they actually need you far removed from your kids lives in order to receive Federal dollars for State Welfare programs.

Pursuant to the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458, each dollar that the State of New York collects in child support, they get back an equal match of money from this federal legislation that they can use to replenish social services programs. This means that for the non-custodial parent who pays $500 a month in child support, the State of New York gets $500 in federal money to pay for food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, TANF, and other programs. Given that these use of these programs are growing at a blinding pace, State politicians are at a loss on how to pay for it all. This is where YOU as a non-custodial family comes in. The more child support you pay, and through your inability to be an equal parent, or to have regular visitation, you are making Assemblyman Michael Montesano’s job easier in finding money to pay for these resources.

And who is it that gets the majority of these programs? It’s the custodial parent of your minor child who is able to escape prison, being on a most wanted list, and losing her kids because the State of New York is all too willing to monetize her children through providing daycare assistance, food assistance, job assistance, housing assistance, educational assistance, medical and dental assistance, and tax incentives. But the State and this custodial parent are quick to have you, your husband, your brother, or your son in prison for economic hardships?

In short, the reason why millions of New York non-custodial families are not able to get equal parentage of their children, grandchildren, step-children, and nieces and nephews is because of politicians like Assemblyman Michael Montesano and other members of the New York Assembly who have found a way to keep state programs running off your marginalization.

Republican Assemblyman Michael Montesano And New York Voters

Assemblyman Michael Montesano And The New York Assembly Must Not Support A Deadbeat Most Wanted List

Here is the argument Assemblyman Montesano is going to give voters in New York regarding a State deadbeat most wanted list and website. He is going to argue that this is for the best interest of the children which is a common theme politicians use because it elicits emotional feelings for children and makes people support legislation based on that emotion even when they have no idea what the legislation is doing, even when it is doing dangerous things and lining the pockets of those that make incredible amounts of money from a polar family court system. The New York Assembly members are also going to argue that you are bad parents and families who have considerable amounts of money and who are out on their yachts drinking fine wine while your kids are at home eating ramen noodles daily because of your actions.

Our question to New York non-custodial family voters is, are you sure this is really what is going on and do you appreciate the Assemblyman making these wildly misinformed statements? Are you really out on your yachts, or are you part of the hundreds of millions of people unable to find employment, or who may have fallen ill, or perhaps you are taking care of a dying parent or ill spouse?

Assemblyman Montesano will argue that if you don’t have the ability to take care of a child, you shouldn’t have fathered a child. But the Assemblyman will never ask the custodial parent why she brought a child into the world when she is unable to care for the child even if that conception took place after a mutually consensual one night stand will he? To us it sounds like the New York Assembly is giving custodial parents a considerable amount of right with no responsibility, but non-custodial families few rights with a lot of responsibility.

This is especially important for politicians to get on-board with now that 40% of children born in New York coming into the world via unmarried Mothers who will use public assistance to make ends meet. Perhaps this is why the New York Assembly are so steadfast in making non-custodial families pay for it all.

Other issues Assemblyman Michael Montesano must face reality on:

  • Continuing to criminalize parents and forcing them into a federal enforcement system after the State of New York prevented them in supporting their kids directly as equal parents is a sure fire way to light the spark for domestic violence and murder/suicides. Under a fair and equal system where there is nothing to fight over, parents will lose the incentive to battle.
  • 40% of the parents the Assemblyman proposes to put on a most wanted deadbeat parent list are parents who were never told they had children by the mother and have warrants out for arrest for kids they never knew they had to support.
  • A large number of the parents that will end up on the Assemblyman’s most wanted list will be putative fathers who have zero rights to their children, but who the State expects them to pay for.
  • An overwhelming majority of the parents who end up on the Assemblyman’s most wanted list will be parents in extreme poverty and who have no money to get competent legal counsel, or to correct the problems in the legal system that led to their situation. Assemblyman Montesano should be ashamed that he is advocating for one parent being imprisoned for poverty and inability to get legal counsel while the custodial parent is handed 8 State programs to make ends meet.
  • Assemblyman Montesano should be ashamed to say that he supports a system by which parents are put into a federal enforcement agency because they simply lost a custody battle. And, the Assemblyman should be ashamed that he does not support the idea that kids need both parents, not one parent in prison while the other waves her public assistance card. Perhaps if the Assemblyman created a system where the non-custodial parents where empowered to be equal parents you would see more children being taken care of.

Assemblyman Michael Montesano Must Not Win Re-Election

Really Assemblyman? Do you have ANY idea how the New York Family Courts handle active duty Fathers in court? This is a disgusting level of pandering and if you are a service member who got their butts handed to them in the family courts then this politician needs to hear from you.

New York Non-Custodial Families MUST Vote NO In Any Future Elections Assemblyman Michael Montesano Runs In, And Unite Around FaFNY As An Advocate For You In The New York Assembly.

Here is why we think non-custodial families are where they are as it relates to equal parentage and having politicians criminalize them for poverty, we think that Assemblyman Montesano is looking out for the roughly $80,000 lawyers make off JUST ONE FAMILY over 18 years under the current system.

On this fact alone, the Assemblyman can stick “best interest of the child” where the sun does not shine because in NO way are these rich lawyers paying for New York’s kids educational expenses, ability to put a down payment on a home, to start a business, or pay for medical care that parents COULD pay for if their money weren’t in the pockets of the very powerful lawyers lobby groups.

It is imperative that non-custodial families realize their importance as a enormous group of voters in New York that come from every gender, educational background, economic status, and cultural and ethnic background. It is also important for Women in non-custodial families to realize you get equally hurt in stupid decisions politicians like Assemblyman Michael Montesano makes.

With this in mind, we ask that you extensively and routinely share this article on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and other social networks so that other non-custodial families in New York can rally behind FaFNY and hold Assemblyman Montesano’s feet to the fire in creating a equal and fair system that is most assuredly in the best interest of children.

If New York non-custodial parents do not form an equally powerful and united association as the ones that advocate for your demise in the New York Assembly daily, you have nobody to blame but yourselves.

July 29, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

NC Judges advise parents about child custody mediation on Youtube

NC Judges advise parents about custody mediation on YoutubeIt appears NC Judges have taken to social media (Youtube)  in an effort to advise parents on how the family courts operate and there is a strong emphasis on custody mediation. Having come across these videos, we obviously decided to watch them and do so with an open mind. In this article, we are going to provide our assessment of the message these Judges have for parents and their families, and we are going to ask one, just one very simple question of non-custodial families in particular. That question is, given your experiences in the NC family court, do you REALLY believe that these Judges have the best interest of children in mind, or is there a balance of best interest of children, and serving the many special interest groups who have formed around the family courts in order to monetize the process? The fact is custody mediation in NC does not work because Judges are unable to overcome the 80 yr systematic bias they have for one parent over the other, and have socialized parents and probably everyone in North Carolina to understand that the goal is to win custody and control of the kids at any cost.

there is no excuse for domestic violence

There are simply too many incentives to not be the parent with custody, and until Judges and Legislators deal with that, this entire system is going to be a joke. Everyone knows that if you have one parent adamant that she/he is going to win custody, then the entire system is pointless. And, these malicious parents know that their chances are very high given the history and statistics on the courts choosing one parent over the other. In short, why mediate when I know I’m going to win everything in court? Why mediate when I know I will have all the control? Why mediate when I know the other parent just wants to get into court where there is a system built around winning? Our belief is that the day the courts take away ANY chance of one parent winning, these parents will stop fighting and focus on working together because that is the path that has the best outcome for children winning.

After we break down these Youtube videos on custody mediation put out by NC Judges, we are going to explore the many special interest groups that have a stake in the NC family court industry. Under each video we will provide some commentary and thoughts on each one.

It is refreshing to hear Judge Enochs tell parents that they should not allow a Judge to hear their custody case, but unfortunately Judges fail to recognize that the malicious parent wants custody mediation to fail so that he/she can get into court and win at any cost. In listening to Judge Sue Burch talk about resolving custody cases, we had to laugh because the reality is these cases are never resolved. The courts are ridiculous, it is a never ending cattle call of the same parents filing motion after motion after motion in system that is setup for only one to win. When one parent wins custody, the other parent tries to unseat the other, then the other parent tries to prevent it and you end up having 18 years of fighting. This is good for lawyers, but very detrimental to children.

In viewing the video above, we simply have to ask non-custodial families, are you pleased with the disposition of your child custody case? How about you step-parents, grandparents? Do you like being only allowed to see your kids or grandchildren four days a month because someone HAD to lose a custody battle? Do you like being in a federal enforcement agency who takes your money instead of directly supporting your children as an equal parent?

Honest with each other? Are you kidding me? The goal of our current child custody system is to win, at any cost. This system NEEDS for each parent to be the most horrible person on the earth so that the parent wanting custody can win. The fact is most child custody matters are filled with extreme manipulation, lying, and false allegations aimed at forming a tactical advantage in the courts and NC Judges allow it.

We honestly do not know where to begin after viewing the video above and will just allow non-custodial families to sit back and pray or laugh.

NC Judges fail us using social media
So you thought that child support enforcement is simply a federal program aimed at supporting children who have an absent parent and who refuses to support his/her child huh? Most people do, but what they also fail to realize is that many times the parent ordered to pay support was PREVENTED in doing so directly as an equal parent and was forced into this federal agency. Why? Because the State of North Carolina gets upwards of 300 million dollars a year from the U.S. Federal Government in collection of child support and paternity establishment. Pursuant to the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458, for each dollar collected in child support, the government will send back an equal match of federal money they can use for social services programs. In short, the State of NC does not need equal parents directly supporting their children, they need one side of the family court ordered into marginalization four days a month and pushed into this federal agency that helps the State pay for the rising cost associated with social services programs. If NC parents were successfully doing mediation, they might actually learn to get along and share custody, which would mean no ability to enforce a parent. For those of you who have been in child support court, you will immediately recognize that the workers seemed more interested in how much money you had that day and payed no attention to whether you were an equal parent and even had access to your children as a parent, step-parent, grandparent, or aunt and  uncle. These child support enforcement workers are under federal mandate to get money, NC Judges know it, and Legislators need it to pay for Welfare.

Earlier we talked about incentives to not mediate by a malicious parent. Why mediate when that parent needs financial assistance, food stamps, housing assistance, educational assistance, daycare assistance, medical and dental assistance, job assistance, and tax incentives to live? Only custodial parents receive this, and if we had an equal system where both parents were empowered, it would likely mean less benefits and incentives for the one parent who wants to win.

NC Judges fail us on domestic violence as it relates to custody mediation.

Domestic Violence in North Carolina is an insidious problem that is going to require every man and woman on this planet to stop it’s existence, but the problem with the response to Domestic Violence is that it has become monetized and used for political purposes. And, the lobby groups that have their eye on this issue are one of the biggest advocates of the current court system where one family is pushed as far away as possible, while the custodial family enjoys power and control. Using the issue of Domestic Violence to gain political power and money is disgusting, and it is actually exacerbating violence, especially for those in the family courts. Each year, Congress hands out 550 million dollars a year to special interest groups who have formed to do Domestic Violence work. These include book writers, and professional lobbyist who want to make a living from this issue. If you look on the website of the NC Coalition Against Domestic violence you will only see data related to male on female violence, and zero information about female on female violence, male on male violence, and female on male violence. Additionally, the causes for domestic  violence, as explained by NCCADV, is patriarchy and gender oppression despite a wealth of data showing that substance abuse, mental illness, poverty, job loss, emotional disorders, and anger management problems being first and foremost as the causes for domestic violence. By this organization singling out only Men, it is clear this is an organization using gender and sexual politics as it’s lobbying efforts, and this spells disaster for women in paternal families, and even Mothers with male children who will get caught up in this web of deception when they are Fathers.

If you subscribe to the idea that domestic violence laws and lobbying should be centered on Men ONLY, while overlooking other gender types and sexual orientation, consider this example: If you have two children, a male and female, and both are throwing temper tantrums, you do not only correct that behavior in the child who may be doing it 10% more and let the other child throw them. This is exactly what the NCCADV is doing and NC legislators are listening to them. This organization is the single most influential organization preventing shared parenting in NC because they have legislators believing that all Men are natural abusers of Women and Children, including your sons, brothers, nephews, and fathers.

NC Judges and lawyers make money when custody mediation fails.

Family court battles in North Carolina are big business. The average cost of a custody battle is $20,000 per parent. The latest studies show that parents will fight two of these battles over an 18 year period along with minor battles over contempt violations, visitation modification, and child support. Parents in NC are spending roughly $90,000 with lawyers over 18 years and if there was nothing to fight over, or mediation worked, then parents would not be forking over potential down payments on homes, college educations, and medical coverage fighting. The NC Bar Association, along with the Domestic Violence lobby is adamantly opposed to a system where parents are not fighting and spending money with lawyers. Thankfully, in recent weeks we have met a few lawyers who have joined NC Fathers who are expressing outrage over this and we want to thank them.

NC Judges and social services

Since social services agencies in North Carolina are completely dependent on Title IV-D money from non-custodial families, and they need a lot of families not having regular access to their children so that they pay greater child support and trigger more federal money which keeps them employed and being service driven for custodial families. We believe that social services is very abusive with non-custodial families because of how the system is setup and opens the door for overly aggressive child protective services investigations. Without marginalized visitor and non-custodial families, there would be no money to maintain their employment.

NC Judges and lobby groups love when custody mediation fails.

As we have shown, the family court process is big business with many different groups having political and financial interest in and there are countless lobby organizations who fund their organizations by funneling members to their cause using gender and sexual politics and misinformation. A simple search of the Internet will reveal lobby groups who believe Fathers are natural sexual and physical abusers that should never have access to their children, and vice versa. The problem here is that when one of these groups get big enough, their membership and money yields significant power over politicians who need their votes. For going on 60 years now, lobby groups that represent custodial parents, child support enforcement, lawyers, and others have had a seat at the table when legislation is considered. The reason that non-custodial families keep getting the short end of the stick is because there is not one single lobby that is united and representing them and their children.

Until you as non-custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other families realize that you are a HUGE group of voters with considerable power, and who use that power through unification then the current joke of the family law process will always be like it is and no amount of right or wrong will ever change it. Politicians and Judges understand four things 1) Money 2) Power 3) Votes and 4) The lack thereof.

There are roughly 4.7 million people in NC who are either directly or indirectly related to a non-custodial family, and these numbers EASILY allow you to affect numbers 1-4 above.

July 22, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Democratic Women of North Carolina, Their Own War

Democratic Women of North CarolinaNC Fathers believes that the Democratic Women of North Carolina forgets that they are inadvertently creating their own war on women in the areas of family law and domestic violence. Since starting our organization, we are finding that women in paternal and non-custodial families have come out very strongly with their concerns regarding these two issues and we felt it was time to write a blog outlining their concerns. While primarily an organization of non-custodial parents in North Carolina who seeks family law reform for the presumption of non-discretionary equally shared parenting, we also advocate for all family members in the non-custodial family who are equally invested in their grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and step-children. The Democratic Women of North Carolina should recognize that in their efforts centered around Women’s Rights, specifically Mother’s Rights, which mandates that Fathers must either not gain custody of their children or have equal parentage and be pushed to the outer margins of their children’s lives as visitors and child support payers, they are actually hurting more Women that Fathers. The Women include paternal grandmothers, step-mothers, aunts, and daughters who love their Fathers. The Democratic Women of North Carolina should also remember that roughly half of NC Mothers have male children who will one day be marginalized in the NC Family Courts by Democratic policies that demand Mother centered family courts. Essentially, this organization’s efforts is helping to create great pain for the male children in the future if they experience divorce, and will likely be hurting many future non-custodial grandmothers.

Carteret County families

Continue reading

June 1, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | 31 Comments

Why Men Should Not Get Married or Have Children

Why Men Should Not Get Married or have childrenThere are very good reason why Men should not get married these days, and we think more and more Men are starting to realize this and deciding to stay single. In reading this article, we can understand where one may say our article is misogynist and we are just a bunch of irresponsible and selfish Men who refuse to evolve. Unfortunately for those that will take this stance, I am a paternal grandmother who is pointing out why Men should no longer get married and I am going to point out things that many Men will immediately identify with even if society and Women refuse to acknowledge it. Of course, I expect many Women who read this article will be repulsed by what they read and will exclaim “Not all Women are like that” as if this is a good reason to dismiss everything in this article. I also do not want to make the claim that Men are refusing to get married today because Women are bad because a large part of this has to do with laws and feminism that has taught Women to think and act differently and they may not be realizing it. I will take credit for saying that modern day feminism, not early feminist who fought for equality for everyone, but the ones that fight for Women at the demise of Men are very much at fault for teaching young Women that everything wrong with the world is because something a Man has done. Or, in many cases because Men exists at all. Continue reading

May 28, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | 38 Comments

WFMY News 2 (Greensboro) Reporter Morgan Hightower, You Listening?

Morgan Hightower at WFMY News 2 in Greensboro NCMorgan Hightower is a News Reporter with WFMY News 2 based out of Greensboro NC who recently solicited Facebook comments from the public regarding questions they would like to see her ask sitting Governor Pat McCrory during an interview he agreed to with her. In looking at the comments, I saw no less than 15 questions from supporters of NC Fathers asking about family law reform and equally shared parenting. In viewing the interview with the Governor, Morgan Hightower decided that none of the questions you posted on the WFMY News 2 Facebook site would be asked of the Governor. Fair enough, I don’t think anyone expected that all comments submitted would get answered and there were probably other comments that Mrs. Hightower and WFMY News 2 didn’t get to ask. Nonetheless, we feel that it is time that the mainstream media starts to hear from NC Non-Custodial parents, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members that make up an overwhelming numbers of voters and media consumers in the State of North Carolina because the issues are very important and hurting upwards of 5.5 million families and children. With this in mind, we wanted to create this blog and ask NC Fathers supporters to pose comments to WFMY News 2 and Reporter Morgan Hightower regarding what you have experienced in the family courts and then we will share this blog with her on Twitter and others sites and perhaps she will keep an open mind and do some research on them and get in contact with us about a story. If any reporter at WFMY News 2 wants to contact us, they can do so on our FACEBOOK PAGE or via this CONTACT FORM. If you are a consumer of media in Greensboro NC and a non-custodial parent or extended family member then we strongly encourage you to submit comments.

Reporter Morgan Hightower

In the section below, we are going to post our own comments to Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 regarding issues we think are at the top tier of issues that are extremely dangerous and leading to serious conflict, domestic violence, and murder/suicides since they that are related to the NC Family Courts. We also want to caution Mrs. Hightower that our organization is not a Father’s Rights group or Men’s Rights advocacy group. We advocate for any parents (Mothers, Fathers, and extended families) and their extended family who have been marginalized as a 4 day a month visitor to their children, and who pays money to a federal enforcement agency to support their kids instead of being allowed to directly support their kids as an equal parent with equal access.

In August of 2013, NC Fathers asked Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 to investigate this. Anyone want to bet that this data does not fit in with the politics of this News organization, but all too well fits in when it’s a Man committing Domestic Violence?


Issues Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 in Greensboro NC Should Consider When Thinking About Family Court Reform

  • Morgan Hightower should know that per NC law, when two parents separate from a marriage or relationship, the law is very clear that unless there is a custody order, one parent can keep the children away from the other parent completely and even move across the country (sometimes Internationally) to start a new life. It is then up to the alienated parent to secure a lawyer that usually starts at roughly $20,000+ to initiate a court action. For many North Carolina parents, finding that money is impossible due to poverty and they (and the entire extended family) are forced into the position of never seeing their children again. For those that are able to obtain this money, by the time the alienated parents finds the other parent, hires an attorney in that jurisdiction, and gets a court hearing, it can take up to a year to do all this. By this time, Judges decide that since a year has elapsed, the alienating parent has established consistency and allows things to stay put. In short, whichever parent can get their hands on a child(ren) just before separation can alienate a child from another parent LEGALLY and force the other parent into a pay wall if they ever hope to see the children again. We believe the anxiety, fear, anger, depression, and turmoil of this common event hurts many kids and leads to domestic violence and/or murder/suicides. On just this issue ALONE, we believe WFMY News 2 has ample information to consider running a story on this.
  • If WFMY News 2 reporter Morgan Hightower decides to do a news story on this issue, it is likely she will talk with several family law attorneys in Greensboro NC to get their side of the story and we already know what she will be told. She will be told that equally shared parenting puts two parents (who are likely in conflict) together more often and this will lead to increased domestic violence and murder/suicides. Our take on this has two parts: 1) What if the parent who has custody is creating conflict and the non-custodial parent is not? Hasn’t the custodial parent just created something that is keeping the non-custodial parent from equal parentage and access to his/her kids? 2) If anyone at WFMY News 2 thinks that after a divorce and spending $20,000 in a custody battle to only lose and either see their children four days a month or summers when a Judge allowed the custodial parent to move 6 days away is somehow going to lessen conflict, then we have a problem. This combined with bullet number one above explodes the potential for domestic violence and murder/suicides.
  • There is no doubt that Morgan Hightower or another reporter at WFMY News 2 has done a story on deadbeat dads, but we suspect that ALL of these reporters didn’t have the whole story on WHY Fathers get into a position to not pay child support. Here is more information to consider. The entire family court process is built around one parent winning custody and control of a child(ren), while the other parent loses and becomes non-custodial. This setup starts a massive war between parents for 18 years who do and say the most insane things about the other parent in hopes of discrediting him/her so that one can win custody. On just this alone, we suspect domestic violence is very much a reality. But you also have to remember that the custodial parent also get housing assistance, educational assistance, job assistance, daycare assistance, medical assistance, financial assistance, and tax incentives to make ends meet while non-custodial parents who have financial problems go to jail. We think it makes more sense to empower both parents, but apparently legislators and Judges disagree.
  • Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 reporters needs to learn about the Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458 which is basically federal legislation that defines child support enforcement. According to this act, for every one dollar collected in child support by the State, the federal government will give back between 66 cents to one dollar that can then be used to replenish Welfare money at social services in North Carolina. Therefore, the State of North Carolina has an incentive for one parent paying larger and larger sums of child support as a marginalized parent which triggers greater federal money for needed State programs. Of course, with equally shared parenting, there would be less child support payed which would trigger less federal money and put the State of NC in a position to not be able to keep up with growing Welfare expenditures. Therefore, we believe that or family law system has been setup to make sure the State of NC has Welfare money on hand and is done on the back of the non-custodial family/child relationship.
  • Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 reporters needs to know that the average custody battle in NC starts out at roughly $20,000 PER PARENT and the national average is that parents will fight two of these battles in 18 years for a total of $80,000. When you add in minor skirmishes over contempt violations, child support, and other matters, this figures jumps to well over $100,000. This is a tremendous amount of money in lawyers pocket from just one family. So our question to Morgan Hightower is, would she rather see this money in lawyers pockets or in parents pockets who can help their children go to college, buy a home, start a business, or get needed medical care?
  • NC Fathers has NO doubt that WFMY News 2 reporters have done considerable stories on Domestic Violence which is a very serious problem in North Carolina. However, there are things happening in the family courts that are beginning to cast a shadow of doubt on ALL domestic violence matters which is beyond dangerous. As stated earlier, parents who want to win custody have an incentive to make a false allegation of domestic violence because it is the perfect tactical weapon to put the other parent in a real tough situation to either win custody or any visitation with his children assuming he can even pay for a custody lawyer after spending all his money on a criminal lawyer on the violence charge. Many people are under the misunderstanding that this cannot happen, because without evidence of domestic violence or witness to alleged violence, a matter can never come to fruition. This is most certainly wrong and we point that out quite clearly in how it happens. As this happens more and more, this shadow of doubt is going to hurt many Men and Women who are actual victims of Domestic Violence. And, The Jodi Arias case just underscores how easy it is to do. It should also be noted that this video is Father centric, but in reality any gender is capable of doing this and it happens in 90% of child custody matters.

Another video to underscore this problem of weaponizing false allegations.

So with just the information above, there is clearly enough conflict and dangerous issues that currently exists in the NC Family Courts to dispel lawyers, Judges, and the NC Bar Association assertion that we have a good system.

Our belief is that when the courts are equalized and there IS NOTHING TO FIGHT OVER, and when Judges tell parents the future with their children is dependent on both parents working hard to put differences aside and work with (as opposed to against) the other parent then everything above will be minimized and this is the message we want Morgan Hightower and WFMY News 2 to understand.

Now it’s your turn to post comments to Morgan Hightower using the comment system below. Simply put your name or initials in the field below, a email address (not shown once you post), and write out a RESPECTFUL comment about some issues with the NC Family Courts that you have experienced as non-custodial families. If you are open to WFMY News 2 contacting you about the information in your comment in case they do a story on this, please indicate it in your comment and we will send your name and email address to Mrs. Hightower. However, please do not put your email directly in your comments. Lastly, we strongly encourage you to share this article on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Linkedin to bring about greater knowledge to the issues we just discussed.

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May 24, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | 26 Comments

NC Democratic Party and Equality

NC Democratic PartyWhen you hear the NC Democratic Party talk about equality, one usually thinks along the lines of equality for Women, African-Americans, Hispanics, the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered (LGBT) community and others. But, you do not usually hear anything from NC Democrats in regards to equality in the NC Family Courts which have been extremely unbalanced for going on a century now. And, every time we attempt to talk with a Senator or Representative who has established themselves as a Democratic, we typically get the silent treatment. We suspect this happens because the narrative in regards to family law has always been defined as a male vs. female issue (or mother vs. father) for which we believe Democrats want to advocate for Women’s Rights to their children. In fact, just about every Women’s Rights or Feminist group operational today identifies with Democrats to maintain a system by which Mothers get custody of their children and Fathers suffer the usual fate of non-custodial parent who gets visitation periodically. This disturbs us and in this article we are clearly going to show where the NC Democratic Party is making a huge mistake because in the defense of a divisive family court system, they are actually hurting many more women than men, and they are hurting a lot of African-Americans and Hispanic Fathers and Women in their families. If you are affiliated with the Democratic Party in NC and are a Mother or Father who was marginalized in the family courts, or a woman in the paternal/maternal family who identifies with the information contained in this article, then we encourage you to join our MAILING LIST and FACEBOOK PAGE to help us encourage Democrats to work with Republicans to bring about comprehensive equality in family court reform. Continue reading

May 19, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | 23 Comments