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Why are there so many absent Fathers in NC?

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72 Comments »

  1. My fiance has children he isn’t allowed to see although he pays child support, he has 2 more we have living with us and there mom after 3 months is trying to say we took them after she gave them to us before the state took them. She kept trying to kill herself and they where home and aware, her boyfriend abused them and yet they want us to give them back. This program was God sent and We Thank you for your support and knowledge.

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    Comment by Tiffany Kearse | December 29, 2011 | Reply

  2. I would like to take a minute to say that I really like this site…I would also like to know if the owners of this website have had or have thought about having an online petition started for the entire state of North Carolina. Instead of each county, there has to be a way that we can get enough signatures from fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles ect so that something can be done to change the laws in this state so that they are equal for fathers and mothers. I am the mother and my son has been fighting since the day his beautiful daughter was born to have equal time with her. If someone can give me some information on how to get it started I will start it, but I am really not sure how to go about getting it started or if it is even possible. The truth of the matter is something has to be done.

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    Comment by Mrs.A | September 10, 2012 | Reply

    • Thanks You Mrs.A,
      We have thought about having a online petition, but last I checked there was one already up. I don’t know if the petitioners did much in the way of marketing the petition though. Honestly, I think even if we got 500 K petition signatures, much of the issues we deal with here in NC is federal law and State legislators can’t do much about it. About the only thing that could get changed at the State level is presumption for equally shared parenting and there are to many people (Lawyers, Mediators, Therapists) making money from the system, and too many jobs (enforcement workers, govt contractors, etc..) tied to the industry that a petition won’t fix.

      The fix is about 100 K angry non-custodial fathers/mothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles united around a central lobby affecting elections.

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      Comment by ncfathers | September 10, 2012 | Reply

      • I have a wonderful 9 year old son we formed a Group for, and we are looking for parents of similarly aged children to help them share continuity between homes. He is here every other weekend. We are in the Creedmoor, Raleigh, Durham area and go to Wheels FunPark, Adventure Landing, parks, movies, camping, bike rides, basketball and baseball games (have done ‘Kids vs Dads’ games:) and are looking for more families to play with. Don’t let distance and TV separate you from having fun and creating the family you wished you had. Keep playing and being the parent your kids want! http://www.meetup.com/Familes-that-dont-watch-TV/ The Courts for us have been very hard to manage, and abuse of their well intentioned laws and proceedures rife. So I figure one way to get light into kids lives is to provide more quality times for them. Youth is the time to plant healthy seeds so they can learn to fly as adults, so to become well balanced, caring and loving parents, as we all pray they become. My son and I look forward to meeting you all!

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        Comment by Bob Forkish | November 9, 2012

    • I think a good way to get somewhere is to write up a Bill and find a State Representative to introduce it. I’ve wrote many Bills though I have had only one introduced. The Bill however passed the 2010 NC House with over one hundred votes. This is the only way I know how. It takes time and money to talk to these politicians and most of them have their ears open on both sides. I on the other hand have decided if we can’t beat them , join them. I will be running for NC House again in District 84, Iredell County. And I can tell you one thing, I’m bringing my broom and lie detector test with me to Raleigh!

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      Comment by Kirk Sherrill | January 1, 2014 | Reply

    • Feel free to message me anytime so that I may learn about some of these Draconian asinine laws.

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      Comment by Kirk Sherrill | January 1, 2014 | Reply

      • Kirk have you joined us on Facebook?

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        Comment by stompkinsnc | January 1, 2014

  3. Hey I believe you helped my ex wife give one of her children away for adoption when it was born early 2012 maybe 2011 I’m not sure but if you are the ones I didn’t know if you could send me the documents y’all sent me about having to sign my rights away cause we were still married the time of adoption and said I had to sign my rights to it away even knowing that’s it wasn’t my child.

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    Comment by Peter verthein | February 1, 2013 | Reply

    • Peter we aren’t an agency who can help anyone with adoption. We don’t even know what your talking about.

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      Comment by ncfathers | February 1, 2013 | Reply

  4. My husband truly needs some help with his ex wife. She has now stopped bringing the kids to us for our weekends and only offers them to us when she knows we have to work (We haven’t seen them in a month). Not only that but she just recently got her phone number changed now we cant even contact her to speak with them. We have taken out contempt papers but she always seems to get everything she wants. He already pays her 516 a month and she cuts him down and tells him and the kids he is a dead beat. We are at a total loss 😦 He loves his little girls! Why can’t fathers get help!?!

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    Comment by Jessica | February 2, 2013 | Reply

  5. Hello,
    My name is Stephen Dawson. I am a father in need of help in mainting the relationship necessary for my daughter to have the best chance at a normal life. In August of 2012 we had a fire that resulted in my family becoming homeless for three months. Because we lived ln a motel for there months I was unable to keep my daughter as I did before the fire obiviously because it was not an environment stable enough for her so I just seen her from time to time during that time while we rebuilt. The delima is now that we have returned home my ex-wife refuses to revert back to the ordered visitation, claiming my child doesnt want to see me anymore, and I have spoke to her and its not true. Help

    en to her and its simply not true… I am financially unable to seek counsel due to the strain the fire put on our family. I receive very little money from social security disability and am desperate to see my child again, its

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    Comment by steve dawson | February 9, 2013 | Reply

  6. I’m Sheila Peltzer of KN2P (KidsNeed2Parents), a statewide volunteer group working for over 4 years to modernize NC custody law to “presumed shared parenting.” Please contact me so we can work together to get this done for the sake of our children & future children. I’m a retired teacher & grandmother of 4 (2 of whom have a fatal genetic disease) which is why I hesitate going on Facebook. You can Google me to hear my Jan. 22 talk to a group in West Charlotte. We are a member of the Children’s Alliance in Mecklenburg County but have not yet gotten their support. New Republican Rep. Jacqueline Schaffer is working on this issue for us with promised support from Dem. Carla Cunningham & Dem. Sen. Earline Parmon if she succeeds. 704-350-1343 or sheila@KN2P.org.

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    Comment by Sheila Peltzer | March 29, 2013 | Reply

  7. NC house members have been called, their names are David Lewis and Gary House of Harnett County NC. Social services treats non custodial parents like we are in another Country. Currently feel like me and my three kids are suffering at the hands of a government agency who can treat you anyway if u don’t have funds…Does legislature know how these agency’s operate???? 1-hour can see my kids, if out of town 15 minutes on speaker phone, even if you have done no crime you have no rights to my kids…

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    Comment by jay sills | April 1, 2013 | Reply

  8. My wife and I separated a year or so ago,. and we agreed instead of child support I pay the bills until she’s able to get out and get back to work, as she’s sick and unable to work.

    I pay everything for them and all the bills are still in my name. I stay at my sisters house, sleeping on the couch so my kids don’t do without.

    I got a summons to court from the Bladen county child protective services suing me for support even tho my wife has written them repeated letters and told them face to face we didn’t want child support and she agreed that I pay the bills like I HAVE been doing since we split.
    In the summons they claim my wife, the plaintiff complained I refused to support my kids and refused to make sure they had what they needed. that is a bold faced lie. Can’t I counter sue them for slander and falsifying documents in order to obtain money from my paycheck, which I already give them nearly 100 % of it?

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    Comment by ben | May 17, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Ben,
      Many times when a custodial parent is receiving social services programs the State wants to recoup that money. Few non-custodial parents realize that for every dollar collected in child support via ENFORCEMENT (not direct payments), they get back a dollar in federal money to replenish social services money. So if you pay $800/month in support via enforcement, your county gets $800 in federal money that goes to Welfare. If your wife is receiving social services, gthen it is likely someone talked her into going the enforcement route. If not, then it’s possible she isn’t being straight with you because they can’t come after you unless she applies.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 17, 2013 | Reply

  9. It is a Broken system and the Children Suffer in the situation. It’s bad on the kid’s & the system is usually in a about 80%of all case’s for the Women/ Mother & there not concerned what is best for the children at all. They should: if a couple split and either or be ordered to pay child support there should be a system put place by a judge and or state/ county so that a percentage of the child support goes into a account for the children’s college and a percentage goes to the mother/ father to cover clothing,food,housing,etc. and every so many days weather it be 60or90days whoever is getting and receiving the child support should have to show proof that they are using the money to support the children and well being.& if there not follow guidelines they should change things. I could go on and on but I would wasting air, Bottom line kids suffer and get taught to hate the other parent and to think a good person is bad and grow up jarring and missing out on so much. I hate to say it but they just need to burn it all down because Dss and the courts suck and there the biggest waste and rip off scam I have ever seen I have been in the situation and I have sat in different courts in seen so much corrupt it’s not even funny. I have watched, so called fathers with saggy pants selling drugs walk into court and owe $25k worth of child support and pay $25.00 a month never go to jail and walk out side and get into a Bently and drive away laughing oh I got over again !And I have watch grown men busting there tail 7-days a week working 13-14hrs a day struggling to pay child support and get behind once and throw him jail until he can pay it all or hey sit in jail for years. So someone tell me there going to fix the system??? I want to see and hear it?? Because that’s a Damn JOKE!!!

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    Comment by Randall Sessoms | May 17, 2013 | Reply

  10. Judge Hill signed my custody making me, the mother, the primary custodial parent. The father visits with our daughter every other weekend, holidays, summers, and we even compromise for extra for extra time so he may have with her. As of three weeks ago this past Sunday he has refused to bring her back even though the custody order says he has to. He has already hired an attorney. I on the other hand do not have the funds to to fight him in court. He was the one who hired an attorney and granted me joint custody allowing me to be the primary. He claims he has accusations against me. Although he will not reveal his resources. And he has also threatened me to charge me with witness tampering if I were to find out what is going. I do not understand why I have to get a show cause to get my daughter back. If I were to arrive at one of his addresses assuming Sarah was there I do not want to torment my two year old daughter. She loves both her mommy and daddy. I also I have this motherly instinct if I were to show up to take her he would turn right around and get an emergency ex-parte. I have consulted an attorney and he says this doesn’t matter. Because the judge is going to look at the “status quo” the father has formed with Sarah.

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    Comment by Katherine Strickland | August 9, 2013 | Reply

    • Katherine, yep sounds like the good ole family courts. Whoever has the most money, connections, or can get their hands on the child for any length of time wins. This is why we are pushing for politicians to provide ZERO incentives in the family courts so that there is nothing to fight over, or more specifically to use the kids in fighting over. This two parent system is actually creating all the conflict and it’s built around making lawyers rich, politics, and creating a non-custodial parent so he/she triggers federal money that keeps Welfare running.

      It really gets bothersome to us when one parent does not have the money to hire an attorney and the other does because it literally can mean a parent and extended family never seeing their young loved ones again.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | August 9, 2013 | Reply

  11. Im Looking for A fathers rights group For my son Her as a young father And the mother is trying to blackmail him Before he can see his child And I feel he needs a support group

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    Comment by kamala hosey | August 19, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Kamala, have him join us on Facebook and it’s good to see Women in paternal families standing up to address this very biased system. You have a very large stake in this as a paternal grandmother.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | August 19, 2013 | Reply

  12. I have a question….is there anything a father can do when his children’s mother is refusing to let him see the children except when she deems fit BEFORE they have gone to court. They have shared joint custody for over a year and just recently she decided to take him to court for full custody. They have not went to court and nothing is written on paper. She is insisting he can only have the kids every other weekend. He is devastated. He went to get an injunction this morning, however the only woman who could help him is on vacation. He has placed a call to his lawyer. Any advice?

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    Comment by Tina Brown | August 23, 2013 | Reply

    • Hi Tina,
      Please keep in mind that we are not lawyers, and nor should this reply be taken as legal advise. Everything we say should be followed up with your lawyer. Until there is a court order, both legal parents can refuse to give the child to either parent. It is very typical for one parent to keep a child from the other parent hoping the other never gets money together to hire an attorney, effectively shutting that parent out forever. Also typical, for her to justify her decision in the courts, she will likely make an allegation of sexual abuse or domestic violence so now is NOT the time to be alone with her and to document and video/tape EVERYTHING.

      Some Judges will hold her accountable for allowing frequent contact then abruptly pulling it away, most will overlook it. But when I say the position he is in right now will most likely be followed up with some allegation of misconduct or violence I mean what I say. It is the silver bullet in family court.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | August 23, 2013 | Reply

  13. Help, getting railroaded. Took mom n baby but left other 2 boys. No proof of anything, a phone call. Please help.

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    Comment by troy brown | September 14, 2013 | Reply

    • Troy, not much we can do. Everything has to be handled via your attorney. We are an organization trying to change laws and have no ability to help with people having cases in the family courts.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | September 15, 2013 | Reply

  14. My son recently was killed and shortly after had a baby and the babys mother is preventing me from seeing my grandchild. What can I do about that?

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    Comment by r pittman | September 28, 2013 | Reply

    • Was your son married to the mother of the child or dating her? If he was married to her and is the legal father, then you can under NC law file for visitation. However, you are going to have to hire an attorney.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | September 28, 2013 | Reply

  15. I need help, my daughters mother has taking her to Virginia for a month, and I have no idea where they will be staying at! This will be the second time this has happen@ I am afraid for my daughter and I am going to miss her! what can I do , or who can I call to help me stop her or at least tell me what my rights.

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    Comment by larry burley | October 12, 2013 | Reply

  16. I am willing to help,I would love to meet up and tell my story

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    Comment by Greg Brummitt | October 19, 2013 | Reply

  17. I have not been allowed to see my children since Jan. 6th 2006. i pay my support on time every two weeks out of my check. CSE is telling me that they are taking out the maximum amount allowed by law from my income and that it still is not enough to cover my payment, that I need to send in an additional amount or i will continue to be brought to court for failure to comply. I am sorry but this sounds a lot like extortion to me. I cannot afford to hire an attorney because of all this and am in constant fear of going to jail and losing my job and home because of this. this just doesn’t sound legal to me and now I am being asked to sign over my parental rights because i am told my kids don’t remember me and have no idea who i am because of how long their mother and her family have kept us estranged. They also are constantly sending me and my fiance harassing messages and when we block them they make fake Facebook accounts and send messages through them. what can I do and is any of this sound like the norm here in NC?

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    Comment by Bill Mattox | December 7, 2013 | Reply

    • All you can do is hire a lawyer who will likely tell you everything will be ok, take your money, when you are out of money, suddenly you will lose like millions of Fathers before you. And yes, it sounds like the norm here in NC.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | December 10, 2013 | Reply

  18. I am a mother of 3. Their father took them from me 2 years ago. Before that neither one of us had custody. I left him in March if 2010. I took the kids with me. I allowed him visitation every other weekend and told him if wanted to see any other time that was fine with me. I never wanted my kids to b alienated from their dad. Their dad was also allowed to stop by my home at anytime to visit with the kids. I always kept him informed of any health issues and kept him aware of any school events issues. Their father and I had a good relationship and communicated very well for our kids. Well June of 2011 their father starts dating someone. She was 23 and had a daughter of her own. At the time James was 34. In October of 2011 they got married. In Nov. 2011 I was served papers. James wanted full custody. I was devastated. I had no job and no money for an attorney. I went to court with no attorney. I had no choice. James won custody with a promise to give me joint custody in 6 months. That gave me enough time to try and find a job in January of 2012 DSS took me to court for Child support. In March of 2012 James and his new wife have a baby. Ever since his wife came in the pic James has totally alienated me from my kids. I get them every other weekend and that is IT!! I don’t have a phone number where I can call my kids. I have been told to never call their house. James wife told my kids their not allowed to speak to me at sport events if she is along with them. His wife told me I was not allowed in my children’s classroom at school. That only she and James were allowed to know how my kids were doing in school. This is only half of it. My kids are miserable. She treats my daughter very unfairly compared to how she treats her two bio-kids. James and his wife put me down all the time to my kids. I want my kids back. There is domestic violence going on between their dad and step mom. Everyone is telling me that once their dad got custody that it will b hard to get them. I want my kids out of the violence and the negativity that goes on in their home. Someone please give me some advice. My kids want to come back to me so bad. Also their dad works two jobs and is never home. Which means step mom is raising my kids. Please help!!!!

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    Comment by Kimberly Nance | January 28, 2014 | Reply

    • Hi Kimberly,
      The situation you just told us about is very common, although usually reversed. There really isn’t anything we can do except change the laws so that this does not happen in the first place. We advocate for all non-custodial parents and it is a shame that a party without money has to lose their kids because iof poverty and that custodial parents get away with parental alienation. But where we sit today, legislators are fine with it.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | January 28, 2014 | Reply

    • My situation is very similar however I had an Attorney representing me and he was disbarred. As a result of his faulty work I lost my only son. I have been fighting to regain custody of my only son since Dec 9, 2011. I completely understand your frustration however the things that James and his Wife are doing to do is in my opinion great reasons for you to seek an Attorney (in addition to teaming up with NC Fathers) for a substantial change of circumstances and a modification of custody. I wish you the best!

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      Comment by Monika R. Woodson | April 16, 2015 | Reply

      • Who was the attorney and why was he disbarred

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        Comment by Karen | June 3, 2016

  19. I have sent you a msg about the fact that my son never gets to see his children because the mother moved them from Greensboro to Wilmington, NC. Today he went before Judge Angela Foster for past child support. He has to spend the nexr 6 weekends in jail, pay the mothers atty fees, pay a rather large sum of child support, and she increased his child support payment. Now it will be over $1000 per month. My son has 2 sons. The mother has told the boys terrible lies about their father, so bad that they will not speak to him, and tell their father that they hate him. I am disgusted and totally fed up!!!!

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    Comment by Cheryl Cote | April 1, 2014 | Reply

  20. My son has tried to do the right thing he was there when the boy was born 3/27/ 2004 and after my son signed the birth certificate the mother tells my son he has to leave they can’t see each other any more at that time I was carrying for my mother and was not able to be there. About a year later the mother calls me informs me she is getting married again and moving to Welcome NC she was not married to my son. Then in 2006 or 2007 she has court ask him for child support and he informed court that he wanted DNA the child doesn’t look like him but she didn’t show up and was thrown out. Then in 2009 or 2010 they send him papers claiming abuse which was a lie he spoke to caseworker and requested DNA went to court and case worker didn’t like male judge told us they he was mean and he wouldn’t want to go before him and besides that she had wrong papers and would reschedule next month the judge was a woman and she really had ISSUES wouldn’t let anyone tell the real issues and denied a DNA said should have ask Years ago which he had but was left out of report also was not employed THIS is just the tip of a DISGRACEFUL and INJUSTICE system in davidson county and like I told the mother if that is my grandchild and his son you would demand a DNA TEST

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    Comment by mary | August 28, 2014 | Reply

  21. Join the Family Court Reform @divorceCorp Dr. Drew and Joe Sorge
    November 15 & 16, 2014
    Alexandria, VA

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    Comment by Amy | September 6, 2014 | Reply

  22. Regarding the comments about the military and not letting the service member have custody etc., you should talk to some of the recruiters around town; they are telling new recruits that they have to terminate their parental rights or the military won’t accept them. In particular, I believe it was the Navy recruiter who was telling this to an 18 year old boy. The military dictates a lot of custody and visitation provisions that are solely service mandated and have nothing to do with Judges or the laws of NC.

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    Comment by Laura | October 7, 2014 | Reply

  23. I found judges McGee and Clonginger from Cabarrus County Court on your site the first time I saw the site and now I cant find them. Are they still a topic of judges that are unfair? I need to know cause I am getting help here in CA to get these guys off the bench. I’ve seen McGee in action in family court and I was totally dumbfounded. People need to start recording on film their courtroom experience and let the modern states see what’s going on in NC. Send their recordings to the media (20/20, etc.) Enough is enough! time for big time change!

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    Comment by Rebecca Macias | December 13, 2014 | Reply

  24. Dealing with child custody in catawba county and wanted to see if anyone has info on judge Elliot.

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    Comment by Carlos arias | February 20, 2015 | Reply

  25. Judge Scott set a court order for me a few yes back. Up until 5 months ago it been smooth. But 5 months ago the mother ran with our kids. I don’t have thousands of dollars to spend and have tried every way possible to get help and they just give me the run around. I’m begin desperately for someone to help me see my kids again. She left without notifying me or the court and moved half way across the country . there has to be someone who can help. He set the order and its clearly contemps. Please help in force it

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    Comment by josh conner | March 13, 2015 | Reply

  26. All parties involved in my story were living in Maryland when my ex-husband took our children without my knowledge to North Carolina. He filed for emergency temporary custody. He made false accusations that I abused my children. He was granted his request with absolutely no evidence or without me being there to defend myself against these allegations. The judge involved spoke with both of my children and both children told the judge that I never abused them. I was not allowed visitation with my kids for over a month. When I was finally granted visitation it was only allowed in the state of North Carolina. The judge would set a court date which I would take off work to be there and he would postpone it. He postponed our court dates for six months which made my children NC residents. I was never allowed to stand up against these allegations. I finally had to end up going to mediation due to lack of funds. I only get to see my children half of every holiday that they are out of school and two weeks in the summer. My ex husband is a business owner and I barely make minimum wage but yet I have to pay him $360/month. He gets thousands back in taxes every year and he will not let me claim any of the children. How this was allowed to happen is beyond me and no one can explain it to me.

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    Comment by Sandra | March 25, 2015 | Reply

  27. I filed for equal time with my twins that I had taken care of for the last three years when my wife and I were together working at night wile she worked in the day after 7 years of verbal and mental abuse by a narcissistic drinker nothing I did was ever good enough the night that ended our marriage I came home from collage she had been drinking and started a fight in front of the twins attacking me hoping I would hit her I did not she left about two weeks later cleaned out the house left me with rent and bills i could not pay. 4 months later she started dating a man with money and status i did not know till after she filed a restraint order against me accusing me of threatening her with a text I had told her I was going to fight for equal time he came to curt with her the case was dismissed the judge could tell she was just trying to gain custody. I filed for equal time things got worse I would ask her for more time he and her boyfriend insulted me in text I was not able to pay her child support that year only making 12,000 that year and she left me on the edge of being homeless. Two weeks before court her attorney filed a counter suit accusing me of verbal and physical abuse in front of the twins during court her and her attorney slung mud showing me a card I had wrote in pencil that had been altered when she testified she told the court we had a peaceful marriage when my attorney called her on it she stated that her attorney just wrote the abuse down. her and her boyfriend lied over and over I told the truth I thought after all the lies I would get equal time about three weeks went buy I get a call from my wife telling me she had the order and she got the kids called my attorney to find out what was going on I had not got the order come to find out he did not turn his proposal in or had not gone over hers he went out of town the judge just signed her attorneys by mistake. From December till February she made me follow a court order I had never seen and my attorneys office told me was no good if I was 5 min late getting the kids home she cried contempt they would call me loser and stupid her boyfriend would state he would be a better choice as the kids father. after getting the so called amended custody order it was what my wife told me it was and full of lies different statements than were in court she even lied about child care cost that she does not even pay to up the child support she makes about 45,000 a year and my new job I will make about 25,000 I filed a motion to modify on the grounds of fraud on the court I was deemed fit and proper the have shared time by the judge due to my attorneys mistake and a lazy judge I denied time with my twins and they were denied equal time with their father I hope proving the lies will get us the equal time we have a right to have. Loving father in Arden nc

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    Comment by shayne thompson | April 10, 2015 | Reply

  28. Great site

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    Comment by Mark | April 11, 2015 | Reply

  29. I had a custody order to pick my kids up for the summer. Now the mother is not allowing me to get them. I took out a contempt order against her but it will be 6-7 months before the it is heard. What can I do to get an immediate ex parte?

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    Comment by Keith Frazier | July 16, 2015 | Reply

    • We are not lawyers or a law firm, but unless you have some evidence of immediate physical abuse against the child you won’t be getting an ex-parte. Welcome to the world of mom is in control and nothing you can do about it except go through the court process and lose, and spend money with lawyers.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | July 25, 2015 | Reply

  30. My ex husband had no evidence of any type of abuse ( because there wasn’t any due to his accusations being false. ) and Yadkin County NC granted him an ex parte.

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    Comment by Sandy | July 25, 2015 | Reply

  31. Very interesting read. So sad that this is how the justice system is when it comes to child custody. I wish I would have known these things or I would have been the first to do them. I did everything the right and truthful way. He lied about everything and got everything he wanted while I got nothing. Now my children are stuck with a babysitter that doesn’t even speak English and are constantly getting bullied by her children. When I try to talk to him to see if we can work together to come up with a better solution as far as babysitters he refuses to talk to me.
    As far as child-support goes I was wondering why I have to pay so much with as little money as I make. Thanks to your article it all makes sense.

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    Comment by Sandy Ghafoor | July 28, 2015 | Reply

  32. I want to speak with someone about what Judge Noecker allowed my ex wife to do.

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    Comment by Joshua Stamey | August 31, 2015 | Reply

    • Joshua, we have heard all about Judge Noecker and the anti-male things he does, and his biased courts. We encourage you to start a regime of calling Representative Sarah Stevens once a week and ask her when she is going to do family law reform? She is the only person in NC who can do anything about what you have experienced.

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      Comment by stompkinsnc | August 31, 2015 | Reply

  33. Something is clearly wrong with a system that will give a mother her child when she’s neglected to care for them, and not to the father who has demonstrated desire and ability to do so.
    The judge in Cumberland County, NC that heard my nephew’s case this past week did just that! He issued temporary order for the child to go back to the mother and gave the father a couple of hours every other week! How would Judge Robert Stiehl like to see his children for a few hours every other week?
    Cumberland County Courts: I implore you consider the facts when custody and visitation is being determined in this case. Consider the father in this case for the facts that were presented; affidavits and subpoenaed records all depicting a mother with documented issues with DSS and domestic abuse allegations.
    My nephew was seeking custody for the safety and wellbeing of his daughter. He wasn’t asking to rip this child away from her mother. He wanted, for their daughter’s sake, her to get the help she needed for her mental illness. She wasn’t caring for the baby while they were together, how could she after he left her. She barely could take care of herself. This judge ripped the baby out of the arms of the father who cares for her wellbeing and worries for her safety while in her mother’s care. I don’t image Judge Steihl would know how that feels. I’m sure he sleeps great at night without a worry about his children’s safety in the hands of their mother.
    The mother in this case certainly knew how to manipulate the system by using the words ‘domestic abuse’, but the fact that the lawyer had subpoenaed records documenting how she’d cried these words several times in other domestic relationships, was blind to you, Judge Robert Stiehl.
    Judge Stiehl, you heard, or maybe you chose not to hear, the following facts and still ruled in favor of the mother:
    The fact that she wasn’t homeless because she is living with her mother for the past month when in fact her mother isn’t legally able to house her because she has 3 of her daughter’s children in her care from other fathers. Children that were taken away from her and she was stripped of her parental rights. Technically speaking she’s homeless and you gave her the baby. By the way, she’s already been told to move out.
    The fact that she may have said she was looking for work when in fact she’s soliciting for another ‘baby daddy’ to support her. She puts my nephew’s baby at risk with ‘boyfriends’ abusing and controlling mothers in this situation. Don’t tell me it doesn’t happen; Baby Bella of Massachusetts is one example. Single mothers who have mental issues like Casey Anthony in Florida. You’re more afraid of not issuing a domestic abuse order than considering that the mother is the potential threat.
    The fact that DSS was going to be at the hospital to take this baby from her once it was born hadn’t it been for my nephew who made a case that he would provide a home and support the mother and their baby. In fact he did rent a house and every day he went to work not knowing if his baby was going to be well cared for. He would call to be sure the mother was caring for their daughter, and when she didn’t answer, he’d have to call a neighbor and friend to check up on her, to find her sleeping or drug induced. Really, fathers shouldn’t have to go to work and worry that their baby isn’t being taken care of by the mother. I guess you don’t live with that kind of stress, Judge Stiehl. You are blessed. By the way, there is a signed affidavit to this effect by the very neighbor and friend that apparently went unheeded.
    The fact that she’s purportedly pregnant now with my nephew’s child; has no job, will be homeless, and has mental health issues taking mediation, and self-medicating. This was evident when the baby did not gain any weight in her first 3 months since the mother breast fed while taking drugs for mental health, post-partum, and pain meds for the C-section. The baby had surgery within a month of birth and lost weight, but should have rebound to gain more than 2 pounds by her fourth month. A month with her father and she moved from the 4th percentile to 50th percentile in weight, and is currently at a healthy weight. Again, medical records and a signed affidavit by the baby’s paternal grandmother gone unheeded. I guess you don’t worry about these things either Judge Robert Stiehl.
    The fact that the mother travelled all the way to MA for the emergency order but not once asked to see her daughter, the baby she hadn’t seen in a month. This is indicative of how she really cares. This fact unheeded by you, Judge Stiehl.

    Judge Robert Stiehl, in reality, which apparently escapes you, people like the mothers you favor are maniacal and manipulative and it’s just a matter of time before they mess up again. We’ll be watching because WE, the paternal family and biological father, are the only ones interested in the wellbeing of this baby.
    DSS needs to be on alert for the upcoming case for the unborn child, if there is one. I’m inclined to believe it was yet just another ploy of this woman to further manipulate my nephew into coming back to her.

    This mother has previously been stripped of her parental rights for FIVE other children, one of them being a daughter she is never allowed to see again per order of the biological father. Her and her mother both know how to manipulate the system so well – making NC State agencies look like fools. The children are ‘cash cows’ to them. The maternal grandmother has 3 children because the poor father is disabled, and maternal great grandmother has a daughter. One child was taken from her when she was 3 weeks old!
    I have never been so disgusted of the justice system until the outcome of this hearing. There are more deplorable things going on in this country like how we treat our elderly and U. S. soldiers, and this is right up there. I’m sorry to know that fathers have no rights in this country when it comes to decisions for co-parenting. Why is our judicial system causing this prejudice and cataloging every father as only necessary to pay support rather than be in their children’s lives. Children need both parents in every case where this is possible. Who does that help? I guess it helps the state agencies and the judicial system.
    I found article regarding Judge Stiehl, it was enlightening as well as the article on NC Child Support and Enforcement. Can we say there was presumptive to give the mother the baby because it brings revenue to the state? For every $2 paid in child support, state agencies collect $1.
    Let’s look at Social Security Act Title IV Part D Sec. 458 for a second. States are actually paying incentives to general revenues for social services. No bias here, I’m sure.
    DSS and the JUDICIAL SYSTEM really need to get their acts together. The energy, focus, and resources are misaligned. This country needs to consider the rights of both parents and all circumstances, both past and present, need to be considered. We subject our innocent children to cruelty when we subject them to mothers who really didn’t want them, or boyfriends who are so cold hearted they can torture and murder these innocent beings.

    Like

    Comment by Donna McLean | September 26, 2015 | Reply

    • Consider posting this under Judge Stiehl’s page on here without your name.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | September 26, 2015 | Reply

  34. My ex husband left the state with 2 of my children early September and I have a lawyer and nothing can be done. And nothing seems to be able to get done.
    Since we had shared custody with the 2 children living with him and me with visitation, this is not kidnapping or abduction- it’s simply a violation of custody agreement and since I do not know where they are, no papers to send to him for this violation.
    And no one cares. And there is no help.
    Since I am on SS for depression I guess I deserve this according all NC logic.

    Like

    Comment by NKP | November 4, 2015 | Reply

    • Did you voice outrage when this has been done to fathers for the past 60 years?

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | November 8, 2015 | Reply

  35. I appreciate this website and the information it provides. I will only go briefly into my situation, as there are already too many painful and frustrating stories to go around. I am the father of my child and I live a long distance from my child, but I still see my child monthly. My child support was recently increased so much that I will no longer be able to see my child on a regular basis. My question for those reading this…is there a list of NC attorneys that are in support of bringing equal parenting to NC. But just as important, is there a list of NC attorneys that have reasonable retainer fees and/or seem to charge reasonable number of billable hours. I realize this is subjective. But to the best of my knowledge, the information I am seeking does not exist. I went to the Stand Up for Gus website, but there was not much information there. Are there similar websites out there?

    Until the NC Fathers group obtains its goal of bringing equal parenting to NC, I feel the only three options for the parent that spends the lesser time with their child is to 1) go into depression 2) go into bankruptcy 3) go into depression and bankruptcy. In my opinion the best way to avoid these three options is to retain and support attorneys who are empathetic to parents who are left fighting the unfair battle of trying to spend physical time with our kids and in doing so these attorneys will do what they can to minimize the financial burden we have to pay for utilizing the court system.

    Like

    Comment by Frustrated Dad | November 7, 2015 | Reply

  36. Frustrated Dad, if you are looking for an attorney that will work with you I have had some luck with Emily Tyler Moore she is in Raleigh NC. I don’t know if that is the area where you are dealing with your case, but if it is she might be able to help. As for me I am an active military member who has been accused of many things by my ex-wife (all of which are not true and I have the proof) either way the court ordered me to pay 75% of my income in CS and Spousal support. I found this to be completely crazy as I would not have enough money to even pay my rent. Worst of all I was improperly served and either on temporary duty (traveling) or deploying every time a court hearing was set! I never got my day in court. Most importantly I can only see mi sons every other weekend and on some holidays even though my ex-wife and I agreed to 50% custody with a mediator. Well I finally have a new court date this month I will let you all know what happens.

    Like

    Comment by Just plain frustrated | November 16, 2015 | Reply

  37. Frustrated Dad, what do you consider Reasonable Retainer Fee and Hourly Fee? I am in a situation where my narcissistic / Bi-polar separated wife took away the (3) girls visitation with me since she has now a new boyfriend. allegedly on the advise of her Lawyer Mr. Charles something in the best interest of the children so I feel your pain. It is unheard of that such a thing is allowed but it all is a SPIEL (speal is german). I am having to save up for a retainer Fee of $ 1000, and after that Retainer is used up my Lawyer, charges $ 200/hour. Too much for me to carry. Hell can freeze over before I get depressed, Heart broken sure, but one day what goes around …..This lawyer is considered to be a Fathers rights Lawyer in Charlotte, NC. One can always search for Fathers Rights Lawyers in NC, and get a list, call them and ask. Try this URL http://lawyers.findlaw.com/lawyer/firm/fathers-rights/charlotte/north-carolina you might be able to find what you looking for. Hang in there as we all know the pain. Good luck in finding someone.

    Like

    Comment by help4mma | November 16, 2015 | Reply

  38. One pissed off pop here. I have joint custody of my 17 year old son and 15 year old daughter. There mother and I agreed a few years back to drop the none state ordered support so I could afford to purchase them vehicles and insurance. The dead beat step dad (who can’t keep a job over two months) had a heart attack and the hospital filed for Medicaid for him and her. Now the state is making a case to sue me over child support when my children live with me 20 out of 30 days a month. Leaving me to hire my attorney (which I happen to have on speed dial ) to handle my case against a state attorney and unlimited funds.

    Like

    Comment by T Mack | December 3, 2015 | Reply

    • Anytime someone in the custodial family goes on medicaid the federal government via child support makes them recoup money from the non-custodial parent. Do your review on the social security act Title IV-D

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | December 9, 2015 | Reply

  39. What do you know about New Hanover County Family Court Judge Robin Robinson? Any insight on her would be appreciate. So far we have had no luck with her.

    Like

    Comment by Kathy | December 5, 2015 | Reply

    • I have not seen my twins in two and a half weeks my x is denying me contact I did not even get a call on Christmas. She is violating a court order. This will be the second time I have had to file a motion to show cause maybe this time Judge Dray of Asheville NC will stop Attorney Adam Bull from filing false statements for my x. Maybe this time the parent alienation will stop and the twins will be aloud to love me.

      Like

      Comment by Shayne Thompson | January 3, 2016 | Reply

    • Family court in North Carolina takes time away from fit fathers and mothers simply to gain child support. They break the law to show the other is unfit even when they are not the Judges allow attorney’s to file false statements and have their clients lie on the stand. This has been the case with my dealings with Judge Dray in Asheville and my X wife’s attorney Adam Bull they file lies with no consequences or repacustion from the judge. I have not seen my twins in 7 months or talked to them on the phone I miss them.

      Shayne Thompson from Hendersonville

      Like

      Comment by Shayne | May 21, 2016 | Reply

  40. I am looking for an attorney in the Catawba County area to fight for my brother. His ex wife keeps the kids from him a month or more at a time. He is suppose to get them every other weekend. Please help!

    Like

    Comment by April Howad | March 11, 2016 | Reply

  41. I need help finding out how to lower my child support. I pay $437 from an income of $836 a month. I was remarried until January 2016 so I not have started to work more but only make $1600 a month and I’m in college full time. So I have no income to support the amount, I cannot pay it, and need to lower it. I bought plane tickets for my visit over Christmas and spent $1,600 on them for me and my daughter. I flew to NC from Texas and when I got there my daughter’s mom refused to give her to me. Please let me know how to lower this as I’m behind 2-3 months.

    Like

    Comment by Garrett Ives | May 7, 2016 | Reply

    • Your ONLY, and I mean ONLY option is to apply for a deduction with child support enforcement itself or hire a lawyer to argue your case before a judge.

      Like

      Comment by stompkinsnc | May 9, 2016 | Reply

  42. I’m also going through this as we speak I never dealt with cps or had them called on me but the mother of my kids was in a advanced stage of drug addiction and I watched her start down a road I wanted to save her and my family from before it was too late so I called to try and get her help so they call us in the office and in the same day took our kids with the solution being me to leave her and it be only the kids and I which I felt was wrong because we had kids together our oldest being 11 and we had been together for 13 years so not only to save my kids mother,our family but she was my one and only love ever and only relationship she got on suboxone plus we took the required parenting class in the end still not enough they got her doctor to terminate her so in the end I helped her off them and a little over a year they give away custody but our cps worker was a former schoolmate of hers she bullied then mid case my lawyer withdrew from me as a client because she became an employee of cps so there are many conflicts of interest I feel plus they have us down 4 neglect abuse and drug abuse none are with support but the drugs because my kids had everything please someone point me towards help because there are many more issues I’ve not named I feel I have a strong case they ruined our lives and now we all have had mental and physical trams that will never be fixable plus our home we had been renting to own over half paid off where I’m on disability and our kids check helped our bills we lost it plus much more but the main thing we lost was each other

    Like

    Comment by Ronald backus | September 29, 2016 | Reply

  43. I would like to help. Are there any meetings organized to get people together to plan future actions? It does not look like this site is very active recently.

    Like

    Comment by Stephen E Kraus | December 30, 2016 | Reply

  44. Thank you for creating a site to help fathers who want to be their children’s lives. Quick question: do you have a list of lawyers in the Fayetteville NC area who are fair and concerned regarding child support issues? Thanks again.

    Like

    Comment by Charles Pope | February 16, 2017 | Reply


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